oh my! a big step today.

[Sophora]

So everyone in work pretty much refers to me as "she" now. However I had a major step in my transitioning today. I normally don't go to the public restrooms as I don't know if I would offend anyone however today at work I had to go very bad, and it was the beginning of the dinner rush so the resturant was getting pretty busy. so there I was having to go and didn't want to go. however my body had different plans and so I decided to go. I didn't think about it at all, I just walked right into the female restroom. did my business and then washed my hands and went back to work.

I was so nervous when I was in there but it felt very right to be in there. and the best part, no one said a thing to me. I am very exciting and everything. another roadblock down more to go.

[Teri Jean]

Good for you Sophora, the bathroom issue is a big issue for many and it looks like the first experiance went well.

[Bree-asaurus]

Awesome! I'm afraid to use the girls restroom for fear of being outed and someone calling the cops... I've done it a couple times when necessary, but I'm nervous about it.

[Eileen]

Just act like you have always used the ladies room! It is just another part of being out in public. Be confident and you should be just fine.

[Hope]

Good for you!

Eventually you will stop looking at the door and fretting, eventually you will stop praying that you don't see anyone else inside, and it will become second nature.

[Wendy_Marie]

It's funny (Not funny ha ha, but funny strange) how one person looks at a given scenario/situation as you describe here and it scares them..and another person never thinks twice about it....I'm not saying I haven't had trepidations about using the Ladies room when the need to go "Sissy" hit.
But being this is a natural bodily function that everyone has to heed the call of and since I have never viewed my gender based strictly on my plumbing being of the "Outy" variety and not "Inny" .....I feel that even if someone were to call me out for being in the ladies...it would be far less of a situation and safer for my personal well being....than what would most likely occur for being a "man in a dress" caught in the mens room.

Yes it's true that in a worse case scenario it's possible the Police might get called and I involved in some dispute over legalities of being in the ladies room...but I still find this a much more acceptable and appealing situation to find myself in than finding myself in need of a trip to the Hospital after a confrontation with some testosterone filled male egotist.......I believe in the long run...women are just more likely to be open to and understanding of these needs in the TG/TS community.

In the long run...one or the other of these scenarios would probably be just about as equally costly...so when it comes to the point where as my father use to say...."My eye teeth are floating." and the call of nature is immenent.....I will choose the door with the pic of the woman wearing a dress....so long as I am wearing one equally as cute.

[Melody Moore]

I think we all feel like we are entering the forbidden zone of "No Man's Land" when we start using female
toilets or bathrooms - The fears & reservations we have about entering such a female domain is just
another one of the other fears we have to deal with where we feel we might be rejected or ostracised
when we are 'coming out'. But my experience has proven to me now that all my fears & reservation
were ill-founded & a hurdle that I created for myself.

I felt nervous as hell the first time I used the ladies as well, but I felt that it was the right thing for me to
do regardless of the reservations I was also having. Let's also be realistic, walking into a men's toilet as a
female didn't sound like a smart thing to do because of the high risk of sexual assault or violence that could
also occur in that type of a situation. So going to a men's toilet as a female sounds totally crazy to me.

But I must say I felt a lot better about it after my name was changed and my gender marker was changed on
my drivers license and other ID. Because if ever there was any sort of dispute where police or security have to
intervene, then I know I will be fine because it is illegal to discriminate against someone like this here in Australia.

But nothing remotely like that has ever occurred in well over a year of living as a female. Now when I go to the
ladies it's no different to when I lived as a male & used the men's toilets. You go in there to do what you have
to, and sometimes others will say hello to you, or make a comment about the weather or whatever. So you just
have to relax & learn to interact with your new 'same sex peers' just as you did in your previous gender identity.

[Hope]

I think we all feel like we are entering the forbidden zone of "No Man's Land" when we start using female
toilets or bathrooms - The fears & reservations we have about entering such a female domain is just
another one of the other fears we have to deal with where we feel we might be rejected or ostracised
when we are 'coming out'. But my experience has proven to me now that all my fears & reservation
were ill-founded & a hurdle that I created for myself.

I felt nervous as hell the first time I used the ladies as well, but I felt that it was the right thing for me to
do regardless of the reservations I was also having. Let's also be realistic, walking into a men's toilet as a
female didn't sound like a smart thing to do because of the high risk of sexual assault or violence that could
also occur in that type of a situation. So going to a men's toilet as a female sounds totally crazy to me.

But I must say I felt a lot better about it after my name was changed and my gender marker was changed on
my drivers license and other ID. Because if ever there was any sort of dispute where police or security have to
intervene, then I know I will be fine because it is illegal to discriminate against someone like this here in Australia.

But nothing remotely like that has ever occurred in well over a year of living as a female. Now when I go to the
ladies it's no different to when I lived as a male & used the men's toilets. You go in there to do what you have
to, and sometimes others will say hello to you, or make a comment about the weather or whatever. So you just
have to relax & learn to interact with your new 'same sex peers' just as you did in your previous gender identity.

This.

Most of my fear with using the ladies room has surrounded involving the police. And I have a carry letter in my purse, but I have NEVER given it a second thought (I actually pulled it out about a week ago wondering what it was). I'm not sure how much a carry letter would do to keep me out of jail.

I am going in front of the judge for my legal name change on Tuesday, and I will be at the DMV later that afternoon to get a new license with a new photo, and a new name, and a new gender marker... and I can't WAIT. I am Sooooo antsy for it. Somehow I already know that if I ever get challenged in a ladies room, and the cops get called, presenting my properly gendered ID will result in an apology - instead of handcuffs.

I know the rules, and I behave myself, and I comfortable in the space (I have only had minor trouble once, and it was months ago) - save that last uncomfortable thought. I can't wait to just tinkle in peace - without the not completely unfounded fear of imprisonment.

[CharleneT]

GOOD for you ! If they are using pronouns well, they aren't likely to be bothered by you in the ladies room.

:bighug2:

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Sophora, congratulations on overcoming your fear of using the right restroom.

Shortly before I began my transition, there was some debate about this in my company's HR department but it was cut short by the head of HR saying "Rianna is a woman, she must be free to use the same facilities as every other woman in the building".

From the first moment I used the correct facilities, the other women there made me feel like I belonged, so I know exactly what you mean about it feeling right to be there.

[Wendy_Marie]

Hi Sophora, congratulations on overcoming your fear of using the right restroom.

Shortly before I began my transition, there was some debate about this in my company's HR department but it was cut short by the head of HR saying "Rianna is a woman, she must be free to use the same facilities as every other woman in the building".
From the first moment I used the correct facilities, the other women there made me feel like I belonged, so I know exactly what you mean about it feeling right to be there.

And this in and of itself is amazing and drives my point home about Women being more likely to be understanding and accepting in the situation given.

[Melody Moore]

I have seen drag queens use the ladies toilets and the women haven't said a thing. I think there is
more of a chance of having a confrontation that could turn ugly & get violent being in the men's toilets
myself because men have such fragile egos that are easily intimidated & challenging to their sexuality. :heehee: