A few weeks ago.....

[Momarie]

I received a private message from a member "a very curious married cross dresser with a very supportive wife" whose words stopped me in my tracks because I really did believe they came from a good place with a kind heart.

So, I took a real long look at myself.
Doubt seemed to have been cast on my even being here.

It was not the kind of post to reply to without looking within.

I cautiously and carefully responded.

I'll be the first to admit, I am a hard nut to crack, I am defensive, very private and come across at times like a bitter bitch to those that don't know me or who dumb down what a woman really is.

But I am trying to loosen the reigns, it's true if you chain and lock up your heart you can protect yourself from pain but I realize you will also lose out on so much warmth and love.

So I shared not only the long term relationship that brought me here in the beginning and our struggles but a very painful traumatic experience in the last year as well.....

It's hard to condense your life in a few lines in a post but I really believed this person came with good intentions meaning me no harm, looking only for understanding with his wife in the way I express my views.

So I looked hard and found somethings I didn't like to see.

I bared my soul and hurt.....
and it meant nothing........absolutely nothing.

What I feel meant nothing, it was all about an agenda and transference of what was held against others now onto me.

Buddy, here is the thing, my only choice now is to turn it over.

You taught me nonetheless and I learned a lot about myself through this exchange.
Maybe not what you intended but I thank you all the same.

You can hide behind being "curious, wondering, wanting to educate yourself and my mis-understanding etc."

But I understand you.......and feel compassion.

There are so many sweet souls here and they teach me too.

[Madilyn A.]

I too, have found this site to be very helpful and informative in helping me to realize who I am and who I am not. The varied posts and many friendships I've made with perfect strangers who have become some of my best friends have indeed helped me be a better person.

[Kathi Lake]

Momarie, the fact that you actually looked deep inside yourself to reply to a stranger speaks volumes about you and who you are. Were you 'scammed' by this person? Perhaps. As you said though, it wasn't a total loss as maybe now some healing can come out of it. Sure, we can protect our hearts with barriers that are near impenetrable, but is that how we really want to live? I would rather hurt and feel - and possibly even break - than to wrap myself up in so many insulating layers that I never get to feel and experience.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, . . . thanks for replying. We need people like you here - sometimes for a reality check, if nothing else.

Kathi

[Megan72]

Marie;
All I can say is I am sorry that someone here treated you in that way, I dont know what was said, nor do I want to know but I am glad you were able to make lemonaid from the experiance. I am also very happy to hear that you are otherwise treated very well, thats the way it should be here. I always value the gg perspective as well as the cd one. And from what I have read you do notcome accross curt or crass at all. Take care and know we are mostly good hearted people just trying to find our way in the world.
Kelli

[donnalee]

Marie
A great number of the people posting on this forum are coming from a standpoint of painful lives and/or experiences. Mostly they seem to be trying to work out what's going on with them and why they behave as they do; some try to blame others, some rationalize their behavior, some do nothing but complain. When there are others in their lives who are affected, a whole other dimension comes to bear on their problems as they are trying to cope with the reaction of those who are most important to them. Trying to logically sort out what is such an emotional thing for most people is strenuous at best; sometimes it's close to impossible.
I don't think it's a good thing to reprimand people for emotional responses. I can't tell you how many times I've written a reply, edited it until it was dripping with vitriol and then did not post it as a realized it wouldn't help; I've also had people who would misquote or quote out of context what I wrote, and I've ceased to respond to the thread as it seemed hopeless to try to educate them.
"Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and irritates the pig." - Robert Heinlein
In sum, your responses do not offend me, as I have a pretty good idea where they're coming from, understand (I hope) why and still respect your opinion; all of us need a reality check from time to time.
Donna

[Presh GG]

Momarie,

Some people are just plain mean.
Some of them get all drunk and pick their ' victim " of the day.

I know I'm always thrilled to see your posts. I've learned alot from you, kindness and compasion being formost.

Thank you for being here
Presh GG

[docrobbysherry]

Your post proves once again for me, there is nothing like the female heart and mind! Confusing, captivating, confounding, enervating, elevating, educating. There is nothing like a female if you're a male!

Men get hurt the same as women, we often just don't show it easily. Sometimes we don't even know it until later! I know in time, you'll be just fine, Mo! Because u r a woman!

[suchacutie]

Momarie, thank you for this post. It is impossible to know the motivation of a stranger who remains anonymous, effectively, because words are always interpreted within the context of our own lives (how could it be otherwise?). The complexity is that our own contexts are not those of others, and the confusion and misinterpretation that can develop can be devastating. This is often how scams are effected. I'm so sorry that it seems you were drawn into one. That you used it to look inward and understand yourself better is to your great credit. That you thought to share all of this with the rest of us only highlights your compassion, openness, and humanity.

When I came here 6 years ago, Tina had been a concept between my wife and me for a little over 48 hours. Just as you commented that you learned a lot from this interaction, I have learned an immense amount here and much of it is because of the vast array of ideas presented every day. In all honesty, I have not agreed with you all the time, but I have always been enriched by your ideas. Glad you are here!

tina

[SabrinaDanielle]

It is hard enough coming to accept and love who I am and how to express it. I'd I couldn't come hereto read and learn from and just talk to sisters, everything would be so much harder.

[Badtranny]

Personally I don't have much respect for people who confront others via PM rather than on the public forum.