What % are truly hetero

[CINDYO]

Hi all
i am new to cding, recent revelation to me. now i am trying to aquire and learn as much as i can. My question is- What % of CDers do you think are truly hetero.My SO say he is, but i am wondering about this. It seems like a strange thing for a heterO guy to do (and trust me i really hope that he is straight, otherwise my life changes for the worst). thanks for your imput. CINDYO

[Maija]

I can only speak for me, but I am only attracted to women. I want to look like a woman, sometimes I even think I want to have a woman's body, but the idea of being with a man holds no interest for me at all.

[Raychel]

I think you would be very surprised at the percentage of crossdressersthat are completely hetro. I can certainly tell you of a few. Some that have been happily married for many years. I know for sure that I am 100% hetro.

[AllieSF]

So everyone says here, the vast majority of MtF CD's are heterosexuals. There are a few, a minority as far as I can tell that are gay and admit it, and I would guess a lot of Bi-curious and bi. I have no idea how long you have been with your SO and how long he has been dressing and how old you both are. I personally would not worry about it until he gives you significant reasons to think otherwise. Good luck.

[whowhatwhen]

I don't think it's strange, all men have a feminine side whether they want to admit it or not.
If he says he is straight then more than likely he is telling the truth and just expressing his feminine side.

[Babette]

Cindyyo, it probably doesn't matter what percentage of all CDs are truly hetero. Your SO's sexual orientation is all that should matter. Unless he has done something else to make you wonder, you will need to take his word for it. For the record, I am 100% hetero and have been happily married to my best friend for a long time. I see no reason to change.

Babette

[oclare]

43-years married to the same woman. (She knew before we tied the knot.) Now we have four adult children and seven
grandchildren. 100% Hetero.

[CINDYO]

I have been with him for more than 24 years and i had absolutely no idea. I was totally shocked, He has never even seemed anything but male. He does not like to shop, decorate for christmas or care how i choose home decor. He has been very sensitive to me always and i suppose looking back now with 20/20 vision maybe he was more in tune to how a girl feels than so other guys would be. We are in our 50's that is probably why i am so shocked at this news. I really don't see anything femme about him. i have never really questioned his masculinity. i qm quite confused but i never want to live without him. he is my solemate and i hape and pray we stay that way, it will be a work in progress that is for sure. thanks

[Roxann]

I agree with AllieSF, i know i'm only attracted to women, just love women makeup, clothing and looking 100% female

[Natalie D]

I'd say I was truly hetero! I have a strong feminine side to me and that's why I dress. Although I'm single now I've never had any interest in men. I have children and my two partners I've lived with have both been women.

[Maria 60]

I think that if my SO thought i wasn't straight my life would change for the worst to. It's funny you ask this question because just today i was doing my thing in a dirty construction washroom and thinking about the weekend. This was the first weekend both kids went away and i was dressed almost all weekend. So i was sitting there all dirty and my boots full of mud and thinking, WOW! yesterday i had on red nail polish and a beautiful pink dress on, looking like a princess and look at me today. Almost a thought of, what made me dress like that yesterday, and even if i told my co-workers about the weekend they wouldn't even believe me. I almost don't believe it myself at times. I love being a father a husband and a man, but i also love when i get the opportunity to dress as a woman. You figure it out, cause i can't. There are a lot of hetero crossdressers, but we all have our own idea on how far we want to take it.

[Darlene-VA]

Getting ready to turn 56 shortly and I have always been with women and unless I had a sex change the thought of being with a man just does not work for me. But dressing and being out as a woman is what makes me complete.

[JohannaSophia]

Married 44 Years, 100% Hetero, Monogamous. I am not sexually attracted to men and think the female form one of God's most beautiful creations. I would jump to experience the Gender but only temporarily because my Soulmate would never do a permanent switch. JohannaSophia

[prettytoes]

I have been married for 26 years...I love to look at beautiful women (especially my wife!). I have no desire whatsoever to be romantic in any way with a man. I simply enjoy the way women's clothing fits and feels; I love the colors, patterns, fit, and feel of the soft silky material. It just feels natural and right for me to wear women's clothing. I often wish it wasn't this way, but it is. (Read my thread titled "trying to understand")

[Maria 60]

I have been married for 26 years...I love to look at beautiful women (especially my wife!). I have no desire whatsoever to be romantic in any way with a man. I simply enjoy the way women's clothing fits and feels; I love the colors, patterns, fit, and feel of the soft silky material. It just feels natural and right for me to wear women's clothing. I often wish it wasn't this way, but it is. (Read my thread titled "trying to understand")

Well said, and so true. Thank for shining some light on this.

[Chickhe]

I am, I'm married, have a daughter. I like doing guy stuff...fixing cars, boat, camping, renovating, electronics, computers, farting, but yet I also am really facinated by dressing up as a female... go figure. Its a shame really that it too me so many years to feel unashamed of it because now I see it for what it is, just a fun activity...my wife enjoys it too!

[Jessica Ames]

I can understand that it's easy to get gender-identity and sexual orientation mixed up. Traditions are hard to shake! I found (with the help of talking with my wife) that my desire to dress as female comes from my adoration of females. I think woman are so much more attractive and sexy then men are. So, part of me wants to experience feeling that attractive and I can only see feeling that way through portraying the ones that I find so beautiful...women.

[Pythos]

Cindyo,

You are conversing with, while reading this a male that loves feminine styles INTEGRATED into a male style. I prefer to not wear forms, and just like to have a mix of the two genders.

I Love women. I have suffered for the love of women. Have gone through a lot when it comes to the affection of a woman.

There are times I wish I had some kind of attraction to men, but I don't. I like how women look, I like most of their features (though I admittedly have an idealized image I look for), and I love their styles. I love to dress sexi, and see no reason guys should not have that same freedom, as women do.

If I could choose to wear a skirt suit for a formal event over a tux, it would be the skirt suit. :P

[AllieSF]

Cindy, Let me welcome you to this forum. When you get your 10 posts you can join the FAB (Female at Birth) section which is only for GG's (genetic girls). There are many wonderful women there who can help privately if necessary. Good luck and just be patient and try to understand as best possible before making rash decisions or making statements to your SO that you both may regret.

[RenneB]

I am so with Chickhe. I've been down on one knee and picked up a SO, made some biological replacements and still love the time alone when I can be the inner me. I work on cars, trucks, and other guy stuff, but am most facinated with the fem side of life. 'would love to be out in the open with all, but some things just aren't meant to be...

Renne.....

[NathalieX66]

Sexuality and gender identity are mutually exclusive. Neither are necessarily related, if at all.

The fact that I often prefer to present as female doesn't really have much to do with who I prefer to spend time in bed with.

Me doing girly things is akin to Danica Patrick driving race cars, and women in combat missions.

[Sophie86]

Hi all
i am new to cding, recent revelation to me. now i am trying to aquire and learn as much as i can. My question is- What % of CDers do you think are truly hetero.My SO say he is, but i am wondering about this. It seems like a strange thing for a heterO guy to do (and trust me i really hope that he is straight, otherwise my life changes for the worst). thanks for your imput. CINDYO

What do you mean by truly heterosexual? Except for a couple of incidents as a teen that I chalk up to being horny and opportunistic, I've never had sex with another male. I do sometimes have homoerotic fantasies, but I figure they're the sort of fantasies that I wouldn't find as enjoyable in real life. I've never been in love with a man, but I've been falling in love with girls since kindergarten. If I ever did have sex with a man, it would just be sex, because I'm not emotionally or spiritually attracted to men.

So... is that truly heterosexual?

I usually say that I'm about 80% heterosexual--but maybe it would be more accurate to say that I'm about 50% heterosexual male, and 30% lesbian female. The important thing, as far as my wife is concerned, is that I'm 100% monogamous. That's what really counts, right?

You can't draw conclusions about your husband from my experience, but statistically, the majority of crossdressers are heterosexual. If he's telling you that he likes women, it's more than likely that he's telling the truth.

[Schatten Lupus]

Most CD's are hetero. There have even been several studies conducted to back the claim up. There are also alot of gay and bi CD's, but the majority are hetero, many of which are married and have kids.

[Momarie]

But as a woman who has known a man for decades and then finds out he has been with another man, either with another cross dresser or a guy who couldn't admit he was attracted to his male parts....what is she to think?

And PLEASE don't give me the "Male Lesbian" rhetoric, it may be true for one in a million but not true for all who want to hide when it suits them.

[Marie-Elise]

I can only speak for me but I am 100% heterosexual. I love to dress like a woman but, if I was born a woman, I would be lesbian.

[NathalieX66]

But as a woman who has known a man for decades and then finds out he has been with another man, either with another cross dresser or a guy who couldn't admit he was attracted to his male parts....what is she to think?

And PLEASE don't give me the "Male Lesbian" rhetoric, it may be true for one in a million but not true for all who want to hide when it suits them.


Valid point.

In the words of sex columnist Dan Savage (who is gay, btw) , what people seek is not deviation, but variation.
I won't be the first to admit that some CD'ers find thrill in the roleplay with having sex with a man, they exist.
Not my thing. .....that's just me.

I don't know if this applies to your male friend, but I get the sense that some people are just complicated.

My explanation of me is simple: I just want freedom to express myself, and i don't like the rules society imposes on people without justifcation. I'm about as boringly monogamously hetero as it gets.

[Sophie86]

Some statistics on infidelity.

http://infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html


Percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 57%

Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 54%

Based on statistics, if a woman has a husband who is either heteroflexible or bi-curious, the chance that he will have an affair with another man is greater than zero. But given that such a man is mostly attracted to women, the chance that he will have an affair with another man is still considerably less than the chance that he will have an affair with another woman.

Another statistic:


Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53%

If people started making decisions based on what might happen, then no one would get married. :)

[Cari]

Cindy my personal theory is that as crossdressers we are a small segment of the population within our segment all types are represented.
I believe that among crossdressers you could pick any demographic and the break down would pretty much be the same as in the whole population.
The only exceptions would be that I think CD's are more Liberal, smarter, funnier and beter looking than the whole population :-)

[sissystephanie]

I am a man, and certainly truly hetero!! As a matter of fact, I will say with all sincerity and honesty that the only lady I ever had sex with was the lady I was married to for almost 50 years! I sincerely doubt that many CD's can state that!! I guess it was the way I was raised!!

[Gillian Gigs]

My sexuality has nothing to do with my clothing habits. I am a married guy and happily married to the same woman, since forever. I can not get the clothes that I like to wear outside of the womens department section of most stores. They are only clothes, and they cover my "birthday suit", so why shouldn't I get to enjoy what I wear? If some guy wanted to wear a camo shirt and pants, why can't I wear a cami, and panties?

[Alice B]

Women are also the only thing in my interest level. And specifically my wife. Not interested in men and there are a very large portion of CD'ers that are the same as me.

[docrobbysherry]

I have been with him for more than 24 years and i had absolutely no idea. I was totally shocked, He has never even seemed anything but male. He does not like to shop, decorate for christmas or care how i choose home decor. He has been very sensitive to me always and i suppose looking back now with 20/20 vision maybe he was more in tune to how a girl feels than so other guys would be. We are in our 50's that is probably why i am so shocked at this news. I really don't see anything femme about him. i have never really questioned his masculinity. i qm quite confused but i never want to live without him. he is my solemate and i hape and pray we stay that way, it will be a work in progress that is for sure. thanks

Cindy, I can only tell u about me. But, I do have something in common with your SO. I started dressing in my 50's. I'm pretty sure I'm not gay, because I've never been attracted to male parts, including my own!

However, because I'm attracted to females, crossdressers that APPEAR TO BE EXTREMELY FEMALE r attractive to me! If the same is tru for your SO it's something for u to watch. I've read about MANY CDs here that have fantasies about "being with a man or another CD". Not saying that could happen to your SO, just sayin' keep an eye out.

[sandra-leigh]

My question is- What % of CDers do you think are truly hetero.

This is something that is difficult to get numbers for. Many CD's will not admit to anyone that they "cross-dress", not even in anonymous surveys. The number who will further admit that they are bi or gay is even smaller. Even just to get realistic CD-ing figures, the surveys often have to approach the question indirectly, such as asking "have you ever worn your wife's underwear?". Still, the survey numbers are all over the place even for that, with some researchers reporting percentages as low as 0.01% (in in 10000) for crossdressing, and other researchers reporting figures as high as 60%! There are some approximate figures about the prevalence of cross-dressing that been found in several surveys, but I myself personally know more crossdressers in my city than the survey rates would suggest.

To get from there to how many are "truly hetero"... well, it's something no-one can really answer.

Myself, as I get older, I know less and less. Things that I used to know, I've asked myself "Oh? How can you really be sure? 'Never' is a pretty long time, and a pretty absolute statement. Things change, people change, circumstances change: who are you to say 'Never'?" And so it is that I no longer know that some kind of sexual interaction with a male is out of the question for me. It just seems more than a little unlikely.

[DebbieL]

I consider myself a lesbian.
I was told that your sexual identity and sexual preference are typically established very early, usually when you first start getting sexually aroused. If you imagine yourself as a man having sex with a woman, (or vice versa), then you are hetero. If you are a woman and you imagine having sex with a man, you are hetero. If you are a man and you imagine yourself as a man having sex with a man, then you are gay.

Being transgendered complicates things. If a boy imagines himself having sex as a woman with a man, it's actually a heterosexual fantasy.

In my fantasies, I'm a beautiful woman with long hair, a satin blouse, short skirt, stockings, and heels. I'm dancing with a woman in a similar outfit and we go somewhere to make love - like two women. Even in real life, I prefer using a magic wand on my "clit" while covered by tight panties and to lesbian things with my partner. Regular intercourse doesn't even make the "top 20".

Often transgendered heterosexual men who are only attracted to women, will have fantasies of sex with men, but would be more inclined to limit these experiences to something involving a strap-on rather than a real man.

[DebbieL]

I don't remember the exact survey, but the most commonly quoted number I've heard is that roughly 75% of all cross-dressing men are exclusively attracted to women.

[Meg East]

According to the "experts" most cder are heterosexual. For me, 50 of my 60+ years have been as a cd. Have been married to the same woman for almost 39 years. Hey we have an interest together; buying skirts and shoes.

Don't fall for the stereotype that a guy in a dress must be gay.

[JohannaSophia]

That is well said Jessica. JohannaSophia
I can understand that it's easy to get gender-identity and sexual orientation mixed up. Traditions are hard to shake! I found (with the help of talking with my wife) that my desire to dress as female comes from my adoration of females. I think woman are so much more attractive and sexy then men are. So, part of me wants to experience feeling that attractive and I can only see feeling that way through portraying the ones that I find so beautiful...women.

[BiancaEstrella]

The clothing I like to wear has nothing to do with whom I like to take to bed.

I've only liked to sleep with women -- can't even wrap my brain around sleeping with a man -- and wearing a dress & heels doesn't change that.

I empathize with the GLBTQ community but then, I empathize with everyone so long as their heart is in the right place.

[Kaz]

Cindy, there is a lot of information on this thread. I am not sure that the stats will help you as your SO could be anywhere within them and you probably don't know where he is. Second guessing doesn't help, though I can appreciate that you want to be prepared for whatever... My experience of being in our fifties is that we start to question a lot about our lives. Some of us want to stick to what we know and trust and some of us want to explore things that we have held back all our lives. In my experience most CDs are hetero. Those that are gay knew it from an early age.

From my own perspective, when I get into female mode in my head (whatever that means) I fantasise about what it must be like to be a woman with a guy, and to be honest, some of my dreams/fantasies are quite graphic, but I have never been with a guy and am just not interested in real life. I am attracted to women, and my CDing is probably an expression of that. I am SO attracted to women that I want to share their world.

I hope that makes sense?

[PetiteDuality]

Statistics are useless to answer the questions, doubts and fears you have.

It doesn't matter if 99% of CDers are gay or straight. You only care about your guy.

Just ask him, and let him know how you feel.

[Aki Aizawa]

I can understand that it's easy to get gender-identity and sexual orientation mixed up. Traditions are hard to shake! I found (with the help of talking with my wife) that my desire to dress as female comes from my adoration of females. I think woman are so much more attractive and sexy then men are. So, part of me wants to experience feeling that attractive and I can only see feeling that way through portraying the ones that I find so beautiful...women.

Its the same for me. I'm attracted to women so much I want to have a bit of it for myself. If the medical techniques and were to dramatically improve in the future I would have a close look at transitioning but the way they are now I think I would be unhappy with the results. After saying all that I would still only be attracted to women even if I were transgendered.

[donnalee]

From what I've been able to observe on this forum, the sexual preferences are about identical in percentage to the general population of males. Gender identity does not correspond to sexual preference; there seems to be little or no correlation. Plus there are certain advantages for an SO; increased empathy, a better sense of form, color and, hopefully, appropriateness of dress (something you can assist him with; he will be VERY grateful, if approached diplomatically). Look at this as an opportunity to become even closer. If he wanted to leave, he would have done this long ago. If you're curious, my SO and I were together for 44 years until I lost her in June. She knew as soon as I did, but it took ME 50 years to figure it out (yeah, I know, slow on the uptake).
Best wishes,
Donna

[suzy1]

I am the same as Debbie.
I do have a feminine side. Suzy is a part of who I am.
But Suzy is 100% lesbian.
That should put your mind at rest I would have thought Cindy.

Best wishes, SUZY

[SallyS]

20 years of marriage and 4 kids. I NEVER once slept with anyone other than my wife during that time!
As I've got older the CD'ing has become more of a relaxing past-time, not such a sexual part of me.

Technically I am a 100% practising hetro guy, who likes to put on a dress every now and then:)

But those who are not....well then that's their life choice....and I'm sure most are happy with that?

[Katie83]

My wife asked me the same question when i told her about Katie. I think am 100% hetero. I love my wife very much and have no interest in being with anyone else. Katie is just a fun part of me, not really any different to liking classic cars etc. Unless your husband has given any reasons to think otherwise i would believe him when he says that he is straight.
Katie

[CINDYO]

Thanks everyone for the replies to my question % really hetero. I am listening and I do believe that he is straight. It is only difficult in the sense that i feel he did not tell me this secret till now and we have been married for 24 years so i wonder is this all there is or is there more that he has not told me. You are right i will have to live and watch and hope to restore the trust that i thought we had for our entire relationship. i will hope for the best and i will quietly deep inside know that i have to in someway prepare for the worst, hoping all the while that it will never happen.

[erickka]

I'm another who ONLY likes WOMEN. I don't care if they're drop dead model gorgeous or the girl next door type, I love them all!

[Kate T]

CINDYO

100% hetero. Never any interest in men or male anatomy.

You have had a trusting loving relationship for 24 years. Talk and talk, I think that your love of each other will mean that he will not lie. This is going to be his deepest and darkest secret. He has now told you. He has probably struggled with the question of whether he is gay or not and hopefully has the answer only he can know. He has humbled and exposed himself completely by telling you of this so I do not think he would try to keep any further secrets.

Talk, love, believe. If you love each other enough you will overcome any hurdles.

[jillleanne]

100% hetero. here also. Sometimes the internet can be misleading in that, often you see upfront, the cd'ers or more precisely, gender enhanced people that may be transitional in nature that are not hetero, i.e., porn sites, etc. because they committed to earning a living the best way they know, etc. in furthering their plight to GRS, SRS, etc, for example. Another misleading event is any PRIDE parade. These sorts of parades in my opinion, shed a negative light on crossdressing overall, and mislead the public, ie, walking with a dark beard wearing a tu-tu-(sic) and leotards in ballerina slippers. One has to keep in mind the majority of cd'ers are still in the closet and to try to guage what % is what, is near impossible , not that it should matter in a perfect world, but for most, it still does. I'm fortunate enough to finally be out of the closet so I walk without fear of being 'discovered' and it feels wonderful. I care not what anyone thinks, it's my life.

[*Vanessa*]

Valid point.

In the words of sex columnist Dan Savage (who is gay, btw) , what people seek is not deviation, but variation.
I won't be the first to admit that some CD'ers find thrill in the roleplay with having sex with a man, they exist.
Not my thing. .....that's just me.

I don't know if this applies to your male friend, but I get the sense that some people are just complicated.

My explanation of me is simple: I just want freedom to express myself, and i don't like the rules society imposes on people without justifcation. I'm about as boringly monogamously hetero as it gets.

I totally agree. The moment there is any hint of a shelf or box I am heading in the other direction. Like most I thought I was 100% hetro. That is until the last few years have rolled around and changed me as I got more comfortable with being me. It is more from the heart/mind/emotional then physical male-on-male that blurs my mind. I don't know who or what I am so I must be bi (to try fit into the closest box). When my wife and I would have adult relations at times we would both reverse roles. Frankly it was wonderful. I've never been with a man, I don't look at men in that way, but if the opportunity came along I know I would let it happen, just to see and feel the cerebral fireworks. If I have lived for eons of past lives then I have been female for many of them. Bottom line, I think this is why I have a lot more focus on me as a person then me as a crossdresser.

[BlondeFarrah]

My wife and me have the fantasy to be a couple of lesbians. As she is my Mistress and the only being human I 'm attracted for , I could say Im 100 % hetero

[Tina B.]

Cindy, you must be tired of hearing the same old broken record, but I'm another, I've dressed since I was a small child, I'm in my late sixty's now, and I have never had any thoughts of making love with a man, just not in to it. I've been married to for 40 years and in that time, I've never thought about making love to any other women either, oh I look, and admire, but never think about doing anything about it. Besides, I think it would be hard to pick up a strange women, while wearing lace panties, and nylons.lol You've been married for twenty years, you just got surprised by a really big secret, I'm sure your husband hated keeping that secret from you, but many of us are filled with so much fear about how we will be accepted, it can be really hard to risk the results of telling, I know we should, but it is hard to do. But don't make the mistake that most make, sex and gender are not the same, I'm a macho type guy, that no one would think had a feminine thought in his head, even my own kids would be blown away by it. I was a trucker, did time in the service, and all those macho things, but at home, I love things that are soft, and pretty, and feminine, and after all this years, knowing it's something, I must do, I still have no idea, why, or where it comes from, but I know it's who I am, and I could not find happiest without it. I hope the two of you can work this out, where you can both be happy.
Tina B.

[CaitlynRenee]

All men are at least a little bit female. After all, guys have both X and Y chromosomes. Some may be even a little bit more or less female.

As for erotic fantasies?? I'll bet there are more men that do, than men that don't fantasize about sex with another man. The reality might be something that a particular man might find totally fantastic and enjoyable. On the other hand, that person might find the actually having sex with another man as unpleasant. I would venture to suggest that male nature being what it is, many CDs would enjoy any male sexual encounter embellished by the presence of a gorgeous female as well.

Hey, just saying................

[suchacutie]

Hi Cindy.

Let me add even more to this "broken record". I had no idea I was transgendered until I was 55. At that point I had been married for 32 years. My wife and I discovered Tina together. Again, with that hindsight one can see glimpses of Tina in our marriage and in my life, but intimacy interest has always been women, and for the last 38 years that woman has been my wife. Tina is clearly a part of me! Oh, btw, my wife is also hetero so she has no interest in Tina as far as intimacy is concerned.

Yet, she and I talk about Tina as a third person. Tina and she talk about my male side as a third person. Just because Tina appeared doesn't mean that I have any interest in any one outside of our marriage! The fact is that my wife now has a husband and a girlfriend and our discussions about what it's like growing up as a girl, what it's like to live as a woman, and all the other details that husbands and wives never get a chance to talk about have enriched our relationship.

For us, the revelation of Tina has been amazing. You might find it to be just that as well!

Best wishes and welcome to our not so little group!

tina

[JamieG]

Since no one can claim to have accurate statistics, I'll add another piece of anecdotal evidence:

I've only ever been attracted to women. Married for 10 years, and I told my wife about my CDing in the second year (and wish I had told her before we married). I am 100% monogamous. We have two beautiful children together. Because I no longer have anything to hide from her, we are closer than ever.

[Lorileah]

I don't know if the thread is still available but we used to have the ability to poll and the breakdown was like 2% gay, 48% Bi and 50% hetero. So saying the majority are straight isn't really true. Bi can cover a huge variation of people tho and really straight can too as if you read threads here many who claim to be straight have bi fantasies

[kimdl93]

as many earlier respondents have already noted, it doesn't really matter what proportion of CDers are straight, bi or gay. That has no bearing on an individual's sexual orientation. The OP already has an answer from her SO - who was honest enough to acknowledge his CDing - so its reasonable to believe that he'd also be honest about his sexual preferences.

[Sophie86]

I don't know if the thread is still available but we used to have the ability to poll and the breakdown was like 2% gay, 48% Bi and 50% hetero. So saying the majority are straight isn't really true. Bi can cover a huge variation of people tho and really straight can too as if you read threads here many who claim to be straight have bi fantasies

That's why I always give my sexual orientation as a percentage. :)

Some people interpret bi to mean that one must be equally attracted to either sex. Others can interpret it to mean having any attraction at all towards the same sex. The distinction can be important if the person's attraction is so strong that he feels his life is not complete unless he is able to have both types of sexual experience.

It would be interesting to see the poll done again but with categories for heteroflexible or bicurious. It would also be interesting to see how many have acted on the attraction vs. just using it as an erotic fantasy.

[ReineD]

Thanks everyone for the replies to my question % really hetero. I am listening and I do believe that he is straight. It is only difficult in the sense that i feel he did not tell me this secret till now and we have been married for 24 years so i wonder is this all there is or is there more that he has not told me. You are right i will have to live and watch and hope to restore the trust that i thought we had for our entire relationship. i will hope for the best and i will quietly deep inside know that i have to in someway prepare for the worst, hoping all the while that it will never happen.

Cindy, you've just encapsulated in one small paragraph the aggregate feelings of GGs who find out about the CDing after years of marriage. Many CDs here think their wives' disapproval is more about a dislike of the CDing and maybe this is true for some GGs, but it is overwhelmingly true that the biggest complaint is the loss of trust resulting from having been lied to.

As to your question, you've seen the answers in this thread and also please consider that your husband has been with you for 24 years. This is a pretty good indication he is hetero. :) And if he hasn't cheated it is not likely he will start cheating now, least of all with men.



I don't know if the thread is still available but we used to have the ability to poll and the breakdown was like 2% gay, 48% Bi and 50% hetero. So saying the majority are straight isn't really true. Bi can cover a huge variation of people tho and really straight can too as if you read threads here many who claim to be straight have bi fantasies

The 48% bi figure .. how much of this was fantasy, or a desire to be treated as a woman by a man in order to enhance feelings of femininity? There are just so many posts here that relate fantasies of being with men as being more about "feeling" or "being" a woman than an actual attraction to males. The men in these fantasies are faceless. They are just props.

Not saying there aren't bis here, just saying that I think 48% is on the high side. But then it's impossible to measure this accurately. Honestly, if there are studies about the percentage mix of sexual orientation among men in general, I'd say the same percentages would apply to CDs.

[suzy1]

Can I just add one more point here? Not everybody will agree with me I know.
Can we really be so hard on a man for hiding his C.Ding from his wife?
I know its wrong but it’s also very easy to understand.
It’s hard to ask a wife to go on trusting her husband after keeping such a secret but with a secret like this perhaps understandable.


SUZY

[BlondeFarrah]

There are just so many posts here that relate fantasies of being with men as being more about "feeling" or "being" a woman than an actual attraction to males. The men in these fantasies are faceless. They are just props.



So true. Usually, there is nothing with the man by his own.

[Jessica86]

Tack one up for hetero. I'm married with a two year old son. My wife and son are wonderful! I wouldn't trade them for the world. I do think that every guy/girl has questioned their sexuality one time or another. That does NOT make them gay or bi. They have to make a decision on what THEY like. Nothing wrong with personal preference.

[WandaRae2009]

I have been married for 27 years and fully enjoy using my man parts making love to my wife. I am only attracted to women. I have no desires of any kind to be with a man. I guess that makes me hetero.

[Jenniferathome]

Cindyo, i suspect that perhaps as many as 90% are straight, 2% transgendered and only 3% are gay. Gay men like "men" not women. My wife asked me the very same question when I came out to her. I actually thought it was funny that she could think I was gay! Of course, it is a fair question, I mean I had just told her that I like to wear women's clothes but I had had decades to come to grips with my cross dressing. I highly recommend you talk about it often and get as comfortable with this as you can. It's fair for you to ask anything. good luck

[kellycan27]

I don't know if the thread is still available but we used to have the ability to poll and the breakdown was like 2% gay, 48% Bi and 50% hetero. So saying the majority are straight isn't really true. Bi can cover a huge variation of people tho and really straight can too as if you read threads here many who claim to be straight have bi fantasies

I am a little skeptical about that 80% hetero statistic. Look at all the closeted cd's and cd's who hide the fact from their SO's.. or go to great lengths to hide it, and suddenly they are going to be truthful about their sexuality? I think that the poll you mention might be closer to correct.

[ReineD]

Instead of guessing, here are some statistics. Anyone is welcome to post additional statistics:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_sexual_orientation


US (2011): 3.5% gay or bi, which leaves 97.5% hetero. Percentage of total pop that is TG = .3%.


UK (2010): 1% gay, .5% bi, which leaves 98.5% hetero (with 3% "don't know").


Australia (2003): 2% gay, 1% bi, 97% hetero (with 8% bi curious).


Canada (2003): 1% gay, 1% bi, which leaves 98% hetero.


Denmark (1992): 3% gay or bi, which leaves 97% hetero.


France (1992): 4% gay or bi (at least one experience), which leaves 96% hetero.


Norway (1998): 3% gay or bi (at least one experience), which leaves 97% hetero.

I really find it hard to believe that as much as 50% CDs would be gay or bi based on these figures, especially since sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender ID. Even if you double the above gay/bi statistics to apply to TGs, it would still mean that over 90% of TGs are hetero.

[danielletorresani]

I always considered myself totally hetero, but the last couple of years I find myself attracted to passable CD's. So I'm not exactly sure where that puts me....

[J-Chattanooga]

100% hetero and happily married for 14 years. My wife actually dislikes my taste in music more than my taste in clothes...

[LilSissyStevie]

I only pretend to be hetero so I can pick up chicks.:heehee:

[kellycan27]

Instead of guessing, here are some statistics. Anyone is welcome to post additional statistics:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_sexual_orientation


US (2011): 3.5% gay or bi, which leaves 97.5% hetero. Percentage of total pop that is TG = .3%.


UK (2010): 1% gay, .5% bi, which leaves 98.5% hetero (with 3% "don't know").


Australia (2003): 2% gay, 1% bi, 97% hetero (with 8% bi curious).


Canada (2003): 1% gay, 1% bi, which leaves 98% hetero.


Denmark (1992): 3% gay or bi, which leaves 97% hetero.


France (1992): 4% gay or bi (at least one experience), which leaves 96% hetero.


Norway (1998): 3% gay or bi (at least one experience), which leaves 97% hetero.

I really find it hard to believe that as much as 50% CDs would be gay or bi based on these figures, especially since sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender ID. Even if you double the above gay/bi statistics to apply to TGs, it would still mean that over 90% of TGs are hetero.

I looked at the link you provided and it seems as though those statistics are pretty much a WAG. complete with if's ands, buts and disclaimers.

[NathalieX66]

can't we come up with a definitive percentage?

It can't be all that hard.......really.

You push away political agendas and religion aside, and you might actually get somewhere.

[SaraTV]

I'll keep it short and sweet. I love my wife and she loves me. (I'm the CD) anyway, is it so hard to believe that she, a full fleged female like to wear men's clothing and do men's things while I, a fully fledged man, likes to wear women's clothes and do women's things? Both facts only show that words like "gender," "fledged," and "fully" are a matter of perspective.

And that's all I have to say about that.

[NathalieX66]

My personal analysis of being out & about amongst other CD/TG folks 50% bi/ 50% straight....not as many committed gay, but a few transitioned TS, that are somewhe between straight/bi/gay. I've discovered some who are gay/bi curious, but ni'm not that into it.....mainly because I'm boring.

Keep in mind that this forum is not an actual representation of statistics. I have it good because I'm somewhere between Philadelphia and NY City, and I reach Boston and DC as well. I can' speak for Kansas City or Denver or the rural areas in between.

[AllieSF]

Nathalie, I think that it is very hard too get any truly meaningful data on the "T" side of the LGBT statistics. Many people in the "LGB" side are still in the closet, however, maybe enough are out now to make their stats reliable. There is a completely different story when we get to the "T" part. Most of us are in the closet to the real world, use pseudo names to represent who we are and to hide behind so that no one can trace our memberships in various forums, etc. back to the real us. The recent thread on a college wanting to ask about someone's "T' leanings in order to try to direct some specific scholarships funds their way was highly criticized as being unworkable and potentially very "outing" to whoever answers those questions truthfully. I liked the idea but am concerned about anyone's ability in today's world to keep that info truly secure and private. Therefore, most of us are really very hard to accurately count to be able to come up with reliable and fairly accurate statistics that could be meaningfully utilized for other constructive purposes.

If someone knows where better data is, great, but in over 4 years here, no one has come up with any good ones for us "T" people.

[ReineD]

I looked at the link you provided and it seems as though those statistics are pretty much a WAG. complete with if's ands, buts and disclaimers.

Kel, I don't know where you see the WAG. Here are the original sources for the statistics. If you disagree with the validity of these sources, then please do post alternatives.


US: http://services.law.ucla.edu/williamsinstitute/pdf/How-many-people-are-LGBT-Final.pdf


UK: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11398629


Australia: "Sex in Australia - The Australian study of health and relationships", Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society. (Published as the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health vol 27 no 2.)


Canada: http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/040615/dq040615b-eng.htm

You can look at the references below the article for the rest.

[naye]

Hi, I am another CD that is 100% Hetero, since I was a kid I found this fascination for females clothes, but it has always been a fascination about the fabrics and the excitement of being doing something that was "prohibited" for a boy and nobody knows I do, after the time my love for crossdressing was growing, I then I realized that it can be used as a great hobby for me, an easy way of having a lot of fun with out hurting anyone and also it works as a good stress relief.

Now I can tell for sure that I'm 100% hetero, really in love of my GG SO, and that crossdressing for me is just a huge hobby that doesnt hurt anybody (just like people who enjoy watching a lot of movies) and that is a great and healthy stress relief (way healthier than smoking a cigarrete or having a drink)

I also think that one of the reasons that I do this is that I like women so much that maybe thats why I like to fantasize of me being a woman, but I still think that what I enjoy the most about crossdressing is the way this other fabrics feel in my body, plus the reason of doing something that no one even imagine I am doing it and knowing that I have the power to do it.

[kellycan27]

Kel, I don't know where you see the WAG. Here are the original sources for the statistics. If you disagree with the validity of these sources, then please do post alternatives.


US: http://services.law.ucla.edu/williamsinstitute/pdf/How-many-people-are-LGBT-Final.pdf
UK: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11398629


Australia: "Sex in Australia - The Australian study of health and relationships", Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society. (Published as the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health vol 27 no 2.)


Canada: http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/040615/dq040615b-eng.htm

You can look at the references below the article for the rest.

This is the very first paragraph of the article you linked
The demographics of sexual orientation are difficult to establish for a variety of reasons. One of the major reasons for the difference in statistical findings regarding homosexuality and bisexuality has to do with the nature of the research questions. Major research studies on sexual orientation are discussed. Most of the studies listed below rely on self-report data, which poses challenges to researchers inquiring into sensitive subject matter. More importantly, the studies tend to pose two different sets of questions. One set examines self-report data of same-sex sexual experiences and attractions while the other set examines self-report data of personal identification as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Fewer research subjects identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual than report having sexual experiences or attraction to a person of the same sex. Several studies of sexual orientation in various countries provide comparative perspectives. Tables comparing several U.S. cities' population numbers are also included.

[paulaloha]

I am yet another completely heterosexual crossdresser! I have never had fantasies about guys, but I love dressing up as a woman. Now I have often had fantasies about being a woman and being with a woman, so if I am anything but a straight guy, I am a lesbian girl... :)

[ReineD]

This is the very first paragraph of the article you linked

In any credible study, researchers are bound to report any difficulties in obtaining results. Admittedly, there are difficulties in measuring something like this. But this doesn't mean that the research is invalid. If you read the independent sources, you will see that the statistical reporting is quite thorough and any variance in results is explained.

What I'm saying is, there are people in the field who do measure these things and their findings are certainly more accurate than any "guesses" we might make in this forum based on our own individual limited views and personal experiences, mine included.

[Jennaie]

That facts are in... if you subtract the percentage of cd's that are gay or bi or transsexual, you will have the percentage of heterosexual cd's.

[sandra-leigh]

I looked at the Canadian figures and read the explanation there, and I looked further and found the Stats Canada figures on transgender and transsexuals.

The Stats Canada figures on transgender and transsexuals are, paraphrasing, "We don't have estimates for this at all, but meanwhile for your reading enjoyment, here are some links to some numbers that are related to sexual identity rather than having anything to do with gender".

It doesn't even qualify as a WAG: it is a plain "We have no idea".

I looked at the only available Stats Canada sexual identity figures for my province, numbers from 2003. Looking at those numbers, and comparing them to some figures I was given first-hand last night, it would appear that fully half of the people in my province who identify as homosexual or bisexual, are currently signed up for (paid) memberships in the main GBLT bar in my city. There are two other active GBLT bars as well. So either we have an amazingly high participation rate, or else the figures are somewhat inaccurate.

[eluuzion]

How about...How many CDs will give you a "straight" answer? lol.
Asking that question on this forum is almost like asking how many people "lie". lol

Considering that there does not seem to be any agreement or accuracy in any of the attempts to estimate the total number of CDs to begin with...it is not
realistic to expect any accuracy in any attempts to estimate breakdown categories of an unknown population. That is just my logical opinion.

So, that means all you can expect is WAGuessing and opinions...which of course are often presented as "facts",:D

It is like asking somebody like me if I quit smoking. My answer is "yes", I quit smoking, because it was getting way out of control. Now, the only time I smoke is when I want a cigarette, lol.

I have seen many indirect "answers" relating to your question on this forum that amount to..."I'm not "gay". I'm only attracted to "men" when I am
cross-dressed". Now, explain to me just what the h**l that is supposed to mean? heheheee. Is that some concept like a "Mulligan" in golf. Or "it does not count" because you opened your eyes in hide-n-seek? Or "it wasn't me...it was "her"...(imaginary friend)...lol

This is a world where people redefine, modify and "technically" expand definitions and interpretations of their behavior to justify just about anything they do not wish to be held responsible for.

I also agree with the option of just confining your focus and interpretations to your particular circumstances and your SO. That, I can assure you, will be
confusing enough...


But, if you must know...here is an answer for you...

4 out of every 3 men are hetero. 40% of half of them are CD, with another 75% of the 26% that are lying being bi-sexual. But only 82% of those individuals are being honest with themselves, leaving the remaining 18% engaging in self deception. Plus, 98% of that 18% blame their unacceptable behavior or desires on an imaginary "friend", that is actually claimed to be an existing, but separate personality of a person that exists in their mind, but not in reality...that has nothing to do with any type of personality disorder.
Unfortunately, it is a fact that 12 out of every 9 CDs have a problem with math...

I hope that clears things up for you...:heehee:


good luck,
:love:

[DebbieL]

Instead of guessing, here are some statistics. Anyone is welcome to post additional statistics:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_sexual_orientation


US (2011): 3.5% gay or bi, which leaves 97.5% hetero. Percentage of total pop that is TG = .3%.


UK (2010): 1% gay, .5% bi, which leaves 98.5% hetero (with 3% "don't know").


Australia (2003): 2% gay, 1% bi, 97% hetero (with 8% bi curious).


Canada (2003): 1% gay, 1% bi, which leaves 98% hetero.


Denmark (1992): 3% gay or bi, which leaves 97% hetero.


France (1992): 4% gay or bi (at least one experience), which leaves 96% hetero.


Norway (1998): 3% gay or bi (at least one experience), which leaves 97% hetero.

I really find it hard to believe that as much as 50% CDs would be gay or bi based on these figures, especially since sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender ID. Even if you double the above gay/bi statistics to apply to TGs, it would still mean that over 90% of TGs are hetero.

Actually, this is what I suspected. The number of transgendered men who consider themselves attracted exclusively to men (gay) would be smaller than the overall male population.

Remember, that transgendered MTF think women are beautiful, sexually attractive, and want to be beautiful and sexy themselves.

Ironically, even when an MTF transgender is attracted to men, it is only AS A WOMAN. So in their minds and experience, even this is "heterosexual". Being seduced by men makes them feel more feminine and attractive, even if they don't actually have sex with them.

On the flip side, they can easily justify their attraction to woman as being heterosexual because they are genetic male attracted to female.

There aren't as many MTFs who are "true lesbians", who would RATHER have lesbian style sex than sexual activities that involve using their male anatomy as male anatomy..

Dates with a "real lesbian" were always amazing, because it was such a sensual experience.

As one t-girl put it, I'm tri-sexual, I'll try anything once, and more if I like it.

When you're transgendered you have the 1-6 kinsey scale of sexual preference, and a similar 1-6 scale for sexual identity,allowing for 36 possible combinations from M1-M6 (yuck) to G6-G6 (Wow!).
And then there is the identity of the partner, which could also be 1-6 for identity.

I've particularly enjoyed being totally fem with a woman who is slightly more masculine and aggressive. She can seduce me. And often considers it a real turn-on that she can be "the guy" and be in control of the action.

[nikkijo]

i am a bit different... definatly learning to accept the fact that if the right guy were to come around id definatly be a switch hitter... nikki is totally straight girl who wants a older redneck country man to take care of her.. but whats left of nick wants a strong masculine but attractive woman to care for him... either way definatly the submissive party

[Sue101]

Cindy

You are making the mistake of confusing gender and sexual orientation. These are two separate drives which are often linked culturally but individually there is no link. This is just the same as a women who can be a tomboy but that does not mean she is lesbian. Most women have the same reaction as you, believing that this has to do with sexual orientation but usually it is not.

Additionally many crossdressers do not dress for gender reasons - ie there is no female spirit living inside them. Many dress solely for pleasure or relaxation combining elements of role-playing, fantasy and escapism as well as a physical delight in the clothes themselves.

You should listen to what your husband tells you rather than seek answers from the experiences of others. Everyone is different and unique so only his answers are important.

[ReineD]

The Stats Canada figures on transgender and transsexuals are, paraphrasing, "We don't have estimates for this at all, but meanwhile for your reading enjoyment, here are some links to some numbers that are related to sexual identity rather than having anything to do with gender". It doesn't even qualify as a WAG: it is a plain "We have no idea".

This thread and the statistics above are about sexual orientation, not about gender ID. I've just looked at the Canadian link, and I didn't see anything about TGs. Did I miss something? :)

Anyway, I did post these rather quickly since they seemed at least more credible than just opinions and guesses. I did not read all the sources for all the countries, since they seemed fairly consistent with one another and I felt this pointed to some level of veracity.

The US source is the most recent. Have a look. The data comes from eleven different surveys. I'll have a closer look when I have more time.

But, considering that people may have tendencies to under report their gay or bisexual activities, the 1%-3% across the board might be low. Or, it could be entirely accurate depending on the sample. One would have to see the raw data from all the studies to determine this. But, to say they are as high as was suggested in prior posts is, I think, wishful thinking.

Also, if we cannot believe any of the stats because they are based on self-reports and self-reports are never accurate, then maybe we should not believe that anyone here is who they say they are? :)


... d*mn I'm busted now. I'm not really a GG. :D

[GirlyBits]

Whoever wants to make me happy in life, spoil me, love me, and make love to me is who I am going with. No matter what orientation, or gender they are. Although I identify more with the homosexual population. :)

[Kittyagain]

The question that needs to be asked to answer whether you are Hetero or not is "Are you capable of loving another man?' Everything else is just sex. Good sex but still just sex.

Kitty

[DebbieL]

Is there a way to take a survey of the members of this group?

It seems that there are very few such surveys actually being done.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender_sexuality
cites only two studies one surveyed only 47 post-op MTF respondents.

Ideally, the survey would include at least a few questions. Including:
1 - On a scale of 1 to 6 with 1 being attracted ONLY to ANY member of the Opposite sex to 6 being attracted ONLY to ANY member of the same sex, rate your preference.
1 - I am only attracted to women and attracted to most women.
2 - I am only attracted to certain women and find a few men attractive
3 - I am mostly attracted to women but find many men attractive
4 - I am mostly attracted to men, but find many women attractive
5 - I am only attracted to certain men and find a few women attractive
6 - I am only attracted to men and attracted to most men.


On a scale of 1 to 6 - rate your sexual identity
1 - Living almost exclusively as a man
2 - Living as a man but like to get dressed up in women's clothing at home in private.
3 - Living as a man but like to get fully dressed up in women's clothing at home.
4 - Living as a man but like to go out as a girl occaisionally
5 - Would like to me a woman but don't want to give up benefits of being male.
6 - Would like to be a woman and if not actually transitioning, it's only because of limited resources or logistical issues.

What is your actual partner's actual gender
1 - Female
2 - TS or TG
3 - Male

Rate your actual partner's sexual identity.
1 - very feminine woman, and loves being a girl.
2 - an average woman, wears pants much of the time, dresses comfortably.
3 - a bit of a tom-boy, like to hang out with the guys, and has a lot of guy interests.
4 - very butch, one of the guys, even looks a bit like one.
5 - he (or she) is a gentleman, and a gentle and kind, but masculine.
6 - he (or she) is "All man", what a hunk!

What is your ideal partner's actual gender
1 - Female
2 - TS or TG
3 - Male

Rate your ideal partner's sexual identity.
1 - very feminine woman, and loves being a girl.
2 - an average woman, wears pants much of the time, dresses comfortably.
3 - a bit of a tom-boy, like to hang out with the guys, and has a lot of guy interests.
4 - very butch, one of the guys, even looks a bit like one.
5 - he (or she) is a gentleman, and a gentle and kind, but masculine.
6 - he (or she) is "All man", what a hunk!

Something like that would be an interesting survey that, if taken by a few hundred or a few thousand transgendered men might provide a better view of the overall TG population and our sexual preferences and practices. I don't know if specific pattern would emerge or not.

[Pythos]

Me doing girly things is akin to Danica Patrick driving race cars, and women in combat missions.

OH GREAT MAKER!!! THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!

This is it in a nut shell!!!

I am so going to use this!

[Mandy]

I just enjoy being who I am, not really interested in other men, the thought just makes my skin crawl:eek: I prefer the real GG deal:)

[JodieGreen]

It's because women get all the cool clothes :(

Skirts, blouses, T shirts , pants , bows, hair ties, frilly stuff, more types of undies then you can shake a stick at, corsets,bras....and fun accessories.

What do guys get?

Dirty t-shirt or a Polo and a pair of jeans.... (boooo)

[Elle1946]

As for me, I am 100% hetro. I kind of think of myself as a lesbian in a male body.

[Kittyagain]

Debbie I have to disagree with you post. You do not need all of those questions A true homosexual, wants and needs to love another man just like most of us can love our women. Homosexual men are not capable of loving a woman as a partner.

If you can love a woman, then any tendencies toward males is bisexual not homosexual. If

[bridgetta]

sometimes i think its all denial... i think they are all at least bisexual.. although i am identified as hetero also.. lately i think i could be bi.. but that being said.. i dont like men.. just other passable cds. and trans.... but my point is.. that dressing as a woman is a powerful emotional physical spiritual thing.. it can alter ones senses.. and therefor create a more sensitive type of experience.. a man is supposed to be a machine that pleases the woman.. this can be boring for a man.. a man might like to be pleased and stimulated also.. and appreciated... this type of thing leads to crossdressing.. i just shaved my legs.. and although i know its taboo in soceity.. i find it extremely gratifiying.. i have a touch of runners knee. and an old injury that makes me need to stretch my legs.. i find i am nicer to my body if im shaved ... that is.. its more interesting to slow down and do yoga or just balance myself better without the hair... ... remember... clothing and makeup and hair or whatever it is that is crossdressing is man made.. woman are not born with that stuff on and neither are men... it is an illusion that these things are feminine.. its just society saying so...

what we are expressing is something quite sophesticated.. and it involves a kind of truth about the self...
it is ok for a woman in soceity to remark how another woman is beautiful. but it is a double standard for men.. men are supposed to be farting hairy brutes... they also say that woman live longer than men.. i think its because woman are more attentive to their bodies.. and that is ultimatly what drives the crossdresser...

the clothes can be extremly sexualy stimulating.. in the heightened state the mind can wander free... but still i dont fantazise about men.. .. ever really... but i can imagine things that involved being touched .. not just ridden like a inanimate object...

furthermore.. a relationship is a relationship.. if two people love each other and give each other support.. then. they should remain true to each other.. fantasy has its place but reality is an unfortanate side effect of life... therefor i think if a man who is a cd.. loves a woman and she loves him. there is nothing to worry about..

[bomba]

i feel that women are the greatest of gods creations. i not only love women,i worship the ground they walk on.i love dressing but do not have any desire for men.in fact when im dressed all i can think about is my wife, and how i should be kneeling at her feet

[Lorileah]

So it comes back to this again. Unless the exact parameters are defined in the original hypothesis the study will contain major flaws.

Should we study transsexual who marry after transition? Would they be gay or straight? What about the TS's who WANT to marry but cannot because now they want to marry a woman?

The numbers Reine cites seem to be far below what is considered correct. 1%? when 10% of the population is thought to be gay? And of course what is "bi"? In college (and maybe there has been a sweeping change in the US since then) we considered sexual orientation to be a bell curve. Not a linear thing or a compartmentalized thing. I know this will ruffle a few feathers but in nature nothing is 100% anything. I believe it was Masters and Johnson who first pointed out that a significant number of males had some sort of homosexual experience sometime in their life and I think it even said to sexual completion. Ok I know (using Danica Patrick analogy again) driving a race car one time does not make you a race driver but have oral sex one time and you are.....(this is a PG rated site) for life.

The other thing is that on this site, as with everything on this site, you get a skewed response. If the first responder had said "I am out gay and proud!" there would have been more out and proud gays posting but the first responders were the "I am NOT GAY" people who planted the flag so that the followers would post. You are not going to get a good cross section in this forum. I refer again to the poll fro two years ago where maybe the question was asked differently. The results were almost even hetero/bi. I remember that time even stating that when a CD says they are "Lesbian" they could not be because they didn't have the right equipment (which even IF you accepted the Lesbian in a man's body idea you would be homosexual.). They were straight men in women's clothes who had sex with women. But I digress.

Once again, we seem to get the answers we expect, even if questionable, and we wave our flag that we were correct in our thesis with a flawed model. From the responses here I have read they do not align with many other threads out there as to orientation. I wonder where all the "When I am dressed I want to be treated like a lady and would date Brad Pitt" people are? Probably reading the "I feel just like a hooker" threads. I think maybe what we see in our mind (how many here believe they are actually a woman when they are dressed...if everyone says "no" I know they are in a different world in their minds) is far different than what is reality. Then again maybe I am one of the lucky ones who has come to grips with my "bi" sexuality

[bridgetta]

WHY DO WOMAN PAINT THERE NAILS?? is it only to attract men?? if so .. then men are attracted to it.. and therefor its naturaly for a man who is bored and interested to want to interact with such a thing...

but if woman pain their nails because they enjoy it.. then ultimatly it is not a sexual reproductive thing.. and who says a man cant enjoy it for the same reasons?? furthermore.. when i paint my toenails and walk around.. the mere visual heightening of my feet make me control my steps and posture in a way that i am otherwise to sloppy about.. this makes me refine myself.. it is healthy.. and it is ok...

[sterling12]

The % of Transfolk that are completely Hetero? I am reminded of Great Church Minds in The 17th Century, trying to determine The Number of Angels that reside on The Head of A Pin! All we ever get is imaginative guesses. Most agree we can't even figure out The Actual % of Transfolk in The Population, let alone the numbers of The truly heterosexual.

And just to toss in another "monkey wrench." It's been my experience at least among the many hundreds of Gurls that I know, that there is a great deal of lying and self-deception going on about this subject. MOST have had "Fantasies," quite a few have had Bi-Sexual "Experiments," if you can get them to admit to it. But now we come to a second conundrum.....are they Bi-Sexual Experiences? If your Trans, and you think there is a separate Femme Persona; if she picks up a guy, is SHE doing something Gay, or HETEROSEXUAL? And then, do we have to count her among The Number of heterosexual crossdressers? Come to think of it, if one is transgendered, but only having relations with women, doesn't that make her A Lesbian? Can't really count That Lesbian Sister among The Heterosexual CD Population either, right?

Back to The "Fantasie's." As Jimmy Carter once said, "In My Heart I have sinned, because I thought about it!" Same Problem, if you've thought about The Act.....doesn't that kind of make you a non-heterosexual? At least that's true in Thought , if not in Deed.

Wait! When I started, I didn't think we could give you an answer. I thought it was unsolvable. Now, I think I might be wrong! After considering these "other" factors, I conclude that The Heterosexual CD Population is Zero , or 100% heterosexual! I have solved The Conundrum! I'm going to turn around and submit this "Thesis," and use it as a Base for my Doctoral Dissertation. My Brilliant thoughts are just as good as "The Experts" who always think they know Everything about being Transgendered. Just call me DOCTOR Joanie!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Rianna Humble]

Is there a way to take a survey of the members of this group?

Ideally, the survey would include at least a few questions. Including:

1 - On a scale of 1 to 6 with 1 being attracted ONLY to ANY member of the Opposite sex to 6 being attracted ONLY to ANY member of the same sex, rate your preference.

1.25 - I am only attracted to women and attracted to certain women.

2 On a scale of 1 to 6 - rate your sexual identity - this question is misworded (I have answered what it appears to be asking since none of the options pertained to sexual identity but rather to gender)

7 - I am a woman

3 What is your actual partner's actual gender

0 - I am unattached

4 Rate your actual partner's sexual identity.

N/A

5 What is your ideal partner's actual gender

1 - Female

6 Rate your ideal partner's sexual identity. (same comment as for question 2)

1.5 Feminine woman who loves being a girl and dresses comfortably



Something like that would be an interesting survey that, if taken by a few hundred or a few thousand transgendered men might provide a better view of the overall TG population and our sexual preferences and practices. I don't know if specific pattern would emerge or not.

I hope an MtF TS counts in your survey of "transgendered men" even though I never was really a man except in bodily appearance

[Christine1954]

I can only speak for me but I am 100% heterosexual. I love to dress like a woman but, if I was born a woman, I would be lesbian.

My sentiments exactly, I love womenkind far too much.
Christine :)

[Carroll]

I can only speak for me but I am 100% heterosexual. I love to dress like a woman but, if I was born a woman, I would be lesbian.

Yeah, what she said!..lol

[Mrs Roads]

I'm 100% hetero but at the same time I wish I was born a girl (then of course I'd simply be a lesbian) if that makes any sense...

[Cari]

I am a little skeptical about that 80% hetero statistic. Look at all the closeted cd's and cd's who hide the fact from their SO's.. or go to great lengths to hide it, and suddenly they are going to be truthful about their sexuality? I think that the poll you mention might be closer to correct.

For me I never had any doubt about my sexual orientation so I have the ability to provide an honest answer to myself or a poll.
Being a CD did give me doubts about my gender identity and I did a long journey that involved many laps in the closet and lots of hiding.
I also spent a long time in denial wondering when I would outgrow this ect ect

Its not a matter of being dishonest its just a matter of not knowing and being unable to provide an honest answer to myself let alone a pollster.
If they had a confused category that would have fit for many years and sometimes today.

Its like watching any game show some questions you just know the answer and can provide a quick honest answer ; others are allot harder :-)

I think what the polls prove is that there are gay and straight CD's and you have to treat CD's like individuals.

[Lorileah]

I find it funny that people here say that if they were born female they would be lesbian...wanna bet on that? If you were born female with female anatomy and hormones, you would probably be just as straight as you are now. Strange that you think you would be attracted to women if you were a woman.

If you had the same brain you have now and hormones with female anatomy...then you would probably be a FtM TS

[Eryn]

Completely hetero CDer here.

I can't really understand why women are attracted to men, though I am not complaining as I have been happily married for 22 years!

Estrogen must be a heck of a drug!

[JohannaSophia]

OK I am 2,3,1,2,and if I had to pick again I would go for a Female TomBoy which discribes my wife when we were married anyway. JohannaSophia
Is there a way to take a survey of the members of this group?

It seems that there are very few such surveys actually being done.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender_sexuality
cites only two studies one surveyed only 47 post-op MTF respondents.

Ideally, the survey would include at least a few questions. Including:
1 - On a scale of 1 to 6 with 1 being attracted ONLY to ANY member of the Opposite sex to 6 being attracted ONLY to ANY member of the same sex, rate your preference.
1 - I am only attracted to women and attracted to most women.
2 - I am only attracted to certain women and find a few men attractive
3 - I am mostly attracted to women but find many men attractive
4 - I am mostly attracted to men, but find many women attractive
5 - I am only attracted to certain men and find a few women attractive
6 - I am only attracted to men and attracted to most men.


On a scale of 1 to 6 - rate your sexual identity
1 - Living almost exclusively as a man
2 - Living as a man but like to get dressed up in women's clothing at home in private.
3 - Living as a man but like to get fully dressed up in women's clothing at home.
4 - Living as a man but like to go out as a girl occaisionally
5 - Would like to me a woman but don't want to give up benefits of being male.
6 - Would like to be a woman and if not actually transitioning, it's only because of limited resources or logistical issues.

What is your actual partner's actual gender
1 - Female
2 - TS or TG
3 - Male

Rate your actual partner's sexual identity.
1 - very feminine woman, and loves being a girl.
2 - an average woman, wears pants much of the time, dresses comfortably.
3 - a bit of a tom-boy, like to hang out with the guys, and has a lot of guy interests.
4 - very butch, one of the guys, even looks a bit like one.
5 - he (or she) is a gentleman, and a gentle and kind, but masculine.
6 - he (or she) is "All man", what a hunk!

What is your ideal partner's actual gender
1 - Female
2 - TS or TG
3 - Male

Rate your ideal partner's sexual identity.
1 - very feminine woman, and loves being a girl.
2 - an average woman, wears pants much of the time, dresses comfortably.
3 - a bit of a tom-boy, like to hang out with the guys, and has a lot of guy interests.
4 - very butch, one of the guys, even looks a bit like one.
5 - he (or she) is a gentleman, and a gentle and kind, but masculine.
6 - he (or she) is "All man", what a hunk!

Something like that would be an interesting survey that, if taken by a few hundred or a few thousand transgendered men might provide a better view of the overall TG population and our sexual preferences and practices. I don't know if specific pattern would emerge or not.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I think of myself as hetero, but often find myself attracted to androgynous women. ( Jamie Lee Curtis anyone? ) Actually I think it might be that I'm attracted to a masculine attitude? Jerri Ryan as Seven of Nine could always interest me, but when she was in some of her other roles there was less attraction ( Though that could have something to do with those uniforms! ) I don't want to be with a man, but would probably not have a problem dating a MtF that had fully transitioned.

Does that make me 100%? Dunno.

[danielletorresani]

I started crossdressing around age 13, and for me, the entire reason I got into dressing up to begin with was my intense desire for women. When I was younger, I was an awkward kid. Never had a girlfriend until I was 19. So for many years I didn't know what it was like to be close to a girl, or anything like that. All I had were fantasies, fantasies of being with a girl, being seduced...and in my fantasies the women seducing me were always wearing lingerie, probably because of me discovering Playboy for myself when I was 13. Somehow I found myself being just as turned on my the lingerie as I was the women. So wearing lingerie became the closest I could get to a girl.

For some, crossdressing is pretty much just a sexual turn-on, not a gender identity issue. For those that dress up for purely sexual reasons, it's usually because they love women so much. Weird way of showing it, I know, but there it is.

[Patty]

I can only speak for me but I am 100% heterosexual. I love to dress like a woman but, if I was born a woman, I would be lesbian.

Could not say it better!

[GingerLeigh]

Having sex with a man is... well... (shuddering violently) not my cup of tea. There are many here that are into that and that's fine. We're all different and what they do doesn't bug me at all. Not that what I think should matter anyway. Now, for me? I see nothing remotely attractive about a man or his (ahem) member, let alone doing something with him or it. This is regardless of what I may be wearing. Pretending to be a girl is one thing, getting it on like one with another man is something else altogether. Now, if the wife wanted to say... be the dominate one... I might be OK with that, it probably would be kinda fun!

Ginger

[Brooke Smith]

Myself, as I get older, I know less and less. Things that I used to know, I've asked myself "Oh? How can you really be sure? 'Never' is a pretty long time, and a pretty absolute statement. Things change, people change, circumstances change: who are you to say 'Never'?" And so it is that I no longer know that some kind of sexual interaction with a male is out of the question for me. It just seems more than a little unlikely.

Just how old must one be to have this insight?

[JustAlex]

How long have you been with him?
If you spent many years with him, had sex with him, shared your life with him, would it change your relationship dramatically if you find out he has a (potential) homosexual tendency?
Does it make any sense to you?

I can only speak for myself. I've never been in an homosexual relationship, I've never tried, I've never looked after it, I haven't done efforts to stay away from it. I'm sure most people would say that I'm pretty straight, even when I'm wearing lace panties. However, I'm not so sure about it and probably I'll never find out.

[Mrs Roads]

I started crossdressing around age 13, and for me, the entire reason I got into dressing up to begin with was my intense desire for women. .


Wow - that's the exact same reason I started being a woman, except I was 12 at the time and I stumbled across my dad's secret stash of Penthouses rather than Playboy. I was so intensely aroused that I wanted to be the woman in the pictures just to feel what they're feeling sexually. That was that, and since then I've this intense desire to be woman so I can feel and experience everything female - for me CD has always been a very sexual experience for me. And I don't think I can get arouse any more unless I'm in full out female form. But at the same time I have no desire to be with a man, but I want to be a woman and feel everything woman if that makes any sense. I even have girl `toys`if you know what I mean :o

[shesadvl]

CindyO,

welcome to the forum, I believe that you will find most CD'ers are Hetrosexual, as its just the wearing of womens clothing that they enjoy, most I know are married,.. on here or those who are widowed, a great many are divorced, but CD'ing is not usually the cause for Divorces,...as you interact here you will find the different level of CD'ers/trans gendered people.

I knew before I got into the relationship I had with CF, so knowing up front it didnt bother me one way or other, he told me he was definitely a hetrosexual male but loves
wearing womens clothing. Its how he is happy with his feminine side,.. as with the others some havent got to that stage others have.

I believe if you have communication always with your husband and tawk tawk all the time,... so as you can both deal with where he is and for you to understand, him
and how you cope with it all....some do question themselves as to if they are straight or otherwise, as CF told me about his experience, and he knew up front
that he was a hetrosexual male.
The only thing ill say here he can wear heels better n me.... drat lol....its a wonder he doesnt break his neck but practice makes perfect hey....lol :battingeyelashes:

Have you joined the FAB section, you will find a huge amount of support from the other GG's as well.

There are lot of CD'ers here that also do give good advice, so you can read through, to see what pertains to your situation.

Enjoy the forum...

Irene shesadvl yup thats me :battingeyelashes:



I find it funny that people here say that if they were born female they would be lesbian...wanna bet on that? If you were born female with female anatomy and hormones, you would probably be just as straight as you are now. Strange that you think you would be attracted to women if you were a woman.

If you had the same brain you have now and hormones with female anatomy...then you would probably be a FtM TS

:clap: :clap: love your quick wit....;) made me laugh ....:battingeyelashes:

[Jenny Green]

Easy to answer this one: 100% hetero. 100% attracted to women as long as I can remember. 100% married for 30 years.

-- Jenny

[Yvonne York]

I can only speak for me, but I am only attracted to women. I want to look like a woman, sometimes I even think I want to have a woman's body, but the idea of being with a man holds no interest for me at all.

Sums me up. If I wasa girl, I'd have a lesbian relationship.

[pinto]

Actually i am completely hetero. Also in femme mode i only like women but - my last dreams consisted of situations where i was a woman and a man was making rough love to me. So what does that mean? am i gay? in male mode i cannot imagine to be gay, to have sex with a man but in femme and my dreams it happen to occur more often now that a man is making love to me. What does that mean?

[ReineD]

What does that mean?

I think it means you are using fantasy in order to maximize feeling femme? In other words, the male is fine in your fantasy because he isn't real, but in real life after all the clothes come off, you'd feel differently?

[pinto]

Yes Reine, then i feel different. But is this normal?

[ReineD]

Yes Reine, then i feel different. But is this normal?

I don't think it's unusual, based on the many threads/posts here from other CDs who do fantasize about being with men when in their fantasies, they are in femme mode.

[Amy Hepker]

I am not Gay, never have been never will be, I am only interested in GGs.

[DebbieL]

This is a very interesting question and both CDs/TGs and their partners go across the spectrum. Often, it's assumed that CDs are gay because the most public cross-dressers are "Drag Queens", who are often gay men who dress up to entertain gay men.

Even my own sexual preferences and identity are hard to define. In my fantasies I am always dressed as a beautiful woman, in heels, hose, skirt, satin blouse, jacket, lipstick, make-up, and beautiful hair, and my partner is similarly dressed, usually a bit taller, and perhaps a bit heavier. She is also more aggressive, seducing me more than I am seducing her, but both of us taking our time, kissing, caressing each other, enjoying the sensations of each other's bodies, as well as the clothes. Even the sexual fantasies are Lesbian fantasies. But for years, the final moments, with the clothes off, I would still have real breasts, but we would be having coitus. It was only when I got older and discovered certain toys, that I realized that I liked the alternatives even better than the "real thing".

As for my partners, there is no question. All of those who have enjoyed being with me and stayed in long-term relationships, were bisexual and had had pleasant experiences with both genders at some time in their lives. They were attracted to me because I took my time and was in no rush, and willing to take lots of time to make sure that she was completely satisfied. On many occasions, I could be completely satisfied by pleasing her so much that she was unable to even move afterward, let alone reciprocate. I loved the "quavering jello" experience where all she wanted was to be held and hugged afterward.

I've never been into men. I experimented a few times, but didn't enjoy the experiences. The men who were attracted to me were also bisexual, and very much attracted to the fact that I could look and act like a woman and still have the sense of responsibility of a man.

Transsexuals, especially those who have gone through SRS are often much clearer about their sexual preferences. They are either lesbians or women attracted to men. They have wiped out all aspects of being male, except, perhaps, for a stronger libido than than most women. Often, their partners, even if they know the girls were once men, relate to their partners as women, and if anything just loves that she seems to know how to make their partner happy. This is because she has been able to experience love and sex as both a man and a woman.

Very often, early stages of dressing are closely associated with sexual arousal, but often, the driving force behind the desire to dress quickly goes far beyond just sexual desire. They enjoy experiencing the vulnerability, sensitivity, and other aspects of being feminine. Often, this shift starts to happen when they sexually satisfy themselves, but keep the outfit on afterward.

Often, the feminine desires can extend to many other activities. TGs will often enjoy "chick flicks", enjoy cooking, cleaning, crafts, even sewing, doing laundry, and have a better sense of hygene. They will also be more aware of their physical appearance and will want to control their weight, figure, and appearance. They are more likely to exercise, eat healthier diets, and take care of their bodies. In relationships, TGs are more likely to listen to women as they express their feelings, more interested in "girl talk", and often have many female friends who are not sexual prospects. Often, when a TG or CD sees a girl in a beautiful dress or outfit, they are looking out the outfit, and wondering what it would be like to wear that outfit, even BE that woman, or at least have a figure like hers.

Many TGs will also be less interested in spectator sports such as Hockey, Football, Baseball, or Soccer. They might even be more interested in sports like Figure skating, Gymnastics, or competition dancing, cheer leading, or other dance activities. They are more likely to participate in non-competitive physical activities such as dancing, yoga, Aerobic dancing, Jazzercize, or Zumba.

Given even a little encouragement, CDs and TGs can become extraordinary lovers because they are willing to take direction, because their masculinity isn't threatened, because they aren't as attached to it. In many cases, they will try to act masculine to hide their feminine traits and desires.

[ElusiveGirl]

I find it funny that people here say that if they were born female they would be lesbian...wanna bet on that? If you were born female with female anatomy and hormones, you would probably be just as straight as you are now.

You got that right. The actual experience of being a lesbian is not the same as being a hetero guy visualizing how cool it might be to be a lesbian. :heehee:

Ever go to a lesbian bar? Ever notice how, on average, the girls have a different sort of look from the girls in straight bars? This raises the issue of a difficult truth: Sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same thing, but they are related. If one shifts, the other can too. I've known plenty of folks who, after transitioning, switched to 100% men. How about them pink apples?

As for me, I'm "half gay, half girl" (bisexual crossdresser). I can't date manly men, but I do like tall, smooth, and pretty guys. Also I can't date girly girls. They have to be sort of tomboyish. My "either/or" sexuality is a mirror of my "either/or" gender, and I think that's the truest equilibrium I may ever find on the spectrum. Inside and out.

[chloe23]

Many TGs will also be less interested in spectator sports such as Hockey, Football, Baseball, or Soccer. They might even be more interested in sports like Figure skating, Gymnastics, or competition dancing, cheer leading, or other dance activities. They are more likely to participate in non-competitive physical activities such as dancing, yoga, Aerobic dancing, Jazzercize, or Zumba

I think your wrong there. Sports use to be a male oriented years ago, but not today. When you go to a sporting event today, i see allot of women there, even grandma's at hockey games. Women enjoy sports today more that ever, so why would a TG not like sports. I even realize there are some males who do not like sports at all, but I am a transsexual and i still enjoy sports.

[ReineD]

This raises the issue of a difficult truth: Sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same thing, but they are related. If one shifts, the other can too. I've known plenty of folks who, after transitioning, switched to 100% men.

I agree with you.

I think what is meant by the statement that gender ID and sexual orientation are separate, is that it is entirely possible to have same sex attraction. But this doesn't mean the sexual orientation can't change when there are hormonal changes as the result of transition.

[Sarasometimes]

For me 100% hetero! I give GG's credit for finding males attractive!

[Stephanie47]

I'm 100% heterosexual. I've never given any consideration to engaging in same sex activity, although in my youth gays tried to pick me up. Girls too! But my wife would scratch their eyes out without regard to their sexuality. But, seriously, there is nothing feminine about me- looks, mannerisms. hobbies, etc. When Steve is there, it's all male. When Stephanie is there, she is all female. Now, that does not mean Steve will not engage in traditional female activities. Don't through rocks at me. I actually got on hands and knees today in grab to clean the F-ing toilet. I would never do that in one of my pretty dresses.

The vast majority of cross dressers are heterosexual. I think they may be more committed in their relationships with their wives because they are cross dressers and have similar inner feelings. Just take a look at the stats for wandering men AND women. And, the vast majority of gay guys are NOT cross dressers.

And, there are many different types of cross dressers. In my opinion a person who has a fetish for wearing one particular type of feminine garment is not a cross dresser. To be a cross dresser you need to identify with the inner beauty of the female of our species- not her outward attire!

[Sometimes Steffi]

Someone suggested to me that maybe, probably I was gay, and that there was nothing wrong with it. I didn't think it was true, but as a scientist, I decided to run a test. Went to the gym. Looked at the guys in the locker room. Not the smidgen of a tingle. Not at all. Went to my Body Pump class, which is predominently women. Cute girl in front, cute girl to the right. Cute girl to the left. Tingle to the front, to the right and to the left. Happily married for 33 years, so it was just lust in the heart, but answered my question. Hetero.

[Aprilrain]

ooooooooooooo! I LOVE opinion polls! 60% of all CDers are gay the rest just haven't figured it out yet!

[JulieK1980]

I'm 100% into everyone. Except for the people I'm not into.

[Ann Thomas]

I recently began going to a Transgender support group locally, and similar topics of discussion have been raised there. Honestly a clear answer is hard to come by, especially with statistics. If you look at Craigslist, for example, you'll see the number of Transwomen seeking men to far outnumber those seeking women. But, one has to wonder how many of those are prostitutes looking for work, so that tilts the numbers, especially when they might not be attracted to men, but just looking for money.

It appears there's plenty of CDs that are closeted, keeping it a deep secret from everyone around them. So, with that in mind, what's the chances of ever getting a true picture of how many are out there?

When I've asked in the meetings about sexual orientation, it seems most Transwomen don't change. But, there are some that do have feelings that develop in them towards others like themselves. So, if that is the case, how do you define that? Let's say one pre-op M2F Transgender is attracted to another pre-op M2F Transgender. What does that make them? Gay, lesbian, straight, hetero, bi, or ... ? I think we can all agree that scenario makes things a bit blurry.

Could it be that we are looking for acceptance, don't find it the way we like, and feel compelled to accept someone else the way we wish we could be accepted? Could that be why a self described hetero male (now Transwoman) could come to have a relationship with another like herself?


So in answer to your original question, like others on this thread, I am and always have been attracted to female, and want to look as much like them as possible. I feel it's the greatest compliment I can pay.

Ann

[Cheryl T]

Hi all
i am new to cding, recent revelation to me. now i am trying to aquire and learn as much as i can. My question is- What % of CDers do you think are truly hetero.My SO say he is, but i am wondering about this. It seems like a strange thing for a heterO guy to do (and trust me i really hope that he is straight, otherwise my life changes for the worst). thanks for your imput. CINDYO

First of all let me state that I am certainly in the Hetero category and have always been.
I don't claim to speak for all of us, but I'm sure that the vast majority are hetero. Whether the majority are or not really has no bearing on your SO. We are individuals and what you should be focusing on is your SO and his status. By determining what percentage of us are or are not does not change him in the least.
This of course is a topic that we all discuss when we come out to our spouses. It was a topic for my wife and I and I certainly understand why it needed to be discussed.
It may seem a "strange thing" for a hetero guy to do, but it's not something that we CHOSE. It's something that is a part of us. It's not like picking what shirt to wear or what color car to buy. It's something inherent.
Focus on him, focus on your relationship, focus on how this relates to you both and not where he lies in the ranking of cd's in general.

[NicolaF]

As others have said, its doesn't matter what percent are "truly heterosexual". Some are gay, some are straight. The fact the 2 of you have been together for so long and you never once questioned his sexuality before should prove to you he is straight.

[chloe23]

To be honest, i think 90% of crossdressers are hetero while the other 10% are bisexual. Why would a gay guy crossdress when he is into men, think about it..........

[Ann Thomas]

Why would a gay guy crossdress when he is into men, think about it..........

That's exactly what my gay cousin said when I came out to him a few years ago, when I was asking him the difference between a crossdresser and a drag queen.

[ElusiveGirl]

The vast majority of cross dressers are heterosexual. And, the vast majority of gay guys are NOT cross dressers.

The problem is with the cultural expectation of what "gay guy" means. Also, an astonishing number of "hetero" CD's seem to want to get into my pants. I wonder what that could imply? It may not be "by the book" GAY, but it ain't straight either. More like bi or heteroflexible.

[Barbara Dugan]

Why would a gay guy crossdress when he is into men, think about it..........

I think the same reasons why an hetero guy crossdress, think about it......

[Eryn]

Speaking for myself only I'm only interested in women. In fact, so interested in them that I like to wear their clothes and makeup. Further, I can't figure out what they find attractive in men. That double-X chromosome is some powerful drug.

[Tina P Hose]

I am a crossdresser, and have not been lucky enough or smart enough to make a marrige last. So I am 79 % hetro and 21 % open. Open being the key word.

[chloe23]

I think the same reasons why an hetero guy crossdress, think about it......

to express their feminine side, every man has a feminine side, but most don't express it

[NathalieX66]

I'm hetero.
Fully transitioned trans people dont bother me either. I'm not into outies.
Sorry if I'm too forward and bold here.

[Phoebe P.]

You never know. I love women, but I long for a gay sexual relationship. I wear women's clothes and want to be a woman... You never know...

[KellyJameson]

I'm heterosexual but if I had a vagina I would go for the guys because I usually prefer their company over women. I find women to complicated and moody. Of course if I had a vagina I probably would find men to complicated and moody and want to go for the women if I had a penis. Life Sucks !

[Jillian Faith]

He does not like to shop, decorate for christmas or care how i choose home decor. He has been very sensitive to me always and i suppose looking back now with 20/20 vision maybe he was more in tune to how a girl feels than so other guys would be. We are in our in our 50s....

Cindyo

You could be describing me perfectly

I don't like to shop, at least for men's clothes
Could care less how the house is decorated for Christmas
As for Home decor I think my wife uses to many pillows LOL

I've been dressing of an on since I was 4 or 5, now 53. I do love to shop for Jill clothes, especially shoes! I'm happily married to my best friend, have 2 lovely daughters that I am looking forward to being provided grandchildren by and of course 100% hetero. A lot of the good qualities you have seen in your SO can be related to the balance of his masculine and feminine sides. I wouldn't worry about his sexual orientation any more now than you worried about prior to finding out he is a CD.

Hugs
Jill

[Rebecca W.]

I think the same reasons why an hetero guy crossdress, think about it......

Barbara has it right.
Think about what difference does it really make percentage wise who does what and what gender they prefer? We all have dreams and maybe if we actually brought some of those dreams into our "real" life it would eliminate the excessive need to survey people and create percentages of a random selection of the population. The more that I read on here the more it makes me want to act on my suppressed fantascies. Please forgive me but I am tired of all the statistics and percentages in our lives.Live free and just be safe when you decide to live out your fantascies. You will never know if like someone or something unless you try it. Don't be a percentage in life, it is not the right way to live it.

Rebecca:)

[Engendered]

Hi all
i am new to cding, recent revelation to me. now i am trying to aquire and learn as much as i can. My question is- What % of CDers do you think are truly hetero.My SO say he is, but i am wondering about this. It seems like a strange thing for a heterO guy to do (and trust me i really hope that he is straight, otherwise my life changes for the worst). thanks for your imput. CINDYO

Hi Cindyo,
I know this is quite an old topic at this point, but I wanted to add to the pile anyway. :) I am, and have always been completely hetrosexual. No amount of crossdressing could make me attracted to guys. No situation could change my sexuality. I wouldn't worry that your SO is gay, just because you found out that he CDs. If you saw him oggling male models in women's magazines, only then might you have something to worry about.

[Meg East]

More of the same, I am heterosexual. I have dressed for over fifty years, since I was ten, am happily married to the same woman for almost forty years. We have raised two normal, successful happy daughters.

Life is good.

[ElaineB]

Its obvious just from looking around that most CDers posting on the site are hetero. My impression is that maybe a few more are gay or bi than among non-CDers, but only a few and thats just my impression.

That is just this site o'course and "birds of a feather flock together" ... different CD sites do attract different kinds of people. But I have seen a bunch of them and not noticed that any particularly collect straight/gay/bi people.

Likewise I think the CDers we do hear from are probably pretty representative of those we dont hear from altho obviously none of us can prove that one way or another.

One thing tho... its easy to get the wrong impression because a lot of us (yes even those of us who are straight) have fantasies about doing it as a woman, with a man ... so you do have to answer the question "what does truly hetero mean?"

Personally I think if people get past their inhibitions most of them enjoy the actual act of doing it regardless of what sexes were the people involved. At least that seems to be true a lot of the time when people get drunk! :) And it is possible for two people of the same sex to love each other without sex being involved at all (ie best friends). So I think the only meaningful definition of straight/bi/gay has to be all about who you are attracted to. So most CDers, even those with fantasies about men, are still hetero.

[sometimes_miss]

First, Wiki is rampant with inaccuracies, so don't rely on that as a source. It's interesting reading, but over the years I've found quite a number of errors there. After all, anyone can edit and change their material. Which is great and terrible at the same time. Now back to our regularly scheduled topic.
There's no way to know exactly what percentage of us are 'strictly' heterosexual. If you really are suspicious of your mate having homosexual desires, you have to watch how he acts and behaves. Anyone watching me would easily know that I have no interest in men at all. If you want an easy test, put him on the beach and see what he looks at. Does he spend a large amount of time looking at guys even if there are spectacular looking women in scanty bathing suits around? That can tell you something. Is he able to determine easily how attractive a man is to women? (regular men, not movie actor quality, those are obvious). Does he constantly comment on how good some men look? Has he EVER said about another man 'Wow he's really hot!". All these are clues. Not definitive, perhaps, but it all gives you some idea about how interested he is in other men's appearance. Most guys.....don't give a crap about what other men look like. We don't notice their suits, can't tell you what shoes they wear, whether they're wearing a single or double breasted suit, nothing. We usually are lucky to be able to tell you what color shirt or suit he wears at all. I know, there are some men who are into fashion. But they are rare.

[ringedjohn]

I am 100% hetero. I am only attracted to women. I do not want to look like a woman, I just enjoy wearing their underwear. I have never been attracted to a man.

[Samantha W]

Speaking for myself only I'm only interested in women. In fact, so interested in them that I like to wear their clothes and makeup. Further, I can't figure out what they find attractive in men.

This is exactly how I feel too and is how I explain it when the inevitable question comes up. If they ask again I say “I’m 46 years old, if I felt any attraction to men, I’d know it by now. The best I could do is be a lesbian.”

[JasmineD]

I am married to same woman over 25 years and 100% heterosexual. Absolutely no interest in mae at all.

[sandra-leigh]

I wrote,


Myself, as I get older, I know less and less. Things that I used to know, I've asked myself "Oh? How can you really be sure?


Just how old must one be to have this insight?

It helps to read Isaac Singer's Gimpel The Fool (http://salvoblue.homestead.com/gimpel.html) from time to time.

(Also available as an animated story on YouTube, apparently.)

[Jenniferathome]

I can certainly understand your confusion and the question but I would guess some percent in the very high 90s. Crossdressing is not a sexual orientation thing. It's part of our self image.

[sandra-leigh]

I suspect this science article (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/110411084330.htm) is relevant to this debate -- but I can't seem to figure out what they are saying!

[Monica93304]

I've been a girl inside my whole life, and tried to be the straight guy so to speak. But after coming out to my now ex GF, I've discovered how much I'm really attracted to men, and how much I enjoy them anatomically. I guess I'm in the minority.

[Contessa]

I am going to agree with Samantha W. If I ha been born a girl i'd would have been a lesbian. But Eryn has made the best observation ever "in fact I'm so interested in women that I like to wear their clothes. I think the worst problem is not being able to talk like them and/or sound like them. They are sooo lovely, I say that about pretty much every single one. my wife is included, even thought she may be only 25% supportive of where I am.

[Jessica S]

I am also 100% heterosexual. Married, two kids and like all the guy stuff like sports and hunting. I just like how the clothes feel and make me feel. My wife knows and is supportive.

[CallieH]

I am also 100% heterosexual. Married, two kids and like all the guy stuff like sports and hunting. I just like how the clothes feel and make me feel. My wife knows and is supportive.

Like Jessica, I'm 100% hetero too, really enjoy how wearing some of the finer items of women's clothing makes me feel!

[Cdnikkita]

Bi crossdresser here only bi when dressed more into the **** and not the man attached though. I like how femine I feel when put in those girl situations

[Marleena]

I'm a hetero married guy with kids. I'm totally fine with any of the girls here, TG TS CD GG. As Marleena I see all of the girls as my friends. I really don't care about anybody's sexuality.

[Dianelee]

I always considered myself totally hetero, but the last couple of years I find myself attracted to passable CD's. So I'm not exactly sure where that puts me....

I'm attracted to the female form, but I love the look and feel of a p***s and could go bi with a cd or ********. I don't want to be a woman, just feminine.

[Misti]

Hi all i am new to cding, recent revelation to me. now i am trying to aquire and learn as much as i can.
Me, too, Cyndyo. Me, too!


I can only speak for me, but I am only attracted to women. I want to look like a woman, sometimes I even think I want to have a woman's body, but the idea of being with a man holds no interest for me at all.
Just like Maija says, but I am keeping an "open mind" about all this "incredible strangeness" that has so suddenly overwhelmed me, however!

Best of luck, L&R
M.

[Blaire]

Can't say for the percentage, but I'll bet that it's much more than 50, and less than what you'll be told!

[Piora]

I'm a hetero married guy with kids. I'm totally fine with any of the girls here, TG TS CD GG. As Marleena I see all of the girls as my friends. I really don't care about anybody's sexuality.

This says it all for me, too. Heterosexual. Want to be with women only. However, I have a strong feminine side, and love the feeling of how I look dressed. I'm pretty sure that had I been born female, I would have been a lesbian. However, that's a topic for another thread. :battingeyelashes:

[Sophiewouldbenice]

<- Hetero to 70-90% ;) - never tried a man, and I will not try but I am not totally sure.

[lynnhaven]

I suspect this science article (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/110411084330.htm) is relevant to this debate -- but I can't seem to figure out what they are saying!
Shewwwww weeeee I think I am even more confused now!

[April_Ligeia]

I happen to be hetero, divorced with kids and in a relationship. Like many others here though, I think everyone in this forum is awesome, no matter what their sexual preference. I love all transgendered people!

[Johnnifer]

I hate threads like this as they always make me feel alone in the world. TG's and TG fans LOVE to go on and on about how strait they are and to show others that fact. With the only variations being those who insist they'd be Bi if they become a woman.

This time I am not reading this thread beyond skiming the first few entries as the last one I read (on Femurs TG comics forum page) left me very depressed.

[evadan]

I am hetero all the way and have had only one lover ever - my beautiful, passionate wife. I am sure it was hard for your SO to share this side of himself with you but he needed to do it. Don't take it personally. You don't have any shortcomings in his eyes and you have not failed him in any way. Ask lots of questions and try to understand his needs and tendencies. Set boundaries and indulge him to the extent you feel comfortable. I think after reading all of these responses and based on my own experience, you can be sure he is 100% hetero and most likely very devoted to you.

Eva

[susangirl]

Cindyo, I only want to be with my wife and have never had any homosexual thoughts in my life. What I do like is to dress in beautiful clothing and for a short time feel the pleasures of being a woman. Walking into a store and making my way through the womens department dressed in a silky short dress, nude stockings, 4" pumps with medium length blond hair is the best. (this is what am wearing right now as a respond to your post). When I am out dressed as Susan I watch other women and don't even look at men. Once I get my cross dressing fix I undress Susan and return to the normal man a I'm. Cross dressing is a sport to me.

[Launa]

From your view, 100% hetro guy dressing as a girl would seem strange and wierd. I know I'm a bit wierd but have come to accept it. I like being male and female. On my male side, I have enjoyed boxing and all form of martial arts competitions but have had to stop recently. On my girl side I like to dress all the way, be as girly as possible and probably should have been a hairdresser doing womens hair but I have no interest in hanging with men when dressed. I only want to hang only with my wife, girls like us or gg's but I would not want to be intimate with any guy.

[Monica93304]

I'm very much attracted to men. Not easy to find a good one I must admit, but the search is very fun. :daydreaming:

[DebbieL]

You got that right. The actual experience of being a lesbian is not the same as being a hetero guy visualizing how cool it might be to be a lesbian. :heehee:

There are some huge differences between what Lesbians do, what guys do, and what transsexual MtFs do with women. A transsexual MtF would prefer activities that are much more like those of Lesbians.

A cross-dresser, that is, a man who likes dressing as a woman, but enjoys being a man too, is likely to enjoy sex both ways, and may actually prefer sex as a man.

A fetish dresser, a man who enjoys certain items of clothing, is more likely to enjoy sex as a man, while wearing the specific items.


Ever go to a lesbian bar?

Yes, many of them, in Colorado Springs, Denver, New York City.

There are many different lesbian clubs with many different types of clientele. There are clubs where the women are a bit heavy, a bit more masculine, and a bit more aggressive. For me, I enjoyed going to these clubs and having the girls hit on me, and dance with me, but very often they made love more like boys too. Hot heavy and intense, but they were more like guys in that there wasn't as much foreplay and more desire to get their pleasure, and mine, relatively quickly. On the other hand, for a GG or even a TG who wants to be swept off her feet, these places love it when a femme comes in and wants to party with them.

There are also clubs I call "Cotton" clubs, because the women usually wear jeans or pants, cotton camisoles or shirts, an loose fitting cotton blouses. They are fun places to go, and for the most part, the girls there are very friendly. When I go to these clubs I'll usually wear denim skirts and nude or tan hosiery, and get many offers to dance, as well as invitations to do more. On the other hand, there was one time when I caught the interest of a Bisexual woman (known as a "Ding Ding"), and her girlfriend wanted to get me out back where I would get neutered with a jack-knife. Fortunately, a few of the other girls who knew me got word, and did everything they could to prevent that from happening. When I finally heard about it, I said "I'm almost tempted to go back there and let them do it", but when the reminded me that this would be without anesthesia and might involve other things as well (a "Lorena Bobbit"), it made me pause just long enough for them to get the would-be perpetrators calmed down.

There are "Leather" Clubs - Many "Alternative Lifestyle clubs" like the Vault, or Hawgs, or some of the other leather clubs provide some very interesting variations for the girl with something extra. There are many women in this circle who are mostly lesbian, but bisexual, who love having a TG who is eager and willing to submit to forced feminization as well as bondage, discipline, and humiliation. I've had limited success in these clubs, because I'm a switch. I can enjoy being the domina, but I can also enjoy being the sub even more. I was a very good domme, and women loved my touch, which is much more like what women to women, than when men tend to do to women.

There are "Satin" clubs, where there are lots of women in shorter skirts, shiny fabrics, sheer hosiery, and in general a lot of Lipstick Lesbians. This was also an interesting place to meet bisexual women who wanted the girl with something extra. Many loved that I was so femme, and at the same time was obviously not gay, and obviously not your "Typical Man in a Dress".

Unfortunately, not being attracted to men was a liability in terms of HRT and SRS consideration. In the original Harry Benjamin papers, even someone who knew they wanted to be a girl, was often advised NOT to go further because they would still have to struggle with the social consequences of being a lesbian after the procedure. These standards have been gradually changed as lesbian or bisexual relationships are more widely accepted in society as a whole.


Ever notice how, on average, the girls have a different sort of look from the girls in straight bars?

Again, it depends on which bars. Smaller cities, especially in the southwest have very few clubs for Lipsticks and in many clubs, the Lipsticks are referred to as "Pixies" because they are generally shorter, thinner, less muscular than even average women. They often hang in a group in a corner of the bar, and are a bit cliquish. Once of the reasons I moved East was because I had learned that there were not only many lesbian bars and clubs for Lipsticks, but also there were more "Mixed" clubs where there were many transgenders and cross-dressers as well as many bisexuals.


This raises the issue of a difficult truth: Sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same thing, but they are related.

Absolutely true. Furthermore, there are different degrees of both sexual identity and sexual preference. The Kinsey scale for preference, had six degrees and was extended to 7. The Benjamin ranking also had 7 degrees. And then you have to consider both genders, which gives you a possibility of 14 degrees across the scale, from the totally heterosexual man and totally heterosexual woman, to the totally homosexual man and the totally lesbian woman. Then you have 14 degrees of gender identity. This results in roughly 196 permutations possible. Even if we have the 7x7 matrix, that's 49 different combinations for a given genetic gender. And this person could chose from possible 98 combinations of partner (48 male, 48 female).

Right Wing Conservative Fundamentalist organizations say that "ALL NORMAL PEOPLE" are Alpha male masculine exclusively heterosexual in thought and action, attracted only to Totally feminine female who is ONLY attracted to Alpha Males. The presumption being simple Darwin theory that Alpha males would prevent feminine males from breeding, and that they would refuse to mate with a partner who wasn't feminine. If you think about it, that is totally absurd!

Yet we see in practice, that even within these movements, there are numerous effeminate men, and numerous masculine women. In fact, Bisexuality may be the norm, with more feminine men being attracted to more masculine women, and masculine women being attracted to effeminate men. So if a very feminine woman wants a fully feminized man, would she still be heterosexual? Or would she be a bisexual? Conversely, if cross-dresser were attracted to women who were a bit heavier, more sexually aggressive, and more dominant, would they be heterosexual, or would the be bisexual?

Fortunately, the urge to perpetuate the species (sexual arousal) overrides mathematics. Most people have a spectrum that they would be willing to consider that may fall outside their "ideal" range, especially if that someone near their ideal actively expresses interest and attraction. A mostly heterosexual man my find a transsexual woman, even a pre-op, very arousing and attractive, and if she were to actively express her attraction, might actually be attractive to a bisexual man who was primarily attracted to women, or a bisexual WOMAN who was primarily attracted to women.

Social and cultural pressures, however, can motivate a wider range of attractive partners of the OPPOSITE sex than of the same sex. So a bisexual woman who is primarily attracted to women might be more inclined to consider a cross-dresser or transsexual (pre-op or post-op), as would a bisexual man. Conversely, a bisexual man might be more attracted to a more "butch" woman and may be less inclined to consider even a cross-dresser.


If one shifts, the other can too. I've known plenty of folks who, after transitioning, switched to 100% men. How about them pink apples?

The transitioning process itself can cause this. As a transitioning person gets better at passing, better at being attractive, and better at courtship rituals appropriate to their new gender, they may tend to have more offers from those they had previously not considered candidates. For example, if an MTF TG starts living full-time as part of transition, she is more likely to get approached by men, who simply find her attractive, and women who are more feminine might view her more as competition, rather than as dating material. Given a few months of being aggressively approached by men who are willing to treat her like she's something special, want to dance with her, buy her drinks and dinners, and can get very seductive, or a beautiful Lipstick Lesbian who doesn't want to let on that she's bi, or a bisexual woman who might approach you discretely, but will soon after be approached by a man who is interested in a 3-way, but not with the "Drag Queen".

If you are an MtF, you can go into a gay bar or mixed bar, start dancing with the girls, and have a young man who is attracted to you wanting to "cut in". Or he may approach you and offer to buy you a drink and then ask you to dance. If he is gentle, takes it slow, and takes the time to get you aroused - even though he knows that you're in transition, it becomes a far more attractive offer than the girls who are flirting but may take weeks to know well enough that they will approach you directly. Over time, as transition progresses, as HRT softens the curves and adds new features, there are more offers, a wider selection of men, and an ever smaller selection of women.

After SRS, if the procedure goes well, you are able to enjoy all forms of sex with a man, including vaginal penetration. Men become even MORE attractive, and the range of men now extends to a wide range of bisexual tops as well as open minded heterosexual men.

In reality, both identity and preference are usually in flux. Even the most heterosexual man will see some men they find very attractive, and will see some women as unattractive.

There are far more than just the skin-to-skin aspects to consider as well. An MtF who meets a man who is very attracted, treats her very well, and wants to provide for her could easily give up the issue that he isn't the girl of his dreams, might even have a few extra pounds, and might have some thinning hair. If he can also make the bells ring in the bedroom, how can a girl refuse.


As for me, I'm "half gay, half girl" (bisexual crossdresser). I can't date manly men, but I do like tall, smooth, and pretty guys. Also I can't date girly girls. They have to be sort of tomboyish. My "either/or" sexuality is a mirror of my "either/or" gender, and I think that's the truest equilibrium I may ever find on the spectrum. Inside and out.

For me, I've had some very unpleasant experiences of men that I would have to overcome to be attracted to one. I've had certain situations, when I was fully pretty, that a handsome man would make an offer that was really attractive, that I almost went for it. Like being in my black leather skirt, thigh high boots, black leather jacket, and as I'm walking into the bar, a very handsome guy with a nice build, no beard stubble, and wearing leather chaps, gets off his Harley and asks if I want a ride. In that moment, I'm thinking Hell yeah, you give me a ride on that rolling vibrator and then I'll give you a ride with me in the front and you in the back-door.

But even as my eyes light up and I start to say yes, I have flashbacks of throwing up while trying to give a blow-job, getting beat up by the boys in 2nd through 8th grade, and the guys who raped women I knew and loved, and suddenly his black chaps and black jacket are more threatening. I tell him I'd like to go in and dance for a while first, but could I take a rain-check. He nods, and I never see him again. He probably just figured I was a tease, or a hustler.

On the other hand, I have had wonderful relationships with very masculine women. I am attracted to the girly-girls, but I'm not willing to be out-bitched. I am a patient and kind lover, and I can do wonderful things for my partner, but beautiful girly-girls tend to expect it, and if you can't give them want they want, the just call out "Next" and there's someone else ready to take your place.

The women I've had the most wonderful relationships with, the ones who I enjoyed the most were a bit heavier, had deep voices, were very aggressive and aggressively seductive, and weren't afraid to let me know in no uncertain terms that they wanted ME, and they wanted me IN THE DRESS, and they wanted my feminine side. I've had those kinds of tom-boy girls come onto me thinking I'd be a good one-night stand - who ended up together with me for a year or more. One even married me. We're still married. I have no trouble sorting the laundry. The cottons are hers, the silkies are mine. The darker colors of blue, red, and brown are hers, the pastels are mine. The baggy loose fitting pants are hers, the stretchy form-fitting ones that show my butt off, are mine. Sometimes, when I have go some place in drag (boy mode), I will borrow her clothes. I have enough dress shirts and dress pants to pass for a week and do laundry, but even then I have to put on a camisole or T-shirt that will minimize the "points" that might otherwise draw attention.

Even though the identity at the core doesn't change (I'm a girl on the inside), my expression often does. When my wife threatened to get force supervised visitation (a few hours in a stark room with a social worker watching your every move - and any inappropriate behavior, such as feminine gestures, could be grounds for revoking visitation, and INCREASING child support), I had to put my transition plans on the skids. On the flip side, when, just before my dad died, he told me to "Be yourself" - knowing that he had seen my pictures of Debbie and reviews of books about gender changing - the urge to transition became stronger than ever because he had been the one person I didn't want to hurt who told me he would be hurt. My wife supports my cross-dressing, but she's not so keen on the idea of transition. I'm looking for a therapist in NJ now.

The question posed in the thread is nearly impossible to answer. Because it's so dynamic.

[aly01]

I know without a doubt that I am 100% hetero. I want to only look at women, and not even think of the other way.

[Barbara Ella]

CINDYO

I am also among the hetro CDers, even if just coming to realize the fullness of the situation. Married 41 years, faithfully, with two grown daughters, and a wonderful grandson. Faithful, and yet I love all wonderful women here.

Babes

[rebekkadg]

In the CDing community just like the non cross dressing community there are people who are driven one way or another from an early age, but yeah there are some that change their strips after CDing for a while. I think sexual orientation can be altered over time but it is no more or less likely to be altered by being a CD in and of itself. I think someone who is regularly hit on by men and feels constant rejection in relationships with females might start moving into a homosexual orientation even if they were perfectly straight before. If one gender finds you more appealing on a regular basis and the other doesn't you start to feel appeal back.
For the record I am 100% heterosexual. I don't find anything sexy about males at all, and I feel pretty and sexy when I crossdress and enjoy it.

[Amy Hepker]

Only GGs for me, I have CD friends, but that is all they are.

[kathie225]

Can't imagine being with anyone other than my wife. We're closing in on 50 years of marriage.

[Kat42]

100% hetero - never looked upon any male and felt attracted. Only attraction is to females. I've sometimes wondered if that's what I desired to emulate a female (If I'm not attracted to me, why would anyone else? Therefore to be desired is to be female). I can understand lesbianism (Women are beautiful things), but gays are a complete mystery (men are beasts).

Apparently the female brain is wired a bit differently because my spouse loves me for who I am....

[Kendappa]

I have no idea. I like men mostly but also women. I hope this helps?

[Noemi]

Hey Girly,

The sex will tell you all you need to know. Your love making together, is it intense and wonderful? Does he really get off, can you make him very hard. Sorry I do not mean to be crude, sex is beautiful. Let him dress and explore, it should be OK. There is only a small percentage of cd's that are trans or gay, meaning they like men. There is allot to read on this forum.

[Andrea Renea]

100% heterosexual . Always been attracted to girls. Girls have always been attracted
to me. Maybe because i'am the way I'am.

[UKToni]

100% hetero here although my lady friends take some convincing of that when they see my painted toes and lingerie!!!:devil:l On a more serious note, based on my experiences,you questioning his sexuality is probably the number one response initially of most SOs...perfectly natural but as no doubt as many others will point out crossdressing appears to have no higher % of gays than the whole of society.
Good luck with your journey

[Imeni]

You know, honestly, I don't think I could hack it as a woman full time. I've grown up with the mindset of a man, and while I very much enjoy wearing the clothes, especially alone with my lady, who also has dated women so I'm her "Perfect mate", I do know for a fact that even with a female body, I'd still be interested in women. Being a man, I love my body. I'm a little overweight, got some hair in some places, and I love me. I'm awesome. Amazing. Spectacular. But just the idea of being even somewhat involved with a man in any level of affection, even flirting, is a huge turnoff. Do I wish my girlfriend was a little more... domineering? Hell yeah! But as for me, I'm all about her and all the ladies in the world. Men just have no appeal to me at all.

[Contessa]

I am about to tell everybody something maybe they might find enlightening. There is no way to prove you are not gay. So will not say I am cause I have no way if I know I am not to prove that I am not. If some guy is gay and he tries to keep it a secret he might as well try not to be. The only thing he can do is out himself trying to find a way to prove he is not. I think I have said that correctly. So the only to keep from having to be thought of as gay is not to act like it. And don't tell anyone you might be or that you are unless you really are, cause there really nothing wrong with being gay. I say that because I would not want anybody think that there is something wrong with them.

I am married 37 years now to the same woman. Yes she does not agree with my dressing, she thinks that dressing as a woman for a man can only mean he is trying to attract men. With her thinking I think that would mean dressing as a policeman would mean trying to attract criminals.

Since I would not chose to be hated. By my own effort, I would not want anyone to think I am gay. Therefore I won't tell you jokingly or dress up in someway to make you think I am. Dressing as a woman is not something a gay person would do to prove that he is gay. That is not what they are about. Some might dress to show that they are but that won't be the only thing. I don't want to keep going in circles about this. Usually if a man is not gay he will usually say he isn't and will not usually not act like it. Putting on ladies clothes is not a act that is gay, though you might think so. I just don't think there are more men who want to wear a dress that are gay than there are men who like men.

Are there more men who wear woman's clothes than there are gay men?

Tess

[Melody1985]

I don't know the percentage.. But I am 100% hetero. No attraction whatsoever to men.

[Sedona]

Can't remember if I responded before, but another one here. Zero physical/sexual attraction to men, when I'm "dressed" or not.

[Nicola]

In girly mode or in drab, I also have zero physical or sexual attraction to men.

Nicola

[Jenniferpl]

Only original women for me. The thought of being pursued by men does nothing for me.

[Rachel Flowers]

I always believed everyone is bi but that is simply never met a man I fancied. Finding myself attracted to a man lady year made me realise it's happened several times but I've not recognised it. I think that the terms straight, lesbian and gay are helpful as are male and female.

[TVKellyNY]

In drab, I love all girls. When Kelly, I love playing with boys. Haven't yet played with another girl (GG or otherwise), but would love to. So, I guess I'm bi. Maybe tri-sexual, as in I'll try most anything at least once.

[CO_Bobbie]

I am hetero, twice married with 2 grown children. I think you'll find the vast majority of CDers identify themselves at straight.

[ReineD]

With her thinking I think that would mean dressing as a policeman would mean trying to attract criminals.

Well, actually dressing as a policeman would tend to repel criminals. :)

But, I do get your point. I also thought at one point that my SO's motive to dress sexy was the same as mine, which is to appeal to men if I am single and looking, or my SO if I am in a relationship. When I am out with just women or spending an evening at a girlfriend's house, I do not wear sexy lingerie and low cut or body hugging clothes.

But, I was wrong. My SO dresses the way she does to express her ideal femininity.

[SometimesDiana]

If you believe in the Kinsey scale, then very few men (crossdresser or not) are exclusively hetersexual. Most of us probably fall somewhere near the heterosexual end of the spectrum but nearly everyone has some level of bisexual traits. Supposedly, 46% of males have "reacted" sexually to persons of the same gender and 37% had at least one homosexual experience (Wikipedia). I'm going to guess that, on average, crossdressers score slightly higher (more bi) on the Kinsey scale.

[retrofitme]

I'm in the 100% hetero/straight category - Zero attraction to males.

[kellylynn_31]

Happily married and 100% Hetero

[Dahlia T]

I can understand that it's easy to get gender-identity and sexual orientation mixed up. Traditions are hard to shake! I found (with the help of talking with my wife) that my desire to dress as female comes from my adoration of females. I think woman are so much more attractive and sexy then men are. So, part of me wants to experience feeling that attractive and I can only see feeling that way through portraying the ones that I find so beautiful...women.

So very well put. That is exactly the way I feel and why I dress. I've been married for almost 29 yrs to my lovely wife. Went I look at a pretty woman now, I look at everything about her, dress, walk.hair...ect.

[eluuzion]

How about...How many CDs will give you a "straight" answer? lol.
Asking that question on this forum is almost like asking how many people "lie". lol

Considering that there does not seem to be any agreement or accuracy in any of the attempts to estimate the total number of CDs to begin with...it is not
realistic to expect any accuracy in any attempts to estimate breakdown categories of an unknown population. That is just my logical opinion.

So, that means all you can expect is WAGuessing and opinions...which of course are often presented as "facts",:D

It is like asking somebody like me if I quit smoking. My answer is "yes", I quit smoking, because it was getting way out of control. Now, the only time I smoke is when I want a cigarette, lol.

I have seen many indirect "answers" relating to your question on this forum that amount to..."I'm not "gay". I'm only attracted to "men" when I am
cross-dressed". Now, explain to me just what the h**l that is supposed to mean? heheheee. Is that some concept like a "Mulligan" in golf. Or "it does not count" because you opened your eyes in hide-n-seek? Or "it wasn't me...it was "her"...(imaginary friend)...lol

This is a world where people redefine, modify and "technically" expand definitions and interpretations of their behavior to justify just about anything they do not wish to be held responsible for.

I also agree with the option of just confining your focus and interpretations to your particular circumstances and your SO. That, I can assure you, will be
confusing enough...


But, if you must know...here is an answer for you...

4 out of every 3 men are hetero. 40% of half of them are CD, with another 75% of the 26% that are lying being bi-sexual. But only 82% of those individuals are being honest with themselves, leaving the remaining 18% engaging in self deception. Plus, 98% of that 18% blame their unacceptable behavior or desires on an imaginary "friend", that is actually claimed to be an existing, but separate personality of a person that exists in their mind, but not in reality...that has nothing to do with any type of personality disorder.
Unfortunately, it is a fact that 12 out of every 9 CDs have a problem with math...

I hope that clears things up for you...:heehee:


good luck,
:love:

11/27 edit...

Oops I forgot about that unspoken rule where anytime somebody mentions sexual orientation...everybody automatically needs to announce their 100% hetero orientation (even though nobody directly asked them about it, :heehee:).

So, here I go... As to my answer regarding a 100% hetero sexual orientation, let me make things perfectly clear. I can confidently give you a definite maybe. :D

[Melody1985]

I hear what you are saying eluuzion. But to me, that very line of thinking is how most people in the "normal" world think. Which makes it more difficult for whoever is hetero to tell anyone, because most people will just assume you are at least bi if not all the way gay. And if u accuse a straight man of being gay when he's not, back up cause it may get ugly!

[youngjulie3]

it is very tough to decide with ones terms if they are straight or bi or gay, i myself am bi.. love women but also have been with men when dressed.. im not afraid to admit i have been sexual with men before..

[Diane Smith]

I really, truly have no interest in "being with" a man. In fact, one of the main reasons I dress, I'm sure, is to associate myself with women as much as possible and to reject much of what I see as negative and destructive about being male in this society. Why would I want to associate physically with a member of the same group I am trying so visibly to escape from? I always try to seek out female co-workers, doctors, beauty professionals and SAs for all the services I need, and most of my closest friends and role models over the years have always been women.

This is not to say that I don't enjoy relationships with some very fine male friends, and I have had the privilege of having some great male teachers, mentors and (some, but not all) family members over the years. But this has never been because of their "masculine" qualities; quite the contrary, it is the gentle, nurturing side of these men that have appealed to me (and very few of them have been sports fans or members of stereotypically "macho" professions). But none of them has appealed to me in any way as a potential sex partner. My physical attraction is solely toward women.

This may be a classic definition of AGP or "male lesbianism;" I don't really know why it is the way I feel, and I'm kind of turned off by trying to label it, anyway. But in any case, I try to live a female-centered existence in every sense and see this just as an extension of my commitment and comfort level among women. I wouldn't, of course, think the less of anyone else for making different choices or associations in their own lives, but this is what works for me.

- Diane

[Beverley Sims]

Yes!
I tell little fibs and Macys only give 10% of the sale price and not the list price.
By the way?
How long is a piece of string?

[Dana7]

Cindyo:

You are asking the question regarding sexual orientation of CDers. That is a separate issue from Gender Identity, which is what crossdressing typically involves.

There are several studies on crossdressing that confirm that the vast majority are heterosexual. If you do a google search on the terms "crossdressing studies heterosexual" you can find some excellent articles on the topic. There have been several studies conducted regarding the sexual orientation of crossdressers. The consensus of these studies can be found in some books described at this page:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-33529.html

According the person posting the names of books that summarize crossdressing studies, these books explain that "the various studies have found crossdressers are usually hetrosexual-ish. In other words, the number of gay and bisexual crossdressers appear to be pretty similar to the population at large."

If your SO is claiming to be heterosexual, then it is very likely that he truly is. Whether he is faithful and monogamous, the author says, is another issue entirely.

There is another site that goes into some detail with analysis of the gender-identity vs. sexual orientation distinction. These two concepts are separate and need to be identified separately. Here is an excerpt from the site:

http://toselfbetrue.com/transgender/index.html

"Crossdressing refers to cross-gender expression, often the expression of a gender identity. People generally experience their gender identity and their sexual orientation as two different things. Gender identity means one’s sense of oneself as male, female, or some type of transgender. Sexual orientation refers to one’s erotic attraction to men, women, both, or neither. Logically, any variant of gender identity could be paired with any variant of sexual orientation. We can think of a person’s “gender identity and sexuality” constellation as having five components:

1. Genetic sex (chromosomal sex)
2. Primary gender identity
3. Secondary gender identity
4. Primary preference in romantic/sexual partners
5. Secondary preference in romantic/sexual partners

"The primary-secondary distinction for gender identity and sexuality stems from the fact that people may be bi-gender, having both masculine and feminine components to their personalities; and they may be bisexual, having erotic attractions to both men and women. People who are bi-gender or bisexual practically always have a stronger identity or preference and a weaker one.

"The most commonly encountered heterosexual men are ♂♂♂♀♀; the most commonly encountered heterosexual women are ♀♀♀♂♂; most lesbians are ♀♀♀♀♀; and most gay men are ♂♂♂♂♂. According to the best research data available, most part-time male crossdressers are ♂♂♀♀♀. Whether or not that research stands the test of time, the essential point for this discussion is that typical crossdressers and typical gay men are not one and the same. They have different constellations of personality traits."

So in conclusion, Cindyo, it is not hard to believe that your SO is truly heterosexual even though he may have a preference for crossdressing and displaying feminine gender traits. The scientific studies that have explored these issues have found that Gender Identity is distinct from Sexual Orientation. From the available literature you can find that it is a widely accepted finding in the medical community that the vast majority of crossdressers are primarily heterosexual and not homosexual in their sexual orientation.

[paulinescotlandcd]

I would say I am 100% hetro, no interest in a men in any way. Just love women and do like to dress as one every now and then.

[Marleena]

When I first replied I missed the motive for this thread. When a CDer comes out the first two questions are :"are you gay? "or "do you want a sex change? ". Man I hate those two questions now!

If he says he's straight, most likely he is.

[ReineD]

Written by Jamie Anne:
http://toselfbetrue.com/transgender/index.html

"... We can think of a person’s “gender identity and sexuality” constellation as having five components:

1. Genetic sex (chromosomal sex)
2. Primary gender identity
3. Secondary gender identity
4. Primary preference in romantic/sexual partners
5. Secondary preference in romantic/sexual partners

The most commonly encountered heterosexual men are ♂♂♂♀♀; the most commonly encountered heterosexual women are ♀♀♀♂♂; most lesbians are ♀♀♀♀♀; and most gay men are ♂♂♂♂♂. According to the best research data available, most part-time male crossdressers are ♂♂♀♀♀. Whether or not that research stands the test of time, the essential point for this discussion is that typical crossdressers and typical gay men are not one and the same. They have different constellations of personality traits."


Dana, I agree with your statement that sexual orientation among the crossdressing community is the same mix of hetero and homosexuality as in the general populace. I also think that Jamie Anne's symbols (who you quote above), that graphically illustrate the difference between CDs and gay men, are clever.

But, I disagree with her 5 point model. I think she overly complicates gender identity and sexual attraction, seemingly to account for her own internal sense of gender partitioning. I wonder if she is among the many CDs who feel hetero when in guy mode but attracted to men while dressed, and so she constructs a paradigm to explain this rather than simply say she is bi, or acknowledge it is not a real attraction to men that she experiences but rather a wish to amplify her feminine sexuality. Jamie Anne also does not take into account an important part of the gender definition, which is a person's comfort with socially constructed gender roles and expression.

Jamie Anne separates both gender identity and sexual attraction into primary and secondary levels. She is the only person I've seen do this. Cisgenders do not have secondary gender identity* or sexual attraction. They are either male or female and they either are hetero, gay, or bi. Likewise, transgenders (CDs or TSs) are either hetero, gay, or bi.

*When cismales and cisfemales say they exhibit some opposite gender traits (which is perhaps what Jamie Anne attempts to explain with the primary & secondary gender identities), such as a male who likes to cook and do housework and a female who enjoys soldering and funiture building, I believe it is because they have not caught up with the notion that personal preferences for work or other activities are not gendered. These people are still adhering to the old-fashioned, 1950s model that maintained strict labor division among men and women.

[GeminaRenee]

It seems to me that the odds that your SO is "100% straight" are about the same as if he is a mechanic, a professional ballplayer, a lawyer, if he likes hamburgers, if he enjoys running, if he watches TV, etc, etc...

My meaning, of course, is that by immediately associating CD'ing with sexual orientation, we fall into the usual boxes that "normal people" like to put us into. Although dressing up may be a sexually charged experience for many of us, I would tend to think that that charge simply accentuates our underlying sexual orientation, rather than defining it.

There's no way for anyone here to give you any more than a cursory idea about your husband's sexuality. It seems like the majority of CD'ers find themselves towards the straight end of the continuum, if that's any consolation. Hopefully your hubby resides there, too. But like any population in society, the possibility of him being less than 100% vadge-oriented exists. Don't let that worry you That possibility would exist whether he likes to wear petticoats, or not! Take any sufficiently-large sample of the population, and you will find people from straight to gay to in between. No worries!

It sounds like you are hurt about having been lied to. I can empathize, and I'm sure it feels like a whole bucket of worms might be opened up by this. But I think one important thing for you to understand is why he's been lying. Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending lying to one's SO in any way! But you have to understand probably how scared he was by the prospect of you finding out. CD life is SUCH a taboo!! I don't think I'm wrong when I say that you could expect more empathy & understanding from people by stating that you're gay, than if you came out and stated that you are a CD. There's just no societal understanding of our lifestyles. So you can imagine that he didn't tell you because he was truly, deeply afraid of losing everything - including the woman he loves. So give your SO a mulligan card, and try to go forward from this day being accepting and understanding. That's the greatest gift you can give him

And don't worry so much about his sexuality. Unless he keeps whispering "Oh, Bradley!" while you're making love - then you might have a reason. But if so, don't blame it on the the dressing! (;

Hope some/all of my rambling is helpful!

[weyburn]

Have never had sex with aman,am married,have been to a gay pub/bar and even went to a steambath(did nothing watched a bit)The only time I think about sex with a man is when i get dressed up(even partially dressed)At those times I feel i could be a real woman.Quite messy I would say.So I have been 1oo%hetero but potentially could wander