Not sure what to make of this?

[Wendy_Marie]

I had an overnight job..where I drove to a city 3-hours away to transport a client from there back to my hometown of Springfield for an overnight visit...Then I picked him back up and returned him to his placement the following morning.

As my work vehicle was in need of repairs I was instructed by the boss lady Sarah...to take it to a friend of her's Repair Shop/Garage and swap vehicles and then to meet with this other person the following day to get my original work vehicle back after repairs were made.

So after I drop my client back to his placement I get a call from Sarah telling me that she wants to meet up with me so she can introduce me to our Company Marketing Director...a name which escapes me now.

I arrive at the meeting place and Sarah is no where to be seen...I find out later that she got called away at the last minute for a meeting with one of the State Agencies we deal with...But the marketing Director is there and introduces herself to me.

She begins to tell me all about how her job brings us in the buisness and since starting this company a few months ago Sarah has already expanded the clientele and opened up several markets which were currently unavailable to us. She also tells me that she and Sarah have been friends since attending College at Missouri University together 10 years ago and how they have worked together on a couple of jobs and hang out together off the job.

She informed me that "Sarah has told me a lot about you and that if there is a job of a sensitive nature or is critical it be handled delicately and by the book...You are the one she rely's on."

We have young clients who sometimes are known to elope and run...have had it happen a couple times on me...We also have clients who are on some pretty heavy medications at times...as well as kids dealing with their own social identity problems...and in the nearly three years I have done this I have had kids come out to me on many occasions....

She then walks over closer to me and leans in as if she is telling me a secret and she says.."Sarah says too that you are one of the Fun employees...?" This caught me off guard as I have never had any dealings with Sarah outside the realm of Employer/Employee....she does know of my GID and my plans for transition and is supportive so I assumed this is what she was referring to....This is fine with me as I gave Sarah permission to share my story with anyone whom she felt would need to know as it pertained to my employment.

I said to her "Not sure about how much fun I am..!" and she replied..."She said you were one of us, you know...Just One of the Girls!" yep, thats me I thought..I am just one of the girls.....:heehee:

It seemed an odd way of being outed to someone else but this woman is an executive member of the company I work for...and I can see how my boss might have felt it necessary to inform her of my gender status...I guess it just kinda caught me off guard.

I am not going to go out of my way to bring this subject up, but when I get the oppurtunity to do so I am going to mention it to my boss Sarah and see what she has to say about it...for now I am just happy to be working, and working in an environment which seems to be growing more tolerant and accepting with each passing day...at least this is how I perceiving this scenario....But as I stated in the title I am not really sure if I am making the right assumption here?

[Karren H]

Danger Will Robinson!! "Fun" sounds like it equates to sex to me girlfriend!! Be careful!

[Sherina]

Wow Wendy Marie! As I was reading this about half way through the story I thought you were going to say that she hit on you. lol

However, I think that you are correct in your last statement. I too would probably just mention in it in passing while talking to your boss about being sorry that she had to miss out on the meeting.

Sherina

[Karen_Ski]

While you may think this is cute and perhaps even funny Wendy Marie it is not. This is sexual harassment plain and simple! Be careful what you are getting into here because you might find yourself way in over your head faster than you can imagine.

[Wendy_Marie]

At the time I met this woman....I didn't get a sexual vibe off of her at all....If anything I felt more of a "Welcome to the Womens Club" feeling...The type of work I an involved in is largely dominated by Women and in the last two and a half plus years on the job....I have had to deal with only a very few men in this field. It's one of the reasons why I like the job and feel so comfortable in this position.....

On the plus side..if she were really trying to hit on me...(and man would she be so far off base that it isn't even in the same ball field.) I have very little contact with any of the other employees and am more than three hours away from the city in which she lives....so avoiding her should be no problem.

[Shelly Preston]

It may be that she has heard you are so good at the job in a women dominated enviroment she just sees you as one of the girls

I assume Sarah knows but I would not assume anything about what has been said to this lady

[abigailf]

I did not get anything sexual about that story.

Based on what I read ... Sounds like you work in a woman's club and you have just been given the stamp of approval.

Points:
- your boss wanted you to meet one of the execs
- you are told you are one of the people they rely on to get things done.
- you are told you are one of them

These are all signs that your boss wants you to grow your career with them.

I say grab the bull by the horns and go with it girl.

It is okay to befriend your boss and your boss' bosses, it's how you move up your career (and I am not talking sex).

[sterling12]

Careful where you tread! I THINK she was telling you that your boss and she are spending time on The Isle of Lesbos. You have no way to tell if it's true about your Boss, but she invoked Her Name.

When she alluded to your being "A Fun Person," I think she was trying to Hit on you, and she was being careful to see if you were receptive. If your going to bring it up with Your Boss, think of a diplomatic way to handle it, and be very gentle!

Hopefully, there will not be Consequences. This reminds us that it's not just The Men who can do inappropriate things at The Workplace. Sometimes, The Gals can also get way out of line!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[DonnaT]

If she walked over closer to you and didn't touch you, not sexual at all. She was just keeping her knowledge of you on the down low.

If she had rubbed your arm when talking about fun, then maybe.

Relax, don't make a mountain out of a mole hill.

[Wendy_Marie]

Nope she didn't make contact of any kind with me...we were outside and there was no one else around...I felt as though she leaned in just for dramatic effect.

And Yes...My Boss Sarah...who is also the owner of the company knows about me...I made it very clear to her when she called me and asked me to come to work for her that I plan to transition over the next year and she is accepting of the idea....I think know that Sarah treats me differently than she did before...Differently in that she seems to listen to my opinions in a mnner that she didn't before...she also chats with me longer on the phone than she did in the past and sometimes seems content to just kinda shoot the breeze with me for a bit.

I believe that Yes, Sarah confided my situation to this lady on a buisness level and not for any other purpose....I also think that this woman was just trying to let me know in a subtle...*WINK*WINK* manner that she knew about Wendy...and that she approved without having to come right out and say so...Kind of the old "Don't ask, don't tell" mentality!

And I hope that Abigail is right and this is all just a clue that my Boss is happy with my job performance and maybe she has something on the horizon planned for me....She knows of my experience as a Manager and Assistant Logistics Supervisor...Being a Transportation company it may very well be that she hopesto utilize my skill set to further her buisness....

Sarah and I discussed from the beginning what would happen to my employment when I began to change my appearence physically...and she responded by saying that "We would deal with it when the time came."

I will admit though that while Idon't buy into the idea and concept behind subliminal messages...There was something about the conversation that has obviously given me reason for pause..otherwise I wouldn't have felt it necessay to start this thread.

[Nikki A.]

Just do your job to the best of your ability and see where the chips fall. It seems that you're in a good situation and wish you the best

[abigailf]

... your boss and she are spending time on The Isle of Lesbos...


I don't know. I may be opening Pandora's box here and maybe a GG can chime in, but I it seems to me that it is a male mentality that would right away jump to the conclusion that they are lesbians.

[Kaz]

It strikes me that there are many ways to read this and they are all different. So I would just play it straight. If you mention it to Sarah I would be factual, saying that your Exec commented that you are one of the "fun" employees... one of the girls, and see how she responds. It could be totally innocent and just mean you are in the 'in crowd' of valued people. But then again!

[ReineD]

If both women are good friends and see each other socially (whether or not they are lovers), Sarah might have just mentioned that you are transitioning especially if you gave her permission to discuss it. Sarah might just think that you're out to everyone? There aren't all that many people in our day-to-day lives who transition and something like this can be rather newsworthy.

Anyway, there's a possibility, judging by this woman's body language, that she's intrigued by it all and she may even be attracted to transpersons, even if it is not necessarily in a sexual way. She may understand very little about the difference between TSs and CDs, or for that matter, between DQs and CDs, and perhaps she has totally the wrong idea bout you. If she was just welcoming you as a sister, then should would have just said something like, "I hear you're transitioning and I think that great"? Or, she may have many friends who are trans and she wanted to let you know that you can count on support from her.

Obviously these are just guesses and there might be dozens of different motives for this woman's comment. But I would definitely mention the incident to Sarah and ask her what's up, just to make sure that you aren't misreading anything.

And to those who thought so, this was not inappropriate behavior, nor was it sexual harassment. There was no touching, nor any reference to sex acts.

[donnalee]

Wendy, it sounds to me like you have read her conversation correctly. Sometimes, when people are dealing with a subject or situation that's new to them, they'll attempt subtlety and end up jamming their foot firmly in mouth; the more they try extricating said foot, the tighter it jams (God knows I've done this often enough myself). I believe people deserve the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. A slow and thoughtful reaction can save you from the same error.

[Lorileah]

I would not put too much weight on this. She needed to kill time and break the ice. Sarah and she have been friends for a long time. Friends talk and like to talk about things that are not routine. You did give permission to discuss "you". They evidently like your work and how well you do it. I would say at most this is a "We like the job you are doing, you are doing it well, continue and you can be management someday too." conversation.

As much as people's fantasies play, reality is often more benign.

[Wendy_Marie]

You did give permission to discuss "you". They evidently like your work and how well you do it. I would say at most this is a "We like the job you are doing, you are doing it well, continue and you can be management someday too." conversation.

As much as people's fantasies play, reality is often more benign.

this is how I am thinking more and more as I play the whole thing over in my head...I don't really believe there was anything either sexual or intentionally harmful meant.....

[Phylis Nicole Schuyler]

Wendy, it sounds to me like you have read her conversation correctly. Sometimes, when people are dealing with a subject or situation that's new to them, they'll attempt subtlety and end up jamming their foot firmly in mouth; the more they try extricating said foot, the tighter it jams (God knows I've done this often enough myself). I believe people deserve the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. A slow and thoughtful reaction can save you from the same error.

The art or science of sticking ones foot in ones mouth is called Dentapedology. I think my second Ph.D. is this. You never know what is going to come out of my mouth.

[Loni]

sounds like you could be in for a better spot in the corp ladder...but a red flag is also up and flying full on. watch your step as there are many land mines out there.

enjoy the ride but be ready to bail if needed.

[Tina B.]

I don't know, maybe I'm naive, but it sounded to me like she just let you know, your boss likes your work, you are respected for your ability, and you are is a reasonably save position, as they know about you, and accept you as is. After all Trans people have to work too, and many jobs are setting policies to work with the trans community, just maybe Wendy has been lucky enough to find a forward thinking group to work for. As I recall, Wendy told Sarah all about her trans status, and plans to transition before she was given the job, now someone else up the corporate ladder knows, and is supportive. I know we all live with doubts, about how we will be accepted in life, but when something good happens to come a long, don't worry it to death, just enjoy it for what it is, and enjoy being accepted for who you are, isn't that what we all want, and Windy seems to have found that, even in the work place, I think your lucky girl!
Tina B.

[Wendy_Marie]

I don't know, maybe I'm naive, but it sounded to me like she just let you know, your boss likes your work, you are respected for your ability, and you are is a reasonably save position, as they know about you, and accept you as is. After all Trans people have to work too, and many jobs are setting policies to work with the trans community, just maybe Wendy has been lucky enough to find a forward thinking group to work for. As I recall, Wendy told Sarah all about her trans status, and plans to transition before she was given the job, now someone else up the corporate ladder knows, and is supportive. I know we all live with doubts, about how we will be accepted in life, but when something good happens to come a long, don't worry it to death, just enjoy it for what it is, and enjoy being accepted for who you are, isn't that what we all want, and Windy seems to have found that, even in the work place, I think your lucky girl!
Tina B.

Tina...Thank You...and Yes I feel lucky and even more so when I read threads and accounts of others who haven't had such good experiences on the job.