easier to tell friends loved ones sexual preference or gender preference?

[cassandra54]

so i've hear about 5% of men crossdress. personally i think it could be more like 10-15%, but like others have said so many men hide it, sometimes for years. then surveys say about 2-3 % of men are gay and about 1.8% are bisexual. even though there are more of us who shall we say show a gender preference, i think it would be easier to tell a friend, family member, spouse, SO that you were gay or bisexual.

seems like society is more readily accepting of us being open about sexual preference as opposed to gender preference, which is amazing, because the number of men who dress or consider themselves tg a far greater than the number of gay or bi men.
what say you?

[JustWendy]

There are no easy conversations when it comes to these discussions, but I think that telling a spouse that you are gay or transsexual would be the hardest as these revelations are the ones most likely to end in a broken relationship.

[diannecourtney]

So right you are Wendy. When the ex found my goodies we had a marvelous nowhere discussion which ended with "where are you going with this" and I foolishly said 20 or 30 years ago I'd.........and she disappeared to the local attorney. But Dianne is totally satisfied with this as she can have her boobs 24 hrs/7 days a week boody shaper and all.

[juno]

In the current state of society, it is easier to come out as homosexual because most people understand it. Transgender awareness is still low, but getting better.

Also, I think that the concept of transgender bothers "straight" people because they have to confront the idea that gender issues are more of a continuum, and there is no clear boundary separating them from the gender-diverse people. I suspect that the same issues occur with mixed-race people, who are now becoming very popular in the modelling industry. You never know; some day in the future, TGs may actually be in demand by regular people.

[Stephenie S]

I wonder why you are discussing your sexual preference with ANY one else. That's one of those things that is just nobody's business at all unless you plan an intimate relationship with them. And if you get that close, the other person should have gathered what your sexual preference was already.

S

[cassandra54]

I wonder why you are discussing your sexual preference with ANY one else. That's one of those things that is just nobody's business at all unless you plan an intimate relationship with them. And if you get that close, the other person should have gathered what your sexual preference was already.

S
i am not talking about my situation in which everything is cool with my SO and i mean EVERYTHING, i just opened this up as a general discussion.

[cassandra54]

So right you are Wendy. When the ex found my goodies we had a marvelous nowhere discussion which ended with "where are you going with this" and I foolishly said 20 or 30 years ago I'd.........and she disappeared to the local attorney. But Dianne is totally satisfied with this as she can have her boobs 24 hrs/7 days a week boody shaper and all.

so do you think the result would be the same if you told her that you were gay or bisexual ( i am assuming that you're not) just for sake of argument. then, turn the tables, what would it be like if she told you that she thought she was a lesbian or bi?

[Wallaone]

So right you are Wendy. When the ex found my goodies we had a marvelous nowhere discussion which ended with "where are you going with this" and I foolishly said 20 or 30 years ago I'd.........and she disappeared to the local attorney. But Dianne is totally satisfied with this as she can have her boobs 24 hrs/7 days a week boody shaper and all.

Well said! My wife isnt comfortable with me getting too realistic when I dress up.

[Ashley911]

We aren't talked about enough for people to become "unafraid". It's not like there is anything wrong with a fetish.

[Rachel Mari]

When my wife and I were talking about this very issue, she said that it would have been easier for her to accept if I was gay.
I don't know if she meant it in it would be easier for her (and not feel bad) to leave me, or easier to understand and accept being gay rather than transgendered.

We're still married and no plans to divorce but we're not, as she would put it, a loving couple.

So... I guess it would have been easier to say I was gay.

[christina s]

I would say it's apples to oranges . I could never imagine coming out to my family to tell that i'm bi or that i crossdress but i think the lesser of two evils in their eyes would be telling them i'm bi .

[cassandra54]

I would say it's apples to oranges . I could never imagine coming out to my family to tell that i'm bi or that i crossdress but i think the lesser of two evils in their eyes would be telling them i'm bi .

my point exactly. so many misconceptions about crossdressers an tg's, but yet our numbers are far greater.

[LeaP]

People have a readily-prepared conceptual, scientific, and social framework into which to slot gay people and, somewhat less so, transsexuals. That comes from decades of activism. It doesn't exist for other transgender people. Try explaining the transgender spectrum to someone and the entire notion will be new to them. Still, I don't know that there would be any real difference, in terms of acceptance, for coming out as gay vs. transgendered. Were I to guess - and it is a guess - I suspect that people may be more *understanding* of coming out as gay, but would look at transgender expression like crossdressing as simply oddball or weird. Understanding, of course, is not acceptance. Weird certainly isn't.

Lea

[*Vanessa*]

neither, it is easier to tell the them you love them with conviction.

I agree with Christina in that it's better to kill a mouse with an elephant gun then to trap a butterfly.

That's may take on it anyway..