thinking about this more and more

[Steph.TS]

my company has changed insurance companies and part of this impacted life insurance, well I noticed for the extended life insurance that I as a non-smoker male will pay more than a smoker female, and twice that that of a non-smoker female. it's upset me enough to give me determination to continue growing out my hair, and wear my clear matte nail polish whenever I want, and find a nutritionist to improve my diet and possibly improve my skin's appearance and decrease acne caused by greasy and fatty foods.

well everyone at work is glad I'm going to see a nutritionist (they don't know the full story of what's motivating me) because I'm known for have a bad diet it's been kind of a joke. I made a thread earlier about a woman at work that told me that men should be bigger than women, be more masculine etc... this has me thinking about this even more and it's actually quite depressing as she showed my BMI sites that me me to be under weight (150 lbs and 6'2") even though I think I look good at this weight, she wants me to eat more protein to build muscle mass and gain weight. I feel trapped in the male gender with this backwards thinking.

How am I going to move forward, how am I going to live my life when society is telling me I have to fit into the 'man' box to fit in with society?it's frustrating as I try to be friendly to everyone be accepting of everyone and trying to play by everyone's rules and this is the first real thing I'm doing for myself. My whole life I've hid myself behind technology with computers the the like now I want to stop hiding and be myself. what's odd is she claims to have several gay friends but is telling me I needs to be bigger, stronger and masculine to be a man, isn't the gay community breaking the rules of being a traditional man by avoiding the affections of women? why is it any different for me to avoid the male form for myself while moving towards a feminine form?

why does society have more hang ups about transsexuals than homosexuality? (I'm not saying anything bad about homosexuality just using it as an example as she is friendly towards gays but doesn't seem to understand me on this path).

[Diane Elizabeth]

I can understand what your puzzlement is about Steph. I wouldn't worry about your co worker's concept about guys being bulkier. Later if you come out to her she may or may not be accepting. Society is against us as a preconceived notion that it is wrong for a person to change gender. Some will quote script out of the Bible. My SO says it "not natural" to transition. Maybe someday it will be acceptab;e for one to change their gender. Just not today.

[boardpuppy]

Hi Steph, don't listen to your co-worker about her preconceaved notions about male build. From my prospective, what you feel inside of you is what counts, that will determine what/who you are.
Alice

[Jorja]

Steph, at your current weight do you feel tired or sickly? Does your doctor feel you are at an unsafe weight? Do you like the way you look? As long as you are not harming yourself by being underweight, you feel good, and you like your look, who is to say you need to put on weight? Go for the look you want as long as you do not go overboard and develop health issues. It is your body no one elses.

[ReineD]

Steph, if it was just a co-worker who was imposing her views of how a man "should" look on you, then you have every right to tell her to mind her own business.

But, if it is a nutritionist who has examined you and feels you are underweight for your height, I would see a doctor, explain who you are in terms of gender identity (and whether or not you are taking or doing anything to reduce muscle mass and/or weight), and have him examine you and do blood work on you to make sure you are not experiencing the symptoms that anyone who is underweight may risk getting, such as anemia, nutrient deficiencies, bone loss, compromised immune system, etc.

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:pci-o-oC7NgJ:www.dshs.wa.gov/word/adsa/ddd/LowWeight.doc+health+risks+of+being+underweight&hl=en&gl=us&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESiYndOo4pOrzodvXIPZ39iZ_0fZiEi6R_cQlK6W 1yczZARcZc0OTAT-inQr6hKfwclYa6KPgiJGW4Eo8-vhtXNfPLGgwynihfUeMJpe8mBhZ08erLPMRdBvRZXhqF52_qyS-Vps&sig=AHIEtbQcAZgqZOuzuaTX0m2Pkvs-QjxdAg

If on the other hand you hate being a guy and you want to move on from the "manbox", then it is up to you to follow the excellent advice here and start taking steps to undergo a medical transition even if it is through HRT for now and not SRS. You still will need to be monitored for blood pressure and other concerns to make sure that your body is the healthiest it can be as you begin HRT.

:2c:

[StephanieC]

Steph,

I wish you well with this. My SO happens to be a dietitian and I know firsthand how beneficial they can be. Recommendations can be tailored for specific health conditions so I encourage you to include those in the discussions.

-stephani

[Aprilrain]

a woman at work that told me that men should be bigger than women, be more masculine etc... this has me thinking about this even more and it's actually quite depressing as she showed my BMI sites that me me to be under weight (150 lbs and 6'2") even though I think I look good at this weight, she wants me to eat more protein to build muscle mass and gain weight. I feel trapped in the male gender with this backwards thinking.

How am I going to move forward, how am I going to live my life when society is telling me I have to fit into the 'man' box to fit in with society?it's frustrating as I try to be friendly to everyone be accepting of everyone and trying to play by everyone's rules and this is the first real thing I'm doing for myself.

First of all she is just some woman at work. Who is she to you, your mother? Second of all you aren't out so people are going to relate to you as a male Period. For them to do otherwise would be an insult to you in our society.

You won't be able to move forward as long as you still place YOUR PERCEPTION of what others want for you before what you want for you.

[Kaz]

Yeah.. all men should be 6' tall minimum, have great musculature, and be every woman's prince on a white horse! I realised a long time ago that I was never ever going to the perfect picture of a 'man'.

As to all the BMI crap... we all fit within a 'range' of differences. There is a 'mean' or 'average' and there are 'optimums' as in wouldn't it be nice to be rich, famous, loads of women... blah, blah... The insurance industry is geared to statistics... Statistically women live longer than men, therefore they will pay more premiums related to pay-outs... so extended insurance will be cheaper. Why do they live longer? This is a major question! The stat charts have been drawn up on historical data relating to a society that is different from the one we have now where women traditionally performed very different roles than men. This has been changing for all the right reasons, but we do know that this change in demographic profile is starting to pull into a change in medical presentations... so eventually the insurance premiums may change...

Sadly, we do not know how much nature and nurture are involved... genetically, women may just be preprogrammed to outlive men... in which case transitioning and TS will not save you! Nor get you reduced premiums!

A healthy diet and lifestyle though is always a good thing! This will help you live longer!