Finding a mentor?

[whowhatwhen]

Long version:
I've come to a point in my life where everything feels uncertain in so many different ways.
The curiosity and questions do not go away; but, I am not strong enough to deal with it alone.
I know so many of you have done this yourself and for that you have my respect and admiration, but I really think I need help.

Short version:
Is craigslist a safe place to look for someone to help you along?
I don't know anyone else/trust anyone else that would come close to understanding let alone anything else.

I know my parents finding out would be a whirlwind of awkward, I somehow doubt my mom accepts me as being bi despite saying it doesn't matter.

FYI: When asked if you're gay, do not respond with "It depends on whose asking and how much they're willing to pay".
You'll out yourself trying to explain.

Anyway, has anyone had luck finding someone to help them along?

[Danni Renee]

I am not sure about using craigslist or a personal ad to look for a mentor in general, let a lone for such a personal matter as crossdressing. I think I would look for a local crossdressing group that might help you along. As for me, I get most of my "mentoring" here from the site until I am redy to finally step out.

Danni

[Deana ♥ Danni]

I would not go to craigslist. You never know who you are dealing with. Would it be possible for you to find a professional to talk to?

Pax et bonum,
Deana

[christina s]

I would strongly recommend not using craiglist . I'm sure some members here must be from the Toronto area that could help you out or look into some local LBGT groups in your area.

[whowhatwhen]

You're all probably right, I guess what seems the easiest way can often end up being the worst.

[Eryn]

I think that you would be better off with someone from this site or with a local CDing group. CL is a bit scary.

Having someone to act as an example and dispense sage advice is wonderful. It really helped me get through the door.

[whowhatwhen]

It's weird having feminine desires increase seemingly exponentially and knowing that it's a part of your life now.
It's impossible to undo or ignore. Don't worry, I'm not going to purge; I'm too poor for that. :D

[AllieSF]

I agree that Craigslist may not be the way to go. I think that you need some patience and start going to some Tgroup meetings. The meetings themselves may or may not help, but the networking opportunity may just give you the contacts needed to meet someone to help you move forward. Good luck.

[Cynthia Anne]

I think you have received very good advice from the girls above! I would rather tie a raw steak around my neck and go swiming with sharks then trust craigslist! Hugs!

[Tina B.]

I would take my chances meeting someone that could help me, in a gay bar over craigs list, some people see cross dresser and read it as pervert, sex toy, VICTIM, or what ever, be carful looking for someone to help, make sure they want to help you, not themselves.
Tina B.

[whowhatwhen]

Yeah, I really should have known better than to think it was a good idea.

[cassandra54]

here's a thought. why don't you look for members of this site that are in your city? even if there aren't i bet there are more than a few members of this site that you could chat with on yahoo and use a webcam. another one is some of the dating sites like adult friend finder have members who are crossdressers. most of them are pretty scary, but there might be a few that are real that you could strike up an on-line friendship with, tell them what you want and then go from there. but let me reiterate, be very careful with adult friend finder, i think there are some decent people on this site, but i think most are flakes.

[*Vanessa*]

Long version:
I've come to a point in my life where everything feels uncertain in so many different ways.
The curiosity and questions do not go away; but, I am not strong enough to deal with it alone.
I know so many of you have done this yourself and for that you have my respect and admiration, but I really think I need help.

Short version:
Is craigslist a safe place to look for someone to help you along?
I don't know anyone else/trust anyone else that would come close to understanding let alone anything else.

I know my parents finding out would be a whirlwind of awkward, I somehow doubt my mom accepts me as being bi despite saying it doesn't matter.

FYI: When asked if you're gay, do not respond with "It depends on whose asking and how much they're willing to pay".
You'll out yourself trying to explain.

Anyway, has anyone had luck finding someone to help them along?

Oh my !

An unequivocal big NO to cregslist !!!!

As someone pointed out to me not more then 8 days ago and I paraphrase her "We Canadian's have it good and free health care system, use it". Please check out canada411.ca and look for a professional that can help you in T.O. You don't need someone to telling you how you need to think. You need someone the help you think things threw in a safe environment. To help you get through the crap that is fogging up your thought processes.

You will be fine, life has a way of working things out.

[Barbra P]

I thought I read in a post here that there was at least one transgender support group in Toronto, but what I think you need is some professional help. I mentioned that I had some TG issues to my Physician and she referred me to a Counselor who in turn referred me to a Therapist. Not being familiar with the Canadian medical system I can't advise you on how to find a qualified Therapist but I'm sure there are some in the Toronto area. Anything you say to a Therapist is strictly confidential, even my Personal Physician can't find out what I tell my Therapist.

[jillcutie]

in toronto there is a group called expressions, and there is also walk on the wild side. you should check them out

http://www.wildside.org

www.xpressions.org

[whowhatwhen]

I've been to wildside once, but just to buy something but I definitely would go again when I have more money.

Though, I don't think I could tell my doctor about that stuff.
I'm not even sure what I want and he would ask questions I don't know the answers to myself.

I've been thinking about it a lot today and I'm thinking it's a combination of:

Life issues other than CD
Feeling repressed (real or imagined)
Not expressing my feminine side

I still feel kinda bad about coming out as bi.
I told my mom and she didn't say anything other than being happy I was at least showing some interest and the conversation ended there.

Mentioning any of my other issues would be a landslide of awkward as she would probably view it as mental illness and keep suggesting I
talk to my psychiatrist, which I'm not ready for.

Sorry for bringing out the world's tiniest violin.
:)

[Karren H]

I know personally of one crossdresser who found a woman to help him through Craigs List and now they are an item. But I wouldn't recommend it. There are way too many crossdressers with hidden agendas. Usually involves sex. Be very careful!

[whowhatwhen]

O_o
I'll keep away, not looking for sex as there are bigger fish to fry.

[Wendy_Marie]

I recently discovered craigslist has many aspects involved with it....I hung around the chat forums and actually have made a couple of GG friends who frequent the Beauty and Fshion sections as well as the Woman for Woman threads....
Now, I don't go there to intentionally find people to meet up with...but I developed a real platonic friendship with one GG who after we exchanged e-mails for awhile insisted on meeting up with me and gave me several items of clothing she had cleaned out of her closet including a very cute peasant blouse which I happen to be wearing even as I type this response....two pair of cute earrings and a few other girly odds and ends......

So, it's really not any worse than any other socializing forum, just use common sense and don't be to quick to take some of these people at face value...

I have also had a few bad experiences there including one Tranny Chaser and an A-Hole who still tries to make contact with me just to call me names and tell me that since I am Trans...I must be gay.....sheesh.