i felt a womans fear 2.....

[Louise C]

Rather than hi-jack the first "fear" thread i thought i would start a separate one instead. Hope you don't mind me using the same title JayCee!

You know, something has occurred to me whilst reading through the other thread,- there's an awful lot of us who have some form of martial training.

Is this because we were trying to kid ourselves we were the macho guy in our previous lives or did we unconsciously decide we were going to eventually need to protect ourselves?

I practice Yang style T'ai chi, basic chi kung and also Dim Mak. I really enjoyed teaching the beginners a few years ago and felt i was really helping people achieve some inner balance. The martial side of it all was fun, but i secretly did not like the violent side of it.

Would anyone else like to expand on this one?

[tanyavelour]

I don't, I usually would get beaten up easily, almost every month! Then I found that having body fat makes you slightly more menacing, so the beatings stopped :)... Sadly, I don't have a very sexy figure :(

[Mikaela]

I trained when I was a young adult and it's been about 17 years since I did it, but no, it wasn't for this in any way. I used it for sport, health, stress management, and defense as a whole.
I wouldn't be as capable as I once was, but at least I still have a level-head in stressful situations, won't box myself into a corner, and know the basics of dealing with a bully who is not going to be trained.

[BreenaDion]

I never did train in any thing. I know why so I wont bore you.
Breena

[Laura Evans]

I have over 15yrs of martial arts training none of which was for macho purposes but for the enjoyment of the physical movements, learning some neat stuff, building self confidence, etc.

[MAJESTYK]

Dim Mak? Interesting indeed, I pray you never need it.

[Rhonda Darling]

Depending on where you live, this will either garner a knowing nod and an understanding grin, or you will likely have a visceral reaction that it is better to take a beating, even unto death, than to defend yourself with a deadly weapon. In the Commonwealth of Virginia, I have a concealed carry permit for a handgun. I don't often travel with it in tow, but there are times when prudence dictates having it handy. We have many trails (biking, hiking, etc) in Virginia, and being armed could be the difference between being robbed, beaten, or worse for being different (TG/CD/Etc). I've got a verified clean record, no mental illness (!!!!), no felonies, have taken a concealed carry course, go to the range often, and in general, when armed am prepared to defend self and others. The mental awareness of knowing your own threat condition is probably the best protection I go out with. Your results may differ.

Rhonda

[Missy Tanya]

I just wheeled a large purse.. And since I'm a Plus size girl on the inside, I find that I don't have to worry too much. Never been put in that position, but if, I think I would be the one standing with one high heel foot holding them down till the police arrive.

Tanya

[Melody Moore]

Geez, I don't carry a gun either & I don't feel the need that I should. If some fool wants to take this 5'10"
185lb tiger on with my sharp claws then good luck to them. But having said that I am not going to be stupid
& put myself in any type of position of risk. I have always said & I will say it again - your best weapon you
can use to effectively defending yourself is 'to use your head!'.

My martial arts history goes back to when I learning Jujitsu at the age of 13 & was also doing gymnastics in
high school. So I was a lightweight & not the strongest, but I was also very quick & agile in my movements.

At the age of 15 I started learn more about mixed martial arts training in Wing Chung Kung Fu, Tae Kwon Do
& Karate. Because I moved away from my original trainers at the age of 18 when I joined the Army, I took up
with a trainer in Hap Kune Do, a variant of Jeet Kune Do which was also developed from the original Wing Chung
style of Kung Fu. I like Wing Chung for stand up fighting style because it taught me how to defend & counter
attack at very close quarters & then that worked well with my Jujitsu, then I have my take downs & holds for
any ground fight. Unarmed combat training I was taught in the army also used a number of moves that also had
their origins in these types of fighting arts. If it comes down to it, the first thing I try & do is gain control of my
attackers head. Once you have this under control, you can force them into submission. But good arm & leg locks
can also be very effective as well.

But more importantly than gaining control of you attacker's head, you need to get your own head
in order and know how to stay in total control of your situation as your very first line of defence...

Two words people need to get extremely familiar with in self defence is "Situational Awareness". By learning
how to avoid conflict using situational awareness you can know the best methods of self defence to keep
yourself safe. To give you an example of how I use this, last Saturday night I drove to the city to attend a
ladies only lesbian night. When I arrived at the venue I couldn't find a park so I started to drive away from
the venue to find the nearest park. I have a girlfriend that lives in a backstreet very close to there & I did
think about parking at her place then walking to the venue. However that would have meant I would have
had to walk down some poorly lit quite back streets. So I stayed on the main road because it was better lit
and had more people around. I eventually found a park further away than I would have hoped, but I parked
in a location where I knew I could get back to my car without putting myself into a situation of higher risk.

But sometimes we can become complacent & let down our guards when we are in a situation where we
allow ourselves to do this because of a false sense of security. There are literally thousands of different
ways that you might innocently find yourself in a tight spot & having to fight your way to get out safely,
but I am going to share a true story about a trans-girl I know who almost got herself badly assaulted &
raped because she let her guard down when she went out drinking at a hotel.

It was a nice Sunday afternoon when she went to this hotel who had live entertainment & a BBQ happening
in the beer garden and she quickly found herself surrounded by lots of friendly happy people. However as the
day wore on & she become affected by alcohol her defences came down. When the place closed down she
was at a table of late stayers & the owner. But then eventually the late stayers got up and left. Rather than
take that as her cue that it was time to leave as well, she stayed there with the hotel owner who fully intended
to have his way with her. I can't remember exactly what happened, but the guy tried to force himself on her
then he got violent, she did something that then gave her a chance to escape. Anyway, after it was all over
she came crying about how bad this all was which we also felt sorry for her that she had to go through. But
at the same time she did put herself in that situation by drinking, then forgetting about her personal safety &
situational awareness. I am not justifying what this guy tried to do, but it could have been easily avoided by
using good old common sense in the first place.

But I do recommend that everyone who cannot fight should learn some system of self-defence.
It is good to get advice by talking to fighters with MMA background because they can tell you
about the strengths & weaknesses in the different martial arts systems they have studied & used.
Stay safe everyone. :hugs: