Is there a role in society for retired males

[Kate T]

Over the last couple of nights I've had the opportunity to do some deep thinking thanks to my son having dodgy sleep!

Something I was thinking about the other day was the apparent trend for transgender MTF to more commonly live full time as women when retired than before.

I think there are a number of factors contributing to this, most notably the fact that despite antidiscrimination laws and gender policies in large organisations, it is still very difficult for a transgender person to work as anything other than their birth sex. I believe that for family reasons it is difficult for a transgender person to present as their chosen or desired gender at any particular point particularly when they have children at home.

I wonder if another reason may be a lack of any social role for men after retirement. Within our society a retired man is often regarded as at best self concerned and at worst a liability. I'm sure we have all heard the comment from friends or relatives "Dave can't retire, he would drive his wife mad."! The success of the "mens shed" movement in Australia I think is another symptom of this social isolation of retired men (NB I think mens sheds are great and are not only a symptom but also a treatment for the problem). Is an increase in transgender feelings and activities due not only to opportunity but also to a need to belong and feel wanted. Is it easier for a retired women to have social contacts and also family commitments or involvement (it is still rare to ask for "grandpa" to mind the kids) and is it a wanting to be needed that may drive a feeling of wanting to take on more feminine characteristics?

Of course I could just be talking complete and utter nonsense!

Adina

[sissystephanie]

I believe there is definitely a role for retired males. The problem is that many retired males don't seem to want a role in life anymore after they retire!! At my advanced age I know many retired males,and a lot of them do as little as possible in any day. I do think crossdressers have an advantage, because dressing properly is a job in itself!! And it certainly is fun!! That is why I do it!! Of course I still haven't retired, although I am well past the age!! Men can find plenty of things to do after retirement if they are so inclined!

[Kaitlyn26]

Men have no role after retirement? That's a laughable statement. My grandpa retired from the military after 20 years of service and got a job in civil service as a mechanic for another 20some years. That alone makes him a busy man for one that's technically retired.

When he finally retired from that he moved to the mountains to try and get away from it all. As an avid hunter his entire life it wasn't long before he hooked up with the local hunting group. The first thing he did as one of the local hunters is purchase an ATV. All the hunters had them and it was pretty much mandatory to get one if wanted to hunt with the group. So he hunted 6 days a week in the winter and rode his ATV for fun in the summer.

It wasn't long before the other hunters found out he was an ex-mechanic with plenty of experience at fixing motorcycles (mechanically similar to ATVs). So he began to fix the ATVs for the other hunters for not much of any payment, just to keep busy and keep them hunting. At one point he had proclaimed his little garage the ATV shack, and had ATVs stacked up outside waiting for repairs that he did for free or for favors. He took his time, did them right, and kept busy.

He also had 10 acres of land to keep up with. He mowed, fixed, and generally kept busy around his house whenever things got slow or even struggled to keep the place up when things got busy.

Overall he was a very busy retired man. At one point he figured up that if he counted all the work his was doing, that he was actually pulling a 50 hour week. Although he admits that he was moving at his own pace. So all in all I think retirement is what you make of it. He was the busiest 65 year old I've known, and he didn't have to look very hard to find something to do. He just made friends and used his skills to help them. In return he had a large group of friends and was always busy doing something.

He enjoyed himself very much. He had always wanted to work for himself. When he woke up every morning and put on his same shiny Dickie's work shoes and jeans/t-shirt that he had worn for years at his job, he felt like it was what he always wanted. I guess it really was, because he was more than financially secure thanks to his retirement and very cheap living cost. It may sound like Forest Gump, but what the hell do you need to charge people for when they can't pay you to begin with, and you can afford pretty much anything you want?

I think the real question is, do retired women have a role in society? My aunt, a 30 years veteran at management seems to be walking around trying to manage everyone around her. She has no desirable skills for practical use and hasn't made a friend yet. She's quickly pushing her family away and appears to be miserable. No hobbies, no friends, husband can't stand her anymore, old friends from work stopped speaking, can't make new friends to save her life. Maybe it's what you make it?

[kimdl93]

In a word, no. More of us choose to dress full time because we have the freedom to do so.

As for the role of retired men in society, this is a non-issue. Men (and women) can have a role in society, post retirement, if they choose to. There are plenty of things to do. I have a retired brother and sister who are busier now than either was before retirement.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I agree that opportunity earlier in life does play a part in the inability to be ones self. I think you may be missing that the retired persons you are speaking of have always been to some degree a cross-dresser or transgendered, it is now only with opportunity that they have actually been able to act on their true identity.

[hein George]

Retired males, even do not get any job after retirement they may even take part in social activities, and also share their great experiences to the youngsters to make them help in decisions.

[Karren H]

When I retire I want to be a Walmart Greeter!!

[Kaitlyn26]

When I retire I want to be a Walmart Greeter!!

"Hey you need a buggy?"

[Diane Elizabeth]

I will never retire. Have too many bills to pay and grown (step) kids to support. So with the economy the way it is there is no way I can ever retire and support myself. And that is after I retired from the military of 20 years.

[Sarah Doepner]

The down economy was responsible for my move into retirement, a couple of years before I'd planned to. I don't know where I ever found the time to go to work. Even if I were not a nearly full-time caregiver for my wife, there are plenty of options out there to stay busy and involved both in family and in the community. While I do enjoy the expanded time in which I can crossdress now, it's still an activity that's limited by other obligations and choices. There always seems to be a demand for volunteers, if you just want to get involved. Social service agencies, hospitals, non-profits and schools always seem to be asking for a few hours of help. Since women seem to volunteer more often than men, these groups are always seem to be looking for males. Of course these activities, while providing a chance for social interaction and some way to make a contribution usually don't pay anything.

The biggest restriction on the role of retired males in our society is the lack of jobs for those who want to work and supplement their income. The job market is tight as it is, but being a retired person with a "wealth of experience" seems to equate to "more expensive and less flexible" in the eyes of many employeers. Until some of that changes, I'll just try to work on my makeup skills.

[Kaz]

Hey, I live in the UK... the downside in the economy means fewer jobs, it also means we have to work longer before we get our pensions... retirement is now officially over for the vast majority of Brits! It is now called unemployment!

But, yeah... more freedom to cross-dress, if you can afford the clothes... oh yeah, and the make-up... and the razors to keep you smooth, and and and... :sad:

[Karren H]

"Hey you need a buggy?"

I was thinking about expanding the greeter role... "Would you like help with a free bra fitting". :)

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and its not a train... Both kids are out of school.. Both have good jobs. I have no debt... I have beat all my financial goals... But the company doesn't want me to go yet and my wife can't put up with me for more that 2 days in a row.. So I think I'll keep doing what I have done for the last 35 years...

[Kaitlyn26]

Hey, I live in the UK... the downside in the economy means fewer jobs, it also means we have to work longer before we get our pensions... retirement is now officially over for the vast majority of Brits! It is now called unemployment!

But, yeah... more freedom to cross-dress, if you can afford the clothes... oh yeah, and the make-up... and the razors to keep you smooth, and and and... :sad:

I work with a 75 year old man. Retirement always was and always has been a gimmick. If you're lucky it's ten years of aches and pains before you croak. If you're unlucky it's that plus about ten or twenty of not remembering who the people are that keep calling you grandpa or grandma. The worst of situations is being 75 and still working to support yourself. It's sad but it's true that a lot of Americans can't make it on SSI and military pension. Granted he only has to work 3 days a week to make ends meet but geez at 75 you'd think he has earned a rest!


I was thinking about expanding the greeter role... "Would you like help with a free bra fitting". :)


No thanks!

[Cassidy]

Sorry Karen the Walmart Greeter job is mine. that is my last aspiration as a salaried employee.

Seriously though when I walked away from 30 years of financial services I taught the motorcycle safety course in three different states at the same time and then went off to driving charter buses. I even got snagged into getting a charter bus trainer certification so I'm somewhat busy and with the charter work I can pretty much pick and choose how many days each week I work.

There is work out there however it depends on just how much one wants to work. I'm still a few years away from 100% social security and full pension from the financial services gig so what I do is sufficient to pay the electric and cable bill and the occasional evening gown.

Oh if the Walmart Gig doesn't unfold there's always Lowes or Home Depot

[Karren H]

Sorry Karen the Walmart Greeter job is mine. that is my last aspiration as a salaried employee.


Oh if the Walmart Gig doesn't unfold there's always Lowes or Home Depot

Fine.... I hear my local Victoria Secret may be hiring greeters!! :):):).

[Nikki A.]

It seems that only when our obligations to family and career are over do we seem to come out and accept who we are. There are plenty of retired men who live their lives and are happy.

[SuzanneBender]

An immortal line from the classic comedy Dumb and Dumber is appropriate here. "Old people although slow and dangerous behind the wheel still do serve a purpose. Don't ya go dyin on me now!"

There is a role, but there is also the opportunity for life change and retirement. I am not there yet, but its the start of the next chapter. Many of us let fate write the first few chapters in the book because we were not wise enough to write our own, but that next chapter will be penned by me. I was thinking about moving to Florida working for Disney and becoming a character. Think they would let me be Mini Mouse or Daisy Duck. I will be too old to be a Princess. Ohhhh wait, but an evil step mother or Cruella DeVille. Hmmmmmmm a gal can dream.

[ReineD]

Is an increase in transgender feelings and activities due not only to opportunity but also to a need to belong and feel wanted.

I don't know if social isolation would lead to an increase in transgender feelings, since they've always been there, but I can see lonely, retired CDs dressing more than they would if they were actively engaged in something else.

Thanks for posting this Adina. I think it was well thought out.

[Emily Ann Brown]

I have never thought about retirement. For me it is a time of working for myself (art, woodworking, cars )... SMILE. And being 24/6 and 20/1. And running into Karren with a buggy!!!

Em

[Jeannie]

When I retire I want to be a Walmart Greeter!!

A friend told me that I wouldn't be old enough for that job when I retired because I can still hear and I don't need a walker yet.

This is my favorite bumper sticker saying: Seek revenge live long enough to be a problem for your children.

[sometimes_miss]

I don't need a role. I understand why some people may need someone else to give them a feeling of importance, but I don't. When and if I retire, I'll do what I like to do. I'm lucky; I got to choose my job, and I do something I like doing, so as long as I'm physically able to do it, I will.

[Tess]

I don't know where I ever found the time to go to work. Even if I were not a nearly full-time caregiver for my wife, there are plenty of options out there to stay busy and involved both in family and in the community. While I do enjoy the expanded time in which I can crossdress now, it's still an activity that's limited by other obligations and choices. There always seems to be a demand for volunteers, if you just want to get involved. Social service agencies, hospitals, non-profits and schools always seem to be asking for a few hours of help. Since women seem to volunteer more often than men, these groups are always seem to be looking for males. Of course these activities, while providing a chance for social interaction and some way to make a contribution usually don't pay anything.

Sarah, I couldn't have said it better. My major purpose in retirement is caring for my wife but there is also our volunteer work, grandkids, my hobby, and travel. The only limiting factor is what my mind can conjure up for the next adventure.

[Phylis Nicole Schuyler]

Do you have a license to drive that buggy?

[Schatten Lupus]

There are plenty of roles for retired men, and women. It's just society, and even science studies, tend to ignore the ones who are happy, healthy, and are more than capable of living at home without assistance. Society tends to focus on the image of a feeble and senile old man, rather than how retired seniors tend to be big spenders and living it large (or at least before the recession). It's quite perplexing though how it seems my generation shuns the elderly while completely ignoring the fact that we too shall be old some day.

[eluuzion]

I am self-employed. I don't call it "retired", I call it "really-tired". lol

“Retirement” -
1) twice as much Crossdressing time, half as much money to buy dresses.
2) when one stops living at work and starts working at life.

:heehee:

Based upon my personal observations and experiences, we (society) have succeeded in convincing ourselves that life is one continuous ascent up some hierarchically tiered ladder that leads to happiness and self-fulfillment. Each rung (ambiguously categorized by age groups), represents some distinguishable stage of life containing measurable benchmarks we must master before proceeding up the ladder.

Somehow our physical age compared with our position on this ladder determines our “value to society” and ultimately our personal perception of our “self-worth“. With this philosophy, the concept of “happiness” and “self-fulfillment” is reduced to our success or failure in “fitting in” and meeting the expectations of the particular rungs of the ladder (“stage in life”) that coincide with our biological age.

Unfortunately if you buy off on that structured portrayal of life (as an upward journey of accumulating material wealth and benchmarks), you may end up disillusioned at retirement age. That stage is presumably reserved for enjoying the "fruits of your success" ...mostly material possessions earned by ascending to the top of the ladder. Many men end up seeking out what seems to be more of an innate trait for women (or used to be), the understanding that life is not about material possessions and achievements...it is about collecting memories.

At the end of your life, I think you either wind up with a cherished list of memories or that all too common list of things "you always wanted to do, but never took the time to do"
Memories of close relationships with other people. It is the only thing we get to take with us in the end.

That is why I never got on the ladder or followed many trampled paths. It never made much sense to me...and probably never will. :brolleyes:

But don't worry...Wal-Mart will think of something...lol

:love:

[julie w]

I am looking foward to being Julie a lot more when I retire no fear of being outed at work ,and more time to go to all the
TG events like Fantasia Fair and southern comfort ,

[Carla]

I retired a few months ago and now I dress everyday!! And I am still very busy. I do volunteer work, visit historical sites and museums during the week during the day when they are least busiest, and I have all kinds of projects to do around the house, take care of the garden and write a book (almost 100 pages so far!!!)

A role in society? Yes, my "role" is to be me and not to be a burden on society with my choises.

[kathie225]

When my wife and I retired we took up recycling in earnest. We became "recycled teeny boppers". With all our new found energy we burst upon the scene in a flurry of activity with friends, neighbors and grandkids that at once made us thankful for retiring lest we not have enough time to do all wwe wish to do. The down side is that those we associate with are as bad about social protocol that my dressing is as cicumvented as if I was still employed. Go figure

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Adina, My role as a retired male is to be the best Grand-Father a Grand-Daughter could ever have.
Everything else is secondary yes I mean Everything.

Orchid

[TxKimberly]

I dunno - my own retirement plan is to work until I drop dead of exhaustion. (And the way I'm going, that could be any day now!)

[Jorja]

Yes, retired men do have a role to play in our society. They piss off everyone before the day starts so nobody has a perfectly good day ruined otherwise.

[Carol Elizabeth]

"Yes, retired men do have a role to play in our society. They piss off everyone before the day starts so nobody has a perfectly good day ruined otherwise."

I can do that! Jorja. In fact, I started this morning as my wife went off to work. Life is good - I have a new purpose.

[Kate T]

Thankyou to everyone who replied.

Eluuzion, I read your post with great interest. I think there is a real tendency in society to have goals that are material based, particularly for males. And I agree with you that age is used as an arbitrary "marker" for when we should achieve these society set goals. I also agree that I think we would have happier lives if we cherished experience and relationships more than material posessions. Is that a feminine trait? Possibly.

To everyone else who posted. I have little doubt that all of you should have very happy retirements irrespective of how you are dressed or gender identified!

Thankyou again

Adina

[donnalee]

As far as ascending some figurative ladder, I guess I am a total failure. My pattern has been to find a career, do it until I get bored and then find a totally new one and start all over again. I always refer to my life as a careen rather than a career; the careers have average span of about 10 years. The only thing that remained with me was my partner and my music and she died on me a couple of months ago. I retired 2 years ago, a few years earlier than I had planned, but she needed care. Now I'm alone in the house we shared and am recovering slowly from the blow her death brought even though I knew it was coming. I'm trying to get out more, but it seems a lot of my friends are suffering. One lost his daughter a month ago and is raising her 2 children, another has cancer, another had a serious eye operation and is still recovering, another had a traffic accident and is disabled and that's just today. I'm almost scared to go out tomorrow.
Meanwhile I'm trying to work on the house, had 2 Dr.'s app'ts this week and have jury duty next week. It seems I can't not be busy, even if I don't want to.
As far as "Society's" roles, I couldn't care less.

[ReineD]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Donnalee.

:love:

[Alice B]

Hey. I'm retired from 3 different carrers. Suscessuul at all three and now busier than I ever was. It is all in your state of mind. My time as Alice is often limited due to all the things I am involved with, but retirement has not slowed Alice at all.

[TxKimberly]

Awe, I'm SO sorry Donnalee. . .

[Leslie Langford]

When I retire I want to be a Walmart Greeter!!

Nah, that's way too stressful! I'd opt for school zone crossing guard. :tongueout

[Misti]

Is there a role in society for retired males?

It's real simple, Adina. My grandfather's experience living as a complete vegatable for 20 years "simply because he no longer felt," and in his exact words to me before his stroke, "Needed, wanted or loved?", taught me life's true lesson: "Always have a Goal, Always have a Goal, Always have a goal. Retire and Die." :Angry3:

Simple really, and ain't it a laugh, I'm doing it now learning to CD? :battingeyelashes:

OMG I love it. OMG I love it. OMG I love it. See ya! :devil:

[Stephanie47]

When I retire I want to be a Walmart Greeter!!

You and I may be on the same wave length. I always use to joke about becoming a Wal-Mart greeter. Now, as a retiree with more than adequate income and no debt obligations, it would be 'un-American' to take away a job from someone who really needs one. So, I go about doing my manly retiree chores and volunteer work which take up a lot of time. I also do my womanly retiree chores, such as cooking, baking, laundry, ironing, washing, vacuuming, etc properly dress like June Cleaver or Harriet Nelson.

For those guys content to sit on their fat butts after retirement, their demise will come sooner than later. Inactivity leads to an early death. Too many pretty dresses to wear to check out early from life.

[SweetIonis]

I think this is a good question regardless of sex. In other words is their a role for older people in society? I think there is a very important role for older people in society. They are in a perfect position to offer their wisdom because of their advantage in terms of experience. ONE of the main reasons that a person will make a poor decision is because of lack of experience. Hence the saying once burned, twice shy. The problem is that people and society in general, have become so short sighted, that we don't place enough value on the wisdom that is the result of experience, and hence there is a problem in terms of what to do with people as they get older. This leads to issues such as the current debate around Social Security, etc.

[Kate T]

Are we exacerbating this problem with technology? Whereas once we would go to our elders (grandparents, parents, village elder, tribal wiseman) for guidance we now jump on the internet, google it, wiki it, blog it, post it on a forum.

My daughter the other day told me that email was too slow, message boards were much quicker to talk to her friends.

Blimey, I remember actually writing a letter to my wife when we were younger! Thats right, on paper, with a pen and posted in the mail!

[Jorja]

Are we exacerbating this problem with technology? Whereas once we would go to our elders (grandparents, parents, village elder, tribal wiseman) for guidance we now jump on the internet, google it, wiki it, blog it, post it on a forum.

My daughter the other day told me that email was too slow, message boards were much quicker to talk to her friends.

Blimey, I remember actually writing a letter to my wife when we were younger! Thats right, on paper, with a pen and posted in the mail!

OMG!!! Now you really are showing your age.:tongueout