sandra-leigh
09-11-2011, 02:31 PM
I take the taxi a fair bit, and one of those things that I've Just Had To Get Used To is that the drivers call me "m'am" very rarely, but instead call me "sir" even when I am fully dressed, often even before I've spoken.
I was thus a bit amazed recently when I realized that one particular driver has called me "m'am" each time, even though I have only been in my regular (female but not blatantly so) clothes, even though I was not wearing a skirt or dress or makeup. The driver has heard me speak (I do not have a "femme voice"), and as I called for the taxi, the driver has probably seen my male name come up in their display of whom to pick up where. So, hey, at least one driver understands. :)
===
Yesterday... my wife and I went to an open-house of a fitness facility not far from where we live. I was wearing a satiny blouse with black marks on it, and I was wearing short red female shorts, and I was wearing (partly) open-toed yellow cloth shoes with a puff (half sphere of ruffled cloth) at the top of the toe.
An older female volunteer was giving us the tour. I did speak a bit, but didn't have much to say.
When it came time to show us the change rooms and sauna and steam room, the volunteer started leading us around a curve. A sign about "Women's" came in to view. The volunteer continued leading us on. Not having been there before, I kept following -- after all, the men's might have been further down the same hall.
My wife pointed out to the volunteer that she was leading us to the Women's side, and that I should wait outside. The volunteer looked over at me and asked "That's a guy??" And then apologized that her eyes weren't so good any more and that when she had seen my long hair (shoulder length), she assumed I was female.
Hey, that's the first time that I've ever known for sure that I "passed", rather than being recognized but tolerated :D And I wasn't even trying.
Sooo... I got redirected to the other side, to the men's side. Which was, yes, clean and bright and spacious and well constructed. It had some showers with curtains, and also a communal arc of shower heads with no demarcation between the positions. And yes, the steam room and sauna were directly off of that room, so unisex and not coed at all.
I glanced at the facilities, and I got depressed. :sad: I don't know if I can do that anymore. Drop by in a skirt or dress and walk in to the men's change room and change there?? It doesn't feel appropriate any more. Even if it is my every-day (not-so-stealth) clothes, I would at the very least be in panties. If I find myself feeling that I "should" stop at home first and change in to jeans or whatever to "hide" my femme side, I know already that it wouldn't take long to start resenting that, leading me to not go to the fitness facility.
My breast development is not currently enough that I worry about that... but they have been significantly larger in the past and should be getting bigger again as I am on HRT.
I am not saying that I feel that it would be appropriate for me to be showering or nude in the women's side, but somehow it feels like using those facilities on the men's side would be dragging me backwards. I don't identify as TS, but I leave myself open to the possibility that I might identify that way later in life. But I do identify as "not male". I can deal with "male" for the men's washroom, but I don't know that I can deal with it in the kinds of situations and volumes implied by the size of the change rooms in that facility.
I was thus a bit amazed recently when I realized that one particular driver has called me "m'am" each time, even though I have only been in my regular (female but not blatantly so) clothes, even though I was not wearing a skirt or dress or makeup. The driver has heard me speak (I do not have a "femme voice"), and as I called for the taxi, the driver has probably seen my male name come up in their display of whom to pick up where. So, hey, at least one driver understands. :)
===
Yesterday... my wife and I went to an open-house of a fitness facility not far from where we live. I was wearing a satiny blouse with black marks on it, and I was wearing short red female shorts, and I was wearing (partly) open-toed yellow cloth shoes with a puff (half sphere of ruffled cloth) at the top of the toe.
An older female volunteer was giving us the tour. I did speak a bit, but didn't have much to say.
When it came time to show us the change rooms and sauna and steam room, the volunteer started leading us around a curve. A sign about "Women's" came in to view. The volunteer continued leading us on. Not having been there before, I kept following -- after all, the men's might have been further down the same hall.
My wife pointed out to the volunteer that she was leading us to the Women's side, and that I should wait outside. The volunteer looked over at me and asked "That's a guy??" And then apologized that her eyes weren't so good any more and that when she had seen my long hair (shoulder length), she assumed I was female.
Hey, that's the first time that I've ever known for sure that I "passed", rather than being recognized but tolerated :D And I wasn't even trying.
Sooo... I got redirected to the other side, to the men's side. Which was, yes, clean and bright and spacious and well constructed. It had some showers with curtains, and also a communal arc of shower heads with no demarcation between the positions. And yes, the steam room and sauna were directly off of that room, so unisex and not coed at all.
I glanced at the facilities, and I got depressed. :sad: I don't know if I can do that anymore. Drop by in a skirt or dress and walk in to the men's change room and change there?? It doesn't feel appropriate any more. Even if it is my every-day (not-so-stealth) clothes, I would at the very least be in panties. If I find myself feeling that I "should" stop at home first and change in to jeans or whatever to "hide" my femme side, I know already that it wouldn't take long to start resenting that, leading me to not go to the fitness facility.
My breast development is not currently enough that I worry about that... but they have been significantly larger in the past and should be getting bigger again as I am on HRT.
I am not saying that I feel that it would be appropriate for me to be showering or nude in the women's side, but somehow it feels like using those facilities on the men's side would be dragging me backwards. I don't identify as TS, but I leave myself open to the possibility that I might identify that way later in life. But I do identify as "not male". I can deal with "male" for the men's washroom, but I don't know that I can deal with it in the kinds of situations and volumes implied by the size of the change rooms in that facility.