For Members That Blend Well: Biggest Thrill After Passing Becomes Passe’ ?

[Stefia S]

I was wondering for those members that feel its important that they blend or pass, and most of the time are successful at it…
. Has anything you’ve done rivaled the thrill you had when you were first going out in public?
. Are you seeking new ways to get similar adrenaline rushes? Or does it even matter to you anymore?
. What “stretch goals” do you have that would challenge your female persona?

[michelle64]

very interesting question..i have passed for years and still do but have been very bored with it now for some time..i recently tossed most every article i owned (well donated)..mostly due to the fact i have gone from a size 22 to 14/12 and nutin fit anymore...damn weight loss, but boy does it feel good to be in good athletic shape..hard question for me to really answer as i have done just about everything but flying and thats not really a problem since i fear airplanes..so i guess in some sense it does not matter anymore..but time will tell

[LeannL]

After I was able to go out and not have everyone turn their head to check out the CD, my goals were to find things that caused me to interact with others. Top of the list contained flying, checking into a hotel and similar interactions. One of the strangest challenges I did was to go to a hair cutting place in a mall dressed as a woman and had my male hair cut (after taking off my wig).

Leann

[Christina Horton]

Well I don't really need a "thrill" to go out but something like golfing , and maybe one day in a one of two peace bathing suit etc. But that's just me. I just want to be me out of doors.

[Cynthia Anne]

I have never got bored with being out!I GUESS IT WILL ALWAYS BE A THRILL BEING ME!

[Persephone]

Wow! What an excellent question, Stefia!

Excitement wise, in crossdressing nothing has ever rivaled those various "firsts." So yeah, the excitement is mostly gone and I don't seek an "adrenaline rush." But that doesn't mean that the thrill is gone!

Everyday brings pleasure (and some occasional pain) as I find myself integrated into a mainstream female world. I continue to experience new things, some big, some little. A small example is when I notice the subtle colors in something and realize that the men that I'm talking to didn't. At times like that I smile inside and think "I'm still growing as a woman."

Being with my women's group, just hanging together chatting and having dinner. Sitting with two friends as we get our nails done and being incorporated into a discussion of things that would never be discussed in the presence of a man. Dancing circle dances with the ladies auxiliary at my congregation and feeling my long skirt swirling around my ankles.

I am at an impasse with my "stretch goals." I would like to have some, but I'm not sure what they should be. Somehow, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in a skirt just doesn't sound like it would do it for me. Any suggestions?

But even without express crossdressing goals, I still feel that as I continue living the best is yet to be.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Leslie Langford]

Hi Stefia,

Here's my contribution...


…
. Has anything you’ve done rivaled the thrill you had when you were first going out in public?

- first time using a women's fitting room en femme (and actually being invited to do so by an SA).
- first time using a women's washroom and totally blending in.
- first time trying on and buying a wig en femme in a regular wig shop.
- first time a GG spontaneously complimented me on my outfit as I was walking through a mall.
- first time trying on and buying lingerie in a lingerie boutique.
- my first professional makeover done by a freelance GG make up artist.

Are you seeking new ways to get similar adrenaline rushes? Or does it even matter to you anymore?
. What “stretch goals” do you have that would challenge your female persona?

- getting a pedicure while en femme.
- getting a makeover at a department store MAC counter, since I've heard from so many gurlz here now what a blast that can be!

[Stefia S]

Wow! What an excellent question, Stefia!

Excitement wise, in crossdressing nothing has ever rivaled those various "firsts." So yeah, the excitement is mostly gone and I don't seek an "adrenaline rush." But that doesn't mean that the thrill is gone!

Everyday brings pleasure (and some occasional pain) as I find myself integrated into a mainstream female world. I continue to experience new things, some big, some little. A small example is when I notice the subtle colors in something and realize that the men that I'm talking to didn't. At times like that I smile inside and think "I'm still growing as a woman."

Being with my women's group, just hanging together chatting and having dinner. Sitting with two friends as we get our nails done and being incorporated into a discussion of things that would never be discussed in the presence of a man. Dancing circle dances with the ladies auxiliary at my congregation and feeling my long skirt swirling around my ankles.

I am at an impasse with my "stretch goals." I would like to have some, but I'm not sure what they should be. Somehow, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in a skirt just doesn't sound like it would do it for me. Any suggestions?

But even without express crossdressing goals, I still feel that as I continue living the best is yet to be.

Hugs,
Persephone.
I think you're right - the thrill is still there for me, but the heady rush from going out in public has faded.

My "stretch goals" have got to do with being more emotionally expressive and intuitive, in ways unacceptable for men, but feel natural but not second nature to me. By being mindful of my experience, I'd like for these atributes to become second nature, almost spontaneous, for me in my femme persona. Now what activities I do, with whom and where are fuzzy - I trust I'll intuitively recognize good opportunities when I see them though.

[Paula_56]

Great Topic Stefia

I have always believed that developing a feminine presentation takes work, just like full time women, you can't pull that ill fitting dress out of a box in the garage once a month and expect to look like some of the beatiful women here on the forum, that being said yes you need some goals, and have to work toward them

I too Stefia want more interaction as a woman, more living as female and being accepted as a female.
One of the things I'd like to do is go to a job fair or job interview as a woman.

I's also like to take modeling or feminine deportment lessons

[kimdl93]

While it was exciting...if heart pounding fear is exciting...to venture out into the real world for the first time. Honestly, I found the adrenaline rush to be distracting and in fact somewhat annoying, because it meant I hadn't yet conquered the worst of my fears.

For myself, blending in is really the goal, not so much passing, since I just am not confident that can happen. My other goal is to feel comfortable and normal doing things. Not that heart pounding exhilleration, but rather just enjoying my time out and about, in calm, relaxed manner. So every day, I try to do some ordinary, everyday thing...whether its grocery shopping, picking up dry cleaning or getting a cup of iced coffee at Starbucks. The more relaxed I am (and the more I accept that I may not blend in convincingly all the time) the more I enjoy the experience.

[Loni]

i would not say i blend well...not even really blend in...more like stick out like a sore thumb.
but getting out is fun, if it were to become boring there are always new ways to have fun. doing different things. going to different places.

like i just bought a motor bike so now i need to gear up in womens leather and get out for a ride in fem. sure no face is seen, but colors and body shape have a lot to do with image.
if i could just get the "right" couple days off work i would go back to school. (state collage).

[Karren H]

I don't pass well imho..... But the only thing I have found that rivals the thrill of the first time out enfemme involved falling out of a perfectly good air plane, 3,500 feet above the ground. Too bad that initial thrills only happens the first time you do something...

[Chickhe]

I only have passed a handfull of times. My experience has been dressing up started with the strong desire to CD and only after picking some goals and reaching them, did my desire change to enjoyment. So, in some ways, it is old hat to dress up and yes some of the excitement has gone. However, its different also. The first time was excitement caused by fear, then the thrill of doing different activities to see if you could do it an survive ego intact, now it is a challenge to do better and the excitement is from the creativity. When I did pass in a few situations, the excitement was from the unique social interaction when is clicks that you are being treated a certain way because you are 'female'. I'm starting to enjoy having fun with people and my Cding... it is like an acting challenge where I try to perfect the role and yet if I'm discovered, its not a big deal to me. I'm getting enjoyment out of the art of CDing...seeing others do it, watching makeup videos, seeing how the drag stars do it...etc.

[kellycan27]

It becomes passe' when you no longer have to try and pass.... to pass.

[5150 Girl]

I don't know, It seems like I pass about 75% of the time atleast. And now that I know I'm in a good place in terms of passing, and feel safe beeing out in the community, it really dosn't mater to me anymore. But then again for me it was never about seeking an adrenine rush of any kind, it's always been about beeing acepted for who I am on hte inside.
So I guess my over all feeling about beeing dressed in public is simply that of satisfaction.

[carhill2mn]

For me, who has been "out and about" for a long time, it is no longer about the "rush", etc. I just enjoy being treated as a lady without any hassle. I do not have any "stretch goals", as such. I just do more "every day" things.

[AllieSF]

Well, I think that I blend well enough, which means that I am satisfied how I present, actually look good enough to pass at a distance, blend at a shorter distance and not scare anyone away from close up. Having a healthy dose of self confidence and a devil may care attitude also helps a lot too. So, I never have any issues nor problems with getting out. The thrill of my first time out was wonderful. I just keep checking things to do en femme off of my Bucket List while at the same time adding new ones to it. These are definitely better than those dreaded "Honey Do" lists in my opinion. I get a lot of thrills and enjoyment out of what I do en femme. I can be just sitting having a coffee watching people walk by and can get that wonderful feeling that I am doing exactly what I want in that moment and I am doing it en femme. When I do the big ones, like last year traveling round trip and enjoying Las Vegas en femme for 3 days, the thrill is definitely back and in some ways bigger than that felt the first time I ventured out into the real world. I have some Bucket List items that are now just one more thing for me to do and others that are definitely stretching my goals. I want to do an overnight, if possible, train ride to Seattle, or down the coast of California. I want to travel long distances totally en femme and remain that way at the final destination. I would say that my biggest stretch is to meet a lovely lady in Allie mode (not "a la mode" Karren!), and begin a relationship where my both sides are known and accepted from the onset. This last one I am working on and may have some good news for me for the future in the near future. Time will tell.

[Brown Eyed Girl]

Maybe stepping out for the first time is the biggest rush, or scary time....but once you have done that, it's...what is the next boundary you thought you'd never do?

Is it driving? Then driving where you need to pay a toll to a toll taker? Or perhaps pay a parking garage attendant?
Is it shopping? And then shopping and buying something and using a debit card at self serve? Then buying something and paying a cashier in person?
Is it going out to dinner at a TG friendly restaurant? And then maybe a mainstream restaurant? Or some fabulous casino in Vegas?

There are so many great opportunities!

[kendra_gurl]

Oh that first time out was so exciting but so long ago. Now, while still exciting, that rush is no longer there but I think that is because I do dress to blend in rather than stand out. That is the strange thing about going out. If I dress like every other woman (to blend) I no longer feel that constant insecurity of if I am passing or not. The enjoyment of being out is still there but with self confidence its now so much more relaxed that I no longer feel much different than while in drab.

I would love to go clubbing dressed very provocatively and know everyone was admiring me while they accepted what I am. You know the way we sometimes like to dress for only the mirror.:heehee:

Stretch goal: I've always dressed myself or with wifes help. I've had my nails done but would love to visit a total transformation salon in drab and be transformed by professionals without them ever seeing photos or knowing how I do it myself. I'm sure it would be interesting to see the different style of hair and makeup one of these transformation services would suggest. It would also make for a great day to just be totally pampered and treated like a female.

[kristinacd55]

Gosh, ask me when I pass in the real world...went shopping with a tg girlfriend and I was scared the whole time!! I've been to clubs with a lot of other friends, but I wouldn't include that

[Kaz]

Yeah the early times were 'exciting' looking back, but at the time I was petrified! I still have not overcome my basic fear of being ridiculed and laughed at. I have had some good times out and some very uncomfortable times (nothing major... just me interpreting how people looked at me). But I got to a place a while ago where I am no longer confident to do it - well I will go out but not mingling amongst people in the daylight. I am just very cautious these days. So for me it never became 'passe' - it just feels like the mountain has now got a bit more 'tricky'. My next goal... to get back out there and win my confidence back!

This is why I am in awe of girls like Kimberley et al...

[PretzelGirl]

It becomes passe' when you no longer have to try and pass.... to pass.

Kelly, I try and blend to avoid attention. You, young lady, have no hope of not drawing attention. :D

[Sara Jessica]

Oh no, here comes Sara with one of her "passing" diatribes....

And how does one know if they truly pass? And does it count when we open our mouths? This is a big time giveaway for many of us.

So when blending in with the crowd becomes passe, normalcy sets in which describes my goal to the letter. To simply "be", to experience normalcy in this wonderful world of ours. If (as in "when") I'm read as being trans, I really don't care in the least bit. So anything I might do in the pursuit of just being myself is a bonus.

[Persephone]

I want to do an overnight, if possible, train ride to Seattle, or down the coast of California. I want to travel long distances totally en femme and remain that way at the final destination.

Back in March my spouse and I did a 6,000 mile train trip with me full-time en femme. In the dining cars the tables are for four so you are usually seated with others. We had a wonderful time meeting and enjoying dinner with people from all over the U.S.

The final leg of our trip was the portion that you have described as we traveled on the Coast Starlight from Portland, Oregon to Los Angeles. It is a very lovely trip.

Enjoy!

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y53/sandylewiscares/100_4425Enhanced.jpg

Hugs,
Persephone.

[StarrOfDelite]

Getting hit on by an apparently straight man in a non-Gay saloon. It has happened a limited number of times to me, and it was an awesome rush each time. I have successfully managed to forget how inebriated the guys were at the time, too!

[Cheryl T]

It was never about a "rush" for me. I just needed to get out and express myself.
Now it's just as normal as any other activity and that's the way I like it. I'm just me doing what I like to do.

The first time there was fear of discovery, now there is just shopping, dining, movies and sightseeing....gotta love it!

[thechic]

It started off a a thrill,then started wearing more reveiling clothing,now i dont realy care as im out and female 24/7,Im not a pritty looking Girl but do pass as a woman often at close range.

[Sam-antha]

Probably the first time that I left an hotel bedroom to go down to a strange dining room. That door opoening took a while but the feeling/rush when I pressed the lift button was immense.
My next biggie - not dressed - may well be, as with Karren's memory, but on a smaller scale, when I do a bungee of 200ft orver water.

~Samm