I just realized what "losing something" really means.

[Sophora]

So I have been back in PA for about a month now. I am still out and about as a women(well to a certain extent). Almost everyone at work is now calling a "she" which is cool. I have been called "she" and "lady" even while in drab mode now which is totally awesome.

However I just realized what it means to lose someone really important. That person is my Mom. She has basically been trying to convince that I am not the girl I am. She has also been bringing "god" and the bible in the discussion(merely a bullentin point and not a thesis on religion as I have many christian friends supporting me right now). Tonight on the way home from a relatives was worse. She told that I was trying to be something I am not(a girl). She said I could be anything or who I want to be. I asked her if I can hold her to that and her response was "not on the girl thing."

I knew that I would have to lose some people in my life and had been preparing for that eventually. However since it is my Mom it hurts a lot that she can't see what a lot of people have been seeing for awhile now.

I have a job and will trying to get a car and an apartment as soon as I can as well as starting hair removal surgery and HRT(which I won't be able to do until after I move out). I hate feeling like this tho.

[InLucidReverie]

There is never someone worth having that you would lose over such a thing... your Mother, no matter what she may think, will come around to it in the end. She'll have to if she gives any kind of damn.

[Aprilrain]

sorry this is happening. I'm a bit confused, why did you move back to PA you seemed to be doing well in Wisconsin (it was Wisconsin right?).

[Sophora]

sorry this is happening. I'm a bit confused, why did you move back to PA you seemed to be doing well in Wisconsin (it was Wisconsin right?).

I was however I had gotten evicted from my apartment(I still don't know why). I had decided to move back to PA because most of my friends are here and I need a great support group(the only thing I didn't have in WI).

[Melody Moore]

Sophora, I feel & have shared in this exact same type of grief with my own mother, but also with the rest of my family,
my father, sister & even the loss of my own kids. But like others have said give it time, they might eventually come around.

As much as we would hope that people will accept things sometimes it takes time for people to process & digest all that is
happening with you. But one thing is almost certain here - now they know you are a transsexual they will start to take more
interest in the topic to gain some understanding through other 3rd party type resources. My father shocked me the last time
we spoke, he asked me how I was going to get $14,000 for my SRS! I thought "how the hell does he know the costs of it?".
So I asked him and he told me he read about it in a 'That's Life!' magazine. With more stories about us now in the media the
more the reality will sink in that it is a very normal & acceptable thing now in society. So even though me & my mother are
not getting on, I will give her time then try talking to her sometime again in the near future. But one thing is always going to
be clear here - I am not going to ever be made feel guilty & that I live my life for me now & not for anyone else. Maybe one
day the reality will sink in that I have a conviction now about who I really am & that she shouldn't ever feel guilty or ashamed
of that fact.

And finally something else to consider is that mothers often feel more guilty because they were the one who brought
you into the world - so maybe she needs more reassurance that nothing was ever her fault, that it is a normal part of
nature & it's been here since the dawn of mankind. And one man, Leviticus, who professes to be a prophet of God who
didn't like shellfish, labelling any such bottom dwelling creature an abomination of God. He also criticised & made claims
that people like us were also an abomination of God - but these statements cannot be true because the Bible also tells
us that God created all things on earth, just like he created you & me for example. The New Testament was given to us
and one of the most important things we are taught by the new testament was that we put away the old ways of the
Old Testament. We are to tolerate & love each other, not judge & be hateful towards each other. God loves everyone
no matter who they may be. Most of the churches around the world are relaxing their policies towards LGBT people
because they are starting to accept science instead of questioning it. It is sad that some older people or people with
outdated ideals haven't yet caught up with that - espeically when it is members of our own family.

So don't let this hold you back or become a damper on your beautiful spirit hun - hold your head up & just be happy
and hopefully your mother can one day appreciate the real reasons behind why this is so important to you now. :)
Good luck with it, I am sure things will work out where you will have peace in your life :hugs: