How many of you have LGBT children

[SweetIonis]

I have been meaning to ask for sometime, how many people here have children that fall under the LGBT spectrum? When you found out, did you feel that possibly you had passed down some sort of gene?

[Marcia Blue]

My son Steve has admitted to being bi and tg. He told my wife about the bi-sexual thing in High School. I recently talked to him about the CDing, after seeing frilly underwear in his laundry. My wife feels it might be hereditary.

[Kaz]

None so far as I know... though they are all mad! All girls... :daydreaming:

[Melanie R]

My granddaughter told me yesterday that her 2 1/2 year old son, my great grandson, has asked her to put makeup on him. He also likes to walk around in her shoes. She told him he needs to go to his great grandfathers home to dress up with him. My granddaughter is totally accepting of Melanie including being a part of a documentary made on Melanie.

[SweetIonis]

Well I certainly have no proof, but deep down, I suspect there may be some sort of genetic component involved.

[Stephanie-L]

My stepdaughter is a lesbian, so obviously no genetic connection there. I do suspect that her sexuallity is at least partly linked to some traumatic events in her life, but only she knows if anyone does.............Stephanie

[Amanda Katharine]

I'll take this a little farther and ask would anyone actually want their kids to follow our lifestyle. I don't have any living children(but will try again in the future) and if I had a son I don't know if it would ever be a case like "girls night in" with me and my son. Make no mistake though, I would fully accept my kids being LGBT of any kind and would also be perfectly open to my child bringing a same sex date to my house, I just don't know how comfortable I'd be with my son and I both dressed.

[Intertwined]

I have a 28 year old daughter who lives at home, and I am not sure, she has never had a Real boy-friend, or girl-friend that I know of. She is very much the Tomboy at times, but, on rare occations, looks very feminine...

[Melody Moore]

My wife feels it might be hereditary.
Your wife might be right about this ;)

I was born intersex & have identified myself to my partners as a lesbian even when I was still living as a male
I was also very lucky to even be able have kids apparently, but I know that both my daughters are bisexual &
my son I am not too sure about, but he is definitely androgynous & could dress up & pass very well as a female.


My stepdaughter is a lesbian, so obviously no genetic connection there. I do suspect that her sexuallity is at least partly linked to some traumatic events in her life, but only she knows if anyone does.............Stephanie
I doubt it very much that environmental factors have played any part in this, considering that there is
more evidence that our sexual orientations & gender identities are determined before we are even born.

See: http://shb-info.org/sexbrain.html

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I have a daughter that came out to us as lesbian, but she has also had boyfriends, so IDK.

Nature VS Nurture?

Until it can be proven conclusively and be repeatable, I'm not gonna jump into either camp.

[Cynthia Anne]

I have a son I suspect of cding! I have a grandson at eight years that doed cd! Don't know if it is a gene!

[SweetIonis]

My son Steve has admitted to being bi and tg. He told my wife about the bi-sexual thing in High School. I recently talked to him about the CDing, after seeing frilly underwear in his laundry. My wife feels it might be hereditary.

Whether or not it's hereditary is certainly a good question. I have no solid proof, but personally I'm inclined to believe there is some sort of connection.

I guess the next questions are, do you or others close to you feel it's a problem, and if so do you or others blame you for it. I suppose that could create some interesting scenarios. And it just hit me, if you blame yourself, does that have any effect on your own crossdressing. Does it make you want to do it more, to relieve the stress, or does the guilt dampen your enthusiam?

Just some interesting questions. Not trying to imply anything so there is no need for anyone to take offense.

[Melody Moore]

SweetIonis,

First of all, while I know you never raised this issue, I feel that something also needs to be said here
because I know there are kids out there that do tend to blame their parents for being gay or bisexual
whether it is repressed or not. My youngest daughter who is openly bisexual made a comment on her
twitter account, saying "My dad's a freak in a frock, It's really no wonder I'm a chip off the ol' block".
So it is obviously my daughter is blaming me right here for being the way that she is.

I don't believe that anyone should inherit someone else's psychological issues no matter who they
are, son, daughter or otherwise, because anyone with an issue can only deal with that themselves.

And do I blame myself for how my kids are? Definitely not! Being LGBT is an act of nature itself
& has nothing to do with any type of social conditioning. Both my daughters are born to two separate
mothers and ironically both of them are also bisexual. So it is not fair to blame me or accept any type
of responsibility for the way they are when there is so many genetic factors & other dynamics going
on here that we don't really understand.

The sexual orientations of my children have no bearing now on my decision to transition. All my kids
are now adults and should be taking responsibility for themselves instead of trying to blame others
like my youngest daughter has done here. I kept my issues repressed until she was 18 years old
because I didn't want to have any of that affect them, or make them the subject of any sort of
abuse, discrimination or vilification for having a transsexual 'father'. They also announced their
sexuality to the world well before I did - so their cannot be any connection whatsoever to me
through any sort of social conditioning for the way they are - this is why I believe that genetic
biological factors are now coming into play - my own son claims to be 'normal', but so too did I
for many years - he is very androgynous in his physical appearance & as I said you could put
him in female clothes and people would assume he was a natal female no problem at all. So it
will be interesting to see what happens in the future but it will come as no surprise to me if he
turns out to be transsexual. Not that I am wanting him to be this way, but if that did happen
then I will be able to help him deal with these issues. Hopefully my coming out will encourage
him to stop repressing any issues that he might have. And I do believe there are some issues
there because of other behavioural problems, but it is too early to tell at this stage. But he
seems to be trying to prove himself to be a 'real man' just like I did so many years ago.

[Vickie_CDTV]

It is an interesting question, and while mostly academic (the few women who have ever been interested in me were long barren) it is something I have given thought to. With one possible exception, and it is just speculation, I have a cousin who may be a lesbian, but other than that no one else in either side of my family is GLB or T. Mental illness runs very deep on both sides of my family, and my mother and father's siblings all suffered physical abuse growing up (as did my mother's mother), brutal enough the victimizing parent in each case would probably end up in prison today. While I would be concerned about passing on a "transvestism gene", I would be far more concerned about passing on some sort of genetic mental illness(es).

When I think back, It was around the time my father started beating on me (~4yo) I started to show some leanings toward transvestism. Was it caused by brain trauma from being hit? Was it because I was starting to identify with my mother and had no positive male role model? Perhaps it was caused by a lack certain nutrient(s) in utero caused by my mother's anorexia? Perhaps a bit of all of them, since there is no known cases of TV/TSism in their families I can't image it was genetic.

[SweetIonis]

Well thanks for the interesting discussion. I'm still kind of pondering all this. Hopefully I will have some more to say later.

[Kristy_K]

My older brother and oldest son are CD. My youngest brother doesn't

[ReineD]

I believe it has something to do with genetics or biological influences as well. Twin studies help determine the importance of heredity vs. the environment and according to a 2008 article in Psychology Today, twins reared apart are eerily similar:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-minds/200810/straight-talk-about-twin-studies-genes-and-parenting-what-makes-us-who-w

[Schatten Lupus]

I don't have any kids, but I strongly suspect my nephew (technically my half-sister's oldest son, but my family disregards the "half" thing) falls somewhere under the TG spectrum. When he was very young, he used to insist he was a girl and would have his older sister dress him up, put make up on him, and paint his nails. He was very young then, and since that isn't too uncommon for boys to do and then outgrow I forgot all about. And then one day he offered to teach my girlfriend how to walk in four in heels, he put a picture of himself wearing one of his girlfriend's sweaters, and he has the hyper-masculinity to boot. My niece has even told me she thinks there is something weird about him.
But if I end up having a GLBT kid, I wouldn't mind and I would be fully supportive. And I would hope that I would have a good enough relationship with my kids that they would be open with something like that, or any thing else for that matter. And one of my friends so badly wanted a girl with her kid, it kinda seems that she just wouldn't be supportive, she kinda hopes for it.

[TSchapes]

In 2008 my son walked in on me while I was dressed. He was 15 at the time. It was one of those WTF moments. My wife was none too amused. However...


I have been meaning to ask for sometime, how many people here have children that fall under the LGBT spectrum?

Directly after this episode, our son came out as gay.


When you found out, did you feel that possibly you had passed down some sort of gene?

No, I don't blame myself, for his orientation. There is nothing to be ashamed about, I love my son just as much now as before. No difference.

If you are asking is there proof of nature or nurture, I have seen anecdotal evidence of both, but nothing conclusive.

-Tracy

[SweetIonis]

I believe it has something to do with genetics or biological influences as well. Twin studies help determine the importance of heredity vs. the environment and according to a 2008 article in Psychology Today, twins reared apart are eerily similar:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-minds/200810/straight-talk-about-twin-studies-genes-and-parenting-what-makes-us-who-w

What you are born with certainly has a lot to do with it. But environment and how you react to it plays a role as well. Just like among serious musicians, while all of them have more inherent ability than the average person, I have seen a person who consistently puts in quite a bit of hard work, combined with superior training, may come to a point, after some time, of being better than someone with more inherent ability, assuming of course that the person with more ability is not so driven to work at it and/or has inferior training.

Now how that relates to this subject. I know that inherently I must have been TG to some degree. The feeling I got when I first put on some panties, and even what made me want to do it in the first place didn't come from the environment. The feeling sure didn't, because there was nothing I had ever experienced even remotely like that. But I would say that my experience is probably just a component of what someone who from the very onset feels like they are totally a female in a male body. Now environment certainly has an effect, because it can cause certain things to come out. Like I said in another thread, other than putting on a pair of panties on rare occasions, I had no desire to dress or feel like a woman. However, I saw some very attractive TS/CD. It bought out some pretty intense feelings in me. Seeing them made me want to dress up. When I started to dress up, I just got deeper and deeper into it. Now I'm sure what I feel was there all along. However, there is no doubt, it took stimulus from the environment to bring it out. If that or something similar from the environment had not happened, I could have gone my whole life without it ever progressing any further. Furthermore, this stuff is really based on our desires, and the things we desire can be conditioned with some effort.

But back to the original subject, people like us could find themselves in an awkward position if they have LGBT children. I think in some circumstances it might have the effect of dampening a person's enthusiasm for engaging in such behavior. Then on the other hand it could provide reinforcement. Let's suppose that the child was very open and having a very positive experience. It might cause the parent to want to become more open, which could lead to the behavior becoming more intense.

[Schatten Lupus]

What you are born with certainly has a lot to do with it. But environment and how you react to it plays a role as well. Just like among serious musicians, while all of them have more inherent ability than the average person, I have seen a person who consistently puts in quite a bit of hard work, combined with superior training, may come to a point, after some time, of being better than someone with more inherent ability, assuming of course that the person with more ability is not so driven to work at it and/or has inferior training.
According to all my psychology books, and most research I have read, the question isn't nature or nurture, but to what degree each plays. One of my teachers, who has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology (she even does gender therapy) explained it that biology lays the ground work for what can be, but the environment has to work to nurture biology to it's potential or not. The example she was was intelligence, in that your genes can give the potential to be a super-genius, but if your environment does not work to develop that, it won't happen. And of course your example of someone having the dedication to succeed as a musician and putting in the training and practice can be as good as someone who has it natural. But then again, there are some disorders such as savant disorder in which someone will be so good at something they will far surpass anyone else in their area of interest.

[JuliaKay]

Have a gay son and lesbian granddaughter.

[Karren H]

Our son is gay.... Came out in high school. He doesn't know about me... And is the most unfeminine person in the world! Lol.

[SweetIonis]

Our son is gay.... Came out in high school. He doesn't know about me... And is the most unfeminine person in the world! Lol.

I thought you had said that before. But I wasn't sure.

[BLUE ORCHID]

So far a wife two daughters , a grandaughterand two son-inlaws everybody seams normal.

Orchid

[Heather J]

My Daughter came out to us as being Gay in high school but later amended that to being Bi (now married to a man) My son is Gay and was in an LTR for almost 5 years. Broke up with his friend and now lives at home. He's seen me dressed and doesn't seem to have a problem with it. (Or at lest hasn't saud anything about it)

Heather J.

[Tina B.]

No, I'm the only one in the family as far as I know, but then the rest of them would tell you there are none in the family, sometimes we just can't know the answer to that question. It's called being deep in the closet, and many of us are, even to the rest of the family.
Tina B.

[Barbara B]

Our son is gay, seems to have some chip on his shoulder, and as far as I'm aware doesn't know about me.

[Starling]

In 2008 my son walked in on me while I was dressed...Directly after this episode, our son came out as gay...

Tracy, maybe your son came out right after seeing you dressed because he was already dying to tell you, and was relieved to discover that his mom and dad would almost certainly be accepting. This could be true regardless of any angry words from him.

:) Lallie

[steph1964]

My 18 year old son is Bi or maybe gay. Since he came out he has only dated other males. His friends, all girls, recently posted a picture of him dressed up on facebook, but he quickly had them take it down. We recently found a dress in his room, that he said was his friends, and he left a sports bra while house sitting for my sister in law. Again he said it belonged to a friend. My wife and I have made it clear that we are accepting but he hasn't admitted to any crossdressing. He doesn't know about me.

When I found out my son was bi, my concern was for his safety. I would be supportive if he were a crossdresser but hope that he isn't. Although the world is a lot more accepting than when I was 18, there is still a long way to go.

[SweetIonis]

I had a thought yesterday.

A lesbian mother transfers her genetic material to a son. If it becomes active, the son becomes a MtoF transsexual lesbian.

A gay father transfers his genetic material to a daughter. If it becomes active, the daughter becomes a FtoM transsexual gay man.

Just a thought.

I hope I don't get put in jail by the police for it! :heehee:

[RachelOKC]

For those of you who are "accepting" of your GLBT kids but not out to them yourself, why not? What makes it ok for them to be out to you, but not for you to be out to them?

[steph1964]

For those of you who are "accepting" of your GLBT kids but not out to them yourself, why not? What makes it ok for them to be out to you, but not for you to be out to them?

For me there are several reasons, not that any are good reasons.

1. My son's life is full of drama right now and everything is a big deal to him. I think that he is trying to come to terms with his sexuality and is living an emotional roller coaster, not that he will share anything with his parents. I think that he needs to become comfortable with himself before being exposed to a crossdressing dad.

2. My son wears his heart on his sleeve, and on facebook. He tells his friends everything. Being a typical teenager he can be mature and loving one minute, and hate our guts the next. I am in the closet to everyone other than my wife and think that there is a good chance he would tell someone, thinking they would keep the secret. When he first decided he was bi, he didn't want everyone to know because he was in high school, but told several of his friends because "they wouldn't tell anyone." He didn't understand how everyone knew.

3. My ego...I know this is a bad reason but I'm just now beginning to accept this myself, so I don't want my son to think of me as a crossdresser.

4. My wife has been very supportive since she found out, but she is not comfortable with anyone else finding out, including my sons.

On the plus side, it would be a lot easier to find time to dress if I didn't have to hide it from my sons, who both still live at home.

[DebbieL]

My father was transgendered - he said he was 75% feminine. I'm more like 95%. My son is very gentle, thin, and loves soft fabrics and bright colors, and has a wife who is a bit masculine. He knows I'm transgendered, but hasn't really expressed an interest or issue with his own identity. But then again, he was raised by his hairy stepfather and my wife liked to wear plaid flannel lumberjack shirts and corduroy pants, and very short hair. On a good day she looked like a 12 year old boy. Later she looked more like a 60 year old man. She's about 52 now.

My daughter and her husband are more flexible when it comes to gender roles. Sometimes she's the man and he's the girl, and other times she's very girly and he's the GI-Joe. It's great that they can have that flexibility with each other.

I'm glad I was honest with both of my kids, it gave them the freedom to be themselves, and to be open to partners who enjoyed expressing a wide range of gender roles and identities. I think both of them are more happily married as a result.

[Christa]

I'm gay, but both of my parents are straight. Go figure.

;-)

[SweetIonis]

My father was transgendered - he said he was 75% feminine. I'm more like 95%.

Wow, that's far out. Did you know about it all along, or did he tell you after you grew up a bit. How did you feel when you found out?

[linda's angel]

have a 23 yr. old son that acts gay although i have never seen him with a guy or a girl for that matter,i had a talk with him about 3 years ago it was the hardest thing i ever did, it was more hard on my my part than him i was crying telling him that i love him and he told me "dad i am not even sure" and yes all my kids know about me although i don't dress around them. so i wonder too if it is in the genes.

[JenniferR771]

I feel that it is almost impossible for a gay gene to exist. Gay men seldom have children. So if there ever was a gay gene, it would have disappeared within a few generations. The gay gene would have dropped out of the human population thousands of years ago.

My children are straight (so far).

Does anyone think that crossdressers have more children? (Thereby passing on their genes more efficiently?)

[Barbara Dugan]

I feel that it is almost impossible for a gay gene to exist. Gay men seldom have children.

I doubt it too...but I have brother who is also Gay while both of my parents are straight, go figure.

[RachelOKC]

I feel that it is almost impossible for a gay gene to exist. Gay men seldom have children.

I can't say how scientifically sound this statement is, but it sure looks, sounds, and smells like a stereotype.

I can say with certainty that I know plenty of GLBT parents (not just men!) who would roll their eyes at it. There's a lot of parents out there who tried living straight and normal because that's what the world wanted - and in a lot of cases, still wants. What did they do? They got married. They had kids. They lived seemingly hetero lives until they just couldn't do it anymore and finally came out as gay. And those are just the ones you know about. I'm sure there are untold thousands or even millions more who remain closeted because they don't see a way out. That's not even counting those who have always been out as gay who still choose to have kids. There's a lot of them too and you might be surprised at how conventionally some of them make babies.

I am most certainly bisexual (as is my wife) and we reproduced. I dunno if there's a "gay" gene or not, but if there is, I believe there is there's no shortage of us passing it along. ;)

[babs816 GG]

I'm a bisexual GG with a CD SO and a gay son.

B

[ReineD]

I feel that it is almost impossible for a gay gene to exist. Gay men seldom have children.

That's not true. Gay men can and do have sex with women in order to have kids. Up until the last 30-40 years or so, being married to a GG was a great way to hide under cover for being gay and I think this has been true throughout time, save a few blimps in cultural history here and there where being homosexual was not vilified.

[CatAttack]

I don't have any kids, but on the other end of the spectrum, I suspect that my dad is gay. This is based on many things I've noticed over the years. For example, when I was like 12 or so, I found gay porn stashed in the bonus room of our house.. I'm an only child and I'm 99.9999% sure that it wasn't my mom's. I told him that I found it, and he gave me a talk about how what was depicted in the video was not how people should behave. It was pretty awkward lol

But it doesn't like bother me or anything. I don't care whether he's gay or not. He's still my dad!

[lexicd89]

My mother had other kids before she met and married my dad and me and my sisters didn't know of their exsistance until receiving a phone call in the night telling us one of them had died after that I found out I had an older brother well before that time I had started cross dressing. Well I got caught with my stash by my mother and she sat me down and implied that it was normal and that my brother I had never met was also a cross dresser and gay. I haven't talked to him about it but maybe one day. Long story short we had a common ground with cd ing while never being influenced the same
Lexi