busted

[bianncats]

i was in the bathroom washing my hands and my wife gets curious and busts me...black skirt, grey tank, pink bra...her lipstick...first time she has ever seen me...not a good moment, especially after i chatted with her at dinner about being detached emotionally from me....

[Kathy4ever]

Sorry to hear your delima. Now why was she curious about your bathroom time. Were you in there a long time? Now turn the tables and bust in on her.

[Jeanna]

What did she say about using her lipstick? You know you shouldn't have used it without her permission!

[Cynthia Anne]

Ouch! I think it's time for the talk! It had to be quite a surprise to her! So go easy on her! Best wishes to you both!

[Joanna41]

Wow...that must have been really awkward for you both. Def time for that "talk" now. Keep in touch with what happens.

Joanna

[Marcia Blue]

Hang I there girl. Communication is the key. I hope thing work out.

[linda allen]

i was in the bathroom washing my hands and my wife gets curious and busts me...black skirt, grey tank, pink bra...her lipstick...first time she has ever seen me...not a good moment, especially after i chatted with her at dinner about being detached emotionally from me....

You would have to have a very big house to dress and wear lipstick when you are both home and not expect to get caught. And lipstick is something that will get you in trouble easily. It gets on clothing, coffee cups, etc. and leaves evidence.

It's happened now so I wish you the best. It's going to be difficult and that "detached" part is going to weigh in.

[Jessica Ames]

In my opinion, it's key to see if from her point of view. If this is the first time she has become aware of it, she hasn't had the time to adjust and rationalize it like you have, whether you've had these feelings for 6 months or 16 years. That's kind of sensory overload for her, so she isn't going to be able understand it like we do because if you are like me, if crosses your mind a couple times a day and it's given me a lot of time to get comfortable with it.

[Sarasometimes]

Sorry to hear but wasn't the door even locked? Was she home when you started to get dressed? Good luck but that is a rough start. Warning to other closeted here like me. We can all get cuaght no matter how cautious we are but I always try to think things through first. This was high risk all the way ( yes I'm guilty of Monday morning "Lingerie league" quarterbacking).

[DonnaT]

So, what did you do, change after dinner?

Seems you wanted to get caught, or at least get a rush out of the possibility. I would do that when I was little and my mom was still in the house. And yes, I did get caught once.

Good luck with what follows.

[Kaitlyn26]

She probably already knew about it and was emotionally detached from you because you were keeping it from her. After the conversation she decided to bust you when it came apparent that you weren't going to admit it to her.

[Karren H]

Dressing in the bathroom while your wife is home? At least when I did that my wife was asleep (snores really bad) and I locked the door!!

[cdtraveler]

yikes my worst fear. all my best as you work through what comes next. Just remeber - you can't deny who you are and she loved you before she knew the fem part of you.

[vetobob9]

i was in the bathroom washing my hands and my wife gets curious and busts me...black skirt, grey tank, pink bra...her lipstick...first time she has ever seen me...not a good moment, especially after i chatted with her at dinner about being detached emotionally from me....
Why were you using her lipstick? You do know there is a sanitary reason why people are not supposed to use other people's makeup? Then again, if she's your wife, you've probably already shared germs with her so it probably doesn't matter. But still, to just use it without permission?


yikes my worst fear. all my best as you work through what comes next. Just remeber - you can't deny who you are and she loved you before she knew the fem part of you.

But when you marry, you give the other person all of you, not just part of you. You should give them as much information about as is pertinent. I would think that in a simple relationship, you don't necessarily need to talk about crossdressing. But if you are going to marry the person then it definately does need to be brought up.

[Karren H]

yikes my worst fear. all my best as you work through what comes next. Just remeber - you can't deny who you are and she loved you before she knew the fem part of you.

Yeah but more than likely she will not love the "new" you! I think that the chance of her accepting fully is pertty slim... Based on all the stories you read here... Love I not blind.. Or ever lasting.

[Gaby2]

If I compare your story to mine when my Ex busted me (about 13 years ago)... then yours is milder, Biannca.
I'm sure we would still be together (I still love her) if I had confronted my own issues at the time.
But in my ignorance I chose to quietly sit out the storm... and resentment.
It didn't work.
We moved and built a house together, had another daughter together, enjoyed life together but never really found each other again.
Think very seriously about what CDing means to you and share your feelings with your wife.
It's then up to her, whether she loves all of you... or not.
:hugs:Gaby

[ReineD]

You had dinner with her in guy mode, and then you went to the bathroom to wash your hands and while there, you decided to dress and put on her lipstick? There must be more to it than that, so would you fill us in?

I'm with Kaitlyn. If she has no idea you are a CD, then she would have noticed you disappearing for long periods of time. We GGs can weave all kinds of stories in situations like this, that certainly would cause us to become emotionally distant. There's nothing worse than sensing secrets and not knowing what the problem is. Most GGs think their husbands are having affairs. What happened after she caught you? Did the two of you talk about it at all?

If you can come back and expand on what happened a little more, you'll get more targeted advice.

[kristinacd55]

Honey, you weren't just washing your hands. I think it's time for that big communication report for you and your wife. WOWSA!

[3bugs]

i was in the bathroom washing my hands and my wife gets curious and busts me...black skirt, grey tank, pink bra...her lipstick...first time she has ever seen me...not a good moment, especially after i chatted with her at dinner about being detached emotionally from me....

Does this mean she knew, but had never witnessed, you dressing?

[Chrissy.Sexton]

Next time, lock the door and tell her you're on the John.

[Aprilrain]

Next time, lock the door and tell her you're on the John.

Bit late for that don't you think?

[Jenny Beth]

Add me as another one who wonders how you expected not to get caught dressed with your wife so close by. If she is emotionally detached from you this didn't help matters.

[SweetIonis]

You had dinner with her in guy mode, and then you went to the bathroom to wash your hands and while there, you decided to dress and put on her lipstick? There must be more to it than that, so would you fill us in?

Let me break down some Physics for you sweetie!

The great physicist, Max Planck, was the founder of Quantum Physics. What was happening around the end of the 19th century was that physicists were having quite a bit of trouble explaining the radiation emitted by a black body. Planck was able to explain it with his famous Planck's Postulate. What he did was postulate that the total energy of a black body that could be broken down into packets of energy or a QUANTUM of energy. The energy of such a QUANTUM of energy is given by the equation E = h * f, where E is the energy of the QUANTUM of energy, h is Planck's constant, and f is the frequency of the radiation. Mind you Planck did not recognize the FULL significance of his discovery. It was up to the great Albert Einstein to postulate, that in general, light consisted of particles called photons, whose energy obeyed Planck's equation. This was really the true beginning of Quantum Physics.

What I purpose that has happened here, is that this person went into the bathroom and through CD quantum tunneling, miraculously immediately jumped to the state of being fully dressed with makeup!! :heehee:

[alluts]

Well coming out to your wife wasn't going to be easy anyway...at least thats out of the way, now tell her how you'd like to share this part of you with her. You may both enjoy that!