Paula_56
08-31-2011, 09:34 AM
I couldn’t sleep the other night so I began to remember, trying to find the earliest recollection, of being transgendered. These are some of the experiences that ran thru my mind. It helps to share them with others who might have had similar experiences. Please feel free to comment or share your own thoughts or experiences. These times and events bond us together into a community
I remember being very young and watching my Mom get ready for work putting on her make-up and doing her hair, the smell of lipstick and hair spray are comforting and bring me back to this time.
I thought about the wedding I went to when I was 5 years old and became so jealous of the flower girl; I still remember that yellow dress.
My first communion, wishing I was on the girl’s side wearing one of those pretty white dresses, praying the host would magically transform me into a girl.
Watching the girls in 2-3 grades go to ballet class after school and thinking why can’t that be me?
When I was 7 or 8 years old seeing a young boy dressed as a girl at a Halloween party and me becoming jealous, I still remember the beautiful, bouffant pink dress, with black Mary-Janes and white tights. He truly wasn’t happy about how cute he looked, Oh I wish I could have taken his place.
It was the spring of 1968, I know because we just got our new car, I was 9 years old and one Saturday morning I went down into my sister’s room and dressed her clothes. It was the first time I dressed as a girl. I knew I was a girl, at that moment, I knew I had to find a why to make everybody understand.
Coming home to an empty house and dressing in my Mom’s and sisters clothes from age 9 until 18.
Having crushes on girls and wishing I could be them or like them.
Feeling embarrassed changing in a locker room full of men
Feeling elated when an Aunt told me light heartedly that I would have made a wonderful girl.
Going to a go-go bar with my friends and feeling sorry for the way the women were being treated.
At 19 years old dressing as a woman for a Halloween party when I was stationed in Germany, and then making out with a guy on a couch in the basement. Holy Shit!
Cashing my first paycheck at 22 years old, and then next thing I know I had bought, pretty black dress with a white collar, pleaded skirt and red bow, and the cutest pair of patent leather pumps, with a 1 ½” heel and a bow in front.
Feeling confused and anxious when I married
Being devastated when my wife called me a pervert.
Finding the internet, and communicating with other transgendered people.
Shaving my legs for the first time
Saving $5.00 a week so I could get a make-up lesson at Vernon’s in Waltham Ma.
Being ecstatic when my wife showed the least bit of acceptance
Getting a Jamie Austin make-over Wow!
Sneaking my clothes out of the house for a business trip
My first time thru a shopping mall in Florida, a black pants suit, cute shoes, and blonde hair.
Working from home one day a week and doing it as a woman
Laying in bed sleepless, wondering……………………………
I remember being very young and watching my Mom get ready for work putting on her make-up and doing her hair, the smell of lipstick and hair spray are comforting and bring me back to this time.
I thought about the wedding I went to when I was 5 years old and became so jealous of the flower girl; I still remember that yellow dress.
My first communion, wishing I was on the girl’s side wearing one of those pretty white dresses, praying the host would magically transform me into a girl.
Watching the girls in 2-3 grades go to ballet class after school and thinking why can’t that be me?
When I was 7 or 8 years old seeing a young boy dressed as a girl at a Halloween party and me becoming jealous, I still remember the beautiful, bouffant pink dress, with black Mary-Janes and white tights. He truly wasn’t happy about how cute he looked, Oh I wish I could have taken his place.
It was the spring of 1968, I know because we just got our new car, I was 9 years old and one Saturday morning I went down into my sister’s room and dressed her clothes. It was the first time I dressed as a girl. I knew I was a girl, at that moment, I knew I had to find a why to make everybody understand.
Coming home to an empty house and dressing in my Mom’s and sisters clothes from age 9 until 18.
Having crushes on girls and wishing I could be them or like them.
Feeling embarrassed changing in a locker room full of men
Feeling elated when an Aunt told me light heartedly that I would have made a wonderful girl.
Going to a go-go bar with my friends and feeling sorry for the way the women were being treated.
At 19 years old dressing as a woman for a Halloween party when I was stationed in Germany, and then making out with a guy on a couch in the basement. Holy Shit!
Cashing my first paycheck at 22 years old, and then next thing I know I had bought, pretty black dress with a white collar, pleaded skirt and red bow, and the cutest pair of patent leather pumps, with a 1 ½” heel and a bow in front.
Feeling confused and anxious when I married
Being devastated when my wife called me a pervert.
Finding the internet, and communicating with other transgendered people.
Shaving my legs for the first time
Saving $5.00 a week so I could get a make-up lesson at Vernon’s in Waltham Ma.
Being ecstatic when my wife showed the least bit of acceptance
Getting a Jamie Austin make-over Wow!
Sneaking my clothes out of the house for a business trip
My first time thru a shopping mall in Florida, a black pants suit, cute shoes, and blonde hair.
Working from home one day a week and doing it as a woman
Laying in bed sleepless, wondering……………………………