gaining acceptance in the real world starts with us.

[cassandra54]

i've been on the site for about a month now and i've shared a lot of information and learned a lot of things about myself. in the the journey of self-fulfillment, self realization, being at one with yourself and all that good stuff, i think what i've learned puts the icing on the cake.

i guess you could say this is a milestone for me, since now my next step is to spend more time as cassandra and venture out into the world. not only is this fun, but i feel a calling to be out there so i can be see. maybe society will learn to accept us more.

acceptance is key, since there are so many of us, you would think it would be easy. acceptance starts with all of us, sometimes in small ways. i know it's hard for many of us to be out of the closet, and i guess i am one of the lucky ones.

maybe perhaps instead of just stating that you are a crossdresser we can start by talking about it. like "did you know J. Edgar Hoover was a crossdresser?" and go from there. Maybe tell friends or your SO that you want to try it, as opposed to saying you've been doing it all your life.

i've thought about contacting some media outlets to do stories about us, it might help. just look at how much acceptance the lgbt community has achieved.

these are just a few things i've been thinking about.

[Kittyagain]

Cassandra, I am with you on learning so much on this forum. I find it hard to control how much time I spend here.

I never have worried about acceptance. There are behaviors of some or even of those baggy pants boys that I cannot accept. I want put a standard on someone else that I myself cannot live up to one hundred percent. I am not perfect so I try to be tolerant of my short comings.

Kitty

[sissystephanie]

Cassandra, you are completely correct in saying that crossdressers need to be more open. I have been crossdressing for a little over 70 years, and have seen a lot of things change, but not the attitudes about crossdressing. The main reason for that, I believe, is crossdressers themselves. They think they are going to get called names, being made fun of, or whatever if they go out in public dressed enfemme!! The truth is that those CD's have not accepted the fact that they are CD's themselves!! I accepted that fact many years ago, and now I go out all the time dressed completely enfemme, but looking like the man that I am! My late wife always did my makeup and fixed my wig and since she is no longer available I just go without!! Been doing that for 6 years and have never had a negative comment made to me!! The plain truth is that people do not care what you are wearing as long as you are decently clothed! There are other CD's on this forum who go out dressed as I do, and I doubt that they get any negative comments either! I have had people ask me why I am wearing a skirt and my usual reply is that I dress to please myself, not other people!!

[Kate Simmons]

Self acceptance really is the key. If we do not accept ourselves, we cannot expect others to. This applies to anything else in this life as well.:)

[girlygirly]

The only mind I can truly change is my own. The changing of public opinion is a slow process, and has to come from everyone else changing their mind. What others choose to think is none of my business, even if it were possible to make them listen. I wouldn't want to force my beliefs on anyone, just like I don't want anyone to force their beliefs on me. I personally feel most comfortable as a male who generally blends in, while dressed head to toe in in ladies clothing. I'm fine with that. I wouldn't dress to make a statement which some might feel is overbearing and inappropriate, I only dress to feel happy and comfortable. I feel best when those around me are comfortable with what I'm wearing, and I push the envelope on a fairly regular basis without feeling any negative feelings directed at me.

[Kittyagain]

Self acceptance really is the key. If we do not accept ourselves, we cannot expect others to. This applies to anything else in this life as well.:)

Such a good reply offering no blame to others while offering a way improve ourselves.

Perfect Abigail.

Kitty

[cassandra54]

Such a good reply offering no blame to others while offering a way improve ourselves.

Perfect Abigail.

Kitty

such a great point. self-acceptance paves the way for others to accept. i find the more i truly, i mean TRULY accept myself, it's easier to go out in public and gain an even wider and stronger acceptance with my SO

[Shelly Preston]

Most media outlets are not looking for the nice story

Some will not even delay a story outing someone. It would have been nice if they had given them time to tell the family, even though waiting a day would have caused no loss in sales.

So be very careful with the media

[cassandra54]

Most media outlets are not looking for the nice story

Some will not even delay a story outing someone. It would have been nice if they had given them time to tell the family, even though waiting a day would have caused no loss in sales.

So be very careful with the media

cassandra has her own e-mail address, which is what i would use. i would communicate by email unless i was sure of this person's integrity.

[Kristy_K]

Self acceptance really is the key. If we do not accept ourselves, we cannot expect others to. This applies to anything else in this life as well.:)

I a very nice statement I would also agree with. It says everything. But accepting yourself for who you are is the hardest thing to do. Once you do accept yourself, you will be happier than ever before and the people around you will also be happier.

[NicoleScott]

Those (many) of you who think that those of us who keep our crossdressing private do so because we haven't yet accepted ourselves are, as we love to say here, painting with a broad brush. Many, many of us know and accept who we are, and for reasons known to us (which you could not possibly know) choose to keep our crossdressing private.
I like to read of others' experiences. Until it turns into "I did it, it worked for me, so you should too". A bunch of amateur psychologists who finally figured out what's best for themselves, now think it's best for everyone.
Yes, I read the disclaimers "I respect those who don't want to come out", but it's pretty much lip service. Encouraging someone you don't know to come out does not serve their best interest, just yours.
Same story - different angle. Last time it was "you don't come out because you fear". Now it's because you don't accept yourself. I wonder what's next.

[Duana]

Great thread and 100% accurate. I go out often and almost always straight places, lately. I'm completely open to discussing my crossdressing, and have discussed it with many straight people, women and men. I know I've shattered a few myths and educated many people. My experiences have been overwhelmingly positive and I really wish others would do the same.

But I understand and accept reality. For their own reasons, the majority of CDs will never do what I do. Fine. I will not lobby for them to do so. I'm ambivalent about it. But without the sheer numbers exposing the public to our TG world, with 75% of our "army" hiding in the closet, the public will continue to be shocked when they see us, they will continue to believe things which are not true, they will continue to think we're "weird."

Such is life. Like the serenity prayer says, I accept the things I cannot change and change the things I can.

[Gillian Gigs]

I agree that to gain acceptance in the real world, we have to start with us first. There are times when I read threads, I wonder if some narrow minded thinking slips in. By that I mean that someone thinks that you are only a "true" CD'er if you only go the whole nine yards in your dressing habits. We are not all the same, and if we can not be open and accepting of each other, then how would the world ever accept us? Don't wait for the news media to come on board with us and print tender caring stories that will bring a tear to someone's eye. The news media has spent years in the digging up dirt on people mode, and that is the way it is and I don't see it changing. I don't expect any favorable stories out of Holywood, or the news soon. Change starts at the grass roots, and that is us. Until the closet door is opened it will be a slow change. I will not condemn anyone for being in the closet, or staying in the situation that they are currently in. It is my job to love and accept you for who you are at this given time, once that is accomplished on all levels we will maybe able to move forward! It all starts with self acceptance first. I do believe what my signature says, it is not just there for some nice filler!