Military Veteran CD

[Donna1]

Hello all, I am a military officer retired and a Iraqi War veteran. I have PTSD, and am seeing a counselor for last two years. Ever since I have come back from War, I have been wanting to dress up as a girl. I finally caved in and started closet dressing 6 months ago. I am so happier now, and my Girlfriend is very supportive.

My question. As a former military officer and many under my command, I have had to employ leadership and management in crisis. Is there any other Military officers or enlisted that have the same feeling of wanting to dress?

I am finding myself wanting to dress more and more too. I need pointers on how to put makeup on and really form my body. If anyone has any pointers please let me know!

Thank you!!!

[NathalieX66]

Hi Donna,
welcome to the forum. Thanks for your service, by the way.....You rule!

My advice is to watch and observe for a while.
We come from all walks of life. Sometimes it takes several years to understand ourselves. yes I do know several who have served in the military, and some i know as vets who saw action (and I won't mention names) , and a few who have transitioned.
We are all the same people in some way or another.

[Sheren Kelly]

Welcome to the forum...
You are in good company as there are many former (and active duty) members from several nations in this group. I am retired and began exploring my femme side when I took the uniform off. I will always be proud of my service (Desert Storm, or Gulf War I if you like) but opening up to my softer side has also been a rewarding experience.

There is a US organization for TransVets run by Monica Helms you may want to check out.

My advise is to take it slow and seeing that you are already working with a counselor, I think you have taken the appropriate steps on your journey of discovery.

[Donna1]

Hi Donna,
welcome to the forum. Thanks for your service, by the way.....You rule!

My advice is to watch and observe for a while.
We come from all walks of life. Sometimes it takes several years to understand ourselves. yes I do know several who have served in the military, and some i know as vets who saw action (and I won't mention names) , and a few who have transitioned.
We are all the same people in some way or another.

Thank you so much Nathalie!!! I appreciate you...OMG, you are so beautiful! I hope to be like that soon!!!! I want to be your friend too.

Donna

OK Kelly, thanks for all the info!!! I appreciate your service too!!!! I just want to be a girl...my desire is so strong!!! does that make sense?

[Sheren Kelly]

That's why those who have been around advise you to go slow and work with a counselor.
You are probably in "the pink fog" as you discover a whole new side of life. The pink fog can be a wonderful place, but it doesn't help you make rational decisions for the real world.

[VioletJourney]

The best advice I can give is that your PTSD and crossdressing are NOT related. Crossdressing is perfectly normal, healthy, and sane. Good luck with finding a therapist though! :bh:

[Donna1]

The best advice I can give is that your PTSD and crossdressing are NOT related. Crossdressing is perfectly normal, healthy, and sane. Good luck with finding a therapist though! :bh:

Violet, I understand... My desire is very strong, I just need to understand this better.. Btw.. Your cute and i am jellous!!!

[sissystephanie]

Donna, thank you for your service to our country!! I served in the Navy during the Korean War and I would have stayed in but my girlfriend said no way!! I started my crossdressing at age 6, which means that I was a crossdresser when I was in the Navy. Of course I could not dress at all while aboard ship, only when I was on leave. BTW, I am now 79 and yes I do still crossdress!! But I wear no makeup or wig because my dear late wife took care of those things for me!! so now I am just a guy in a skirt!

Can't offer you the advice you want, because I just dress to please myself and to blend in! Sorry you have PTSD, and certainly hope that you get it totally under control!! Best of luck to you!!

[sterling12]

There are lots and lots of Military Veterans around here. I served in Vietnam, and I think we have representation from WW II, right through Iraq and Afghanistan. I imagine we will be adding some Pilots from Libya, and from wherever else future governments choose to send our people into Harm's Way.

Being transgendered doesn't preclude or inhibit a person from doing "macho" jobs like Combat. We also have more than a few Cops and Firefighters around here too.

But, a Question for you. Did this desire to dress suddenly strike you after your Service in Combat? Or, have you always thought about/fantasized about releasing your Femme Persona? We notice that often, after traumatic events; people are reminded of their own mortality, and what they haven't done or accomplished. We have a lot of Transfolk who often start to actively become involved with dressing in their fifties and sixties. You can call it a "Delayed Stress Disorder" for some folks, but I would imagine The Results are similar.

Anyway, now that your Trans-Self has arrived, it's very doubtful it will ever go away. Be Happy, get better from your PTSD, live long, and prosper. Stick around, this place teaches you a lot, and it's very addictive. Sometimes an Addiction can be fun, and do no harm.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Tina B.]

Welcome among us, yes there are lots of us here that have military experience, thank you for yours, I did mine between wars, got out shortly before Nam. I'm another that dressed way before i was in the service though, started at around 6 years old. also spent 30 years as a trucker. It's funny when we do, what do you do in the real world threads, just how many of us work in very Macho trades, and professions.
Tina B.

[Miss Maxine]

I just separated from the Air Force, in June, after almost 12 years of active duty service. I started dressing about two years ago. During that period, I received relentless discrimination from my leadership, to include being instructed by my commander to not wear skirts. I was told it would bring "bad press" upon the military. It was made very clear to me that they would not tolerate any crossdressing. Needless to say, I am still sore about it and am glad to be out and away from the intolerance. The military, in my experience, is not trans-friendly.

[Debglam]

Welcome Donna! You are definitely not alone here! Check out this thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?143218-Veteran-dressers-r-among-us-EVERYWHERE!&highlight=veterans+day).

Kelly offers some very good advice. Take it slow and figure out exactly what is going on. Talking to a therapist with gender experience may be helpful.

I am also a retired O and only started dressing about 6 months ago. However, I always knew I had a feminine side but the urge to dress went through the roof late last year.

Debby

[Mistybtm]

My question. As a former military officer and many under my command, I have had to employ leadership and management in crisis. Is there any other Military officers or enlisted that have the same feeling of wanting to dress?

I am finding myself wanting to dress more and more too. I need pointers on how to put makeup on and really form my body. If anyone has any pointers please let me know!

Thank you!!!

I am also a gulf war Vet enlisted. I love to dress, Have been for many years , I do not have PTSD as far as I can tell. Again like everyone else take it slow But do what makes you feel good and welcome to the forum.

[Donna1]

Debby, i just wrote u this long message and it did not take!!!! Ugh

[Debglam]

Debby, i just wrote u this long message and it did not take!!!! Ugh

:sad:

Feel free to PM (Private Message) me if you like.

[Joanna41]

Donna if its advice you want you have certainly made it to the right place. There are lots of ladies here that are happy to help another out. Just ask away!

Thank You for your service...I too have served for just over 21 years and proud to have done so!

Joanna

[Donna1]

Would it be ok to put my phone number here so i can personally text with friends to talk more about this or is that not good???

[Debglam]

Would it be ok to put my phone number here so i can personally text with friends to talk more about this or is that not good???

Donna, IMHO, probably not. Once you get to know someone, you can always do that. If you have a Yahoo Messenger account, it is probably OK to provide that address. A lot of the forum members have that on their personal pages.

[Donna1]

Debbie, how do u private message???

Your so sweet thank you joanna!!! I served 22 years! Love your picture!!! Hugs!

[vetobob9]

Hello all, I am a military officer retired and a Iraqi War veteran. I have PTSD, and am seeing a counselor for last two years. Ever since I have come back from War, I have been wanting to dress up as a girl. I finally caved in and started closet dressing 6 months ago. I am so happier now, and my Girlfriend is very supportive.

My question. As a former military officer and many under my command, I have had to employ leadership and management in crisis. Is there any other Military officers or enlisted that have the same feeling of wanting to dress?

I am finding myself wanting to dress more and more too. I need pointers on how to put makeup on and really form my body. If anyone has any pointers please let me know!

Thank you!!!

Welcome to the forum. I have noticed there are a lot of veterans who crossdress, including myself, so you are not alone. Course I first started before I was in the military but put it on hold during my contracted tour obligation because of how I read that contract. I started up again once I was out.
There are a lot of people crossdressers here who are former military as well, but who have been here longer than me.

For personal safety and privacy rights reasons I do not recommend posting your phone number on the forum because we never know who we are talking to on the internet. There could some "mean disparaging" trolls walking around here looking for people to victimize. You never know, so it is prudent to take precautions on any forum you post on.

[Debglam]

Debbie, how do u private message???

If you click on someone's name, a window opens up and one of the icons says "Private Message" next to it. Just click on that. It is kind of like the forum's private e-mail system.

It may not kick in until you have your 10 posts though. Let me know.

[Donna1]

No it says i dont have permissions


Welcome Donna! You are definitely not alone here! Check out this thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?143218-Veteran-dressers-r-among-us-EVERYWHERE!&highlight=veterans+day).

Kelly offers some very good advice. Take it slow and figure out exactly what is going on. Talking to a therapist with gender experience may be helpful.

I am also a retired O and only started dressing about 6 months ago. However, I always knew I had a feminine side but the urge to dress went through the roof late last year.

Debby


Welcome to the forum. I have noticed there are a lot of veterans who crossdress, including myself, so you are not alone. Course I first started before I was in the military but put it on hold during my contracted tour obligation because of how I read that contract. I started up again once I was out.
There are a lot of people crossdressers here who are former military as well, but who have been here longer than me.

Thank you Girl!!! I can definitely see!!!!

You are all so sweet to me, thank you for your wonderful advice and welcoming me to the forum!!!! Muah!!!

Debbie... Sent u an email

[Jeannie]

Hello Donna and welcome to the forum. I am a newly retired NCO and have been dressing for many years even while on AD and it is a very satisfying experience. You say your girlfriend is very supportive which is a blessing and very important to your well being as well as success in this part of your life. It is also very important to keep her "in the loop" and listen to what she has to say about your crossdressing. With that said your girl friend is probably your most important resource and can give some very valuable insight on how many things are accomplished. There is also a part of this forum that is dedicated to help her understand more about crossdressing from other wives, girlfriends and significant others that have loved ones that crossdress. I have been here for few years now and I have learned so much from these wonderful people that I could never have learn on my own. You have come to the right place and if this is something that can help you with PTSD then I don't see any reason to not be here. Again welcome to our little world. Relax and enjoy.

[Debb]

Hi Donna, another "Desert Shaft" vet here; "Just Cause", too.

I was badly injured in a training exercise shortly after getting home from Iraq, and was disqualified from my beloved job, and put behind a desk. I didn't enjoy that and ended up getting out in late 1992 -- hard to believe it's been nearly twenty years now.

Ironically, I was recently diagnosed with PTSD ... but not because of the Gulf War, or Panama; my PTSD stems from some traumatic events during training. It's funny how PTSD reared its head, 19 years after I separated. Just goes to show ya!

It took me a long time to come to terms with my crossdressing. I had crossdressed just a little bit before I joined the AF; during the twelve years that I was in, I didn't crossdress -- at all. My job was just too "manly" to risk getting caught in women's underwear, plus the required mustache really wouldn't have helped.

After I got out, I felt more relaxed .. a gradual thawing out of my feelings towards dressing, towards wanting to be more feminine, occurred. I dressed sporadically, looked at myself in the mirror -- A LOT -- and began fantasizing about being pretty. I say fantasizing because there was just no way this former combat vet was gonna be pretty, in the way I had hoped. My muscular structure prevented it, for one thing.

I slowly came to realize that this, the femininity, the feeling that I had been born in the wrong body, this had existed in me for as long as I could remember. I looked at photos of myself as a very young child, and found that I had been trying to dress as a girl, before I became conscious that dressing that way was "wrong". It's been a slow process ... and perhaps that will happen with you, also; perhaps not, though. Everyone is different. You may never feel that you were born wrong.

It's important to realize that your PTSD, although not likely to be related to crossdressing at all, will make these feelings seem more urgent. My own experience so far with this PTSD crap has certainly shown me that; it feels more pressing now to tell my entire family that I'm transgendered. I'm keeping it from my Dad and brothers for now; I've already told my grown sons, and my wife, around ten years ago. The kids "accept" me, but they are more distant than I had hoped .. and the same goes for my wife. I'm "accepted" but not really.

Keep your stick on the ice; PTSD is a bumpy ride. We're here for ya.

[Donna1]

Thanks Deb... Your story is very similar to my story!!! I really want to be a woman full time! But I will take it slow. Thanks so much for your wonderful story!! Hugs!!



Hi Donna, another "Desert Shaft" vet here; "Just Cause", too.

I was badly injured in a training exercise shortly after getting home from Iraq, and was disqualified from my beloved job, and put behind a desk. I didn't enjoy that and ended up getting out in late 1992 -- hard to believe it's been nearly twenty years now.

Ironically, I was recently diagnosed with PTSD ... but not because of the Gulf War, or Panama; my PTSD stems from some traumatic events during training. It's funny how PTSD reared its head, 19 years after I separated. Just goes to show ya!

It took me a long time to come to terms with my crossdressing. I had crossdressed just a little bit before I joined the AF; during the twelve years that I was in, I didn't crossdress -- at all. My job was just too "manly" to risk getting caught in women's underwear, plus the required mustache really wouldn't have helped.

After I got out, I felt more relaxed .. a gradual thawing out of my feelings towards dressing, towards wanting to be more feminine, occurred. I dressed sporadically, looked at myself in the mirror -- A LOT -- and began fantasizing about being pretty. I say fantasizing because there was just no way this former combat vet was gonna be pretty, in the way I had hoped. My muscular structure prevented it, for one thing.

I slowly came to realize that this, the femininity, the feeling that I had been born in the wrong body, this had existed in me for as long as I could remember. I looked at photos of myself as a very young child, and found that I had been trying to dress as a girl, before I became conscious that dressing that way was "wrong". It's been a slow process ... and perhaps that will happen with you, also; perhaps not, though. Everyone is different. You may never feel that you were born wrong.

It's important to realize that your PTSD, although not likely to be related to crossdressing at all, will make these feelings seem more urgent. My own experience so far with this PTSD crap has certainly shown me that; it feels more pressing now to tell my entire family that I'm transgendered. I'm keeping it from my Dad and brothers for now; I've already told my grown sons, and my wife, around ten years ago. The kids "accept" me, but they are more distant than I had hoped .. and the same goes for my wife. I'm "accepted" but not really.

Keep your stick on the ice; PTSD is a bumpy ride. We're here for ya.

[Donna1]

Thanks Jeannie!!! Appreciate you girly!!! Hugs!!



Hello Donna and welcome to the forum. I am a newly retired NCO and have been dressing for many years even while on AD and it is a very satisfying experience. You say your girlfriend is very supportive which is a blessing and very important to your well being as well as success in this part of your life. It is also very important to keep her "in the loop" and listen to what she has to say about your crossdressing. With that said your girl friend is probably your most important resource and can give some very valuable insight on how many things are accomplished. There is also a part of this forum that is dedicated to help her understand more about crossdressing from other wives, girlfriends and significant others that have loved ones that crossdress. I have been here for few years now and I have learned so much from these wonderful people that I could never have learn on my own. You have come to the right place and if this is something that can help you with PTSD then I don't see any reason to not be here. Again welcome to our little world. Relax and enjoy.

[KandisTX]

I am also an Air Force veteran, I served during Desert Shield and Desert Storm. I have been dressing since I was 5 years old. I can assure you that dressing and PTSD are NOT related. You will find much support on this site, and you will also find that many of us are former military and or some still on active duty. Once you have made 10 posts you should be able to PM other members which will make communicating with them much easier than publicly posting on a thread. ;) Welcome aboard and thank you for your service.

[Aeron]

Army vet, E-5, Desert Storm, etc.

Was dressing before the Army, so I don't think my experience there affected that aspect of my life. I do think, though, that part of my going into the Army was a sort of denial of the feminine aspects of my being ("see, I'm a guy so there!"). If anything, active duty just made me more repressed, I suppose, and that ain't healthy. But I haven't been in uniform in 20 years now, and my level of self-acceptance is at an all-time high, currently.

I

[Jilmac]

Hi Donna, and welcome to the forum. I'm a navy veteran (3rd class petty officer) from the Viet Nam era, and although I never saw action in Nam, many of my shipmates did. During my hitch I kept several pairs of panties in my locker (under the guise of souveniers from willing women). I would sometimes wear the panties to wind down after a stressful situation such as a fire or damage control drill. I had keys to locked spaces on the ship and would be able to change into my panties without notice by others. My shipmates, (officers included) never knew or suspected that I was actually wearing my "souvenier' panties under my uniform, and I'm willing to bet that there may have been others aboard my ship (enlisted and officers) who shared the same secret.

There are many of us on this forum who are military veterans, and no matter if we are from the enlisted or officer ranks, we all share a common bond which is our femine side. we love what we do and can be proud that we found our true selves.

[SuzanneBender]

Donna,

Army Officer currently deployed in Afghanistan. You will find many of us here. Two years ago during the Southern Comfort Conference they asked all of the Vets in the room to stand up. Literally half of the room stood.. My first makeover at a somewhat famous trans boutique in LA I was in the chair next to a beautiful lady that regaled me with tales from her Seal team days. You will find sisters that are veterans at every turn. Sometimes I find myself doing a double take when I am at a briefing or at the Legion and VFW halls when I see someone with manicured nails and perfect brows. :eek:


My transgender tendencies were in place looooong before I joined the military. I don't attribute any of this to my PTSD and clinically I don't think there is any connection between wanting to dress and PTSD. But I also agree with Deb that PTSD makes almost everything more confusing and difficult and your tendency to dress will be impacted just like everything else in your life. We are pulling for you gal!

I think many of us ended up in the military because we were seeking a cure for something that has no cure. It makes sense. What better way to prove your manliness than a career in the military. Many of the military T-lasses that I have had the pleasure of meeting served in some of the toughest positions and jobs going to include war and still no cure.

The military is a brotherhood. It is a bond that is indescribable to those that have not worn the uniform and stood shoulder to shoulder in combat. The only thing that I have found to rival the feeling is the sisterhood that is found in the transgender community.

[Donna1]

Jilmac, et. al.,

Something that I was thinking about the other day is that when I dress particularly at night, I feel more "safer" and feel like I can be happy! I feel like nothing will hurt me and I can be who I would like to be... My tour in Iraq was very tough, especially with EOD. I have had these feelings for a long time, but now feel like I can express them, particularly with my Girlfriend and my therapist to express how I would like to be! The problem is I feel like "rushing" this feeling in dressing full time, but I am not ready at all. I need to learn a lot more about this and make sure that I can very much understand what the desire really comes from. I hope all this make sense to you all.

[Donna1]

Donna,

Army Officer currently deployed in Afghanistan. You will find many of us here. Two years ago during the Southern Comfort Conference they asked all of the Vets in the room to stand up. Literally half of the room stood.. My first makeover at a somewhat famous trans boutique in LA I was in the chair next to a beautiful lady that regaled me with tales from her Seal team days. You will find sisters that are veterans at every turn. Sometimes I find myself doing a double take when I am at a briefing or at the Legion and VFW halls when I see someone with manicured nails and perfect brows. :eek:


My transgender tendencies were in place looooong before I joined the military. I don't attribute any of this to my PTSD and clinically I don't think there is any connection between wanting to dress and PTSD. But I also agree with Deb that PTSD makes almost everything more confusing and difficult and your tendency to dress will be impacted just like everything else in your life. We are pulling for you gal!

I think many of us ended up in the military because we were seeking a cure for something that has no cure. It makes sense. What better way to prove your manliness than a career in the military. Many of the military T-lasses that I have had the pleasure of meeting served in some of the toughest positions and jobs going to include war and still no cure.

The military is a brotherhood. It is a bond that is indescribable to those that have not worn the uniform and stood shoulder to shoulder in combat. The only thing that I have found to rival the feeling is the sisterhood that is found in the transgender community.

Suzzane,

Very well said. I am not sure if PTSD is associated with my desire to CD but whatever it is, it makes me feel "safe". Don't ask me to describe it, because I can't. But, I am in therapy, and my Therapist focus is in the transgendered community. So, I am being taken care of. I told my girlfriend that I wanted to take estrogen, but she freaked! I now know that I am progressing waaaaaay to fast here. I am not Gay, nor do I want to do SRS (at least the way I currently feel). But, I do want to alter my body to become a woman...does that make sense? Ugh...sorry if I am rambling, I just need a lot of encouragement and sometimes help!!! hugs!

[Stephanie47]

Hi Donna. I am a Viet Nam veteran. I was a draftee and served in the infantry. I have a Purple Heart w/Oak Leaf Cluster. As a draftee I obviously did not join the army to become manly or fight a compulsion to wear my mother's clothing once in a while. I did not know I am a crossdresser. Back in the 1950's and 1960's to be a crossdresser was to be a 'faggot' or other derogatory term. The term gay had not been co-opted yet by the homosexual community. During my two years of service I felt absolutely no desire to dress as a woman.

My PTSD issues started in late 1970's and broke out viciously in the last five years. I agree there is no linkage PTSD causes crossdressing. However, I believe there is linkage between PTSD and crossdressing as a stress reliever. Some suffers of PTSD resorted to drugs, alcohol and other self destructive behavior as a coping mechanism. I find great relief from PTSD stress issues while being en femme. I am an in-home crossdresser because I do not want to lose the peace and tranquility that being en femme brings me by enduring the public scorn and ridicule that can accompany being outed.

I would recommend that you do NOT use crossdressing to resolve your PTSD issues by tossing out all male attributes you possess. I believe most crossdressers decided to serve their country for reasons other than to prove their manliness or suppress their crossdressing desires. When I served I had no desire to crossdress. I was not frustrated. Crossdressing was not an issue. Other posters indicated they may have 'joined up' in the hopes to suppress their desires, but, not all of us.

Becoming womanly will not resolve your PTSD issues. Dabbling in crossdressing can be a great stress reliever, when used appropriately, but, it will not cure PTSD. I believe your counselor has already told you the issues that brought PTSD into your life will always be there. You and I will not forget those instances. Counseling will only enable you to cope with them. PTSD is a normal reaction to warfare. PTSD is not a disease. PTSD is not an abnormal mental condition. So, I have not and do not recommend tossing aside those portions of your manly being that are positive and have nothing to do with your PTSD.

[juno]

First, I want to say that many people have given a lot to preserve our freedom in this country. You deserve to use this freedom. Be proud that we live in a country where we have freedom, and enjoy using it. It would be a waste to have freedom and be just like everyone else.

I have always had feminine interests, but never turned to crossdressing until after my years in the military and several years in college earning a PhD. I was too busy working to establish a career. Once I had time to relax and spend more time improving my personal life, my CD interests began to develop. So, it could just be a side effect of spending time deciding what you want to do to enjoy life.

It is possible that some people will turn to crossdressing as a stress reliever, the same as many people in high pressure roles turn to being a submissive in BDSM play. However, I suspect that turning to crossdressing is likely to come from underlying feminine parts of your personality that you have never tried to express. Developing a female personality can probably help you deal with emotional issues, but it will also mean more time spent crying. That part may not be fun, but it helps you heal.

[Michaela42]

Hi Donna and welcome to the boards!

I served for nearly four years in the Navy before I was medically discharged, and I had the urge to crossdress long before I ever joined. But, as Deb was saying above, PTSD can cause our feelings to be amplified. Take your time and talk things out. And above all, stick with the PTSD treatment. To me there were many parts of it that seemed silly/stupid/ and just plain dumb, but I am glad that I did. Take care and thank you for your service.

[Donna1]

Stephanie,

I think you hit it right on the head! (so to speak). When I crossdress it relieves a lot of stress in my life. For example: I never used to be scared of thunderstorms. But, when one strikes out of no-where, it increase my stress level. In Iraq, we used to get mortored all the time. I got shot at and working with EOD is stressful in itself! Now, when I dress to go to sleep in woman's night clothes, I feel so secure and relieves my stress. I feel like the same throughout the day when I wear "underdress" garments! So, I am not sure if it is linked with PTSD, but I sure am happier and less stressed when CD! Plus, I just like to be feminine even though I am a man. So, that is where I am at!

I think the real issue here is this: Is PTSD linked to my crossdressing desires! I think most have said No.

[SuzanneBender]

Suzzane,

Very well said. I am not sure if PTSD is associated with my desire to CD but whatever it is, it makes me feel "safe". Don't ask me to describe it, because I can't. But, I am in therapy, and my Therapist focus is in the transgendered community. So, I am being taken care of. I told my girlfriend that I wanted to take estrogen, but she freaked! I now know that I am progressing waaaaaay to fast here. I am not Gay, nor do I want to do SRS (at least the way I currently feel). But, I do want to alter my body to become a woman...does that make sense? Ugh...sorry if I am rambling, I just need a lot of encouragement and sometimes help!!! hugs!

Donna,

Being EOD you understand that slow is steady and steady is fast. I understand the feeling of safety that dressing provides, but don't let it overwhelm you. We call that feeling the pink fog. You are bound to get lost in it so take it slowly and make small course corrections especially when it comes to your loved ones and your career. Therapy is one of the best ways to navigate through this portion of your life also you may want to look for a local support group. Having sisters to vent with is always helpful. I am there for you as I am sure many others here are.

[Cynthia Anne]

We love you for your service We will continue loving as a girl! BE ALL YOU CAN BE! BE HAPPY!:hugs::)

[Jason+]

Stephanie,

I think you hit it right on the head! (so to speak). When I crossdress it relieves a lot of stress in my life. For example: I never used to be scared of thunderstorms. But, when one strikes out of no-where, it increase my stress level. In Iraq, we used to get mortored all the time. I got shot at and working with EOD is stressful in itself! Now, when I dress to go to sleep in woman's night clothes, I feel so secure and relieves my stress. I feel like the same throughout the day when I wear "underdress" garments! So, I am not sure if it is linked with PTSD, but I sure am happier and less stressed when CD! Plus, I just like to be feminine even though I am a man. So, that is where I am at!

I think the real issue here is this: Is PTSD linked to my crossdressing desires! I think most have said No.

Donna1,

Welcome in from another vet! I spent 20 years in the navy, 16 on submarines and 4 working with underwater explosive mines. Fortunately I only had to work with EOD twice during that time. My father is a Vietnam Vet and while I am not sure if he was formally diagnosed with PTSD to this day we are careful about waking him up or approaching from the side he doesn't see as well from. I am reasonably sure he hasn't ever been a cross dresser but he did tell me that if putting on a dress and heels is the worst thing I do in a day I must be pretty ok.

I think you'll find that while the PTSD may have been a catalyst for sparking being a CD from reading the posts so far and my own experience it's an outward expression of traits that were already there.

[Donna1]

This is such a great discussion, i really appreciate all the inputs and support! You all are so wonderful, i feel right at home!!!!

[Misti]

Donna, being EOD you understand that slow is steady and steady is fast. I understand the feeling of safety that dressing provides, but don't let it overwhelm you. We call that feeling the pink fog. You are bound to get lost in it so take it slowly and make small course corrections especially when it comes to your loved ones and your career. Therapy is one of the best ways to navigate through this portion of your life also you may want to look for a local support group. Having sisters to vent with is always helpful. I am there for you as I am sure many others here are.

Donna, 1st off, welcome to the life style and the forum, and thank you very much for your great service to our great country. I, too, am a retired Vet (USAF), plus proudly bearing the mantle of being an honorary EOD person (given to me as a pilot during my 40 out of 48 month’s combat mission flying in Nam). I sincerely emphasize (truly, but for military-related, non-combat reasons) with your PTSD. :straightface:

BTAIM I am a late bloomer in this CDing thing, too! I have read all of these magnificent "helping hand" posts to you with actual tears in my eyes, they are so beautiful. I, too, have gone through the trauma of rushing the "pink fog" ever since I found out about myself, and am continuously fighting that battle 24/7/365 (See my latest post (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?158992-Earrings-The-Feel&p=2581515&highlight=#post2581515) and you'll better understand that statement). :battingeyelashes:

I, too, am blessed with an understanding and supportive SO. Take care of yours like you've never ever taken care of anything "so very precious in your whole life." Don't ever lose her; instead, love her more than you ever thought possible, she is your lifeline away from those others of us of the same CDing persuasion that you will be meeting here on the forum, plus in person in the future. For that matter, find yourself a CD friend ASAP in the Shreveport area as it is "very lonely at the top." That can, and most possibly will, happen "right c'here" (I can say that because I was stationed at Lake Charles (then, Chennault AFB)) on this great forum for you, right now. :D

God bless and keep you both hail, hearty, well and healthy, sir! (I was brought up respecting my elders, you see!) :heehee:

Hugs,
M.

[Mary Lee]

I am 65.
I served in the Army, which included a year in vietnam in combat 11B in 66-67.
I went to the NCO academy and left the service as an E5.
I would have stayed in if it were not for nam.
I am rated 50% for PTSD related to combat. Currently I am rated 80% disabled.
Have had PTSD since nam but it got real bad in 1985.
I have dressed to some extend ever since I can remember.
PTSD and CD are not really related except that I feel so much calmer as a female.
I see private shrinks as I am still fighting for a higher PTSD disability rating and I
do not what the VBA to use my GID issues against me.
You and all Vets can get GID mental health care at the VA. Have them address you
as a female and use the woman’s clinic if you present as a female. They are supposed to be arranging for restroom use. They also provide hormones if there is a need.
Most of the time now I feel I want to live full time as a female maybe to escape the troubled would I have been living in.

[StaceyJane]

another vet here. I did 12 years including a tour of Iraq. I don't blame any of my gender issues on my miltary service

[Donna1]

You all so sweet to me thank you so much!

[CaitlynRenee]

A big welcome....... You are not alone here, since many of us were/are, military vets/careerists. I had 22+ years Marine Corps myself, served in Viet Nam and BEFORE first go around in the Gulf (yeah, we were there then). Yay!! What fun. Retired in '89. My journey in the CD world began when I was about 3/4 years old. Grandma dressed me up and Mom thought it was cute. Never had much opposition to it growing up and wore both male and female togs. Didn't think much of it. I also suffer from combat related PTSD and have found that going enfemme, helps me tame the inner beast and find a calmer part of my soul.

Good luck on your own personal journey, my friend. Semper Fi.

[Jessica Keys]

I played around with C/Cing before being drafted into the Army 67-69. So that will tell you where I ended up. I still can't say the name of that country to this day without getting flashbacks.
After being released from two years of service we were told nothing of using the VA or anything like that. Of course back in the sixties we returning service men were not looked upon very nice as we were all known "baby killers".
I restarted C/Ding about a year after my return to the states and soon went full time living as a female in FL. Worked in a small shop as a secretary and I could with my small size (and nice a$$) pass as a female with no problems. I lived that way for five years. Living as enfem closed most of my mermories of the war I think because in those days there were no combat females and I guess if I was one of "them" it never happend to ME. Strange I know!
Some guys after comming back lived out in the trees...some just made do with it....some tuffed it out and continued life.
Some ten years later I did find the VA and tried a therapist back in the 70's but he wanted me to remember everything I wanted to forget and when I told him I was liveing as "then" as a parttime female I really thought he was going to kill me. I know things are better with these people now days.
Now I do not dress as much and everything is in the past and happened to somebody else.
I guess take it slow and do what makes you happy now and for the long term.
And do get some help.

[Donna1]

Caitlyn,

Thanks so much! Dressing enfemme also helps me tame that stress too! I love it! I think my favorate thing is wearing the heels and french tip nails! I love that so much!

Thanks for your service! I retired as a 22 year USAF Major.

Donna

A big welcome....... You are not alone here, since many of us were/are, military vets/careerists. I had 22+ years Marine Corps myself, served in Viet Nam and BEFORE first go around in the Gulf (yeah, we were there then). Yay!! What fun. Retired in '89. My journey in the CD world began when I was about 3/4 years old. Grandma dressed me up and Mom thought it was cute. Never had much opposition to it growing up and wore both male and female togs. Didn't think much of it. I also suffer from combat related PTSD and have found that going enfemme, helps me tame the inner beast and find a calmer part of my soul.

Good luck on your own personal journey, my friend. Semper Fi.

[Donna1]

I just wanted to let everyone know that my girlfriend Trish help/taught me how to put on make-up properly last night!!!!!! We had a great time and she was very tender with me and patient! I am so happy to have a woman at my side like her. I love her so much, and I am so very thankful that she is supporting me and willing to help me. She even gave me most of her Clinique make up stuff and encourages me to practice! We had a great time last night doing the make-over!!!!!!

She also registered for this board to get more understanding, so if you see "Trish1", that is my girlfriend. I love you honey!!!!!

[sissystephanie]

I just wanted to let everyone know that my girlfriend Trish help/taught me how to put on make-up properly last night!!!!!! We had a great time and she was very tender with me and patient! I am so happy to have a woman at my side like her. I love her so much, and I am so very thankful that she is supporting me and willing to help me. She even gave me most of her Clinique make up stuff and encourages me to practice! We had a great time last night doing the make-over!!!!!!

She also registered for this board to get more understanding, so if you see "Trish1", that is my girlfriend. I love you honey!!!!!

Marry that woman. She is a real "keeper!"

[kellylynn_31]

24 years USN. Always had the desire to dress, gradually dressed more and more. My kids are now at an age that limits dressing. I am blessed with very supportive wife but we don't want the kids to know, at least til they move out. For the last 10 years or so of active duty I underdressed as much as possible. Always chuckled when I thought I was probably wearing the prettiest panties.

Take your time and don't push to hard.

[Trish1]

Hi Everyone,
Im Trish, Donna1's girlfriend. Apologize it has taken me a bit to get on the site. First had to get registered and awaited approval then last night ended up in the emergency room myself as a patient!!! UGH, what a night. And by my side through it all was Donna1, My Soul Mate for life. Thank you for making him feel welcome in this confusing time for him. Donna 1 is my True Soul Mate and the man I am so in love with, so anything I can do to help him and make life less stressful for him is what I am aiming for. So any education or info you can teach me about helping him would be great. I would love to hear from other wives/girlfriends as well. I do truly feel in Donna1 case, that this desire comes from family and deployment trauma that he has suffered and had to push his feelings and emotions aside during these times to make decisions, making him feel he has to repress things. I know I am not a military veteran, but I was a military dependent. both with my father who was in the Air Force for 28 years, my ex who was in for 21 years, and with Donna 1 who was in for 22 years. So I have the view from a dependent stand point and I can truly say that those who serve in our military are to be honored for your sacrafices and hard work and dedication to our country and freedom. I am SO PROUD OF ALL OF YA'LL. It is through my life as a military dependent and through my relationship with Donna1 that had given me the insight or epiphany into what I want to do in my career.....I am going back to school to major in Psychology to become a councilor for military and Family. This group is men and women is what I feel strongly about because there is so much many of you go through in your military careers that you never have an outlet to be able to express to or for someone to be there for you to help you. I am so thankful you all have taken Donna1 under your "wing" and helped him when he needed it and when we did not know where to go to for information. I love the fact that ya'll have become a close family of friends and this makes my heart warm as I want the best for Donna1. I will always encourage this friendship from ya'll for him. Thank you for everything you have helped with. Donna1 is the best thing that has come into my life and I love him with all my being. Thank you for letting me be a part of this group. God Bless and everyone have a wonderful night... Trish

[KandisTX]

Welcome Trish1, as a CD with a supportive and accepting SO, I can tell you that your being there for Donna is going to help out immensely. We, most of us, tended to grow up with this as a part of our lives, and I would venture a guess to say that about ninety percent of us all thought we were the only ones that did this. With the advent of the internet, and support groups like this site, we have come to realize that we are not alone in this. Many of us however are sadly alone because we cannot come out to our SO's, or we have come out to them and they are neither accepting or supportive. Once you have posted the requisite 10 times, feel free to PM me or my wife "GLITTERGG" with any questions you might have. :) Although I'd be your best bet since my wife does not come to this site very often. :) Again, welcome and thank you for being there for Donna. :)

[Amymonroe]

i too know how you might feel as i am current military and a vet as well. i do not wish to tell anyone where i am stationed at right now. i am a SGT and i have kept this pretty much under wraps from everyone except a few people in Germany. i am getting out in 22 months and i am thinking of opening the closet door a little more once i get established. my spouse has supported me for the last 12 years. we go shopping from time to time together. good luck to both you and your SO.

amy

[hiddenpanties]

I just recently registered and one of the first threads that I read was this one and I had to comment. I spent 12 years in the Army with multiple tours in Iraq and one in Korea. I have been a Platoon Sergeant and weapons trainer...And I have worn panties for as long as I can remember. A while ago, I wrote as a guest on a blog, hewearspanties.com about my panty-wearing. Here is what I wrote:

"I am a 36 year old straight man that enjoys wearing panties. A little of my background: I doubt that anyone could call into question my masculinity. I had a career in the Army with three combat tours, led convoys around Baghdad, always scored highly on my physical fitness tests, and was in charge of my own platoon. I rose up through the ranks quite quickly, serving in many leadership positions. I am also married and the father of two boys that are as into sports as I am.

Nothing about me looks or seems feminine, but just like others that have posted here, I had been frustrated with limited options of what was being sold/marketed for men to wear. I hate boxers in that I want support for my parts, and just can’t stand the look and feel of tighty-whities. I hate the feel of the rough cotton that we are limited to. Not only that, but there is no variety whatsoever in men’s underwear. After looking and looking, I was able to find some underwear made by Marona that was a micro-fiber type material. I started wearing those, but was still limited to black, white, and dark blue…that’s it. Let’s see, what should I wear today? Oooohhh, I get to choose from three. Kind of like when I was in the military: What should I wear today? How about green!

I discovered panties quite a few years ago when my wife as a joke, dared me to wear a pair of hers. I was hooked. They felt good, they supported me well, and I must admit, I got turned on as well. Throughout the years, she has gone back and forth on if she likes it or not. For a while we even shopped for panties together for me, and she allowed me to wear them to bed along with a nightgown. Interesting, she “allowed” me. Since when should we have to be “allowed” to do wear something that we enjoyed? However, she is now totally against it, she does not like any bit of it even though I wish I could wear them 24/7. I have to actually hide the fact that I wear them, which I hate, having to lie to her. BTW, if there are any women reading this that refuse to let your husband wear panties and lingerie, you are only forcing them to lie to you.

Not only do I love the feel and look of panties, but being in the military had made me aggressive, combative, and assertive. Sometimes this is good, sometimes not. Wearing panties under my uniform was a good way of calming me down. At one point in the military, I almost had a breakdown where all the expectations of my family, my soldiers, and society got to be too much. I felt that I was carrying the burden of our nation on my shoulders, and along with that, my family. When people see a soldier they expect them to be the protector, the one to fight for the nation, a perfect example of manliness. Society does not allow a male soldier to show feeling, any kind of softness, or any type of weakness. That is a lot to carry on your shoulders. I don’t know when, but I started wearing panties once again under my uniform, and every once in a while, a bra or camisole. With our uniform tops, it was easy to hide. I didn’t wear a bra or camisole while deployed, but still wore panties.

A curious thing started happening. My soldiers told me that I was more approachable, my leadership style was more fair and balanced, and that I was able to listen and understand their problems that they brought to me better. The stress started melting away and I was able to function better. I became a better father and husband. So even though I love wearing panties due to the variety, feel, and the overall sexiness of it, there are some great side effects from wearing panties!"

I'm glad to be a member of a forums page that is so supportive. Trish, Donna is so lucky to have you in her life. I wish that I was as lucky to have someone that would be ok with me wearing panties, not only for the sexiness factor, but also as a means of allowing myself to let my guard down and embrace my feminine side.

[Intertwined]

6 years USN, E-5, Sonar Tech, Fast Attack Submarine, 2 deployment to Gulf, Desert Storm & Desert Shield, Have CD since I was 8 years old. Cute story, I didn't put CD aside while in Navy, I just put a spin on it, that my shipmates didn't realize that I was CD, example, I had a garterbelt hanging from the overhead in my bunk, I told my shipmates it was a souvenier...

This is my "I Love Me Wall" JPG
163817

Me in the torpedo room
163818

My dismal attempt at the beard growing contest
163819

[Tracii G]

Welcome Donna I won't bore you with my details but you came to the right place!
This forum has helped me so much to understand why I am the way I am.

[Deborah]

I dressed up when i was in the Army. Not so much when i was living in the barracks but once i got married and i had my own house i made up for lost time.

[Kellicd848]

I would dress up from time to time while I was in the Navy. Retired now so it does not matter what I did then. smile
Kelli

[Carla]

Another Vet here! I retired after 22 years of service and like others, I changed what I wear every day. I went from the male uniform to the business woman look. Again like others, I have been crossdressing since my childhood, but it never interfered with serving my country proudly. As an officer, I had no options other than staying in the closet. Best wishes to you on your PTSD and know that it can be fixed. And you have Trish! Having someone as supportive and caring as her is a precious gift. My wife is fully supportive of who I am becoming as well and I would not trade that for anything. I read what Trish wrote and know that you are being well taken of.

Hugs, Carla

[Trish1]

Thank you every one for the very warm welcome I have received. I could use the friendship just as much as Donna can. I love that everyone is so supportive. I really do hope to hear from other wives/girlfriends too. Anything that can teach me and allow me to help Donna would be great. I really do care for Donna and feel that Donna is my life and my heart. Thank you again for welcoming me into this group.

[drushin703]

US NAVY vet checking in. Six year commitment, all six spent overseas.Naval communication station Iceland, Keflevic Iceland, Naval supply depo Manama,
Manama Bahrain, Naval supply depo Masawa, Masawa Ethiopia, and a fast frigate in the second fleet.......dana.

[Trish1]

Guess what??? Donna and I went to the exchange the other day and I showed her what colors and shades of make up look good with her skin complextion. Last night we had fun both of us doing make up. Still had to show her some techniques and how to apply which made us both laugh, We had a good time and afterwards both were dolled up. Love you with all my heart and soul.....Your the best Donna

[Donna1]

Guess what??? Donna and I went to the exchange the other day and I showed her what colors and shades of make up look good with her skin complextion. Last night we had fun both of us doing make up. Still had to show her some techniques and how to apply which made us both laugh, We had a good time and afterwards both were dolled up. Love you with all my heart and soul.....Your the best Donna

We did have a great time! Trish is the best Girlfriend ever! It helped me so much! Thank you honey, I love you so much! It was pretty intimidating though, but when she showed me how to apply the make-up, I think I have a better understanding now!!!!! I love TRISH!!!!

Donna

[ashleymasters]

I think it's great to see this thread. I have said on this site many times that sometimes I feel so conflicted because my male side is such the alpha type an my job just adds to that. I am an NCO and I've had to come to terms with the great difference in my two characters. feel free to message me anytime to talk more about it.

[Kate Simmons]

I had two tours in Nam in Army Intel. I managed to dress both in the States and overseas while on assignment. Where there is a will there is a way my friend. Just check out the different sections here for tips but experience is the best teacher as you should be well aware of having been an Officer. Feel free to contact me with any questions. Best of luck.:)