Has anyone gone through this?

[GirlyBits]

Recently I have come to actually notice something. When I am standing around male friends and co-workers they almost always all see a girl and say the normal guy stuff like oh man she's so hot or oh man I wanna do her, the usual blah blah. Well when I look at the girl with them I have a very very hard time distinguishing weather or not I want to "do" them or "be" them. Has anyone ever gone trough anything like this?

[TGMarla]

Ha! The ol' "do her or be her" thread, arisen again from the dead, like an old zombie movie that just won't die, much like the characters in it! Hi GirlyBits. I know you're relatively new here, so welcome. This question has been bandied about on this forum for years. It's been discussed, affirmed, dismissed, trashed, tossed about, put through the shredder, placed in the oven with the gas turned on, thrown over a cliff, and put down the disposal at least a few dozen times here.

So get ready for a regular free-for-all, especially when our much loved and respected GGs get ahold of you! :heehee:

(And yes, I think most of the 'guys' here have felt this way at one time or another!)

[Karren H]

Usually the first thing I think is "god I love that purse!!".

[suchacutie]

Since I've been married to a completely supportive wife for 38 years, the "do her" piece just isn't a part of the equation, so my response these days always is the same: "Wow...she looks great...what is she doing that makes her look great?" Is it shape, presence, makeup, hair, choice of clothes (or not, as the case may be), shoes, accesories, voice, etc. In fact, it's very useful to make this analysis and apply it to what we wish to be!

:)

tina

[GirlyBits]

Lol funny enough that's pretty much my first thought, "omg I wish I could find those shoes in my size!"

TGMarla, I guess people have gone through this lol! Please make sure the GG's are gentle ! Hah!

[MisterMark_1]

haha when my mates say this. i do choose weather i would do her or not, but what diffrent is that when i see a hot girl i think, those are hot shoes or skirt etc... but i wouldnt say it in front of my mates lol. it makes me think what i would be like to have a girlfriend that encouraged me crossdressing. xx

[Wendy_Marie]

This is kinda on the same train of thought Girlybit's.....kinda but not quite....

I had a GG tell me that when she dressed for meeting a guy she dresses from the neck down because a guy's first assesment begins about chest high...Lol When she dressed for meeting a woman she dresses from the shoes up as a woman will assess you from what shoes you are wearing then to the rest of outfit.

I kinda believe this because I catch myself always looking down at a womans shoes first thinking the same thing as you stated above..."Those are adorable, I wonder where she got them and do they have them in my size.?"

I use to tell believe that I had a huge shoe festish..which is true, only not in a sexual fetish sense.

[Gillian Gigs]

I wonder, what kind of bra and panties are you wearing under that beautiful dress, or skirt and blouse. Then it is wonder if I could look that good in those clothes. Oh, by the way where did she get that outfit.

[GirlyBits]

Sitting back and thinking about it, I think I would rather be the women I look at. I mean I go through my day wishing that I was a girl, day after day after day. Just like a lot of us here I would assume.

[*Vanessa*]

Recently I have come to actually notice something. When I am standing around male friends and co-workers they almost always all see a girl and say the normal guy stuff like oh man she's so hot or oh man I wanna do her, the usual blah blah. Well when I look at the girl with them I have a very very hard time distinguishing weather or not I want to "do" them or "be" them. Has anyone ever gone trough anything like this?

Absolutely - I have a heightened awareness of Vanessa's thoughts lately. She is at the forefront of my being lately and that only happens when she feel safe.

Anyway... I feel that way all the time whether it's the boys talking or my SO bitching about how the weather girl looks. I look at girls all the time that way (well 90% anyway) and think; oh I like that skirt, but why did she wear that top with it. Or, mmm I love those shoes, I would have to polish my toes to wear them. Most of my thoughts end in either "I wonder how that would feel?" or "I know how that feels and I like it". I really hate my stupid boy bluejeans most of the time, yet strangely enough I love my camo pants.

[Sheila11]

Those of us with ADHD don't have a problem with this. My first thought is " I wonder what it would be like to ..... "SQUIRREL!!!!" did you see that?
What were we talking about?

[Katie83]

I have to agree with alot of the other posts here, i look at the shoes first, then the clothes, then make up, and then imagine my self wearing them! So probably the "be her" option.
Katie

[CindyT]

All the time! I see both every time, love to see beautiful women and I always want to BE that gal!!!

[KarenS]

When you say "do her", you are talking about dressing up in her style right?? That's usually what I think of.
Note: married to a wonderful wife for 37 years - and she knows.

[Wendy_Marie]

Those of us with ADHD don't have a problem with this. My first thought is " I wonder what it would be like to ..... "SQUIRREL!!!!" did you see that?
What were we talking about?

I watched this movie just last night with the Grandson..again for the eleventy-seventh time.

[Kittyagain]

That is me all the way.

Kitty


I wonder, what kind of bra and panties are you wearing under that beautiful dress, or skirt and blouse. Then it is wonder if I could look that good in those clothes. Oh, by the way where did she get that outfit.

[carhill2mn]

I am quite sure that more than one person here has at some time had similar feelings.

[Annajose]

First i wonder if she is wearing PH, then usually admire the legs with some envy and then of course the shoes, would love to have and wear them. Lets say that I day dream. Doing them at those times does not come to mind, cause I love my wife and like her a lot.

[prettytoes]

I constantly think the same thing! "how lucky she is to be so beautiful and to have such a wonderful wardrobe", or "wow, I wish I could be her and look that good in a bikini". I love my life, and my wife and daughters are wonderful, but I often wish that I was a good looking 20 year old girl!

[Torrey]

t's been discussed, affirmed, dismissed, trashed, tossed about, put through the shredder, placed in the oven with the gas turned on, thrown over a cliff, and put down the disposal at least a few dozen times here.

Sounds like someone's channeling their inner Douglas Adams...

[Roberta Roberts]

Like Karren, beside the purse, I usually think.....great outfit (wonder if it comes in my size) and great shoes...where did she get them

Cheers,
Roberta R.

[pantyhoselover]

Usually I want to be her. Love taking in the fashion. And doing her certainly wouldn't hurt..

[t-girlxsophie]

Always look at their outfit and wonder where she got it etc,and sometimes the Bitch in me comes out ,"What the hell is she thinking,wearing that":heehee:

Sophie

[MarinaKirax]

theres a quote I saw on this forum a while back that goes something like: "when I see a beautiful woman in a dress, I'm attracted to that woman. And I want that dress." MK

[DebbieL]

I've pretty much gotten that sorted out for myself. My wife knows that when I'm checking out a woman in a great looking outfit, I'm checking out the outfit, wondering where she bought it, if they have it in my size, how much weight I'd have to lose to look as good in it as she does, and where I would be able to wear it. In fact, sometimes when my wife sees a woman in an outfit she knows I'd like, she'll discreetly tell me what to check out, and I'm always grateful.

As for "doing her", that's nothing more than a nice fantasy, period. All I know is she's wearing a great outfit. I don't know what her personality is like, whether she would like making love to Debbie or not, whether she has a boyfriend, or even whether she is dressed up for her boyfriend, or because she's a hooker, or because she just came out of church.

In fact, if a woman like that came up to me and tried very hard to get me interested and tried to seduce me, I'd get very suspicious right away. I'm not that rich, not handsome at all, and when not dressed, not someone you'd be particularly attracted to.

Growing up, I hung out with the girls. I got to know them, and about their lives, their likes, their dislikes, their pet peeves, and their passions. I also learned that many women who dressed extra sexy, did it because they liked to manipulate men into giving her what she wanted, while giving relatively little back.

I also learned that many women had to work very hard to look really good. As I learned to do my own make-up, hair management, and wardrobe, and weight control, I learned that some women binge-purge, throwing up after every meal, some use laxatives. Some suffered severe health problems as a result.

I also learned that some of the sexiest looking women had been sexually molested as children. In some cases, they were so young that they thought of it as a fun game until one day, the purpetrator wasn't there anymore and people who were trying to comfort her were telling her how horrible he was. What they didn't know was that, since to her it was fun, she assumed that she must be horrible too.

Worknig with femail addicts and alcoholics for 30 years has also given me insights into even more extraordinary elements of growing up female. And assisting in transformational programs where 30-40 men and women shared their complaints, fears, and failures (which lead to breakthroughs), I began to see that women who have been traumatized by others growing up is just as common as transgender men who have been traumatized growing up.

Once, someone suggested the notion of a "soul exchange". Essentially trading bodies with someone else. If I had thought it would be possible, I might have considered it, but not with her. She had so abused her body to maintain her figure that she was suffering from rotting teeth (from throwing up), yeast infections (laxatives while taking antibiotics), and more serious problems due to poor diet, constant exposuer to cleaning solutions, and other serious problems.

Sure, if I could reverse all that damage in a few months, or even a few years, I'd seriously consider it, but spending a lifetime suffering from seemingly incurable conditions that would last for 40-70 years. I don't think I'd want to be her.

[susmitha]

I imagine myself in that outfit. I imagine how I look if I wear it. Whether I look beautiful, whether my curves will be good etc.

[Stockingstopgirl]

Strangley enough I had a similar thought last night. A group of mixed age woman were out for a drink last night. 1 was about 6ft tall with 5 inch heels and an Amy whinehouse be hive (thought looked more of a man than I do ). 2 a group of older women growing old trying to be classy and nearly succeding. 3 two young woman had legs that went up for miles and I thought if I had had the guts to CD in my early 20's I would have loved to dress like them.

[Tina B.]

Being a man, I start looking from the top down, first reaction, is usually "I wonder how that hair do, would look on me?", Then, nice make up, then cute outfit, oh adorable shoes, oh, yeah, she's hot.
Tina B.

[Jolene]

Usually the first thing I think is "god I love that purse!!".

I agree Karren. It is so much fun to notice a pretty women but now we can appreciate her pretty clothes too. :)

[linda allen]

I used to do that "Would I want to be her?" thing when I was driving and looking at women walking or driving. I haven't done it much lately. I don't know why.

[kendra_gurl]

For many years when I was first married and before comming out to my wife she was always getting mad at me for looking at other women. Naturally she assumed I was looking at them with a lustful eye wishing I was with them instead of her. Now after years of dressing and transforming myself plus helping her to keep her clothing anf makeup more fashionable she belives me when I told her back then I was only admiring how well those other girls/women looked.

Like DebbieL posted, Now it's the wife who will point out a very well dressed attractive female she thinks I may appreciate. The wife now not only understands why I'm looking but also enjoys looking with me and talking about it.

[pinto]

This is what i am always thinking. Sometimes it's really funny women assuming i am desiring their body - hehe, yes i am desiring to have their body but in a quite different way. Imagine two guys watching at a bombshell and both telling "wow!" but thinking something completely different.

[KristyPa]

Oh yes, I do it all the time.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenn, I usually try to figure what size bra she is wearing and how to fix a wig like her hair.
I wonder where she got the shoes and if they come in my size.

Orchid

[sweetjan]

My wife supports my crossdressing!:cheer: When we are together and we see a nice dressed woman we comment on her
clothes, shoes ect. Even when I an away from my wife I think wow what a nice dress, shoes ect.

[donnalee]

Let's put it this way - a beautiful woman brings joy to my heart, as anything beautiful will; sometimes it takes your breath away. At the same time, I am analyzing what she's wearing, whether or not it might work for me in some way, her hair, her gestures and knowing at the same time I'm not passable or anything close to it, nor will be in the future.

[Frédérique]

Recently I have come to actually notice something. When I am standing around male friends and co-workers they almost always all see a girl and say the normal guy stuff like oh man she's so hot or oh man I wanna do her, the usual blah blah. Well when I look at the girl with them I have a very very hard time distinguishing weather or not I want to "do" them or "be" them. Has anyone ever gone trough anything like this?

I haven’t gone through it, because I neatly avoid the problem by having NO male friends. I’ve been thoroughly disgusted by male group behavior on many different occasions, so I prefer to retreat from the usual horseplay and seek a sunlit clearing where I can THINK, breathe, and become substantially less male. By myself, I can say I never see a female and fancy “doing” her, but I do take note of her visual presentation - if she HAS one, I mean. My crossdressing is an expression of being different from “normal” males and masculinity, so I dress and act accordingly. In essence, I DO myself…
:straightface:

[Loni]

when i see a girl, woman, lady walk by. i look at her shoes, clothing and face first. and long to able to look more like her than...just wanting to do her.

[Marie-Elise]

I think I am probably in the minority here but I do want to "do her". But I am very interested in the way I would have to maneuver the clothing off her. Things like running my hands over her hips as I raise her skirt...you get the picture. I always imagine what lingerie they might be wearing and admire the shape of the calves and the curve of the feet in the heels. OK...I need some alone time now.

[DeniseNJ]

Yep I totally want to be her or one of her close girlfriends that she likes in a lesbian way!!!:D

[NV Susan]

I would want to "be" her.....then decide if I would let them "do" me!!! :devil:

[Kristy_K]

First I check out there outfits. Then I watch how they move, walk and handle themselves.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I too check out her mannerisms, then the walk or stand, then the clothes, then the make-up and think, wow should I ask her where she got that nice top?

[smokin brit]

Lol, I first realized that a few weeks ago. I was sitting at the bar and the bar tender was this incredibly beautiful girl wearing a pair of booty shorts so short you could see the bottom of her butt cheeks. She bends over right in front of me to get something and my first thought was "I wish I could fit in those shorts." every one there most have thought I was crazy cause I immediatly started laughing histericly when I relized it.

[AmandaM]

Normally it goes like this,
Wow, a hot girl!,
Man, she is smokin',
I wish she was my girl,
Wow, look at how she walks,
Wow, look at those clothes,
I wish I could look like that.

[josee]

The first thing I usually notice is her legs if she's in a dress. I wonder why she isn't wearing hoseiry.

Then I wonder how her dress would look on me.

[pinto]

Usually i get a little depressed thinking that i never will look half as good as she does. Yes it makes me sad and shows me that i may look quite as a man but looking as a woman is almost impossible for a guy like me.

[Marie-Elise]

I was thinking about this thread some more and something that occurred to me is that, when watching (ahem) sexy movies, I almost always watch lesbian content. Even in that, I really am interested in the ones where the women are fully dressed and engage in some kind of dialogue first. And then, I love when they undress.

The relevance to this thread is that I find that what a woman is wearing will probably dictate whether I want to do her or not. I have known women who some days I would definitely have sex with and other days wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. It's almost always because of what they are wearing. A dressed woman is more of a turn on than a naked one to me.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Happily married but oh how I love to fantasize about the clothes and especially the shoes.

[Eryn]

Recently I have come to actually notice something. When I am standing around male friends and co-workers they almost always all see a girl and say the normal guy stuff like oh man she's so hot or oh man I wanna do her, the usual blah blah.

Even before I was aware of what it was to be a CDer I tended not to associate with men who were that crass. If nothing else, my father did raise a gentleman (which isn't far from a lady).

[Ressie]

Depends on the woman, but mostly I think I'd like to be with them. I can become mesmerized by women that have really nice clothing, nails, make up etc. and part of that is thinking I'd like to be gussied up like that.

[Tammy2010]

lol oh yeah I do, I always look at a hot girl and think "dang i wish i could be that", the first thing i look at however are the shoes, I was in class today, sitting next to me are an amazing pair of heels, she caught me staring at them but didnt say anything.

[Miss Maxine]

I usually want to be them and to have both men and women think and say such things about me. Sex appeal is very empowering. That's why I have the largest breast forms I could find. I get to physically become the object of my desire and experience the thrill of being desired by others who find such features attractive. (Believe it or not; there's more of them than you'd think) ^_~

[Cindy.]

My thoughts usually revolve around "my wife would love/hate those shoes" or "I wish my hair looked that good."

[Wendae]

Yep I totally want to be her or one of her close girlfriends that she likes in a lesbian way!!!:D
As a cunnilinguist I agree. I also comment on those I feel look tacky.

[Wendae]

As a nubie I made an error. I wanted to comment on DeniseNJ's post and to say I love to comment on the ones that are dressed tacky.

[Dami]

theres a quote I saw on this forum a while back that goes something like: "when I see a beautiful woman in a dress, I'm attracted to that woman. And I want that dress." MK

That is soooooooo true.

[Lexine]

This actually reminds me of a story I told my friend about a co-worker.

I've been looking for an awesome red top to wear for Gay Days at Anaheim. This is a day when a lot of the LGBT community go to Disneyland, identified with a red top, and have fun and interact with one another. For weeks I was trying to find how the color red could be palatable to my style and fashion.

One day, one of my co-workers comes in and talks to the guy in the cube infront of me. I looked up slightly to acknowledge her presence, then my eyes stayed on her for more than a moment... she's wearing an awesome red top! Not to mention that she's really hot and attractive. As she was leaving, she looked back towards my direction and caught me looking at her. Gulp!

Long story short, I asked her where she got the top after vaguely trying to cover up that I need the women's version of it, and didn't hear from her for a bit. Later in the day, I encountered her in the hallway and started staring at every single element of her top... not her face. I only caught this AFTER I got back to my desk but I'd obtained every single detail of the top... from the cute faux pockets on her chest, to the 3/4 sleeve that ran down her arm.

Oh crap. What should I do? She thinks I'm a perv now! So I IMed her and came out to her and she said she knew all along because one of my co-workers, who I DID come out to, accidentally showed her a picture of us at my birthday party. Problem solved! But yea, though she was attractive and super hot the first thing I thought of was, "That's a cute red shirt and I WANT IT!"