Transitioning

[AKAMichelle]

I thought I would ask a very simple group of questions.

How has your transition gone? What is the biggest surprise that you found out after you started? What one of piece of advice to others behind would you give?

[Wendy_Marie]

even though i am only at the beginning of mine I would say....If you are sure...don't wait.

[Aprilrain]

Early transition has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. I feel that i am over the hump now that my name is changed and I am full time however each day brings new challenges. One of my biggest fears was telling my parents, now I'm annoyed when my mom calls me by my old name. An enviable problem for those still not out im sure! I think the biggest surprise was finding out just how accepting people can be. I imagined all sorts of hellish misery if anyone ever found out my "dirty little secret" Now Its hard to remember what the big deal was! which is not to down play the agony of coming out but most of my stress was self generated and unnecessary. I always give the same advice because its good advice and its safe advice. Get a therapist find a support group and start hair removal LAST YEAR!!!!!
good luck all
April

P.S. If your going to have sex you should probably use a condom. just sayin!

[Michelle.M]

Everything that April said is quite true. For me, the decision to transition suddenly gave me clarity of thought and made my way forward in life much easier to see. As time goes on I find my male life to be more, well, not quite disagreeable but less significant and appealing and my new female life more accessible and natural. I get somewhat annoyed at having to go out in boymode (that will stop when I go full time in a few months after leaving active duty), and I am no longer self conscious at allowing myself to enjoy feminine mannerisms while in drab.

The body changes are not yet there as far as curves go, but I am starting to notice better skin and even a return of some of my hairline.

The biggest surprise is how normal and natural the transition feels. Nothing earth shattering or really eventful, but it just seems like I have always been this way. My mind and my soul are starting to get in synch.

[Zenith]

Hit me up on FB chat and I'll answer your questions in private...

One thing...everyone's journey is uniquely theirs...

[Schatten Lupus]

I guess I could say that I am checking to make sure I am double checking my luggage to make sure I have what I need before I begin this journey. But really the only things I am waiting on is money and alittle more time to see what my financial situation with school will be next year. But next year for sure I am starting on electrolysis, therapy, and hormones later in the year so hopefully my beard will be lightened enough to hopefully go a few hours before getting a shadow so that I can go out as a female and not worry a beard outline or heavy makeup to cover it up.

[pamela_a]

I thought I would ask a very simple group of questions.

How has your transition gone? I'm 8 weeks post op tomorrow. How has my transition gone? I couldn't have asked for anything more.


What is the biggest surprise that you found out after you started? After reading all of the horror stories I personally was surprised at how accepting everyone was.


What one of piece of advice to others behind would you give? I would give 2: First, Believe in yourself, don't give other people that much power over your life. Second, deserve it. Do everything in your power to earn what you want. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you.

[Inna]

I have experienced and paid an enormous price for the truth I spoke, paid in tears and sorrow so immense I felt it is humanly impossible to withstand and survive. In fact I am still in the midst of it all, but somehow the will to become her, the wholesome, real and true is giving me just enough strength to hold on to sanity, day after day.
I had attempted suicide at the beginning of it all, I was so ready to go away, but the longer I hold on to hope and see her emerge from the abyss, the more I feel sense of staying here one more day and joy in the light and promise of happiness.

[Rianna Humble]

My transition is going fairly well if a little slowly. Even in my down moments, I could not envisage going back to the way I was before, and I am generally accepted for who I am even though I do get the occasional "sir" on the telephone (not their fault if they can't see me).

For me, the biggest surprise was how well people in the community that I used to serve as a Councillor reacted to the news - to the point of coming up to me in the street to say that if anyone gave me a hard time I should let the speaker know.

Although I agree with the advice that the others have given, my one piece would be that if you are still working, you should prepare those who employ you for what is coming up.

[Badtranny]

Well, I'm one year into my physical and social transition and roughly one year away from full time and the name change and the new job.

I've never been happier in my life. This is the weirdest most wonderful thing I could ever imagine doing, and it astounds me that I distinctly remember thinking that it would never be possible.

It's so sad that we make life's decisions based entirely on speculation and worry. We have no idea what will happen, but we still insist on imagining the worst possible outcome, and then acting accordingly.

My advice comes in two parts; Don't invent things to worry about, and believe in yourself first and last.

Everybody will have an opinion, even those you respect and love. Don't listen. Follow your heart, make your own mistakes, do your own research, make up your own mind. You've spent a lifetime living for other people, now it's your turn. You go.

[Andrea85]

Transition is going great for me. The only surprise I've had is how well I'm accepted by all. I think that's saying something since I'm in the Bible Belt, and lie rather close to one of the largest KKK rally sites, where bigotry runs rampant.

Only advice I ever give to any trans person is never to listen to others. No ones transition is the same, so advice is almost pointless. Unless it's from someone going through the same thing in the same place.

[Melody Moore]

How has your transition gone?
My transition has gone extremely well, I don't have a single complaint about anything.


What is the biggest surprise that you found out after you started?
My biggest surprise would have to be how well I was accepted in general by my best friends
& how quickly my social network of friends has really grown. I wasn't at all surprised about my
family rejecting me - I have always been the black sheep & painted up as something else to my
three kids by their two mothers - so no surprises there, so I was already well prepared for that.

I totally surprised myself by how quickly I settled into my new life as a female, and how easy it was
for me to be totally accepted as a female everywhere I go now after my first year of transition.


What one of piece of advice to others behind would you give?
I think the most important things to have if you are going to transition is a strong faith & conviction
to live life as your true self. I also think it is important to free yourself up from as much baggage as
you can before you even contemplate taking hormones. Being happy is really important in every aspect
& totally content in every aspect of your life is important. If you are smiling, showing confidence about
who you really are, other people will yield & open doors for you while returning the smile. Staying very
positive will draw people to you, where being negative will only repel them. So life will be what we make
it to be and only by the choices & the decisions we make. If you have people dragging you down, get
rid of them, same goes with anything else that is having a negative impact on your life.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

My advice comes in two parts; Don't invent things to worry about, and believe in yourself first and last.

Everybody will have an opinion, even those you respect and love. Don't listen. Follow your heart, make your own mistakes, do your own research, make up your own mind. You've spent a lifetime living for other people, now it's your turn. You go.

Excellent advice and i felt very similar..
That last line is something that i have imprinted on my brain.. the transsexual ends up living a life that is not hers (assuming mtf)... NOBODY does that!!!

a couple things i'd also add is hair removal is so important, and i learned over time that i WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY overdisclosed my situation because i felt so full of excitement about finally doing it..

and that how much you need to listen to others is dependent on your family and work situation... how you handle those things will impact your quality of life post transition

[Wendy_Marie]

Early transition has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. I feel that i am over the hump now that my name is changed and I am full time however each day brings new challenges. One of my biggest fears was telling my parents, now I'm annoyed when my mom calls me by my old name. An enviable problem for those still not out im sure! I think the biggest surprise was finding out just how accepting people can be. I imagined all sorts of hellish misery if anyone ever found out my "dirty little secret" Now Its hard to remember what the big deal was! which is not to down play the agony of coming out but most of my stress was self generated and unnecessary. I always give the same advice because its good advice and its safe advice. Get a therapist find a support group and start hair removal LAST YEAR!!!!!
good luck all
April

P.S. If your going to have sex you should probably use a condom. just sayin!

I would have to say this is about as good of advice as anyone could ever hope to hear...I highlighted the parts that really seem to hit home and mirror within me also.

[arbon]

How has your transition gone?

Kinda stalled right now due to the work situation.


What is the biggest surprise that you found out after you started?

There are a lot of accepting and supporting people out there. I have some good people in my life.


What one of piece of advice to others behind would you give?

Don't wait until it becomes an act of desperation. I had so many excuses why I could not go down this road and I was trying pretty hard to avoid the whole ordeal. I used to tell myself I was going to get through life as a guy. But eventually living with all the shame and self loathing became unbearable and suicide seemed like a reasonable solution - there were a couple of times when I detached and was playing it out in my head, it was weird, and scary - so I felt like trying to transition was a last ditch effort. The timing was horrible as we had just adopted our daughter and my income was dropping fast. I wish I had been willing to deal with it sooner and in a more reasonable and rational manner. I don't think it should be put off until it becomes that critical.

[Laura Evans]

I am a relative junior to this process. I have just started counselling to get permission to start HRT's. I have however been out in public for several years and comfortable with it, electrolysis for two years now. Work is not an issue since I am retired. My counselor thinks we can move relatively fast since I have been doing some of the preliminary work. I want to move on but often have doubts about it and afraid I may regret it later. Hopefully I can work those issues out with the counselor. More recently I have come out to more people and like others have said it usually is well taken and a few told me how courageous it was for me to come out. I will try to stay out of my head since that is where most of my doubts come from.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Im one happy woman and glad I transitioned to the beautiful woman I m today.

[Kathryn Martin]

I thought I would ask a very simple group of questions.

How has your transition gone? What is the biggest surprise that you found out after you started? What one of piece of advice to others behind would you give?

I began transition in August 2010. I started electrolysis in October 2010, began hormones in November 2010 and transitioned to full time on the first of April, 2011. I had a very clear and developed transition roadmap laid out with at least 2 contingency alternatives for every step and decision we took. I have just received my letters for surgery and am scheduled for GRS in Montreal end of May 2012.

I am fortunate, because even though I am 6'4" I always was fine boned relatively hairless on my body and have been female in my behaviors and speech patterns long before I transitioned. I now pass without a second glance. What surprised me most though is that people take their clues from me. When I made the decision to go ahead my spouse told me to keep my head up, shoulders back and smile. This has become my motto, and alas it leaves no room for speculation. I remained in my town, I have lost no clients and my colleagues have been nothing short of amazing. My community has accepted me as I am even though it knew me before and knows me now. That was the greatest surprises.

My advice for all that must transition is to be sure that you must, plan carefully, and once you have set foot on that path stick with it and be confident, confident and confident. It's worth it and so are you.

[JennyA]

The best advice I can give is this:

You are the only person who goes to bed at night and has to address and deal with the things you did and saw that day. The 'angry at his own sexuality guy' , who yells things out a car window at us, is going to go to sleep tonight and never think of you again. That evil lurking person that we envision yelling damning things at us in grocery stores and such is very rare and if in fact someone does make comments at you: 1.) you will never see them again 2.) by their own mean comments, it is almost a nice filter. A way for the assholes to announce to the world that they are assholes and that we want nothing to do with them, ever.

[CharleneT]

Have a plan for your transition, and be willing to throw it out the window when you have to. Things can happen in unpredictable ways. As many above have said, it is yours, don't let other dictate your path. If you need to slow down, don't be afraid to do so. Don't rush ahead until you really feel ready. Just because Susie did something in X period of time doesn't mean you need to. Follow your heart more than the notes in this forum ;)