Strength to get through....

[Louise C]

Hi everyone,
As some of you already know, i've recently applied to change my name officially from my male one to my female one. YAY!

I do have to admit, that this is really quite scary now that i'm officially on my RLT, although i do feel as though i've already been living it in a way, due to my friends and colleagues having known about me for the last 18 - 24 months. Whilst i haven't always presented totally as female, i dress very androgynously moving towards the feminine side, depending on how confident i feel at the time.

I know there is no magic wand or three wishes to get us through this period, but for those of you who have been through these early days or those who are indeed going through it now, i ask you this:
What helps you most to get through the door at the beginning of the day? What do you tell yourself?

I tell myself continuously that this is my life, and mine alone to live, but you know, i guess somedays this just doesn't seem enough. There is no support group here, so i tend to rely on any support i can get from my few friends although this is hard for them too and i don't like to keep leaning on them.

I probably sound a bit rubbish to all those who have gone before me, but i could really do with a bit of help with this one.....

[Melody Moore]

i tend to rely on any support i can get from my few friends although
this is hard for them too and i don't like to keep leaning on them.
Never stop expanding your support network, find ways to get out and make new friends,
then this shares the load more and noone ever feels overburdened by your attention.

I know this is very hard, but you will need time to adjust now into your new gender identity & new life.
But it really pays to try and appreciate your own space & time - take advantage of the time you cannot
be with your friends. Fill up your days with something you need to do or you really like to do. Engage in
other activities which are the most constructive and will have a positive affect on you. Work on things
to make you feel better about yourself and hang out with as many natal females as you can in any type
of support group or women's groups you can find.

I just keep telling myself a lot at first - "You go girl!" & just kept a positive & happy attitude about everything
and every time some one addressed me as a woman it felt good and I would hear "You go girl!" again in my head.
Who cannot feel happy to finally be accepted as the person they truly are? Eventually you will build up the faith &
have the confidence with real conviction about being a woman and when you get to this point it will be a lot easier.
But remember hun, life was never meant to be easy, especially if you are a transsexual, so hang in there :hugs:

[Rianna Humble]

I think what helped me through the doubts in the early days was the thought of what was to come, blossoming into the real me after so long repressing who I am.

I still have the odd day when I don't particularly want to wake up, let alone go out the door, but for me it is not really linked to the RLE, just to how I'm feeling generally.

When I get the odd feeling of "who do I think I'm trying to kid", I look at what I would have to go back to if I gave up and shudder.

[Hope]

It is true that we all go through the ugly period.

It is true that we all go through bad, bad, dark, bad days.

It is true that this is hard work. Lots and lots of HARD work.

But I have never felt like I didn't want to do it, or that I had made a bad decision, or that I wanted to go back. I was never, ever, ever sure about something until I tried it the first time - and then - with only one or two exceptions I never looked back. After the first day I went out dressed, fully presenting as a woman, there were exactly 3 days I left the house presenting as a man - and I never will ever again.

It isn't that this is so easy, or that it is so glamorous, or so much fun that I simply can't tear myself away from it (there is fun and glam and easy too - but that isn't the question) - it is that the other option, to go back to the closet, to be that miserable unhappy person is just SO bad.

And that is what gets me through - that is what I remember on those dark days. Yeah, this is hard, but the alternative is ... not even an option anymore.

[Carole Cross]

It was quite hard for me to get through the first few weeks but I knew I had to do it. It is all to do with confidence and the more you go out, the more and confident you will get. It will seem very daunting at first and there are days when you don't want to go out because of fear of ridicule, especially if you have had an incident the day before. It will get better as you become more confident and you will soon wonder why you didn't do it before. As a male I never really had much confidence in myself and I realised that after 6-8 months of my RLE I was more confident than I ever was as a man. Once you get to that point then you will feel alot more optimistic about who you are and that you will be able to get through.

[Louise C]

Thanks to you all for sharing your experiences with me, i really appreciate it.

I've just got back from my first evening as Louise with some of my closest friends. It was very relaxed, very pleasant. I am a very happy girl tonight!

:D:D:D