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Pamela girl
08-31-2004, 10:52 AM
I have been a closet crossdresser for as long as I can remember. When I was a teen I had the perfect opportunity for crossdressing very often but never went out. While I did dress very often in private. Looking back I had many oppportunities I could have went out but was scared. I'm now 40 and wouldn't pass evin if people were nice but I would have passed nice when I was up till 23 or 23. So you young ones be carful and be smart and enjoy yourself. If you have older crossdressers around I bet they would help in anyway possible.

Girl.Faye
08-31-2004, 10:58 AM
Thanks for the support, but I don't see myself leaving the house in drag for another year or two. =/

Pamela girl
08-31-2004, 11:05 AM
The longer you wait the more nature takes over and you won't be as convincing. There are many who convince themselves they pass but the older you get the less able you will be able to pass.
One thing that is fun if you can do it is get dressed way before daylight then head for another town an hour or two away then as the sun comes up you are out and you don't have to think about it. Stop and fill the car with gas, pay at the pump lets you be out of the car doing something without having to interact with someone yet you are forced to be out until the transaction is complete. It is a rush, and you are able to somewhat hide between the car and the pump.

Val Tan
08-31-2004, 04:55 PM
Thanks for the support, but I don't see myself leaving the house in drag for another year or two. =/


i dont see myself leaving the house is drag for... EVER! :D

Madilyn
08-31-2004, 06:16 PM
Well I'm 43 and go out as often as I can! ;)

Don't let age stop you form doing what you really want to do!!!

I agree Erica, I'm 45 (there, I told those of you who have been wondering :) ) and it certainly isn't AGE that's stopping me from going out...

Do I look like I need to stay in? ;)

Kisses,

Maddy :cool:

p.s.

nicola_j
09-01-2004, 01:56 PM
Definitely NOT you look like you should be OUT NOW!!! ;)

Can I come with! :D

Can I come too? You look great.

xx

flicka
09-01-2004, 02:24 PM
Hi Madilyn .. you look great, but if you will pardon my suggestion, your short skirt would attract the attention of all ages, and sexes, then you would be more closely scrutinised and surely male attributes would be picked up. Knee length - or just below - and you would pass 100%.

joannablake
09-01-2004, 03:07 PM
Sounds like us young girls need to go have an outing LOL.

Love Always
Joanna

Amelie
09-01-2004, 03:21 PM
Maddy wants to attract attention from others, isn't that why we do it , for the glamour. Maddy I like your avitar, looks great. And also your picture is nice.

Love Amelie

joannablake
09-01-2004, 03:24 PM
Sure lets make one big ole outing LOL

Love Always
Joanna

kristi cd
09-01-2004, 03:55 PM
Thanks for the support, but I don't see myself leaving the house in drag for another year or two. =/

At least that long for me. :rolleyes:

windycissy
09-01-2004, 04:05 PM
Unless you're built like a prizefighter, linebacker, or NBA center, if you know how to put on makeup, your age should not be a deterrent. Flicka is right - a short skirt on an older woman looks, well, ridiculous. I know some of you think I am a frump, but I style myself after the smartly dressed women I see every day on the streets of Chicago. My age is one of my secrets, but I have found that as I get more knowledgable about clothes, makeup and hairstyles, it has gotten easier and easier for me to pass. I really work at keeping a girlish figure, and it would have been so much easier when I was a kid, but I never had the freedom to live out my fantasies back in the day. Sure I envy the younger of us who can look really hot, but even real women get older, you know, and I envy great looking sylish women even more. Go for it! Ask Windy (http://snurl.com/askwindy)

Madilyn
09-01-2004, 09:20 PM
Unless you're built like a prizefighter, linebacker, or NBA center, if you know how to put on makeup, your age should not be a deterrent. Flicka is right - a short skirt on an older woman looks, well, ridiculous. I know some of you think I am a frump, but I style myself after the smartly dressed women I see every day on the streets of Chicago. My age is one of my secrets, but I have found that as I get more knowledgable about clothes, makeup and hairstyles, it has gotten easier and easier for me to pass. I really work at keeping a girlish figure, and it would have been so much easier when I was a kid, but I never had the freedom to live out my fantasies back in the day. Sure I envy the younger of us who can look really hot, but even real women get older, you know, and I envy great looking sylish women even more. Go for it! Ask Windy (http://snurl.com/askwindy)

Hi Windy,

Thanks for, what would appear to be, an extremely one-dimensional viewpoint of how one who is progressing into an "older exterior" should dress. I certainly respect you for your opinions, advice, and how you choose to dress and live your life as a maturing CD, but it doesn't appear that you've read too deeply into any of my excruciatingly long dissertations about MY CD situation.

Please remember that none of us are you, and so our reasons (and motives)for dressing, being girly, being femme, going out, etc. can easily differ from yours. I am only able to go out once a year, so believe me, it's a long frickin' year of anticipation to say the least. I don't have your luxury of daily dressing, and if I did I'm sure my wardrobe would be more in keeping with the daily attire of todays woman.

If you look at my pics from MaddyFest 2003 last year I looked like a school marm or librarian with a long sleeved dress that fell below my knee at almost the calf. After that annual outing, I vowed that I would make some changes and go out this year and strut-it.


Flicka is right - a short skirt on an older woman looks, well, ridiculous. I know some of you think I am a frump, but I style myself after the smartly dressed women I see every day on the streets of Chicago. My age is one of my secrets, but I have found that as I get more knowledgable about clothes, makeup and hairstyles, it has gotten easier and easier for me to pass. Ask Windy (http://snurl.com/askwindy)

Windy, I'm curious what you guessed my age was before I revealed it in this thread? I was never told once that I look over 35 years old, so why in the hell would a person not spice it up a bit and wear a short skirt? I'm sorry Windy, but your "style" of dressing is incredibly boring to me given MY particular life circumstances. I was out to have fun this year and certainly feel that I accomplished that objective. Maybe I looked a little ****tier than I had actually envisioned orginally, but I certainly felt alive, free, sexy, and beautiful, so isn't that really what it's all about anyway? I dressed like a HO and had a great time, so sue me... ;)

Girl, there are so many colors of the rainbow in this forum alone that no one can truly classify or quantify how an "older woman" should or shouldn't look. Any woman, no matter what age she is, will look different depending on that individuals personal style, personality, culture, age, upbringing, career, demographic, etc...

I guarantee a 45 year old biker CD is going to look a hell of a lot different than a 45 year old golf playing CD or polo playing CD...or a Goth-inspired CD...it's what makes the world go round...

Windy, the bottom line here is that I thought it was bad form on your part to insinuate that I (and others who lean my direction) look "ridiculous" when that shoe can so quickly be put on the other foot.

Thank you for expressing your opinion and allowing me to openly and freely express mine back in this beautiful forum for discussion... You've got to love it that we all have strong opinions and are not afraid to voice them. This is a true democracy in here and certainly a defender of the 1st Amendment (which I know doesn't apply to you, but it does me, ;) ). I think you are great and an incredible asset to this community. I look forward to getting to know you better through your sharing of your daily experiences.

Peace and kisses,

Madilyn

Glenda
09-01-2004, 09:57 PM
Sounds like we're acting like real women here. Reminds me of the time when mini skirts were just becoming the fashion in the late sixties, early seventies. My wife (at the time) and one of her co-workers were walking downtown at lunchtime. An older lady (35 or so?) stopped them and said, "Pardon me, but you're ass is showing." The co-worker said, "Well, why don't you kiss it then."

Almost anything is appropriate in certain circumstances. If I only went out once a year, I would definitely show a lot of leg.

AmberDay
09-01-2004, 10:52 PM
Well I am somewhat young (25) and yet I envy everyone else because they can go out dressed (most anyway). I dream about it all the time. I have no idea if I am passable, and a picture can't determine that. I know there are more than just looking the part. I have seen people that I thought for certain were male (short hair, broad shoulders, big hands), but upon closer inspection they stand like a woman, talk like a woman, and even act like a woman and thus was a woman. So there is a lot of learning to do. When dressed at home, I try to take smaller steps, walk straight, be more fluent in movements, but I still don't know it all. I do not want to offend anybody here so please do not take any offense because I mean none, but I fear I may become forty years old regretting not being able to go out dressed when I had the chance.


Maddy wants to attract attention from others, isn't that why we do it , for the glamour. Maddy I like your avitar, looks great. And also your picture is nice.

Love Amelie

I have to agree with Amelie somewhat. I believe there is a balancing act from not wanting to be noticed to being seen. I know if I ever went out in public, that I would want people to see me, but not everybody either. I heard CD's talk about what would be the best time to go out somewhere, i.e. the local mall. Would it be better to go when they first open so very few people are around? It would be easier to keep distance from people, yet a single person walking down the corridor would pay attention to the other single person walking there as well. Wouldn't it be easy during peak hours as well? With hundreds of people walking around, few would actually be 'looking' at other people. I don't know since I don't go out dressed :( but that is just observations from just going there in drab. So what is the best place to go out dressed? I don't know, lol. I'll tell you when I find out. :)

Amber

Dana
09-02-2004, 04:10 AM
Age is a matter of carrying! If you don't care! It don't matter! What's the difference anyway! I'm in male drab mode, all except for a 99 cent mood ring I bought at 7-11! Its fem, and I love typing on my puter with it! Doesn't matter what your age is. I've come to terms with the fact that I've got a femininie side, and its always been there and its always going to be there! I'm not apogizing for it anymore! I'm accepting it, and me for who and what I am! Seems to me, there is a couple of windows. That early in life, and later in life, men and women look alot more similar than they do in the middle of life! :D

Amelie
09-02-2004, 05:02 AM
I agree with Maddy, In the 1960's the people were saying do your own thing, now 40 years later, we forgot that saying. I think you should dress anyway you want no matter if you pass or not, in fact most here do not want to be women, they just want to wear the clothes of women, and they should be able to do dress without comment from society. Yes everyone has there opinion, but once you say what is wrong for others to do then you cross the line. I am a Punk-Goth, I have never told anyone here you must look like me to pass. I accept anything that someone chooses to do. I will not dress like Tootsie, but I will never tell anyone it is ridiculous, it might even hurt their feelings. If we can't accept each other as fellow CDs, then don't expect society to do either. There is no right or wrong, just different choices.
I useed to go to many different night clubs discos, goth, hip-hop, trendy, local bars, and drag bars. The clubs that were the most critical of how I dressed were the drag bars, they seemed to have the most rules, all the other places the people couldn't care less how I dressed.
I know some of you have opinions on how to dress, but they should be about how you dress not about how others should dress. I think it is these opinions that keep some in the closet. There should be less worrying on passing and more pleasure in dressing.


Love Amelie

He who follows the crowd, gets no further than the crowd-?

windycissy
09-02-2004, 08:52 AM
Windy, the bottom line here is that I thought it was bad form on your part to insinuate that I (and others who lean my direction) look "ridiculous" when that shoe can so quickly be put on the other foot.

Madilyn,

Forgive me for being so outspoken. Like you, I enjoy the diversity of opinion on this site, and it has really opened my eyes. For me, "passing" is the ultimate thrill, but I have learned that others don't give a damn as long as they are having fun. That is true liberation.

I'll admit that I have a hangup: when I go out as Windy, I want the world to see me as a woman. Being a practicing crossdresser for more years than I care to remember has given me a particular eye for what looks right on a woman, genuine or otherwise. When I see a woman who is dressed totally wrong for her age, weight, etc, it makes me want to scream, and that is magnified a hundredfold when "she" is really a guy.

Far better for me to offend on this little site than for a sister to have to endure the humiliation of being "read" in public. But if she really doesn't care, she should ignore me and do as she damn well pleases! Ask Windy (http://snurl.com/askwindy)

Jennifer_Ph
09-02-2004, 10:17 AM
I honestly didn't know they made long skirts... ;) I don't own any!

joannablake
09-02-2004, 10:32 AM
Well I kind of live by a saying I once found in a book written by Rudd, I call it reflections.


Reflections


When you get what you want in your strugle for self,
and the world makes you queen for a day,
just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
and see what that girl has to say.

For it isn't your spouse, your family, or friend,
whose judgement you must pass,
the girl whose verdict counts in the end,
is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people may think you a straight shooting chum,
and call you a person of class,
but the girl in the glass will call you a bum,
if you cant look her in the face.

She's the girl to please, never mind all the rest,
for she's with you clear to the end,
and you have pass your most difficult test,
if the girl in the gass calls you, "friend."

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
and get pats on the back as you pass,
but your final reward will be heartbreak and tears,
if you've cheated the girl in the glass.

If you are happy what you are wearing then it shouldnt bother anyone else. Now this is just my opionion.

Love Always
Joanna

Glenda
09-02-2004, 04:19 PM
is a great poem. I told the story about the mini skirt downtown (actually was in 1971) because it was a time of changing mores and values. My generation was mostly accepting change and people just a few years older were mostly resistant. The people of my parents generation were very resistant. The difference was striking. I don't mean to paint everyone with the same brush. There were some older than me that were embracing change as well, but the majority were probably not. Society had expectations of how you were supposed to act in your various stages of life. While it still does, today the expectations are a lot more varied. The population as a whole acts younger than they did in generations past.

Since then, it is not unusual to see women (or CD's) in mini skirts in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's or 60's. Even women in their 70's may wear short skirts when golfing, bowling, etc. Times and attitudes have changed. I prefer short skirts. Always have, probably always will.

As a side note, I was raised in the Texas Panhandle so my perception of how things were is probably a little different than how they really were. I always said that we were 20 years behind the rest of the country. It was so conservative, I couldn't tell if I'd been born in 1850 or 1950. Take anything I say with a grain of salt.

roberta1945
09-02-2004, 08:08 PM
I Too Envie The Young Crossdressers I Have Been A C/d For As Loing
As I Can Remember.from Age 12 To About 14 Was The Rememberable Of
My Life I Had The House To Myself Every School Day From 2:30 Untill
6:pm.i Would Take My Moms Jeans With Side Zip And Pink Top To Play
In And Ride Bikes.also When I Was Younger My Mom Dressed In Girls
Shorts & Tops And Sandles To Play House With The Little Girl Across The Street The Best Time Of My Life.now 50 Years Later And
Almost 300 Lbs. Heaver The Only Time I Go Out Dressed Is To Take
The Trash Out Andsit In My Back Yard At Night.so Young Crossdressers Enjoy Life To The Fullest As Long As Possable.
Hugs And Kisses Roberta1945

PaulaMea
09-03-2004, 09:01 AM
Great topic:
I was a skinny teen (up till about 25) with endogenous facial features. I had hair past my shoulders (as was the fashion) and when I dressed, I totally passed. My only problem was that I was completely closeted with the exception of a couple of girlfriends who knew and one who appreciated my hobby. At the time it was far more difficult for the world to accept a crossdresser / transvestite. This was pre-Boy George and David Bowie was freaking out a lot of people. When the New York Dolls appeared on the Glam Rock scene, I was tempted to step out. San Jose was a bit of a backwater town back then.

Basically, all dressed up with no where to go. Add a large dose of shame and, well, I purged and quit dressing for many years. Perhaps the best years for dressing and passing.

What I'm coming to is my humble words of wisdom to the younger girls out there; DRESS! enjoy your youthful looks and figure, have fun and connect with other like-minded people. My only regret is not taking advantage of dressing and passing in my teens and twenties. Not to mention the expense of purging and re-purchasing etc...
Peace & Grace,
Paula


I have been a closet crossdresser for as long as I can remember. When I was a teen I had the perfect opportunity for crossdressing very often but never went out. While I did dress very often in private. Looking back I had many oppportunities I could have went out but was scared. I'm now 40 and wouldn't pass evin if people were nice but I would have passed nice when I was up till 23 or 23. So you young ones be carful and be smart and enjoy yourself. If you have older crossdressers around I bet they would help in anyway possible.

Madilyn
09-03-2004, 08:22 PM
...I really appreciate it. :) I'm so proud of all of you for continuing to conduct yourselves in such a civil and ladylike manner, yet get your opinions voiced and heard. You are an incredible bunch of individuals and I grow to love you more and more each day.

It's so nice that we are all "adult enough" to agree, disagree, or agree-to-disagree and still be girlfriends. The last thing I wanted was an ugly catfight, but I also wasn't about to stand by and be blatantly criticized by one of our own without standing up for myself. There's enough repression in our community as it is.

Stay beautiful girls, dress anyway you want to, and think out of the box...

Kisses,

Maddy :cool:

p.s. Have an incredibly girlie Labor Day Weekend (if at all possible)

Girl.Faye
09-04-2004, 12:16 AM
Well just as much as you girl envy the younger cross dressers, I think we all envy you girls for being able to go out and be so confident in yourselves. Truly inspiring, to myself and probably many other girls who havn't ventured outside yet.

mchelle
09-04-2004, 08:11 AM
i envy any that can go out and pass.
my skirts tend to b short, not that i could actually go out and be seen in them.