closer to getting hormones... but scared

[Steph.TS]

My psychologist firmly believes I am a woman and she said she'd write the letter f she could but I asked in the TS support group and it has to be a MD that write the letter recommending I see Dr Warneke (gatekeeper for TS's in Alberta) so she's going to refer me to a psychiatrist. Here's my problem I'm not out to anyone yet, I'm pretty sure my family would reject me, and I'd need to find a new place to live, I have no idea how my worklife would be afterwards, and I'm afraid what consequences this might have regarding my faith (will I go to hell for transitioning like my mom thinks)

I need to find a way to know if I'm ready for this step I need to find an alternative housing arrangement, I have to figure out if I'll be accepted at work, and I need to sort out if my faith allows me to transition... I'm excited but so scared and full of questions...

[StaceyJane]

You don't have to have all of the answers on day one. Part of transitioning is finding your way.

[stacie]

No were in the bible does it say you will go to hell because you transition. Just remember Jesus died on the cross for all. Coming out to family and friends will be hard and I understand you being scared. I lost most of my friends and many of my family, and my marriage to transitioning, but I made new friends and some of my family came back around. Your fears are normal and part ofing transition. The best part about my tranisition is how happy I am now, Plus my body change to the point I model and look better then most genetic females and I love to throw it into the faces of those who turned against me and I see how they hate it because I didn't fail in my tranisition. Just keep working with your theripst and try to attend a support group were you can talk to people face to face becasue his will help you. Good luck:)

[Wendy_Marie]

My psychologist firmly believes I am a woman and she said she'd write the letter f she could but I asked in the TS support group and it has to be a MD that write the letter recommending I see Dr Warneke (gatekeeper for TS's in Alberta) so she's going to refer me to a psychiatrist. (Sounds like a step in the right direction)Here's my problem I'm not out to anyone yet, I'm pretty sure my family would reject me, (I had the very same fears and found more acceptance than I ever thought I would...Can't say it's all been easy nor does it continue to be any easier...but it is survivable if you are ready...?)and I'd need to find a new place to live, I have no idea how my worklife would be afterwards, and I'm afraid what consequences this might have regarding my faith (will I go to hell for transitioning like my mom thinks)Truth is that no one knows for sure...everyone interprets the bible and reliogion differently....I believe that at the core of all religions there is one common mindset...Go through your life being a good person and doing no harm to others....Extremeist notwithstanding...this is true if you are a Christian, a buddhist, Muslim etc....)

I need to find a way to know if I'm ready for this step(No one can answer this for you Hun...others can offer you advice and Opinions, but not even the Psychiatrist can give you this answer....If you are ready, you will know and then nothing will stand in your way.) I need to find an alternative housing arrangement, I have to figure out if I'll be accepted at work,(The only way to do this is to research it with your Human Resources Department..if you have one....Otherwise it's time to have a sit down with your manager/supervisor.) and I need to sort out if my faith allows me to transition... I'm excited but so scared and full of questions.(I would wager that every single person on this forum has at one time or the other in their lives had these very self same questions and doubts....Take a deep breath and remember...you are not on anyone elses schedule....take the time to get your head on straight so you can make thse decisions from a position of strength and confidence.
..

Good Luck, Best Wishes...Wendy

[sandra-leigh]

I've been on hormones for about 9 months; there hasn't been reason to tell my family or workplace.

I do not know how it works in Alberta, but here in Manitoba, one is not required to "go 24/7" or other RLE before being prescribed hormones.

Is there something in your living situation or your work situation where people will expect to see you topless? If so, then chances are over time you will have enough breast development for someone to notice. It will not happen immediately. No-one at my workplace has said anything to me (but they don't see me topless) even though I have made no effort at all to hide my development.

If you plan to transition or to get RLE that involves obvious female clothes at home or at work, then Yes, you will need to prepare for that.

[Melody Moore]

Steph,

just take a big deep breath and slow down a bit, because I think you are suddenly feeling
overwhelmed with many issues that you don't even have to deal with yet. BABY STEPS is
the key to negotiating all these hurdles. So keep going, but just take one step at a time hun.

Ok, I just did a little research and here are some links you should familiarise yourself with:

>>> Human Rights in the Workplace (http://www.albertahumanrights.ab.ca/employment.asp)
>>> Alberta Human Rights Act (http://www.qp.alberta.ca/574.cfm?page=A25P5.cfm&leg_type=Acts&isbncln=9780779744060)

After reading those links I think that the chances of discrimination occurring in the work place in
Alberta appears unlikely give the fact that laws do exist - but that is not to say it won't happen.

But I find it highly unlikely that anything will happen. I know several trans people that transitioned
on the job & one of those people is a motorcycle mechanic who custom builds Harley Davidson
motorcycles Her boss is a hard-arse biker & the biker community here in Cairns will defend her
if anyone puts crap on her. Fortunately the times are a changing, but how acceptable it is in
Alberta I cannot say - but it certainly looks to me like the law has made it be a lot more trans
friendly than you might believe.

You could ask your TS support group if there is anyone who can
assist you - maybe even advocating on your behalf with your employer.

Steph, the only way you will get through this is by saying 'f*ck it' to everyone else and when
you start living your life for yourself instead of everyone INCLUDING the church. Jesus never
wanted you to suffer and feel persecuted like this. Jesus reserved much of his criticism for the
religious people of his time. They were judgemental, unloving and legalistic. He came not to judge,
but to save the world. We should be the same. But he also pointed out that not one person is
good enough for heaven based on their own merit. So, let he who has no sin throw the first stone.

[Jorja]

Whoa! Slow down there girl. Remember the words you have read here a thousand times, baby steps. Don't let your mind overwhelm you. While all the things you mentioned are important and need to be figured out, the hormones don't do their work over night. You have time.

Everyone is so afraid of not being able to work just because they are in transition. Granted, not every place of employment is Trans friendly, yet. This does not mean you can't work and earn a living. You don't even have to come out at work until any changes become too hard to hide. It may require packing your bags and moving to a new location with folks who don't know you and starting your new life as Steph. It also may require waiting a little bit until the economy improves. It can and is being done daily by many of us here on this very fourm.

As for going to hell...... I just look at it like this, at least I will be in great company. See you there.

[sandra-leigh]

With regards to workplace issues: it cannot be denied that they can happen, even in Canada.

I know a gal here in Winnipeg who had the support of her boss and co-workers, but when she told the company officially that she planned to transition, the owner offered her a buy-out. I haven't been able to figure any reason why the owner thought that was a good idea... but it happened.

I have legal protection in my workplace, but if my employer were to offer me a reasonable buy-out, I do not know what I would do. With the financial challenges my workplace is going through, a reasonable buy-out taken sooner could end up being financially better than waiting for possible large-scale layoffs latter.

[Steph.TS]

Thank you everyone for your replies, My concerns comes from someone (either on here or in my support group) mentioning that it took 4 months and the breast growth was visible through clothes, and since this effect my appearance, and place in society, as well as emotions etc... once the hormones make visible impact, people will be asking questions, and that includes my friends, family, and workmates. so these issue will probably hit me all at once. I would love to do baby steps but how can I baby step into HRT?

I realize I need to be more independent, stand by myself more often but I also need to some one to stand with me in the dark times and right now I can't have that...

[Hope]

How do you baby step into HRT?

You are doing it.

If you think that you take the pills and sprout boobs, and "poof" grow a vagina overnight - you are sorely misinformed. HRT is... powerful, and amazing, and a whole host of other things. What HRT is not is an overnight magical feminisation routine. It takes MONTHS before you will start to notice physical changes, and months more before others will start to notice.

It sounds like you are getting all worked up and worried that you have to make final life-altering decisions all at once and you don't really know how to go about it.

Chill.

You don't have to make any of those decisions right away. Or ever if you don't want to. When the time is right you will know.

As for the going to hell thing:

(clears voice and assumes the position for pronouncing an apostolic blessing) As a called and ordained minister of the church of Christ, and by his authority I hereby declare to you that you will not go to hell.