Losing the urge - hopefully not permanently

[VioletJourney]

I haven't dressed for about a month now - maybe even two. It's not that I haven't got the opportunity, I can dress pretty much whenever I want and my family doesn't care. But I end up just staring at all my pretty shoes and clothes trying to get in the mood, but there's absolutely no desire. Now I've got a bunch of body hair coming back and I'm not as motivated to get rid of it even though I find it disgusting. I really want to keep crossdressing, I loooved it so much, but I can't get in the mood :sad: Do you think it will come back? What can I do to get into it again? I spent so much time and money acquiring my wardrobe it would be a shame for it to just sit there unused.

[paulaloha]

Well as I have gone through the same situation before, I can say that it will much more than likely come back. This same thing has happened to me on several occasions and I always come back to the desire.

As so many people on this forum say, just be who you are, don't worry about it. If right now you don't want to dress, then don't do it, and when you want to start dressing again, do it then. This life is yours to live, so live it how you want to in the moment. Enjoy every stage of your life, no matter what it brings you. This just might be a fun break to get back to doing some guy things. So just enjoy the days that are given to you because we aren't guaranteed anything in this life.

The moral of my short story is, just have fun with life!

[Vickie_CDTV]

For a dresser it is normal for the desire to ebb and flow. For some period of time you may really want to dress, for some periods you may not have a desire to. It is not uncommon, and will probably return in time. If you don't feel like dressing, you certainly don't have to, just do what makes you happy.

[Sue101]

Yes it will come back, don't worry about it. Go off and find something else to interest you then after a while you will lose interest in that and will want to switch again. It is human nature to tire of things which we have obsessed over for too long. Recharge your batteries with other interests and let nature take its course.

[Samantha_Smile]

Yes it will come back, don't worry about it. Go off and find something else to interest you then after a while you will lose interest in that and will want to switch again. It is human nature to tire of things which we have obsessed over for too long. Recharge your batteries with other interests and let nature take its course.


Couldn't agree more. What's the point of escapism if you're not escaping from anything.
Could always use it as an excuse to buy a new dress to re-spark your urges? :p :D

[BillieLynne]

Go shopping! It always lifts my spirits.

Billie

[erickka]

Don't fret too much, we all seem to go through the cycles like this. Just be prepared, for when it begins to come back, it'll hit you like a ton of bricks!

[NatalieGirl]

Its the same with all of us. The desire to crossdress comes and goes.

Don't worry about it. Find something else to occupy your time. You'll be back.

[Kittyagain]

When you are young, libido drives a lot of the desire to dress. Libido, is slowed from things like demand on your time, stress and so forth. It is just normal. As everyone has posted, the desire will come back.

This is not a good time to clean out the closet. :)

Kitty

[boardpuppy]

Dressing ebbs and flows, it will return and I can attest to that fact.......makeup is back on the up swing right know and it is starting to get stronger every day.
Alice

[suzy1]

One reason why you might not have the desire to dress is something in your life that’s worrying you. Are you under some sort of pressure at the moment?
It could even be an indicator of depression.
If it is something like that then when your life is a bit better the dressing will take off again with a vengeance!


SUZY

And listen to the wise words of Kitty up there!

[kristinacd55]

Yes, it most definitely will comeback.....with a vengance! I've gone through periods just like your describing

[Megan70]

Like so many others mine is cyculer too. Mostly in mid summer and Holiday time in winter. I actually find it disgusting to even think of dressing like a woman. But like others say, its a passing mood that ALWAYS changes. DO NOT purge anything , you'll regret it and the money you spend. For me right now its that annual fall feelings coming back again since late spring and the urges are stronger than ever this time of year with the cool breezes going up your skirt and being able to wear gartered stockings and heels again outside. I do it every Friday going downtown dressed as an office girl and eating lunch in a corporate public cafeteria sitting amongst dozens of business girls . What a kick... I'm one of them and they haven't gotta a clue.
it'll come back honey , believe me.

Megan

[Karren H]

I've had mine subside many times. Once for almost a decade. Gradually. Didn't even realize it till they discovered a brain tumor. And after successful treatment it all came rushing back with a vengeance! Big time pink fog.

[DAVIDA]

I wouldn't worry to much, Violet.:hugs:
Someone mentioned depression. You can be in "funk" or have the blues at the moment. This to shall pass.:thumbsup:
I must be a little different from the majority here, I have never had a period that I didn't want to dress.
It has just always been.:D

[Cynthia Anne]

It will be back! THIS happen to me last week!:sad: But two hours later I came to my senses! Hugs!:heehee:

[Tina B.]

Yes it will come back, it always comes back, but when you ask, that's the rub, you never know.
I've gone months and never gave it a thought, I've also gone years, without it, and not miss it, but sooner or latter it will return, and when it does it shows up surrounded by a pink fog, the last time it happened to me, it was a few months off, then it hit, and the pink fog lasted a year and a half, that was a shopping spree.lol
Luckily it has lasted for the last three years none stop, after all I spent, I have to wear it a lot, to justify it all to the wife.
Tina B.

[CynthiaD]

It'll be back, and when it does, be prepared to get whammed by the pink fog.

[Joanna41]

I don't dress very often anyways but I do love to keep my nails trimmed and looking good. I still like to look through the cosmo magazine that comes in the mail. I still love to go shopping with my S/O too...while I still love all these things sometimes I just don't have the desire to dress. So if you don't don't worry...keep doing other things you like to do without the dressing...enjoy!

Joanna

[*Vanessa*]

Sure it will Violet - give it a little time.
I think we all phase in and out over time. It could be that 'Violet' is maturing in a different more subtle direction. I explored many year to blend modes so I could work and function on a day to day without all the make-up and dressing parts. In one of your quiet time explore your own feelings when you think of your prettiest cloths, what they represent to you and so on? Just my observations of my own life :)

[kimdl93]

just relax and let things happen. We all have experienced ebs and flows in the desire to dress. Don't worry about the hair or the wardrobe - just let it sit there awaiting the return of the mood. The worst thing yu can do is feel like its an obligation. Nothing takes the fun out of anything like making it a job!

[Kaz]

Hi Violet... yeah I am gonna agree with everyone... this isn't compulsory and it should be fun! But things happen in life and the urge goes... but I can assure you that it will come back and stronger than ever... so do not purge! I recently felt very little desire to dress, but ironically, I still felt the same... I have been dressing fo so long maybe, but I know how it feels and I can get into that brain space whenever I want. I just have to think about it... and the pictures help!

Just do what you gotta do and stick around on the forums, or just take a break. We'll still be here when you come back!

[suchacutie]

The problem with anything that we are doing regularly is that life gets in the way. Life is a complicated ebb and flow of issues. I find that when important pressures arise that I must attend to, Tina often must wait. I've also had the occasion that I knew Tina would be able to accomplish a detailed task better than my male mode, so I do admit she has come to the fore at those times. But, in general, life just happens and it can take away the time and inclination to do certain things.

If you really are transgendered, life will take another turn and you will find yourself looking in the mirror at the image of that lovely woman you can be!

tina

[VioletJourney]

One reason why you might not have the desire to dress is something in your life that’s worrying you. Are you under some sort of pressure at the moment?
It could even be an indicator of depression.
If it is something like that then when your life is a bit better the dressing will take off again with a vengeance!


SUZY
Actually it's quite the opposite, I'm the happiest I've ever been! Do you think maybe CDing was just a way for me to cope with depression?

[kimdl93]

Actually it's quite the opposite, I'm the happiest I've ever been! Do you think maybe CDing was just a way for me to cope with depression?

I doubt that it was "just" a way of coping, but in your case, it may have offered some momentary releif or distraction from depressive thoughts. In contrast, I went through a deep bought of depression after a divorce and my dressing stopped completely for several years. I didn't start again until I felt like my life was back in order.

[NicoleScott]

I think you enjoyed it so much in the past because you had a strong drive to do it in the past. Without the drive, you may think it is unlikely to be enjoyable. But the drive is certain to return.
Perhaps you could do this: if the drive isn't there, dress anyway, as you did when the drive was there. Maybe that will kick-start the drive again. Not sure, just an idea.

[Kittyagain]

If you have teenage children, it is common for intimate relations with the SO slow way down since the children are more mobile you might say. This same atmosphere can directly effect dressing as well.

As you age as well it can be very stressful as your life expectations become more real. All of this is very stressful putting a lot of extra curricular activities on hold.

Oddly enough the worst day and the best day of your child raising years is when your children leave home. :)

This may not apply at all but if it helps then great.

Kitty

[cassandra54]

i go through it sometimes. i get home from work and don't feel very energetic or i get wrapped up in things over the weekends. it seems sometimes i just seem to keep putting it off. sometimes i don't dress for a week or two, or just a couple of hours on the weekend. and yeah like you, i look at my clothes and just can't decide what to wear. i have to make an effort to get dressed, keep up with shaving, taking care of my feet, using something on my face, but you know something? when i've overcome it all, i feel much better. i begin to realize that the more i dress, the better i feel, even though i don't feel like doing it to begin with. if i had your face i would probably dress all the time.
just saying

[Savannah Daniels]

I've been through the same thing. Mercifully, it passes. Let's face it, Girls, to do what we do is a lot of work. The collecting of clothes, shoes, make-up, wigs, etc. Having the time and drive to prep and primp, not to mention the money. OMG! The thing is, it's different things to different people and the degree to which we pursue this.
I must admit, getting on the site has re-energized me!!!
Bottom line, when it becomes "work," step back for a while, enjoy it through others. See if it helps.

[Cari]

I have constant ebb and flow with my dressing desire and have come to accept it.
I cant say any one thing triggers it, often If I dress too much the desire will leave for awhile.
The desire has always comes back for me.

You got me thinking about another topic think Ill start a thread

[danielle.cd]

hey dont forget that even genetic women need a relax day now an then they dont alway look so hot an feminin. they like to be comfertable where tennisshoes and baggy pants an go braless and let there hair down and wear an oversized t shirt or sweats. heck men have pms too just not a need for the napkins and such , give it a week sometimes two i bet youl change your mind about all of it again especetialy when something you like that goes on sale in an ad and you just have to have it

[ReineD]

Actually it's quite the opposite, I'm the happiest I've ever been! Do you think maybe CDing was just a way for me to cope with depression?

I don't think anyone can answer this. No one can even say why some men CD while others don't. My SO went through a period of about a year when he just didn't feel like it either. He didn't stress about it. And during the normal course of a year, sometimes the desires to dress will be frequent, and other times they won't be so intense so he'll only dress a few times per month.

Just go with the flow, and don't question it too much! :)

[joanna4]

You're not alone Violet:)

[Marissa]

As others have said, both..there are many reasons and just enjoy life as it is :) been 6 months for me since any lipstick or hosiery has touched my body..at times I stare at it all and 'try' to feel it all..but no..its not there..for now.

Reasons? there are many, even I am going thru trying to point out the reason...can't really find one, except the reasons that I want to use to explain but they are not the real reasons..just excuses :)

Enjoy all that you desire..and maybe in time (as all will say), you will have that desire again..but you better hurry, halloween is coming up so that is the best excuse for wearing that cinderalla dress..

Take care,
Marissa

[Wendae]

I had this same problem off and on for 46 years. Some resulted in purging. These spells could last from a month to years but when it returned it was with a greater intensity and need to dress. Last year I finially got my wife to agree to letting me dress when ever I felt the need altho, the only way I could leave the house was to see my therapist. I was allowed to shop for clothes, hang my stuff in the closet, keep my cosmetics in the bathroom, wash my clothes and tend to my wigs. At last I just about had it all when this past June I completely lost the urge. It's all really frustrating.

[Sam-antha]

Like folk say, it comes and goes. Personnally I am wondering if the urgent urge is passing me by for ever. There is that age thing you understand. But then the weather has been lousy. For the present, I dress and get out sometimes, maybe once in two months. I just cannot be bothered just dressing indoors when I get the chance.
Meantime I live in hope, keep my body trim, look after my nails and etc. I also hope that when I need to dress that my outfits are not tooooo ancient in style.

~Samm

[Rachel Renee]

Totally normal. I can go a couple of months at a time without the urge to dress but then BAM, the pink fog pours in with the intensity of ten thousand suns. Just go with what you feel at the time and rest assured, it will be back.