Discovering that your not alone

[Becca25]

Hi Friends and sweetys ;p

Im wondering, when did you learn about "Cd massive community". When did you saw that you wher not alone in this Emotional doubt? (not talking about the Trav or gay factor) and how was your process before and after that discoveries? ;x

For my case, 4 years ago, i had some attirance for some ex-girlfriend pantys. And iv loved sometime to try one of their dress at home alone. But never consider doing it "full size" and admit to myself the feminine intention behind it.

And a year ago, had to live kinda alone for a time.. and discover attirance for mor tight clothing and liked girl music when i was in a certain mood. Then iv bought some lingerie to try it on. Wow! this was so fun, and the rest came fast. Some tight skirt etc. But... I was feeling like the only one in the world (except trav or gai ppl) to do that... wut i was becoming. Wher's my place between all that... is that a long process going on? or a permanent state admited out?

And then about 2 weeks ago... searching for i dont remember what... i have discover the term Crossdressing! And a lot of great people doing it!! And they feel the same way as me about it!!! I'm Normal again! I have break the barrier of the self-lying. I do Feel well balance now in all of this and really excited to take it seriously instead of hiding my thing in small box. Hidden from the Sandman Hihi. I feel really dumb to not have search before but.. i was so shame of it. I see the light now! before... I was blind. ;p


-Always beleive in instinct, the true gift of mother nature

[Karren H]

I first realized I was not alone in the 10th grade. When I was looking at a Life or Look magazine. There was an article about the transvestites of NYC and I was amazed... That was 42 or 43 years ago.... So I knew there were more out there. I could just never get in touch with any of them till 7 years ago when I found URnotAlones web site and a small cd forum that Emily Ann and I got kicked off from. Yani yani yani!! Lol.

[jenniferj]

Growing up in the fifties and sixties, there were a few hints that there were others like myself - I remember reading "catcher in the rye" in high school and being delighted by Holden watching a cd in another room through the window. Certainly there were little bits in magazine articles and the like. And there was the drag scene in Greenwich Village and Hollywood, but they seemed very different from what I was feeling.

I think the realization that there are many of us came about 20 years ago (pre-internet) when I happened across a full page ad for Michael Salem - I was amazed that there would be enough customers to justify such a business.

And then came the Internet and all of the ways to learn about lots of things...

- jj

[Emily Ann Brown]

Darn you sister. You had to mention we got KICKED OUT OF A CD GROUP didn't you!!!

For the record..this group was soooo heavy. If you typed HAHAHAHA you were out of bounds. You can imagine how many hours it took for us to get the boot!!!!


Em

[eluuzion]

I think the realization that there are many of us came about 20 years ago (pre-internet) when I happened across a full page ad for Michael Salem - I was amazed that there would be enough customers to justify such a business.

- jj

Me Too!!!:hugs:

My father used to have a stack of Playboy,Penthouse and the "misc section", lol stashed in a big pile behind his three slot machines (I played with those too) in his closet. I remember the page set up was like one of those old electronic parts magazines, where there were pics and little info paragraphs scattered on the page like a collage in print. At first I thought it was an ad for Halloween costumes. lol Now THAT was a fun closet!

I got my first laptop in 96' right after I got divorced. That is when the finger in the dike became a collapse of the damn, and mass flooding started. This CD thing is all Bill Gates fault, along with everything else...:D

:love:

[docrobbysherry]

Your NOT alone anymore, Becca!

I dressed in a complete vacuum for 10 years before I came out here 4 years ago! I was certain I was the only one perverted enuff to dress up and do this stuff!
What I happily discovered is; there r 1000's of us and most CDs AREN'T perverts like me!

[Becca25]

Lol, nice story! Seems like i was too busy watching porn in teenage years ;p And iv read silence of the lamb in school years so i haved a bad image of Trav when younger. Take some maturity to understand the process too i think or just some needs appear faster for some people ;p

So nice Sherry ;p same relief

[Karren H]

Darn you sister. You had to mention we got KICKED OUT OF A CD GROUP didn't you!!!

For the record..this group was soooo heavy. If you typed HAHAHAHA you were out of bounds. You can imagine how many hours it took for us to get the boot!!!!


Em

If I remember correctly YOU started it by verbally attacking Miss gods gift to feminity yani yani girl!! Lol. I just jumped on the pile! :)

[CircleofFifths]

I learned about it very recently. I've always been a macho man type. Recently though, I started to get curious and played around with some girly clothes. I told my girlfriend and she had no problem with it. She said that she didn't think I was strange and that there were many, many people that liked to wear clothing of the opposite sex. Intrigued, I searched online. Low and behold, here I am. ;)

[Emily Ann Brown]

Darn you sister...when we were children you always used that " he started it " line to get out of trouble.

You never change! HAHAHAHAHAHA!


Em

[5150 Girl]

As soon as i discoverd the internet... A search on the topic was one of the first thngs I did. However, although I have found quite an on line community, I still have yet to find a local, in person comunity. I think most of "us" from here most likely run to Columbus

[UNDERDRESSER]

I think I've known for a long while there were others, but it's been a gradual realization that there were many different reasons for it, not just fetishism or things like drag acts. I think one of the biggest discoveries was that there was a chance I might find a girl that was OK with it ( just a chance, haven't found one yet, though I haven't been looking hard ) The thing that prompted that was an episode of, I think, Hill Street Blues. One of the male officers is ordered undercover in drag to catch a rapist, and after the capture his fellow officers deliver him back home to his wife(?) without returning his male clothes.

"Look honey, I can explain. " He says as her face takes on this incredulous expression.

"OMG, that is so hot!" then leaps on him. Of course, he then refuses to return the outfit....

Ah, well.. I'm allowed to dream , aren't I?

[Robynts]

I remember finding Tapestry in various porn shops back in the 70's and 80's (I was VERY young then, not near as old as Karren). I was always amazed at the beautiful women that graced the pages of that magazine. Though I never tried to contact any of the girls on the personal pages, I could identify with many of them (except they were all far more beautiful than I). My next step was connecting with the Tri-Ess bulletin board and the chat echos, this had to be back in the early 90's. In those days I was chatting with the likes of Lola Cola and Jami Ward and some of the other early leaders of the CD/Trans community.

[RADER]

I remember in the 60's a Christine Jorgensen; A lot of print on her Getting her SRS.
It was like she was going to leave this world for a different planet.
Rader

[Karren H]

I remember finding Tapestry in various porn shops back in the 70's and 80's (I was VERY young then, not near as old as Karren). .

It would have been greatif you had used a bigger font so I could read this? Lol. The Life magazing was circa 1968-69..

I also remember seeing flyers when I was 12 down in New Orleans for some drag queen shows...

[Stephanie-L]

The thing that introduced me to the larger world of the CD was Nugget Magazine and their columnist Haley Tiresius. I had run into a small amount of CD themed porn previously, but this was the first time I had seen anyone present CDing in a mostly non-sexual way (a bit odd considering the type of magazine it was). I now know that at least some of the information she presented was wrong, but the fact that she presented it in a factual way, without making us seem like perverts or sex addicts, was so very helpful. I had of course seen articles in mainstream publications about TS folks, often not very flattering, but at that time I didn't consider myself to be on the T spectrum, boy has that changed..............Stephanie

[suchacutie]

Two days after the first time I ever dressed and my wife was keen to buy me a dress, I started looking online to find out what the heck was going on with us. This site was one of the first things to hit my search engine, so one could say that I learned about being transgendered here! I did find a lot of other information on the web, but there seems to be a stability here and a sense of a willingness to talk that has been incredibly helpful!

tina

[kimdl93]

I guess I was aware of transvestites from my teens, and who can forget those Monty Python skits. I had a sympathetic therapist back in the 90's who helped me learn to accept myself as a cross dresser, but still, I didn't really know any other cross dressers or know anything about any other cross dresers until I joined this site. Up until then, I was pretty much on my own.

What an enlightening experience this has been! It turns out that some of us are actually pretty normal, decent, well-rounded people ;)

[Maria 60]

I remember seeing drag queens downtown and i thought and scared that i would become like that in time. When i got my first computer i started to see that there where a lot of men in woman's clothing. I would not go on the sites even though i wanted, but 1 day i came across this site and for some reason i wanted to see more. This was the first site i ever joined and it was strange but delightful that for the first time i spoke as Maria. I couldn't believe how many different forms of crossdressers there are, and how many are living the same lives and have the same problems. This site really changed me i now own a wig and makeup and i feel more complete. Most of all it's a great place to vent, and when i do i get great advice or good opinion's from people living in the same situation. It's really made my life much easier.

[Tina B.]

I've known we are not alone since Christine Jorgensen came back a women in 1953 and life Magazine put her on the front cover, I kept that magazine in my bedroom for a long time, before someone removed it unknown to me. But it was years latter that I got to actually talk to one.
Tina B.

[SusanCACD]

My older brothers used to stash Playboys, Hustler and other "mens" magazines under the sink in the bathroom, (I am sure I don't know why there) I found them and was intrigued that they all had "She-Male" adds, THEY LOOKED SO PRETTY TO!!!! I have been intrigued ever since, not cause of the size of their (you know) but (well maybe you don't) that they were so pretty, and I guess I always wanted to be pretty to. That's it, But since finding this place and others on the internet, i find myself wanting to be pretty all the time. guess I am crazy huh....
Susan

[ricci]

I felt alone for 20+ years until I found pantyhosediscussion.com. There was a thread about men who dress all the way and a high heel thread. Then I found this site. Its very nice to know there are many people who dress for the same reasons I do and it's nice to see people dress for other reasons too. I still would have dressed though if I was the only person in the world. For a while I felt like I was was an extreme rarity. I felt like I had nothing in common with drag queens you would see on talk shows. But it is great to see there are others like me.

[Rosemary Jane]

OMG Ladies,

The mere mention of Michael Salem sends fond memories throughout. I remember his first shop, I think it was on 43rd or 44th Street in NYC. I believe his Mom worked there and she sold me my first black lace bra.

I too subscribed to Tapestry, having it sent to a PO box I had, Too bad it went, (in my opinion) over to the TS side. Not that TS is bad but that was not what I was looking for.

Huggers,Janey

[Cynthia Anne]

I guess it was back in the 60's when I read about the first publisized sex change when I realized I wasn't alone!

[Ange]

I have always felt that I have had a feminine side but I was always reserved about expressing it. About 2 years ago the feeling and curiosity became stronger and I started buying clothes and dressing as often as I could. Even tho I live a male life and keep my dressing in the closet it was a relief and a blessing to find out that there was so many others like me. It was a big step in my life when I admitted to myself that I AM A CROSSDRESSER, and that has opened up a whole new world for me.

[Rachel Mari]

I had a feeling that there were other people out there like me but I had no idea how to get in touch with any of them. It wasn't until almost a year ago when I had the bright idea of using google to find out information about crossdressing that I found this website.
Since this discovery, I've come out to my wife, purchased a lot more clothes and finally have some shoes that fit. It's getting better as time goes on.
Now.... if only the marriage survives.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I knew I wasn't alone when I was a teen thanks to Phil Donahue and a few others who did shows about trans issues in a respectful manner (or at least mostly respectable.) Thanks to his show I knew I was a "transvestite", and what that meant and what it did not mean (one could be straight and dress etc.) It did not stop me from feeling very guilty about it though.

Around the time the internet was just taking off I found Tapestry and LadyLike magazine which also really helped (it is a bit of a shame Tapestry became so "dry" toward the end of its run.)

Incidentally, I have half of a Donahue show featuring JoAnn Roberts, some folks from Tri-Ess and IFGE. If anyone else knows where I can find a full copy of the show (I think I taped it as a kid but somehow recorded over it, doh!) I'd love to see it.

[Becca25]

Great to read u all Friends ;p
Seems like you all like that when you first seen it. In my cas it was mor like Ange story. Came from the inside over a long time of incomprehension, try and error process ;p Wer all in the same boat anyway! Living Free minded.

[il.dso]

Interesting question.
It's been great to participate in this forum and realize how many similar experiences and interests I share with others out there in the community.
In that way, I feel much less alone.
In other ways, and at other times, I still feel all alone...

[sometimes_miss]

I knew I was not alone back in the seventies; but I didn't know of any other crossdressers myself. I first came across the newsgroups about crossdressing and transgender on the internet back in I think 1991, right after I got my compuserve account. When the WWW started, things kind of exploded like the big bang, and soon you could find pretty much every type of person out there.

[Melody Phillips]

Back in the late 70's (in my early teen years when I first had feminine urges) I had no idea what I was feeling. The feelings to dress and be fem were very intense and I was confused and held them back for years. It took the Internet years later for me to understand that I was not alone and I had many sisters out here with the same feelings. I am now much more happy and discovering that I am proud to be a crossdresser.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Before this site I was lost, the need to cd grew again but I was grateful for a place where I could chat sensibly too others. I dressed in private considering myself to be weird. Yes I heard of Transvestites and the half man half woman at the shows but they were the base of jokes. Fearing to reveal myself I hid that part of me, secretly admiring Danny LaRue and LesGirls.

Now I feel more alone than ever because I am struggling with a desire to go further with transitioning. It seems apparent that gender issues and GID are better handled from places too far to visit. I feel like I am riding a horse that has gone off the bit and I cannot control anymore. Every now and then I feel it pig root, kick and rear up then I control it but it shakes its head and tries to control me.

The more I read, the more uncontrollable it becomes as what I read is so me. I guess I am getting to a stage in life where ok I accept it but until I lose more weight and get back to a slimmer figure, I will always question the rights of others who see me as weird and perverted.
So in discovering you are not alone, the lonelier I become. Work that one out huh.

[Nicola]

In the Eighties when I first started crossdressing I thought there must be something very , very wrong with me indeed.
I had a compulsion to wear women's clothes and yet I was attracted to women and not to men - how could a bloke with a steady girlriend, who liked messing with cars and drinking beer with his mates possibly have a desire to wear a skirt himself?

There was of course no easily available information in those days and, of course, no one I could confide in.
The internet changed all that for me too and I now know that we crossdressers come in a wide variety of types - some just like me. Phew! what a relief!

[Alice Torn]

iluzzion, No! It is not Bill Gates' fault! It is George Bush's fault! LOL!

[Becca25]

Bush.. lol it was only a puppet of is father... anyway! hehe
I Admit than internet had a big impact. Not in the creation of the need but in the revelation and acceptance of it. Internet was a kind of social mutation. Next it will be portable machine as i call them.
Iv learned a lot of CD tradition in some foreign region of the world. And its a very natural thing that we "western peeps" dont really accept as "normal". Dont Wear what you feel like.... but bring a gun in case!! (sry dear american friends but i had to say it hihi)
Sex gender to me is kind of a spectrum. With male and female at the extrem. We are somewhere in between. Just find your spot and Evolve your conscious ;p

Viva la spiritual Revolution Hehe ;X

[PretzelGirl]

I don't know if it was where I was from, but I never felt alone. Of course I started when I was older, but I always knew that there were others. Like Tania, the thoughts were more like the butt of jokes (thanks media), but I did know. So this old bat got to learn more the same way our younger members do, searching the web. I ended up lurking at the old parsimony site for months and just when I was ready to sign up, they shut down and I ended up here. Fate is good sometimes.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Becca, Every now and then there would be a story in Dear Abby about "My husband wants t o wear my clothes"
Then there was television talk shows I soon found magazines and papers at adult book stores
and then back in the 90's the Inter-net started to bring ( US GIRLS ) altogether and the rest is history.

Orchid