interesting conversation

[kimdl93]

I had an appointment today at the Clinique counter at the mall. The SA let me sample some eye care products and then offered to do my eye make up. While she was talking, she asked if I minded answering a personal question: "When did you decide to become a cross dresser?"

I explained that i'd been a CDr all my life. It wasn't a "choice" per se, but something that I was born with. I mentioned I'd only been dressing fully en femme for a few years , and only started going out in public a few weeks ago.

She said she didn't realized I was male when I first visited her counter a couple of weeks back - at least not until she got a closer look at my neck (ugh).
Over all I took that as a compliment. She mentioned that they had another CDr there a while back, but that he wasn't as feminine, friendly or out going. More points for her....I'll choose to believe she was sincere and wasn't just saying so to make a sale!!!

Then she asked another interesting question. I'd mentioned my wife - and she asked if I was married to a man or a woman. I was able to use the opportunity to do a little education, informing her that most CDrs are heterosexual and many of us are indeed happily married to women.

So, I had another great experience out and yes, I bought some eye shadow and concealor too!

[RADER]

You did great; If only more people would understand about cross dressing, We are not
freaks, nor are we dangerous. We are just people who like to wear different clothing from time to time.
Rader

[kimdl93]

A little addition - a moment ago I ran to the cleaners to pick up my wife's dry cleaning. I went fully en femme. The manager and his wife (they are Vietnames) both know me as a male, but have each seen me at least once en femme. Today, the manager mentioned I looked different and I guess asked which was me. I explained both. He, in effect asked why, and I said I enjoy it. And he of course asked if the woman I picked up clothes for was my wife or... And I again explained that yes, we were married. During my previous visit, his wife grilled me about children and grand children - I guess she was surprised that I wasn't gay and that I was capable of reproduction.

Anyway, another small step towards educating the masses.

[sissystephanie]

Kim, congratulations on being so open about being a CD!! However, I do have to correct you on one thing! You told the SA that Cd'ing was something you were born with!! Since nobody held a gun to your head the first time you put on something feminine that is not true. You did "choose" to be a CD'er just like all of us did!! Certainly there may have been a strong inner push, but in any case you made the decision to do it. Just as I and all other CD'ers did!! I sincerely doubt that there are very many CD's who were forced into becoming one!

BTW, I was married for almost 50 years to a wonderful lady who knew that I was a CD when we married. She fully supported me until cancer took her 6 years ago. We had 2 wonderful children and 3 grandchildren, who of course are now all grown up!! Incidentally, you are a very good looking woman!! This is coming from a 79 year man who had a wife, and now has a girlfriend who is married!! Also, she lives in Scotland!!

[Cynthia Anne]

Where would we be if you could educate the world with that comment! Very nice going! Hugs!

[sissystephanie]

Scarlet, you are right in your reply!! But someone who is "gay" or who plays the violin chose to do so!! It was not in their heads when they were born!!

[Barbara Dugan]

Scarlet, you are right in your reply!! But someone who is "gay" or who plays the violin chose to do so!! It was not in their heads when they were born!!

Hi Stephanie, I hope you have time to go thru this blog. It's just an example how we don't choose to be gay or transgender... we are born this way:hugs:
http://borngaybornthisway.blogspot.com/

[Cassandra Lynn]

It was not in their heads when they were born!!
:evilbegon :facepalm: :hmph: :idontknow: :notlistening: :bonk: :naughty :wall:

[Sally24]

Congratulations Kim. Getting out in the world, enjoying yourself and helping people learn are all great things!




......someone who is "gay"......chose to do so!! It was not in their heads when they were born!!


I'm sure there are many homosexuals that would disagree with you. They may choose to act on their feelings or not but they would still be gay. Are you still a CD/TG if you don't act on those feelings? I'd have to say yes.

[Christinedreamer]

Scarlet, you are right in your reply!! But someone who is "gay" or who plays the violin chose to do so!! It was not in their heads when they were born!!

Sorry to have to correct you but as a long time straight member of the MCC Church I have many gay friends. They ALL felt "that way" from a very early age usually around 4-5 just as most CDers and TG/TS folks seem to feel they first became aware. They may not have understood what the feelings and interests were, but they did NOT choose the life at all.

[kimdl93]

OK, we kinda got off track. I'll side with Sissystephanie on the fact that I chose to get dressed yesterday. So to that extent, its a choice. And I'll side with the "born this way" commenters on the feeling that the desire/need/or whatever have been with me since my earliest recollections.

But to get back on track, isn't it interesting that people's assumptions are consistent even accross cultures...both a Hispanic make up specialist and a Vietnamese dry cleaner assumed I must be gay because I was a cross dresser.

[Marie-Elise]

I think the gay thing is always present when crossdressing is concerned. I know I've read here that when men come out to their wives, one of the first questions is always "Are you gay?"

Personally, I got the same question from my wife along with "Do you want to be a woman?" I told her I am not sure of much but I am sure I am not gay and that I do not want to be a woman. Luckily, she was curious about this desire an immediately went to her closet and got a slip for me to put on. I did and we went into the kitchen, poured a couple of glasses of wine and talked about it for a while. She is incredibly open minded and I am grateful.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled thread.