RachelDee
08-20-2011, 12:08 PM
So, after a bit of a delay (due to the unfortunate rioting in London) and a bit of extra expense I finally got to attend my latest appointment at the clinic on Thursday (18th).
I stuck to what I said I was going to do, I wore my female Jeans - low cut top, bra, pink hooded jacket type thing, a cap, trainers (also with pink splashs) and I took a small nike shoulder/man bag thing (loos like a black sporty handbag).
I bought a magazine to read on the train going down (cosmo! lol - its good im going to subscribe :heehee:). It rained a lot while I was there (which probably helped me feel more comfortable as I knew people would care more about the rain than me lol). But the biggest surprise was that I encountered no problems at all - and I did not feel uncomfortable! I actually felt an odd sense of confidence. I walked tall and went to my appointment (via Taxi) but also took public transport (bus) on the way to and back from the Train Station.
There were a few moments of uncomfortable-ness, such as at the bus stop on the way home (so it was night time but in lit station). A young kid sat down next to me, baggy jeans etc after coming from a bigger group of his friends. I kept thinking he was going to (at some point) lean over to me and say something rude. But he didnt, infact really the majority of people couldnt care less/didnt pay me a second look. On the train home, there was a young man who kept looking over at me with interest - wasnt sure if it was just my imagination or not (I am going to assume he was trying to work out what was going on with me). But I didnt let it bother me, he didnt say anything or stare when I looked back so.
In a shop, a heard a sales assistant ask if I needed any help, so I looked round and said no im ok thanks. Now I am wearing a baseball cap, so the cap part covers my face when my head is down/tilted and im looking at stuff. The look on his face lol..... lets just say I do not think I was what he was expecting to be under the cap.
Other than that, to be honest I surprised myself at how little I could care what other people were doing or thought. I did not feel like a boy in girls clothes. I felt like a girl in girls clothes..... which is not something I would have ever thought I would say. I mean I was not exactly looking my best - no makeup, I had shaved but you can still see the dots on my chin etc. My eye brows are not very feminine (need to have them done though soon!). But its probably the best I had ever felt outdoors in my life & hopefully its not a feeling that I will struggle to recapture.
In terms of my appointment itself, he was pleased with my blood test results for T (as it had more than halved in 3 months). But noted my Estrogen levels were not that high (going up from 76 to only 129), though I had said I have had some significant (as in you can see) breast growth and nipple changes. Not tons (im AA at best) but still....
I had anti-androgens in mind to solve this, but he commented that in his experience anti-androgens are not always best. He said my T levels had dropped a lot, and that anti-androgens - because of how they work - can actually hamper the feminising effects of estrogen (I was not aware of this?). Instead he suggested we doubled my current HRT dosage. So I am now on two patches (Estradot 100) instead of one. He remarked again that my voice was probably my biggest hurdle, he said the 'package' in general should be quite passable (though he was likley just being nice) and that my smaller size should help me feminize quite well. Funny thing is that I had to measure and stuff to get my size! But he said at a glance "You are about a size 10 arent you?" lol...... anyway I am hopeful that my doubling of the patches will bring me some more changes.
He also explained that my levels could well have been lower before the blood test, as your levels tend to spike and then come down as your body deals with the extra estrogen. Eventually though he said it wont be able to get rid of it/manage it. So roll on that day! :)
Anyway all in all it was a really positive day. It's inspired me to speed up the dumping of my male clothes with female ones. Well as soon as funds permit me, I think I need more than one look! and dispite my success and how much I want to I know I am not ready for full on dress's/leggings etc (even though I have bought some).
Thanks for all the support people have offered over the months (years even) ^_^
EDIT: Oh attached a pic of me just before I went =] wanted a souvenir hehe.
I stuck to what I said I was going to do, I wore my female Jeans - low cut top, bra, pink hooded jacket type thing, a cap, trainers (also with pink splashs) and I took a small nike shoulder/man bag thing (loos like a black sporty handbag).
I bought a magazine to read on the train going down (cosmo! lol - its good im going to subscribe :heehee:). It rained a lot while I was there (which probably helped me feel more comfortable as I knew people would care more about the rain than me lol). But the biggest surprise was that I encountered no problems at all - and I did not feel uncomfortable! I actually felt an odd sense of confidence. I walked tall and went to my appointment (via Taxi) but also took public transport (bus) on the way to and back from the Train Station.
There were a few moments of uncomfortable-ness, such as at the bus stop on the way home (so it was night time but in lit station). A young kid sat down next to me, baggy jeans etc after coming from a bigger group of his friends. I kept thinking he was going to (at some point) lean over to me and say something rude. But he didnt, infact really the majority of people couldnt care less/didnt pay me a second look. On the train home, there was a young man who kept looking over at me with interest - wasnt sure if it was just my imagination or not (I am going to assume he was trying to work out what was going on with me). But I didnt let it bother me, he didnt say anything or stare when I looked back so.
In a shop, a heard a sales assistant ask if I needed any help, so I looked round and said no im ok thanks. Now I am wearing a baseball cap, so the cap part covers my face when my head is down/tilted and im looking at stuff. The look on his face lol..... lets just say I do not think I was what he was expecting to be under the cap.
Other than that, to be honest I surprised myself at how little I could care what other people were doing or thought. I did not feel like a boy in girls clothes. I felt like a girl in girls clothes..... which is not something I would have ever thought I would say. I mean I was not exactly looking my best - no makeup, I had shaved but you can still see the dots on my chin etc. My eye brows are not very feminine (need to have them done though soon!). But its probably the best I had ever felt outdoors in my life & hopefully its not a feeling that I will struggle to recapture.
In terms of my appointment itself, he was pleased with my blood test results for T (as it had more than halved in 3 months). But noted my Estrogen levels were not that high (going up from 76 to only 129), though I had said I have had some significant (as in you can see) breast growth and nipple changes. Not tons (im AA at best) but still....
I had anti-androgens in mind to solve this, but he commented that in his experience anti-androgens are not always best. He said my T levels had dropped a lot, and that anti-androgens - because of how they work - can actually hamper the feminising effects of estrogen (I was not aware of this?). Instead he suggested we doubled my current HRT dosage. So I am now on two patches (Estradot 100) instead of one. He remarked again that my voice was probably my biggest hurdle, he said the 'package' in general should be quite passable (though he was likley just being nice) and that my smaller size should help me feminize quite well. Funny thing is that I had to measure and stuff to get my size! But he said at a glance "You are about a size 10 arent you?" lol...... anyway I am hopeful that my doubling of the patches will bring me some more changes.
He also explained that my levels could well have been lower before the blood test, as your levels tend to spike and then come down as your body deals with the extra estrogen. Eventually though he said it wont be able to get rid of it/manage it. So roll on that day! :)
Anyway all in all it was a really positive day. It's inspired me to speed up the dumping of my male clothes with female ones. Well as soon as funds permit me, I think I need more than one look! and dispite my success and how much I want to I know I am not ready for full on dress's/leggings etc (even though I have bought some).
Thanks for all the support people have offered over the months (years even) ^_^
EDIT: Oh attached a pic of me just before I went =] wanted a souvenir hehe.