Run it by wife, or just do it?

[prettytoes]

I need some help on this one. My wife found out about my dressing this past spring. She is pretty good about it, but she is still a bit uncomfortable. She washes all my clothes, she knows I wear panties 24/7 (I especially like satin and cute patterns and colors), she is ok with me sleeping in nighties, and she doesn't seem to mind that I paint my toenails. I do not wear skirts or dresses in front if her.

Now for my question: I would really like to shave my legs, now that it is getting cooler and I will not be wearing shorts. She is very concerned that someone else may find out about my dressing, and I can understand that. Do I just go ahead and shave, or should I run it by her first. This is not to ask permission, just to make sure it does not upset her. I love my wife very much, and I have a lot of respect for her, which is why I would hesitate to just do it. I have been shaving the tops of my legs, where they are covered most of the time. I also shave my armpits beginning in the Fall. I really appreciate all the advise you all have offered in the past. Thanks in advance for the help!

[sissystephanie]

If you do truly love her, then definitely ask her about the leg shaving first!! Since you will not be wearing shorts, nobody will see your legs anyway!! Unless you wear short skirts or dresses!! Remember, she married you as a man not as a lady!!

[Daphne]

I agree with sissystephanie. I'd run it by the wife first, just to be safe.

[Torrey]

Can't hurt to run it by her.

Hugs,
Torrey

[CO_Bobbie]

I ask my wife if she was okay with me shaving my chest, she agreed and I went ahead and shaved my legs t the same time... You describe your wife a supporting, I would definitely ask first, listen to her concerns.

[giuseppina]

I agree with the above posters. Ask first, and accept "no" for an answer.

[DonniDarkness]

Yes. Ask first.

She is your partner in crime. If you have reservations about her reactions then you have to ask. Otherwise you could be cheating yourself out of acceptance later down the road.

Honesty will go a long way. Communicate.

Best wishes,
-Donni-

[Aprilrain]

It's your body, are you going to be resentful if she expresses displeasure with you shaving your legs or if you feel that you do not have her permission to shave your legs?
Is she going to be resentful if you shave them?
Its always nice when couples can come to an accord about such things but sometimes that just doesn't happen. I don't think you should "suck it up" for the sake of the relationship if you don't want to and I don't think she should suffer through an intolerable situation if she doesn't want to.
what to do?

[Danni Renee]

Definetly ask the wife. She may say no at first but if she has been supportive up until now I do not think she will stop being supportive. However, doing it first and asking forgiveness later would be a good way to make her feel left out.'

Danni

[suchacutie]

This all comes back to the kind of relationship the two of you have. If your wife does not like surprises, it would seem a bit provocative to change something as "public" as shaving an area that could become public. Please understand that I see nothing at all wrong with shaving your legs, and there could be any number of reasons you might shave your legs, so explaining it away (if you feel you need to) is certainly possible. If you and your wife are not the kind of couple that shares constantly, then I'm not sure it makes a difference.

My only thought is that, in this case, it is again linked to your transgenderism, and that might be a festering point of "lack of communication". Eventually there will be that "straw that broke the camel's back", so I would broach the issue with her. It could be as easy as, "I was thinking of shaving my legs, but I wanted to get your thoughts about it". Of course, she might then ask you why, so be ready for any number of questions.

[Stephanie47]

If she is so accepting, then ask her! Maybe she'll give you some pointers and help. Maybe she'll give you a bikini wax. But, always do not tempt the goddesses.

[CarlaWestin]

Yeah, this is what I run into. I don't want to ask permission for any of my CD'ing but I want to respect my wife. So shave them, and your underarms, and everywhere else, and the cat. Here kitty kitty kitty!

[wadevikingfan]

if you want to shave your legs, then do it....shaving your legs is no big deal..a lot of men already do it...she probably won't even say anthing anyway...the lady that i have been seeing for 6 months has said nothing about my legs, and she has no idea about my cross dressing....

[Kathi Lake]

An answer and a question; Yes and Why?

Yes is your answer. You should most certainly run it by your wife. Chances are your wife is like mine - gingerly waiting for the next thing to change. The next body modification. The next thing to potentially drive a wedge between your relationship and your trust.

The why question is this; Why in the heck is she washing your things? Do you not know how to run the washer? I would be thinking, "Wow, he wants to be more feminine, and yet he still wants to be the 'man' in the relationship, leaving me with the washing." :)

That's my two cents, anyway. Don't spend it all in one place.

:)

Kathi

[marny]

shaving is not exclusive to CD. Since i started shaving my legs 7 years ago I started to notice how many men had shaved legs. If they're all CD, WOW! that would make us close to 40%. But you know that isn't right. Sorry , I digressed. Women have shaved for years and in our culture it is expected. curious. Your body. If you want to shave it. GO! ps think epilator

[Eryn]

My suggestion is to tell her why you want to shave your legs and then ask her if she would be bothered by it. While it is true that you don't have to ask permission, you should be sensitive to your wife's feelings. At the same time, since she is somewhat accepting she is likely sensitive to yours and will understand your desire.

[Chickhe]

No... because she might not know what she likes and you might be asking to shave while she hears I'm crossing over to the dark side... Just do it, but first ask her how she keeps from getting incrown hairs after shaving and how she keeps hers so smooth.

[Jaymee]

Prettytoes; as a new Fem who just told my wife about my sideline, I would say respect her wishes, maby with time all things will work out.

[Jamie001]

if you want to shave your legs, then do it....shaving your legs is no big deal..a lot of men already do it...she probably won't even say anthing anyway...the lady that i have been seeing for 6 months has said nothing about my legs, and she has no idea about my cross dressing....

They are your legs and there is no reason for you to ask permission to shave them. Did your wife ask your permission to shave her legs?

[Kittyagain]

. . .I love my wife very much, and I have a lot of respect for her, which is why I would hesitate to just do it.!

There you go, that makes you a great person. Always go slow with the changes. By all means ask. No matter how she answers, give her a big hug.

Kitty

[Ameli]

For sure you should ask her how she would feel about it before you just up and go for it. Think of it as a chance to open up a meaningful dialogue about both your needs and desires regarding crossdressing. She sounds very considerate and maybe this will help her comfort lever around the issue. Keep us posted on how it works out.

Ameli

[Roxann]

I find the trust your in your wife of you telling her everything is more then anything, by talking with her about thing she will be more at ease with your life style, my wife has become my best friend

good luck
Roxann

[Andrea's Lynne]

I think you should definitely talk about it with her .... out of simple courtesy. I hope she loves your shaved legs as much as my wife loves mine. I started shaving my legs 10 years ago (wife was OK with it then .... just OK, not overjoyed). And now she would be VERY disappointed if I stopped shaving them.

[Maria 60]

The first time i shaved my legs, i asked here what was the best way to do it, and then waited for her response. After 25yrs married just last week i shaved all my chest and she still hasn't said anything about it or even noticed,

[Aprilrain]

The why question is this; Why in the heck is she washing your things? Do you not know how to run the washer? I would be thinking, "Wow, he wants to be more feminine, and yet he still wants to be the 'man' in the relationship, leaving me with the washing."

When i still lived with my wife I was not allowed to do the laundry!

[Tina B.]

They say it's easier to ask forgiveness, rather than ask permission, but some times neither will be given. Rather than ask, sit down with her and talk about how much you want to, and ask what she would think about it. Then if she hates it, you can drop it, or keep talking, trying to make her understand just how important it is to you. Then decide for yourself where to do it any way, and deal with it, of forget it for a while, and try again latter, and with any luck you can avoid a fight, or dig in for the battle. But you will find very few women that love a surprise, if it doesn't come with a bow on it.
Tina B.

[Emme]

If you want shaved legs and axilla, shave! All the female talk shows are pushing male hair removal! praise them! When I first started shaving my legs, my wife objected to the stubble. Eplilate. wax, tweeze,what ever you can stand. No person has ever questioned my bare legs, chest and down there. Only coment I have ever got was from a nurse in ICU. She said I see you have a slight rash on your chest. I didn't offer an explanation. Breast form adhesive ...some time makes you red if the forms are worn for a long time.

The key to a happy wife and smooth legs is no stubble! My wife now gently touches my smooth legs and says she really likes it.

BTW, two tylenol or to Advil 45 minutes prior to epilating, really helps!

[Launa]

I say run it by her first. She might be ok with 80 or 90% of what you do but there might be 1 or 2 things that she does not like. Find out if there's something she doesn't like. For me I can almost do anything except when I go into full femme mode with the wig and all... This full femme mode is hard for her to see me this way. She also likes me to have hair, I would shave and wax all the time if I knew she felt better about it, so I don't.

[Sandra]

Don't just go ahead a do it, yes it is your body but by just doing it, it could affect her comfort level. Tell her that you would really like to shave your legs but you wanted to run it by her first.

[*Vanessa*]

I think you answered your own questions "Miss Pretty Toes" <love the name>

[Elle1946]

ASK! Just to make sure that it doesn't upset her. If she says no then wait a while then ask her again. Sometimes it takes a while for a wife to get comfortable with the different aspects of dressing, and they change their mind. I always ask mine before doing something different.

[Rianna Humble]

I have to disagree with all of those who have told you to behave selfishly by ignoring your wife. This is not a good way to build on her support.

If you trust your wife, then what have you got to lose by discussing your desire to shave your legs? This is not about having to ask permission to CD, it is about mutual respect in a married couple.

I'm fairly confident that your wife does talk to you about changes that she is considering making in her own presentation - she is not necessarily asking your permission, but trusts and respects you so she wants to share her thoughts before taking action.

The attitude "it is my body and I don't give a flying whatsit what my wife thinks" which many posters have urged upon you is a negative one that does nothing to increase mutual trust and respect.

[Alice B]

Your description of your wife is almost identical to mine. I would run it by her. I started shaving my legs about 3 years ago and she got used to it. Now I shave my entire body and again she has gotten used to it.

[NicoleScott]

This is not to ask permission, just to make sure it does not upset her.

You can SAY it's not asking permission, but it really is just that. If she objects, you won't do it. Permission asked and denied.
But I seem to be in the minority. I think you should shave your legs (emphasis on YOUR), but explain that you will not expose them in the interest of keeping your crossdressing private, if privacy is the real reason she would object to shaving.

Here's my story: I crossdressed for decades before I shaved, covering my leg hair with two pantyhose or thick tights. When I shaved, I just did it. My wife, who accepts and supports my crossdressing but doesn't want others to know, didn't notice my smooth legs. So I put a leg in her lap. She looked up at me and said "WHAT?". I had to take her hand and rub my leg before she noticed. No problem. I wear shorts in the summer and let my hair grow back. I shave in the winter, after shorts no longer will be worn. It doesn't take very long for the hair to grow out to the point that no one would notice that I ever shaved them.

Also, I know guys who simply have no leg hair. I've never heard a discouraging word about it from anyone.

I really love how the shaved legs feel.

[Kaitlyn26]

What you have here is a debate of fundamentals. How many GGs would ask their husbands about any decision to do with their bodys? I'm guessing not many. How many men need to ask about something like this? Probably many of them. Some might argue that shaving your legs is an unconventional change to your body, that requires discussion. Others might say that it's perfectly conventional and acceptable. Many GMs shave their bodies for a variety of reasons. Cyclists like to shave to avoid infections from the surrounding hair, when they get road rash. Body builders, or just guys that are in good shape do it to better show their muscle definition. The bottom line is, that if she rules your house, or may be sensitive, ask her. If you don't like her answer, and she continues to try to suppress your needs, divorce her. Yea, that's harsh, but no one is worth misery at the expense of your own happiness. If she can't handle these things (but is still a good person), you need to consider whether she needs time, or just can't handle it, ever. If she won't ever be able to handle it, make the choice. Her, or cross dressing.

[Leslie Langford]

Just a thought - does you wife ask your "permission" if she radically changes her hairstyle or hair color, or does she just go with whatever makes her feel good about herself? What's good for the goose is good for the gander...

Only you can decide what the fall-out will be in your marriage if you wish to assert yourself in a manner that your wife disagrees with. That said, remember that it is always easier to ask for forgiveness after the fact than permission beforehand if you suspect that the outcome might not be what you are looking for. ;) :heehee: :eek:

[Kittyagain]

For those of you who worry about getting older, shaved legs is one of the benefits. The hair on your legs get thin and light colored so it is very hard to see anyway.

Kitty

[Sherry Lynn]

I would say something like "I think I might shave my legs. What do you think?" This leaves you a little wiggle room. My opinion is she won't care, but will respect you for asking.

[jackie_p]

I think there is one point that has been missed. You said that your wife just found out about your dressing this
last spring. Like you, I was already married when I told my wife. While my wife is semi-accepting, she feels that
she has lost trust in me because of this large secret I kept from her for so many years. So when she asks, "Do
you want a sex change?" or "Are you gay?" there is always a level of distrust with my answers.

Perhaps you don't feel that you have lost any of her trust. If not, then telling her isn't a problem. If you have,
then not telling her only makes it worse. Tell her and give her every reason to trust you. Remember, it might be
"your body" but the marriage belongs to both of you!

[3bugs]

My husband prefers I speak to him before I make major changes to my presentation. So my vote would be at least mention it to her before you do it. Every marriage is different though, only you know how to best approach your wife.

[PretzelGirl]

When we do these things, we have to open up our view of what is happening. I agree, it is my body. But put yourself in your wife's shoes. She may be sitting there wondering what is next. If you discuss (not ask permission) things with her, then she knows that you are being considerate of her feelings and not just racing ahead without any consideration for her.

If she is uneasy, is it really a big deal if she needs time. I discussed every change with my wife and sometimes it wasn't an issue and sometimes she needed time. But never a lot and she always ended being okay with it.

[jennCD]

Shaving my legs was the one thing that got mine fuming at me,... so I'd ask first if I were you.

:)
jenn

[Joanne f]

A marriage is about sharing and by asking your wife's opinion on it first is not asking for permission but showing her that you will not do things behind her back without her knowing which is a very important step , your wife seems to be accepting with it so far so if you just went on and done it that would only make your wife think you may do other things without her knowing , you could always lighten the approach a bit by asking what she would think if you thinned the hair on your legs a bit to start with to see what you both thought of it .
Don`t go down the road of just doing things and waiting for your wife to find out as this is so easy to do once you feel like you have some sort of acceptance .

[jillleanne]

Definitely ask her, but do it in a question form that respects her opinion, as in, " honey, how would you feel if I were to shave my legs? I'd really like to try it. Would you mind if I tried it to see what it feels like? Would you be ok with it? By asking her opinion, you are including her in the decision making process and respecting her as your s/o.
I have been instructed to stay away from the washing machine also. It is sacred grounds I am to avoid at all costs.

[NatalieBliss]

What's more important shaved legs now or a wife who's support and comfort level is growing?

Communication is key. This forum has no shortage of posts about marriages ending because all or parts of crossdressing where hidden or boundaries secretly crossed. Yes they are "your legs" but you share your life with her. Crossdressing is part of your life and you made her a part of your life. So ask, and ask for permission. I like the idea of asking along the lines of "How would you feel if..." It opens up for more than just a yes or no. It invites her to put forth a thoughtful response and have a discussion.

[Presh GG]

talk to her, it's the right thing to do.

And to those of you who don't think she notices, you're kidding yourself.

Presh GG

[Deana ♥ Danni]

What's more important shaved legs now or a wife who's support and comfort level is growing?

Communication is key.

I couldn't have put it better myself! I feel open communication and RESPECT are what keeps a marriage/relationship alive and special :) Talk to her first.

Hugs,
Deana

[ReineD]

Do I just go ahead and shave, or should I run it by her first. This is not to ask permission, just to make sure it does not upset her. I love my wife very much, and I have a lot of respect for her, which is why I would hesitate to just do it. I have been shaving the tops of my legs, where they are covered most of the time. I also shave my armpits beginning in the Fall. I really appreciate all the advise you all have offered in the past. Thanks in advance for the help!

You should most definitely discuss it with her first. If you don't, she will wonder how important this is to you compared to her, how far it is going, and if this is the first step toward transition. (BTW, the first step in transitioning is the removal of body hair). Having your guy side be OK with the types of changes that most guys would steer clear of, hints at having a degree of gender dysphoria.

That said, it makes sense to shave if you dress to go out in public; you don't want to be taken as a guy wearing a dress. But if your motive is to feel better about yourself because you think male body hair is disgusting, then you need to be prepared to talk to your wife about deeper gender issues than just the CDing.

If you see yourself as a male who needs to feel feminine, and who can't feel feminine with all the body hair, then please do explain this to your wife. It might help her to understand that you do not see yourself as a woman (assuming you don't).

Good luck!

[sallyissuper]

I live in Florida and see men in shorts all the time. It is amazing if you look, how many men appear to have no hair on their legs. That doesn't make them crossdressers. I would however, ask her out of respect. You can tell her you can always grow it back.

[Ashliegh]

Just do it. It's only hair ... It grows back (unfortunatly). I shave mine and I'm open about it, even at work. I wear shorts with shaved legs and I work in the construction industry. No one really cares if you shave your legs. Do what feels right. And really, to be honest, once you've slept with your wife/gf with shaved legs (and body) you'll never go back! (And most likely neither will she!)

[prettytoes]

I am definately going to discuss it with her first...Thanks everyone for your input. I love and respect my wife very much, and I did tell her when she found out about my dressing that the hiding and lying were done with.
I do have a few reasons behind it besides becoming more feminine. I spend a lot of time outdoors in the winter and I have found that tights or pantyhose make a great base layer to wick moisture and help to keep warm. Until I joined this forum, I never realized that they fall down constantly because they are sliding down on the hair. I also wear Under Armor, but found that it is very itchy. My wife has been helping me to remove my back hair (I have always hated back hair!) for about a year now. I found out that I could actually wear an Under Armor shirt without itching. My legs still itch, but I have been hesitant mention the leg shaving. Now that she knows about my CDing it may be easier to bring it up. I am also getting a tattoo on my calf next month and will need to shave the area where it is going to be. I can also explain that just shaving a small patch would look odd, so I might as well shave the whole leg...and if I'm shaving one, I might as well shave them both.

These are all legitimate reasons, but if I were not a cross dresser, I would not even be considering it. So it does all come around full circle to the cross dressing. Maybe I should just tell her I think my mini skirt would look much better with freshly shaved legs and some new silky panty hose! Thanks again to all for the thoughtful suggestions! This is why I love this forum!

[ReineD]

These are all legitimate reasons, but if I were not a cross dresser, I would not even be considering it. So it does all come around full circle to the cross dressing. Maybe I should just tell her I think my mini skirt would look much better with freshly shaved legs and some new silky panty hose! Thanks again to all for the thoughtful suggestions! This is why I love this forum!

I agree. :) If these are your true reasons, telling your wife anything else will seem like a rationalization.

[Diane Smith]

Think about the outcomes:

If you "just do it," either:

a) She will accept and you will have shaved legs.
b) She will not accept, and you'll let the hair grow back, but your relationship will suffer a setback.

If you ask first, then:

c) She will approve and you will have shaved legs.
d) She will not accept, you will still have hairy legs, but no damage will be done.

Seems like the only possible bad outcome results from not telling her in advance -- unless this is so important to you that conditions (b) and (d) are unacceptable. In that case, do whatever you want, and be prepared to accept the consequences.

- Diane

[kimdl93]

You could certainly ask her - and I think if you run a poll here, you'll find that many of us have shaved our legs for years and nobody notices.

[Joanna41]

Completely agree with all here...if she is being tolerant of what you have done already she probably won't care but I'm sure she would appreciate you getting her opinion about it. Keep her included in everything...good luck!

Joanna

[Lexine]

I firmly believe that communication is key to any relationship, so asking her would not only be prudent, but respectful.

[Prettyinscarlet]

I have to disagree with all of those who have told you to behave selfishly by ignoring your wife. This is not a good way to build on her support.

If you trust your wife, then what have you got to lose by discussing your desire to shave your legs? This is not about having to ask permission to CD, it is about mutual respect in a married couple.

I'm fairly confident that your wife does talk to you about changes that she is considering making in her own presentation - she is not necessarily asking your permission, but trusts and respects you so she wants to share her thoughts before taking action.

The attitude "it is my body and I don't give a flying whatsit what my wife thinks" which many posters have urged upon you is a negative one that does nothing to increase mutual trust and respect.

I hope you dont mind me wading in on your post however I wholly agree with the above - as a GG who has recently found out bout my SO's CDing and decided that I actually enjoy this side of him and have had a couple of nice evenings with him 'en femme' In fact i encourage him more than he does !! I still cannot stress enough the importance of speaking to your wife about this first. If you already shave your armpits and upper leg chances are she will be fine about it however one of my biggest fears and hang ups about my SO's CDing' (and YES there stil many many hangups) is that I feel left out..

I think this can be true of wives and girlfriends of ALL men - woman are always guilty of dragging our SO's into everything WE like to do, Shopping, Gossiping, Clubs, Hobbies the list goes on. etc
men dont seem to be tuned this way and from my experiance are often happy to do thier own thing whether thats watching football or tinkering with the car or garden or thier own hobbies either alone or With the guys i.e Without the WIFE, and I think this 'MALE' (no Offence is intended here this is just my observation of the sexes) trait is the same regardless whether a man likes to CD or not.

I feel that sometimes the guys, CD'rs or not tend to think that thier wives and girlfriends dont notice little changes in them physically or emotionally... BELEIVE me we notice everything ESPECIALLY once something like CDing has been brought into the relationship.

My SO 'de-fuzzes' everywhere and I am fine with that but he still 'asked' me first before he shaved his legs and chest and I appreciate the fact then when he thinks of something relating to CD he also is still thinking of me, and my feelings.

Please NEVER underestimate the Power of communication in your relatioship especially once something like this has come into the arrangement.

it sounds as though your wife is pretty understanding don't let this be an excuse for her to take a step back. :)

Ill shush now

Scarlet xx

[BLUE ORCHID]

You've got a good thing going for yourself don't blow it now.

Orchid

[Being Paige]

I wanted to get my legs waxed and was wanting to tell my wife, I knewthat she would be totally against this as she is not very supportive, shw puts up with me! :(.
Any way, I do get other parts of my body waxed so I left a reminder note on the table wit the date of the appoinment, time and for waxing of legs with the cost. So she confronted my with her usual sarcastic self and knowing where this was heading I just told her that no it wasn't for me, all she had to say was that if it had been she would know for sure just what kind of a person I actually was!! WTF Like as if having hair less legs was going to change who I am!! I don't get it.

[DaphneATX]

yes for sure ask your wife, I ask my gf everytime I want to shave them.... and for the most part she agrees however last time it back fired, I really wanted to shave them super bad she said "its not a good idea because its still summer" i talked her into it still non the less and shaved them. The twist happens when a month later we goto a pool party at her sisters house and im not wanting to swim because my hair is not back and didnt want to embarrass myself it was a rather large fight out of it... so i suppose I will only shave during the winter

[maturegirlrobin]

This is a tough one to answer. In MY opinion it depends on the quality of the marriage discounting the crossdressing part of it. Do you have any feelers from the past about how she might feel about you shaving your legs ??? Are you open about OTHER things ? Do you think SHE would tell U if she was going to do something that U might not like ????? When I tell my wife of 34 years things about Robin that I want to do I don't ask her - I tell her - BUT in a nice feminine soft way. One other very important thing to consider is this - IF U don't make a BIG deal about it, she Probably won't either !

Good Luck - Hugggs, Robin

[Annajose]

Hi, I was going to epilate my legs when I read this post and decided that asking my wife would be the right thing to do. After all she has shown a lot of trust in me and love after she found out that I crossdress.
So i did ask and she asked me not to do it because she loves my hairy legs. So what to do?
What i will do is to leave them the way they are, my wife has been very flexible, understanding and loving with me doing a big effort to accept this up-to-recently hidden part of me. Keeping my legs hairy is not such a big sacrifice to make.
Of course if in the future she changes her mind I would be very glad.

[Makina]

prettytoes :

You describe a relationship based on mutual respect. She takes your needs in account, and you know her limits. If she says she doesn't want you to shave your legs, ask her why, but don't do it if she doesn't want. She was very supportive until that, and any "no" must be taken in account. She still accepts more than a lot of wives do.

You can tell her you don't want to be outed because of your legs, and you'll let your hair grow before you wear shorts. She has to know that you hesitate because you don't want to hurt her. Try to find a comfort zone for each other, you'll enjoy and she won't feel rejected.

Annajose :

Now she knows about your which to epilate your legs. But now you know she likes your hair, maybe you can ask her for more leg cuddling ;-)

[Allsteamedup]

As a GG can I give a mention to all those things that none of you have managed to consider?

Having an SO with shaved legs, particularly if he has thick, black hair, presents problems.
Firstly, doing a good job is difficult.

Secondly, the skin you expose has not been looked after like your GGs. It is super white/dry, flaking skin/wrinkled. It may feel nice to you but it looks awful. (I forgot to mention the veins, varicose, thread)

Unless you shave every day the regrowth is stubble and it HURTS! My SO put his thigh between mine and took off so much of my skin it took medical intervention to heal the wound!

Soft smooth skin on a male is female. Some of you have been honest enough to state this as your intention, to feel female. Your GG does not want to be in bed with a 'female'.

The true cost of shaving is the intimacy you share with your GG.
If you get a negative response when you make the request, this is what she is comsidering. You will look, you will feel different. No, that does not alter the person you are but it does alter the aesthetics.

Prettytoes, your assertion that tights fall down the hair on your legs is pathetic. Buy the right size, both length and width! Read the back of the packet!

By now you will have realised there are two different issues here.
You see smooth legs as further down your cd road. Well, so does your GG. Only she also sees you putting what you want before her appreciation of your levels of intimacy ie, your relationship. She is new to this so she tries to be helpful. She loses out. That causes resentment. These things never happened before the cding, she surmises.

Women change their appearances little but to follow fashion or generally not be stale, or inappropriate for their age. They would never do anything that would make them sexually unattractive to their mate. That covers the women-change-their -appearance-issue.

I do not shave my legs. I am blonde. My tights do not fall down. My friends who shave wish they did not have to. They do because they have dark hair, some very thick, on their legs. Most regard it as a chore.

For most women the removal of male hair is an emotional issue. The hair is gone every day, but you dress less than that. So I lose my man full-time so he can wear hose part time. Where is the payoff for me? He's happy, I've lost a percentage of my intimacy which means a lot to me and I get to go swimming by myself. There is also the female appreciation that once an area becomes hairless it won't be long before the rest will.

As Reine pointed out, if you don't like your hair full-time maybe you have other issues beyond cding.

[shoegazer]

Take it from me, as someone who shaved first without telling the wife.. tell her first. My wife is totally cool with it now, but it caused her to freak out at the time when I started shaving my legs and arms without telling her (despite that I had already been 'manscaping' my chest and other areas for years)

Its much better to be up front with her. If she says no then ask her why not and reason with her, or ask if you can try it once to see if it bothers her as much as she may think it will with the stipulation that you will not continue to do it if it bothers her too much. She is more likely to be accepting of the behavior if she understands why it is important to you and knows that you want to be respectful of her feelings

[Sarasometimes]

You know the answer. If you respect her wishes you must ask her. You would you want her to ask you before she stops shaving underarms/legs...? Right. You are so fortunate to have her accept what you just mentioned so don't ruin it!

[xd-tigger]

Definately talk to her about it, she has been very accepting, dont do something behind her back and make her feel like she's not in this with you. she is and you are one of the lucky ones.