Reasons for Crossdressing

[sidney_girl]

I'm back... Five months later. (I got caught CDing back in June, but that's another story...)

Anyway, I've been reading a number of threads, which ask questions like, "Why do you crossdress?" and "When did you first crossdress?" There are some very interesting posts in those threads (I've posted there myself, by the way), but I now have a slightly different question. I hope that I can express it properly.

Many of us can remember the first time we put on women's (or girls') clothing, and how once we'd done so, we were hooked. But my question goes deeper than that: Why were we hooked? Or: What possessed us to put on those clothes in the first place?

I'm assuming that there's a biological/genetic component to this, but what I'm interested in are environmental factors. Was there an event or something in your childhood that might have pushed you in that direction?

For example, there's my case. In my childhood, there were more women around me than men: sister, mother, grandmother, female babysitters, ladies from church who helped out my family in so many ways (as my mother was bedridden for much of my childhood); while my father held down two jobs, plus attended night classes. Some of these women were very domineering, and seemed to always get their way; while I perceived the men as virtual slaves. (True or not, that's the way I perceived things, and perception is at least as significant as reality in forming the personality.) So, seeing the women in my life being favored above the men, fawned and fussed over, etc., why wouldn't I--unconsciously at first--want to be a woman, at least be treated like one? Here, I believe, was the beginning of my gender confusion.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Personal experiences?

[fionablack]

I know what you mean. What is it that drew us to do it the first time!

For, I think it probably has a lot to do with the strong influence my mother had on my early years. I was with her alone most of the time, and the rest of the time there was always a strong female influence with teachers and aunts etc. Very little male presence in my early life. I was a bit timid and soft as a result and got picked on at school because of this.

Apparently, when I was three years old I went to a girls birthday party and I was the only boy there. I am told that the girls were running around like little tomboys, but I was alone in the corner happily playing with her dolls house. My mother never tires of that story. I have no memory of it of course.

My earliest actual memory of being curious about women's clothes was being on a bus with my mother one day. I think I was about eight years old

A women got on the bus and she had a lovely skirt on. I was transfixed by it, the way it moved and almost took on a life of its own. Then she sat down, as she did so she carefully held her skirt in her hands in such a way that she would not crease it when she sat down. Such a simple act, but i thought it was amazing.

From that day on I think something was drilled in to the back of my mind. On some subconscious level, I think that day I had made up my mind that at some point I was going to wear women's clothes.

That day eventually came when I was eleven years old. An old wardrobe of my mothers had been put in my bedroom due to lack of space elsewhere. One of the many lovely things inside was a divine blue dress. One day, I just was overwhelmed with curiousity. I cannot explain why, but i wanted to know what a dress felt like. So, I couldn't help myself. I tried it on, and as with most of us I was hooked. I instantly knew this was something I would be doing alot.

At the end of the day I cannot explain why I was so fascinated by that woman on the bus and I don't know why I wanted to put that dress on for the first time.

Dressing in women's clothes makes complete sense to me, but I cannot explain why that is the case.

[urban gypsy]

I have 3 older brothers and a older sister who is only 2 years older than me.
And my parents always wanted another girl so my sister had a playmate.
So when I was born I was always treated slightly more girlie and as I grew up my mother always encouraged me to dress differently although not femmine so I have always found that I relate well to ladies in all aspects so it just seems natural that I would want to be one part time.

[kathy gg]

Hi,

I just wanted to comment one little thing. There must be some 'x' factor in some people that others do not have. The reason I say this is because as a gg who was interested in the trans idea I had on many different occasions sort of either asked guys about this who I was with (who were not known cd's..meaning I did not meet them in a cd space). I asked my ex husband if he ever thought about this or indulged. He said he had once tried on a cousins pair of panties, another guy I dated said he had tried on some pantyhose. But wanting to do it again or thinking about it (until I brought up the idea) had never occured to them. Not even because of the 'this is wrong or weird' but just because it did not appeal to them. So I mean there are obviously guys out there who at one point in their lives do some sort of experimentation, but that feeling that most true crossdressers have once they do it, the desire to keep doing it again, well with those other guys it is not present...that 'x' factor.

I mean I only got a handful of non crossdressing guys to admit to doing something with women's items. So I mean I did nto do any scientific study, but they guys knew I was defidnetly into seeing a guy dressed (as a girl) so there woudl have been no uncomfortable feelings of rejection. I know alot of (cd) guys like pretend when they play along for a girlfreind (who suggest crossdressing) that they are being talked into this. But I feel that these guys were being honest with me and really did not want to dress up. There was just nothing about the whole idea that seemed fun/enticing/exciting or sexually appealing.

There is something that you all have that these othesr just dont' get....

oh well my .02
kathy

[bredalee25]

I can remember the very first piece of girls clothing that I put on it was my cousins top. I did this when I was seven we were having a picnic at her house and I told her that I wanted to put it on. So she left the front door unlocked and when everyone was in the back yard I went in the front door and foumd it where she had left it for me. when I put it on I was so taken by the way it made me feel that I just knew I would wear more stuff. That's when I started wearing mom's clothes when ever I got the chance to now I have my own clothes and wear them just about every weekend

[Joanne08]

Hi Sydney,

I don't exactly know what tiggered my attraction to womens clothes but there are some similarities in our stories. I, too, was surrounded by women (still am). I heard stories like when my grandmother, mother and sister dressed me up as a black mammy at 4 years old for halloween. I think this was almost cruel, not to mention racist, to do to a 4 yr old. I say cruel because the story goes that they wanted to do it again but I refused vehemently. My sister dressed me again on several occasions that I do remember. So a little later in life at around 10 yo I used to sneak into my mothers closet and try on her clothes and before my shower I would put on makeup, then wash it off in the shower. I remember having thoughts when putting on clothes or makeup that I would be doing this again. I secretly loved it.

So if there was an environmental factor I sure was exposed to it. What I can't understand is that the first experience for me was not pleasant. Or maybe it was and I only heard the version of the story as they remember it. Or as Kathy point out maybe there is a genetic thing going on here and my exposure to CDing only triggered what was naturally there.

What I am sure of is that whatever is inside of me to crossdress cannot denied. I have truely tried to quit, and was successful for a long time, only to find that once a crossdresser always a crossdresser. I doubt if there is a trigger in our lives to stop stronger than the desire to crossdress.

BTW thanks for your .02 Kathy GG


Love, Jo

[andreaboots]

Wow! Very interesting feedback from you all. This subject of crossdressing is something that I've been exploring for a long time and reading about other folk's experiences gives me a certain level of relief in the sense that I'm ok. It isn't often or at all that we CD'ers get to discuss the origination of our inclination to for some reason(s) to don women's clothing and actually like it!

I really do not remember when my inclination to dress enfemme started but I do know what particular garment really started it all. Boots! I had a pair of brown rubber knee high "Wellies" that my English born mom got for me to wear in the back yard. I do remember the smell of them from the newness right after I opened the box. I was stunned! They looked gorgeous and felt so good on my little legs when I wore them. My father, on the other hand always made sure that I had a pair of cowboy boots to wear and believe it or not my mother saved my very first pair of those cowboy boots! I have them on display at my house now as a humorous conversation piece.

But the smell of the "Wellies" lingered and eventually anything that smelled remotely like them, i.e. new leather, pvc, satin etc. and items of female clothing excited me to no end. I simply could not explain it but something happened to my psyche that remains to this day. I really thought it was very weird and that I was weird but eventually over the years I've developed a taste for women's clothing of a very special nature. I'm referring to the leather, pvc and some rubber garments. Now, at some point in my early years I just happen to discover Betty Page in all her dominatrix finery. Well, two plus two is...?

So, in the end, after much research I've concluded that it is a very common thing for many men to crossdress for many a varied reason and none are negative. I also firmly believe that somehow it is genetically connected for I have discovered things about my family that is somewhat similar in nature. I now do not have a problem as I used to about me dressing enfemme both in street clothes and as a dominatrix. I will always wear spike-heeled boots and rarely shoes with my outfits. I have finally accepted this fact about me and have met a wonderful woman who totally supports me in this area. In fact we have quite a bit of fun with it and I think now that I'm in a little bit of my heaven.

I know for sure that crossdressing is definitely a part of who I am and sincerely, it feels good to be an occasional women!!! I will continue to explore what crossdressing is all about and thouroughly enjoy it at the same time!!! Peace to all!! XXX

[Tiffy]

This may be a little off pace but follow me here. Where does there have to be a reason? I am not saying this to get out of answering this. I am asking because what triggers you to find women sexy? What triggers you to like certain sports? What triggers you to like certain colors? I am not sure there really are answers to all of these. I think it is just in us. Breed and born in us. Why spend all this time trying to figure out why you feel this way. You are not going to just go in and turn it off even if you figure it out. I would worry more about accepting who and what you are, rather than why you are. And why are we hooked? Because it was meant to be. This is my feeling.

April

[JoAnnDallas]

In my case, when I was real young, I was allergic to cotton. I would break out in hives and they always itched. It affected my feet, legs, and torso. The doctor told my mother to wash my clothes in a special solution. This did not seem to help, so my mother made me wear girls panties, pantyhose, and camsols. this allow me to wear my cotton shirts and jeans. She also got satin sheets for my bed. Then around 11- 12 years old, I started out growing my allergy to cotton. My mother then made me start wearing boy underware again. By this time I had discovered that I liked wearing female underware and that my sister's clothes and shoes fit me. When I was alone, I would sneek into my sister's bedroom and put on her clothes. So when mother took my female underware away, it did not matter as I was hooked into CD'ing anyway.
Then later when I was working at NASA Medical Research, I found out that I was a male XXY, which says it all.

JoAnn

[Gemma Rhodes]

Well I grew up in a mainly female orientated house. My dad died when I was 3 and my brother (11 years older than me) left home when I was 10. I was brought up by my mum and my sister (7 years older than me). Although my mum remarried when I was 13 my stepdad worked away for most of the time (he was a contract welder) and worked all over the world. Whether this had any effect on my Crossdressing I don't know but it makes me think sometime what would have happened if I had been brought up by a father and elder brother even though people say that we are born this way and it has nothing to do with the way you are brought up.

Gemma xx

[andreaboots]

You're more than likely very correct April Marie! It is the way we are for sure and I guess we should just accept it. Believe me that it took my whole life up until about three years to accept me the way I am. But, being human, male and curious I still enjoy exploring the "whys", and to some of us that just isn't necessary and that is very wonderful. I'm still learning I suppose as to the continuation of defining myself as to who I really am and I like that very much! By the way you're quite beautiful, I hope that I can continue to develope my appearance as I continue to explore my realm of crossdressing! Kisses to ya and ya'll!

[Sarahgurl371]

Very Interesting question. If we ever figure it out we can write a book that will be for sale right beside The Ultimate Guide To Understanding Women, and we will be fantasticly rich!!!

I was raised in a house where my Mother was the only female around. While I was with her only for my first 1 1/2 yrs, because my Dad was overseas in the Army. So other than that I have no social influence. Obviously I started with my Mothers clothes. I don't know waht caused me to put them on the first time, remember getting caught by her about the age of 6 or 7.

I've read most of the theories, and some make sense and some I do not agree with, especially the one that says we are doing it to degrade women, that couldn't be further from the truth. I personaly think it has a genetic or chromosomal cause or has to to with chemicals in the brain. What else could make a boy who grew up with a very strong Dad and a younger brother want to feel like a girl.

I remember in my teens thinking I wish I was a girl, and still have those thoughts after all this time. I've started to learn that the important thing is self acceptance. What difference does it make what we like to wear? Whats the difference between that and what kind of women we look for, or what is our favorite color etc.

[gennee]

I started crossdressing in July, moving on the urge to try on my SO's clothing. I have been hooked every since. I have always been drawn to things that are different and unusual. Ther were no urges as a child to put on girls clothes. I started a blog emphasizing that everybody, at some point in life, wishes they were someone else. Days later, I had an irresistable urge to be a woman. I was confused at first, but a couple of counselors helped me get straight on what was happening inside me.
I like wearing women's clothing because they are comfortable. I admitted that I am a crossdresser and that, in turn, put me in tocuh with my feminine side. I feel complete and liberated.

Gennee:) :)