Blend or Are You Outed?

[deebra]

When out and about (walmart, mall, errands) and wearing a fairly tight pair of bootcut girl jeans with embellished back pockets and maybe a neutral top do you think you blend and are not I.D.ed as a CD or are you I.D.ed as a man wearing women's jeans by observant women. If yes can most be O.K. with it or think he's really weard. Are some wondering if he's wearing panties and bra. Do some find it different but intriging and really cool. Is society loosening up and less critical of so many different clothing/physical appearances? When standing in the checkout line I wonder if the woman behind me notices my girly jeans and wonders if I'm wearing panties under them also.

[Sara Jessica]

Given the fact that most people really don't give a hoot that you might be wearing feminine jeans with an admittedly androgynous top, what is it that makes you think these same people would give a second thought to what kind of underwear you might be wearing?

[kimdl93]

its a little of both. I know that most women spot me fairly easily, but those that do either don't care or respond positively. The biggest smirks are from teenage girls, and the most uncomfortable looks are from men. Most people don't give me a first look, let alone a second glance.

I don't know that society is loosening up - perhaps becoming more accepting of transgendered individuals.

[Cynthia Anne]

Gee! When they see MY girly jeans, they know he/she is wearing a bra!:D

[Karren H]

Really? Jeans? So I'm usually the only person in a skirt or a dress.... I don't even try to blend!! I don't want to blend. Why... I don't really pass so why try.... I could. care less what anyone thinks of the way I dress!! And blending is so over rated! If I want to blend I'll get a smoothie!! Lol.

[Wendy_Marie]

It's rather sad to say but in the experiences I have had it seems that most of the world is indeed clueless as to what goes on around them...unless it some big attention grabbing event they just don't pay much attention.

I use to help teach a Self Defense/Women's Handgun Clinic at a local indoor firing range where I spent 4-years as an assistant Range Master....A good portion of the class room time of this course was utilized in teaching observational skills and pointing out just how important that situational awareness is to problem avoidance.

Don't believe it? The next time you go to the mall, or Wal-mart etc...Pay attention to just how many people walk around with their heads down, eyes averted and you will see many who purposefully attempt to avoid any eye contact...Women in general unfortunantley are bad about this...No offense intended to the GG's here....this info is not just my personal observation.

This in-attention sometimes bodes well for those of us who do prefer to go through our shopping, errands etc...incognito. But if you really want to catch most GG's attention...it's the shoes they look at first and that which grabs their attention...that is if my GG friend Lori is to be believed?

[deebra]

Thanks for your input, let me make a little clearer part of my post, say a nice looking normal sized man presenting as a man but is dressed as I described, do you think any women would spot him and be intriged and cool with it? Would their thoughts run to the point where they might be interested and attracted to this person that relates to women and perhaps on the same page as women (emotionally, mentally and enjoys the soft, sexy, stylish clothing that women wear to make themselves more feminine). As they are exploring these thoughts couldn't they be wondering how he's dressed under the girly outerwear

[Inna]

I am out and about just being my self dressed from head to toe in female clothing 24/7. But I do not wear dresses or skirts, but simple shorts, jeans, Ts and canvas flats. I am into my 8th month of HRT and changes are significant especially to my body. My face is humming along but profile never changes due to Hormones so my look can be best described as "confusing". I love to see the glued 20 second look of en-puzzlement, and see their brain go into overload mode :)
I just giggle and go on. I never had anyone say something derogatory or offensive beyond occasional "MAAM" and I truly don't think anyone had a chance to think about what brand or designation my clothes carry, not to mention of my undies, LOL.

[StarrOfDelite]

Thanks for your input, let me make a little clearer part of my post, say a nice looking normal sized man presenting as a man but is dressed as I described, do you think any women would spot him and be intriged and cool with it? Would their thoughts run to the point where they might be interested and attracted to this person that relates to women and perhaps on the same page as women (emotionally, mentally and enjoys the soft, sexy, stylish clothing that women wear to make themselves more feminine). As they are exploring these thoughts couldn't they be wondering how he's dressed under the girly outerwear

Since anything is possible, and since you phrased the question "do you think any women would spot him and be intriged (sic) and cool with it?" the answer is "Yes." However, if you phrase the question to mean do you think there's a reasonable chance a gender woman might wonder, then my answer would be, "Definitely not." In my opinion less than 1% of all gender women might think the kind of thoughts you describe. I think that a man dressed as you describe would be much more likely to cause gender women to think the man is Gay, and she might have a few X-rated fanasies about what sort of sexual shenanigans Gay men engage in, but that would be it. I would guess that the average gender woman, if she speculated about the man's underwear, would be much more likely to wonder if he is wearing a pair of 2xist or Rips thongs than women's panties, but again just my imo. Most gender women don't even suspect about tucking or taping, let alone speculate.

[sissystephanie]

Deebra, I go out almost every day dressed entirely enfemme, from the skin out, but with no wig and no makeup. So obviously I am a man wearing feminine clothing. The point is that I talk to people, both men and women, when I am out like that and no one has ever asked me about my clothes!! I have been dressing like that for 6 years since my wife passed away! And in that 6 year period No one has ever asked me why I dress the way I do!! If you are decently covered, most people don't care what you are wearing!! They may talk about me behind my back, but who cares? Certainly not me!!

[Jamie001]

Deebra, I go out almost every day dressed entirely enfemme, from the skin out, but with no wig and no makeup. So obviously I am a man wearing feminine clothing. The point is that I talk to people, both men and women, when I am out like that and no one has ever asked me about my clothes!! I have been dressing like that for 6 years since my wife passed away! And in that 6 year period No one has ever asked me why I dress the way I do!! If you are decently covered, most people don't care what you are wearing!! They may talk about me behind my back, but who cares? Certainly not me!!

Sissy Stephanie is correct. People don't care, and why should they? We make way to much of these things in our own heads. 90 percent of fear is in created our mind. (FEAR = F - False, E - Evidence, A - Appearing, R - Real)

[NicoleScott]

You are not alone, Karren. I have never bought, owned, wore, or desired to wear women's pants, jeans, or shorts. Skirts and dresses for me.

[Michelle 51]

I'm with Kim .I think a women can.tell your a man as soon as they see you.Almost all the women I've met have been super nice but I don't think you can fool them for a second.Just a sixth sense they seem to have.

[Billie Jean]

Outed every time I go out dressed cuz I have a goatee. I have seen a few women with chin wiskers but not this full. Billie Jean

[Stephenie S]

Gee sweetie, OF COURSE people notice. How can they not?

The thing is (that shows my age), NOBODY CARES. Many, many, people will not see you. They are simply too wrapped up in their own lives to spend a whole lot of time on other people. But those who LOOK? Yes they will see a man wearing a pair of women's jeans. Do they care??? No. No, they do not. Why should they? They don't know you. They don't give a fig about you. To them, you're just this weird guy they saw in WalMart wearing women's jeans. So?

Those who DO care are those who are close to you. Your partner. Your family. Your boss. Maybe your pastor. Those people may care and may care very much. But think about it. Do YOU care what some stranger you see in WalMart is wearing? No. No you do not. You might see some one and say to yourself, "Why is she wearing that? She looks awful." But that's where it ends. You go on your way and so does she. End of story.

Because no one confronts you does NOT mean they don't "read" you. It simple means they don't care. And that they are considerate enough to know that criticizing another person's choice of clothing in public is REALLY, REALLY bad taste and could turn out to be dangerous.

So relax already. Go where you want. Wear what you want. Nobody (other than those who are close to you) really cares at all. This is a good lesson to learn.

Stephie

[MichelleP]

When in "girl mode", I always go out fully dressed and presenting as a woman. I never mix/match clothing. My feminine attire is usually coordinated to fit the occassion too - I'm a blender. That said, I don't think even observant GGs would give too much thought these days to a guy wearing girly jeans and an androgynous top. To answer your question, I think society is loosening up.

[sissystephanie]

In my earlier post on this thread I said that I go out in public dressed entirely enfemme! That is true, but I did want to clarify one thing. Although I do own several pairs of ladies jeans (sorry Karren!), I rarely wear them out in public. What I usually wear is either a skirt, skort, or a dress, so that I am definitely femininely clothed! I am not trying to be a girl, just dressing like one!!

[kendra_gurl]

I think that a man dressed as you describe would be much more likely to cause gender women to think the man is Gay, and she might have a few X-rated fanasies about what sort of sexual shenanigans Gay men engage in, but that would be it. .

Not only do I agree with this statement but as a crossdresser I too might think a normal looking GUY" wearing a fairly tight pair of bootcut girl jeans with embellished back pockets" might be gay rather than a CD. Where I am from there are a lot of effeminate gay guys who do not crossdress as most of us here do to express a feminine look but rather to just express to the world they are effeminate gay men.

deebra if your OP is your way of asking if you dress the way uou described in hopes of attracting a woman who might be attracted to you dressed that way my answer is I'd rather buy a lottery ticket

[Karren H]

You are not alone, Karren. I have never bought, owned, wore, or desired to wear women's pants, jeans, or shorts. Skirts and dresses for me.

Yes!!! I always operated under the assumption (misguided or not) that people don't really expect to see a guy wearing a skirt or dress so they don't give you a second look! Fact - Women wear dressers.... Where as everyone expects to see men or women wearing jeans so they look harder to try to figure out who the jeans wearer is!! Not many of us subscribe to this... Probably because I just made it up.... But the bottom line is jeans are not feminine!! IMHO... NOT!!

[DonnaT]

I don't wear jeans either!

[ReineD]

Thanks for your input, let me make a little clearer part of my post, say a nice looking normal sized man presenting as a man but is dressed as I described, do you think any women would spot him and be intriged and cool with it? Would their thoughts run to the point where they might be interested and attracted to this person that relates to women and perhaps on the same page as women (emotionally, mentally and enjoys the soft, sexy, stylish clothing that women wear to make themselves more feminine). As they are exploring these thoughts couldn't they be wondering how he's dressed under the girly outerwear

Sorry, but I'd say for most people who are out in day-to-day life, the answer to that is no. You might improve your chances at a GLBT club though.

Generally speaking, women don't fantasize about a guy's underwear as much as a guy might wonder what a girl has on under her clothes. It's not to say that we don't like pics of scantily clad, well chiseled hunks, but when I see a cute guy I think of other things than his underwear.

I think it's safe to say that most GGs might be attracted when they see a guy wearing super tight pants if he has a good body, but only if the whole picture looks male to them. If there is any hint of femininity, it is likely the GGs would believe the guy to be gay and would write him off as not being an option.

[LeannL]

Deebra,

I once did an experiment while on a trip. I flew to my destination with plain women's clothes on: pants, mock turtleneck, flats, and no jewelery, makeup or wig. On the way back I was dressed en femme. I definitely got more strange looks from people on the way out than back. The disconnect is what caused people to look twice and try to rationalize. I did not, however, stop the double-takers and ask if they were wondering what kind of underwear I had on. Sorry.

Leann

[Momarie]

"Would their thoughts run to the point where they might be interested and attracted to this person that relates to women and perhaps on the same page as women (emotionally, mentally and enjoys the soft, sexy, stylish clothing that women wear to make themselves more feminine). As they are exploring these thoughts couldn't they be wondering how he's dressed under the girly outerwear"

No.

I would guess most people notice more than you might think but are too polite to ever say anything.

[StevieTV]

I've never had a problem or comments while out and about in tight women's jeans. I agree with previous posts that say no one really takes the time to observe. I say, if they fit and you feel comfortable, go for it!!

[Kaz]

Being one our 'senior' citizens, my teenage years were spent being a guitarist in a rock band (still do it). I remember going to the shoe store with my girl friend and buying some women's boots with a heel (because guy's stores didn't do them) and I wore crushed velvet trousers and a satin jacket over a tight fitting tee-shirt. Life was cool and I was a star! Mum and dad weren't too sure, but the peer group did. I did mascara and nail polish (on my left hand only - guitarist! :))

Over the next few years I had yellow leather stack heels with red (mock) snakeskin stars on, and on stage wore long knitted socks which were thigh highs with a garter belt to keep them up (!) under some jeans that ended at my knees!

In every way I presented as a guy and believe me I had a lot of girl friends! But that was the spirit of the times... These days, if they notice (which in MHO most don't) if you are dressed in girly jeans and androgenous top you will be positioned as gay, or a muso/arty guy. Girls into the latter may take notice. I have been out and about regularly in boot cut girls jeans etc and didn't register anything! I remember even explaining to the band that I was wearing size 10 girl's jeans (with lycra) - they just thought it was hilarious!

[KylieA]

Girls into the latter may take notice. I have been out and about regularly in boot cut girls jeans etc and didn't register anything! I remember even explaining to the band that I was wearing size 10 girl's jeans (with lycra) - they just thought it was hilarious!

I have been wearing tight girls boot cut jeans for 5-10 years now. I don't anyone noticed. I've also wear 2-4 inch heels with them. Clogs, wedge sandals, ankle boots. I have seen a couple of double takes with 4 inch ankle boots.

[docrobbysherry]

I can't "blend" wearing a granny dress on a moonless nite at the North Pole! So, why bother?

In contrast, Sherry wants EVERYONE to notice her! Again, "blend?", why bother?

[Stacye Rose]

Who cares? I certainly don't. It doesn't matter to me if some notices that I'm being androgenous, or if I get clocked by teenage girls at the mall. I am who I am. and if anyone has a problem they do not have to look. I have just one rule I NEVER go in the ladies room

[StevieTV]

Ok I did a little experiment this morning. I went garage saling and wore tight womens jeans, a fitted orange T and sandals. Know what?... no one commented or even gave me a second look! I had no make up or polish on, just sunglasses as it was sunny out. So there you have it. I stopped at 10 sales, browsed and chit chatted with the sellers. I did score by getting a new pair of sandals (ladies) for $1, a gorgeous pink vase ($2) and an unused Nair home waxing kit for $1 (all from different sales). Did they think I was crossdressing? Who cares, I love deals. Ok, by the way I act, they may have remotely assumed I'm gay :)

[marny]

Haven't owned a pair of jeans in 20 years. Have a closet full of skirts and dresses though! :battingeyelashes:

[SuzanneBender]

I think it's safe to say that most GGs might be attracted when they see a guy wearing super tight pants if he has a good body. Reine you are causing me 80's flashbacks and a longing for my Jordache jeans again. Blending is probably not the best method to attract the ladies. However, if you are looking for that one in a million gal that digs it then no better way to find her than cruising the Baskin Robbins, grocery store or library in a pair of painted on jeans and a rockin top.

I wear Levis 505 straight cut womens stretch jeans. I like the way they fit and they are super comfy. I wouldn't call it blending. I just think of it as wearing what I like.

I am not sure about your concern with others thinking about the underwear you are wearing. Unless you are out in the mall and run into Clark Kent or some kid that just bought X-ray glasses at Spencer's no one is going to notice. I guess there is that scenario that our Mothers used to scare us with. "What if you are in a car wreck?" According to my Mom your underwear would be on full display in the event of an automobile accident. It must be a requirement for paramedics to check the cleanliness of your undies while rendering medical aid after a wreck.

[ReineD]

Reine you are causing me 80's flashbacks and a longing for my Jordache jeans again.

LOL. I'm afraid I dated myself with the comment about tight jeans. Sometimes I forget we're not in the 80s anymore. Do you think younger women today would think they are old fashioned? If so, they don't know what they're missing. :D

[Kaz]

Yeah, Levis 501s are very forgiving for the male, if not that adventurous! Gonna have to check out 505's! My current 501's have decided to reveal my underside... time to move on! Many years ago I used to patch them... ho hum... so I am interested in a more girly alternative that will have the same effect... comfort!

[Michelle 2]

Suzanne you just gave me a flashback when mentioning the Jordache jeans. I used to wear them everyday. If anyone knows were to find them I would love to purchase them again.

Michelle

[Jorja]

Jorja makes a note to clean out the storage room of all Jordache jeans and place a post in the classified section. ;)

[Eryn]

I like the Levi's 505s as well. Fit better and comfier than 501s. They are my normal work wear. An 8 long corresponds to men's waist 31 and inseam 34. The darker the color the tighter the fit.

As far as embellished pockets, I've seen stacks of expensive jeans with embellished pockets in the mens' department. What's commonplace for GGs is now edgy for young males.

[Lorileah]

I wear women's jeans all the time, no one cares. Maybe because I don't try and make a big deal over it?

I got a new pair of jeans I will wear to a jazz concert in a few weeks that have a rhinestone cross on each back pocket, pretty much the same as the guys on stage will be wearing and I doubt they bought theirs at the mall and I am sure they paid 5 times more than me and theirs will be "men's"

Honestly do you think women (or men) go around looking at your butt to see what is on it? If they do they aren't looking for fashion cues

[Erika_bagels]

I always feel like I'm outed when I wear panties in public under my man pants. I think someone's staring at my ass and judging... O_o

[Stephenie S]

I always feel like I'm outed when I wear panties in public under my man pants. I think someone's staring at my ass and judging... O_o

Why Erica Bagels, you are just the cutest thing I have seen in a long time. Having YOU in the closet is a real shame. I should think, wouldn't you, that if you're that cute everywhere, maybe there's a reason they stare at your bootie?

Stephie

[Erika_bagels]

Steph, you're sweet, but that's a digital wig. I'm blushing, though, and am dying to get enough equipment together to show it off. I've had black women tell me I have a big butt (which means a lot as a compliment to me, considering how much back they tend to pack).
I just spend so much time with friends from church, and I keep thinking, what if my frilly waistband peeks up when I bend over or sit down? When I go to the Navy Exchange, I think, is some officer behind me? Can he see? Even if DADT goes away, I get the feeling we're at the bottom of the pervert chain right above pedophiles and rapists if it ever came up in the navy...
However, I honestly do appreciate the compliment. I hope one day I can take a real picture and live up to it! :D

[eluuzion]

I believe that most people are engaging in self-absorbed thinking the majority of time, particularly when shopping. Groups of kids, etc. tend to be more "observant" of other peoples' appearance. Unfortunately, the lack of maturity and peer group dynamics gear them toward more of a "trolling for victims" mindset. (looking for somebody to make fun of).

I notice peoples' appearance, clothing and body language more than normal because I am curious. I am always trying to guess what a person's personality is, just by observing them. I would agree with ReineD's opinion that many females would view it from a "off the availability list" perspective.

As for my approach...I try to do whatever makes me appear to be the "smallest fish in the fishbowl". (blend in with the carpet, lol).

:love:

[Erika_bagels]

Very true, eluuzion. I'm guilty of trolling all the time. When I go out with the wife, we play a game called "your team". You can only recruit members for your friend's team. The goal is that they have a crummier team than you do. Point out someone ugly or strange, or with no fashion sense. "your team!" But she knows if she ever saw a crossdresser, I'd thank her for putting them on my team :D