Nesreen
08-24-2011, 06:19 PM
Hello Friends!
This is my first post and I thought it would be appropriate to share with you beautiful creatures my own story since I just cannot simply share it with many people around here.
I was born in an extremely conservative society and I still can remember my "need" to dress in feminine clothes. I don't kid you when I tell even my most earliest memories I've ever had was me digging for feminine clothes. My whole childhood was filled with such feminine tendencies that were completely impulsive and out of necessity and curiousity but for some reason I never wanted anyone to see me in such state.
I grow up to learn that what I do is wrong and I've been living in denial for a long time. But at least an average of once every 6 months I get the "urge" to dress up or to unleash my inner female. Sometimes it explodes I go nuts looking for something... anything... like a thief I might even sneak into other belongings and play with things like make up if I get the rare occasion of being alone with an access to such treasures.
I still lived in denial I never though it was me I just thought it was just some random weird moments and it will pass and I was simply curious (which I was) but I wasn't only curious. This thing never left me.. never. It stuck with me and an average of at least once every few months I do get an URGE to go and seek something. So the idea comes to my mind frequently but sometimes I just cannot control myself.. completely out of control. Living in denial still.
Years later when I graduated form high school and after being accepted to study abroad I still never though I could be a Crossdresser (or Transvestite? I am freaking confused!). It took me while but when I was alone in the dormatory... I had to "borrow" some intimate clothes from someone.... I don't lie to you but I really had no control on myself, I was possessed... my female soul is SCREAMING inside.
For the first time in my life I am completely alone in a room without the feel of disturbance and all the people I know are miles and miles away. For the first time in my life I got a ticket of complete freedom and I set my self FREE.... and everything went so NATURAL. I was so feminine I even fell in love with myself. I was so feminine I was so surprised how good it felt and how natural it felt and how beautiful it looked.
It was beautiful but.... guess what? I still was living in denial. "No, it just evil thoughts coming to me again and I am just simply curious..."
It never ends. It never ends. It always come.
Finally... years later after graduation I got a decent job but during these "urges" that I get every once in awhile I thought "**** this, I'm buying feminine clothes..." and thanks to Online Shopping at that time it was much much easier. Just the moment I was purchasing my clothes I realized for the first time that this is me and this is what I want and that I could have been living in denial all these years.
But I always wanted, somehow, to end this "habit". I didn't like it, it felt "abnormal". It is considered by some people here as something "Evil". "What if I get caught" I was thinking... It's just too risky and too weird to keep feeding myself or accept that I enjoy this for real. I just didn't want to accept the fact that I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT.
Until one day my GF suggested if I want to Cross Dress for her. I couldn't breath when I heard her suggestion I almost had a heart attack.. I gasped (in a good way) I choked too because it was arousing, the idea was extremely arousing. I told her that I already have feminine clothes and for the first time I wasn't afraid to tell someone else about my "secret".
Now almost 6 years later. I am here wearing my feminine clothes with my wig and full make up. Enjoying my cup of coffee typing these words for all of you beautiful souls to read. I am a Crossdresser and I LOVE IT. Screw all those who would judge me and I tell them "judge me all you want I don't care because I am freaking loving it and **** you, you're missing a lot! you are missing A LOT! and hey.... I look HOT too!" :devil:
I just wanted to say that I love you all and just wanted to share my little story with you. :battingeyelashes:
Peace from the Middle East! (that's an oxymoron... but you know what I mean!)
This is my first post and I thought it would be appropriate to share with you beautiful creatures my own story since I just cannot simply share it with many people around here.
I was born in an extremely conservative society and I still can remember my "need" to dress in feminine clothes. I don't kid you when I tell even my most earliest memories I've ever had was me digging for feminine clothes. My whole childhood was filled with such feminine tendencies that were completely impulsive and out of necessity and curiousity but for some reason I never wanted anyone to see me in such state.
I grow up to learn that what I do is wrong and I've been living in denial for a long time. But at least an average of once every 6 months I get the "urge" to dress up or to unleash my inner female. Sometimes it explodes I go nuts looking for something... anything... like a thief I might even sneak into other belongings and play with things like make up if I get the rare occasion of being alone with an access to such treasures.
I still lived in denial I never though it was me I just thought it was just some random weird moments and it will pass and I was simply curious (which I was) but I wasn't only curious. This thing never left me.. never. It stuck with me and an average of at least once every few months I do get an URGE to go and seek something. So the idea comes to my mind frequently but sometimes I just cannot control myself.. completely out of control. Living in denial still.
Years later when I graduated form high school and after being accepted to study abroad I still never though I could be a Crossdresser (or Transvestite? I am freaking confused!). It took me while but when I was alone in the dormatory... I had to "borrow" some intimate clothes from someone.... I don't lie to you but I really had no control on myself, I was possessed... my female soul is SCREAMING inside.
For the first time in my life I am completely alone in a room without the feel of disturbance and all the people I know are miles and miles away. For the first time in my life I got a ticket of complete freedom and I set my self FREE.... and everything went so NATURAL. I was so feminine I even fell in love with myself. I was so feminine I was so surprised how good it felt and how natural it felt and how beautiful it looked.
It was beautiful but.... guess what? I still was living in denial. "No, it just evil thoughts coming to me again and I am just simply curious..."
It never ends. It never ends. It always come.
Finally... years later after graduation I got a decent job but during these "urges" that I get every once in awhile I thought "**** this, I'm buying feminine clothes..." and thanks to Online Shopping at that time it was much much easier. Just the moment I was purchasing my clothes I realized for the first time that this is me and this is what I want and that I could have been living in denial all these years.
But I always wanted, somehow, to end this "habit". I didn't like it, it felt "abnormal". It is considered by some people here as something "Evil". "What if I get caught" I was thinking... It's just too risky and too weird to keep feeding myself or accept that I enjoy this for real. I just didn't want to accept the fact that I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT.
Until one day my GF suggested if I want to Cross Dress for her. I couldn't breath when I heard her suggestion I almost had a heart attack.. I gasped (in a good way) I choked too because it was arousing, the idea was extremely arousing. I told her that I already have feminine clothes and for the first time I wasn't afraid to tell someone else about my "secret".
Now almost 6 years later. I am here wearing my feminine clothes with my wig and full make up. Enjoying my cup of coffee typing these words for all of you beautiful souls to read. I am a Crossdresser and I LOVE IT. Screw all those who would judge me and I tell them "judge me all you want I don't care because I am freaking loving it and **** you, you're missing a lot! you are missing A LOT! and hey.... I look HOT too!" :devil:
I just wanted to say that I love you all and just wanted to share my little story with you. :battingeyelashes:
Peace from the Middle East! (that's an oxymoron... but you know what I mean!)