a new experience...

[SusanLCD]

At my age, I'm not your typical "nightlife" person, but, I had met with some other girls for dinner at a local restaurant and we decided to extend the evening by walking to a night club that is only a block away from the restaurant. The weather in Dallas has finally become tolerable and, in fact, the brief walk was a pleasant one.

In the club, we sat and talked and observed the other nightlife for a couple of hours. We listened to some of the music and explored the club's layout. Ultimately, I found it was time for me to call it a night (yes, I've become old) and I bid goodnight to the other girls.

I left the club and walked a short way to the parking lot where my car was parked. I considered whether this was safe, but, there were many active people around, the lighting was excellent, police were on each street corner, and I could see that there was little risk in walking alone to my car.

As I was walking across the parking area toward my car, I realized that one of the surrounding night clubs had an outside 2nd floor terrace that overlooked the parking lot. There were a group of people on that terrace and, apparently, a few of them had seen me walking toward my car. As I was walking, one of the observers whistled at me. No catcalls or anything derogatory. But, a definite whistle and, when I didn't react, another. Considering the locations of other people in the area, it had to have been me at whom he was whistling.

Make no mistake, I'm not "whistle material"; I call myself Grandma Susan with sincerity. But, the whistler couldn't get a good look at me (he was on the 2nd floor looking down at an angle), I was well dressed, I was carrying mysefl well and confidently, and he was probably more than a little inebriated. So, enough of the stars aligned that he felt like whistling at me and did.

I didn't acknowledge his whistle. In fact, this experience was so foreign to me that I didn't know what I should and shouldn't do. It had never occurred to me that one day someone might whistle at me. (Me? Are you kidding?) I continued walking to my car and, ultimately, got in it and left. But, I found it interesting that this is one of those occurences when a GG would know how to react, but, I didn't have the foggiest idea. If I acknowledged, would that encourage him and lead to problems? If I simply waved a "thank you" would he be offended? Was he actually ridiculing me rather than complimenting?

And, despite my awareness that he was probably so drunk that he would have whistled at a donkey, I'm still surprised and just a little flattered. It feels somewhat like being "ma'am-ed." It puts a spring in your step and a swish in your skirt. :battingeyelashes:

What would you have done?

[Kathy4ever]

I would of probable done the same thing. Most GG's ignore that type of behavior too. These men who do this type of behaavior are pigs. That is not away to treat woman. I guess it can be flattering but you know that they only have one thing on their feeble minds and that is get under your skirt or dress.

[Wendy_Marie]

I had someone whistle at me recently as I was exiting my car preparing to go inside a conveience store to use the ladies room and get something else to drink....it put me off my game because it caught me so off guard that I ended up doing the parking lot chicken dance and just jumped back in my car and drove down the road to another location.

I don't think that acknowledging this is the right step to take either...that is unless you are sure that the whistler is aware of exactly who he is whistling at...

I have a theory as to why males who might otherwise not care who we are and who is in all probability a nice enough guy 23 hrs a day 6-days a week will sometimes act out towards Trans people as they sometimes do....

They see someone who they view as female and as we all know...males think with the little brain that is kept behind the zipper downstairs. So especially when in groups....they tend to want to show off a little not just to the whistlee...but to their peers around them so in this case he whistled at you. Now if you had responded and he detected any hint that gave him the idea that he had just "Come On" to a Tranny...! His male ego and sexuality would have been bruised and he would have felt it necessary to then Act Out further in order to save face around his friends/peers within his group.

Now this guy who might otherwise be a normal well behaved male on any other day...may not be thinking clearly especially since you report his presence noted at a up stairs lounge, may also be under the influence of alcohol and or other mind and conscious altering substances and as such is "Judgement Impaired."

In my mind this sets the scenario for a confrontation with all the criteria in place that indicates it could very easily and very quickly escalate and get out of hand.
So you not responding left him with the impression that he had just come on to a woman...had been ignored but still...women ignore mens come on's everyday and it is probably better for his ego to go on thinking this.

[Cynthia Anne]

I don't think you could of done any better then what you did! And yes! It's like being mam-ed! It give's you a wonderful feeling! Hugs!

[SusanLCD]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. They help me consider the various aspects of it, especially while I'm sitting here in my chair at home, away from the immediacy of the situation.

It's also reassuring to know that you would have acted in the same way.

[Tina B.]

I guess with him on the second floor, I could have kept my composure, and made it to the car, without bolting in to a hard run, breaking off a heel and falling on my face, but I'm not sure, if I could have handled it as good as you did. My wife says just walk a little faster, but not so they would notice.
Tina B.

[Stephenie S]

It's hard to say what a GG would do as GGs are people too and as such have all different outlooks on being whistled at. In general it's a PIA to have others call attention to you in such an impolite manner. I would react depending on my mood. I might think, "Oh god, another a-hole with too much testosterone and alcohol in his system", or I might turn and wave if I were in a playful mood. A whistle is, after all, a compliment, albeit an extremely impolite one. I hope you remember this when you (in your guy persona) are tempted to call attention to a woman walking alone. Because this does not happen to an escorted woman, only a woman without a man gets whistled at.

S

[SusanLCD]

My wife says just walk a little faster, but not so they would notice.
Tina B.

Thank you, Tina. This is great feedback that I will definitely remember. As I noted, I've wondered how a GG would handle it and you've given me that right here.

[AllieSF]

In the situation that you described I probably would have glanced up and given them/him a brief wave acknowledging the compliment. I understand that a lot of people here truly believe that men think with their penises. I do not agree with that. Yes, we are known to have sometimes a stronger sexual drive and can be sexually vulgar at times. However, the majority of men are not the scumbag stereotypes that some here like to identify them as. I am a man, proud of it and do not match that negative description of them. In fact, I have met very few men/boys like that in my life. I have whistled at an attractive woman in my younger years. Not because I wanted to get into her pants, but to acknowledge her beauty and have some innocent fun, which many times women actually do enjoy. Maybe she would smile back and make my day.

Now, back to the original post. I think our responses should be geared to our confidence and sense of security at that moment. Since I am out a lot in San Francisco in good areas and so-so areas, walking back to my car at night alone happens frequently. I like to think that I am fairly street smart and always keep my eyes and ears on high alert at those times. Frequently, I have had the corner bum/druggie or alcoholic make a comment to me as I pass by. I normally always look them in the eye, say thank you if it was nice, tell them that what they said was not so nice, or just ignore them, depending on that moment's situation. Sometimes they immediately recognize that I am a guy in woman's clothing and sometimes not. Either way it is a matter of how you feel and how you act. In your situation Susan, take it as a compliment from the guys having innocent fun variety. You belong out there just as everyone else does. Enjoy it as you did.

[SusanLCD]

I might think, "Oh god, another a-hole with too much testosterone and alcohol in his system", or I might turn and wave if I were in a playful mood. ... Because this does not happen to an escorted woman, only a woman without a man gets whistled at.
S

I thought both of those things in rapid succession. My first thought was regarding testosterone and alcohol. Yet, I was having a wonderful night, my confidence was high, and I was flattered. I momentarily considered a slight wave and a wiggle of the hips as I continued walking toward my car and away from the terrace. In the final analysis, I did neither of those because I realized I could be biting off more than I could chew. Later, when I reviewed it in my mind, I asked myself "what was I thinking?"

Thank you, Stephenie, for your wise feedback.

[SusanLCD]

Thank you, Allie.

As I acknowledged to Stephanie, I was flattered. I'm doing some internal analysis about that, right now. Asking myself why I felt that way and learning from the feedback I've received from everyone. I agree that men aren't quite the unthinking beasts that are portrayed. (After all, I'm still one of them.) But, you've given me some good ideas with your description of how you've handled them.

I don't post often, but, this is further proof that this forum is invaluable. Having spent the majority of my life on one side of the gender line, I've got a lot to learn about the other side of it. It's fascinating, exciting, and, sometimes, frightening. And, the people who post here are a great source of knowledge and help in my journey.

Thank you.

[AllieSF]

Susan,

I think that your response was perfect for you. I have learned a lot since first venturing out and continue to learn. If one is in an area where they would feel safe as a male or with an SO, then I see no reason why that same location should not be safe when dressed as a woman. Yes, a woman does need to take extra precaution and I advise that too, but I think most areas are safer than many think. "Stuff" happens even in the safest places all the time. It is just that rare chance that we might be there at that unlucky moment.