Oops, don't forget the details

[jenny_geek72]

I think subconsciously I am trying to get caught. I took the day off and had a Jenny day. A wonderful day of window shopping at Dress Barn, Khol's, ShopKo, Macy's and Famous Footware.

It is such a rush to go unnoticed. The only strange look I got was from a 4 year old girl when I was trying on shoes. Got a little scared because kids tend to say EXACTLY what is on their mind. I put on my shoes and headed in the other direction before her Mom approached.

Anyway . . . I went out of my way to ask for help when I could. All of the SA's were more than happy to help without question or hesitation. Overall a wonderful day but when I got home and started to put away my items, I ran into two issues . . .

Damn Clip-on earrings . . . they left a mark on one of my lobes. I left them on for too long and they didn't have very good padding so ended up digging in my lobe. The other left an indent that I ended up trying to message out with some ice and pressure. I was able to explain this one off since I was doing some yard work next to some thorny shurbs.

Phantom WIG hair floating around. My wig was a bit ratty so I bought a brush and combed out the tangles. In doing so, it left many pieces of wig hair floating around. My wife found part of the hair in the guest bathroom. She asked, "Who's hair is this? Did you have a woman over on your day off?" Luckily we just had a house party last week so I think she chalked it up as left over hair from guests.

I feel bad for the excuses since I know it is one lie after another but I am still struggling to tell my wife about my hobby. Days like this push me closer to telling her since I am so happy and relaxed when I go shopping as Jenny. Need to figure out how to explain this to her.

Sorry for rambling, just wanted to get that out.

[prettytoes]

I have been married for 27 years and my wife just found out this spring. I have been cd-ing ever since I can remember. We had a rough couple of weeks after she found my stash of clothing, but things are much better now. I only wish that I had gotten up the nerve to tell her long ago. She was more upset about all of the deciept than the dressing itself. I would highly advise you to tell her. I got my wife a copy of "My Husband Wears My Clothes", which we both read. It was a great book that really helped us both understand a little better. There are threads on this site that explain how to break it to her. SHE WILL FIND OUT...one way or the other. It would be far better for you to tell her, trust me on this. Be prepared for the usual questions...first will most likely be "are you gay?"
And there are a few benefits in telling her...no more hand washing panties (which I can wear 24/7 now), I get to have my toenails painted all the time, I can sleep in nighties, no more hiding and fear of getting caught, and I can lounge around the house in comfy yoga pants (she has asked to not see me in a skirt or dress for now)...among many others

[linda allen]

Those wigs can be a givaway. When I first got mine I didn't realize how much it would shed and had fake hair all over the house. I had to clean the house and then mess it up again so it didn't look like I had cleaned it.

I only get it out if my wife is out of town and I don't brush or comb it in the house, only in the shop which is a mess anyway.

Bra lines can still be a problem. It takes at least a couple hours for mine to go away.

[Chickhe]

Watch out for the 'he is having an afaire syndrome'. You need to introduce some party wigs in to your normal atmosphere. That way a few long blone hairs caught up in the vacuum brush won't generate undue alarm bells.

[Maria 60]

My daughter came home early last week and i took everything off so fast, when i went to ask her why she was home early, she asked me what was that mark on my forehead, i went to look and it was the wig elastic made a mark on my forehead. Lucky i usually wear a baseball cap backwards and told her it was the cap.

[Nesreen]

I'd rather confess my CDing habit than get accused for cheating!!

That was close Jenny, be careful next time!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenny, Even though my wife knows and don,t accept a don't ask/don't tell kind of thinggie
it's not a problem when she finds something.
I guess that I'm one of the lucky unlucky ones.

Orchid

[RenneB]

You are soo right about the details girl if you want to stay compartmentalized.

Some of us have to for sake of the SO launching the D word or the boss giving you the heave ho if caught. I've started to get better at the details as being home alone, I'm also the one that cleans the floors. Preparing for the day, I get in full makeup and fem/comfy clothes and make sure that all the stuff I use (q-tips, tissues, wig tape, etc.) ends up in a plastic bag for the trash can. When it's all over, I do a once over the bathroom floor and get all the lose blonde hairs up. I must say that some of the foundation can really stick to the sink so watch when you are washing your hands to avoid touching the basin. Also then I do the wash as wiping off the makeup in the shower leaves some maskara on the towel so off to the washer with a load.

Then you've got the girly antipersperant smell (use the same as the SO so she doesn't notice). Anyway, I clean the floor with a good dose of chlorine and run the fan for a while....

Then there are the deliveries. Since I'm home and no one else is, I get to the mail box first that's if the sender uses the post, watch out for the ones that use Fedx and those guys show up at all times of the day. Need to watch out for school vacations and days off for the biological replacements and the SO as ordering stuff needs to come to a hault or I have to work outside to great the letter carrier. Once the packages of girly things arrive, I quickly unwrap them and scurry them away to their cubbyhole. In fact that's how I found this site was googling how to hide the fem/comfy clothes. Storage bins, buy a bunch and use some for general storage and some for the comfy clothes.

Anyways the most expensive part of details has been the industrial size shredder that chews up all the postal boxes of shipping stuff. Without a trace is my objective, but every once in a while I do slip up.... That really gets my brain into overdrive to make up an excuse for something that you left behind and make it sound plausable...

I swear, I'm turning into an A-girl....

Renne.....

[kimdl93]

jenny, I don't know if you're subconsciously setting traps for yourself, but I know the desire to come out is more than subconscious. But if you're spending time out and about en femme, sooner than you think, your wife is going to either surprise you or find your things. Either way, that's not how you wanther to find out. I's most certainly time to start doing some research...start here with the "how to tell..." thread.

[Lorileah]

You should not use a brush on a wig it pulls the hair out and breaks it off. Use a wide tooth comb.

And tell your wife before you get into some real issues. Better to be proactive than searching the phone books for a a lawyer.

[Stephanie47]

Hey, I left a red bra in the bathroom once. My wife told me she tucked it away in the laundry closet. Another time she found my "breast enhancements" (AKA: white water balloons) in the kitchen sink. I forgot to pop them before she got home. Sooner of later you'll get self outed.

[linda allen]

Man to buddy in the locker room - "Hey Bubba, when did you start wearing a bra?"

Bubba - "The same time my wife found it in the glove compartment of my car." :heehee:

[sometimes_miss]

It would be far better for you to tell her, trust me on this.
This is definitely something that we have to take on a case to case basis. While for those for whom it works out well it seems like a good idea to apply to everyone, there are always others for whom it just spelled disaster. People seldom tell each other absolutely EVERYTHING about themselves; we tell each other what we feel is important. Many marriages have survived several decades, only to come apart at the seams because of one person feeling the need to unload a secret they've been holding back onto the responsibility of their mate. The 'confession' of a fact that had been there all along, but never revealed, may very well change the entire image they have of you, and demolish any love they felt, and then the marriage is over. Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. Unfortunately for us, crossdressing is usually one of those 'deal breakers' for a whole lot of women, whether they are married to us yet, or not. If it's something she simply cannot accept, no amount of other good things about us will be enough to overcome the fact that we crossdress.

[Cindy.]

I got into dressing after I got married. I have been honest with her. I have to believe that honesty helps. I'm still new to this but I'm not new to giving my wife headaches. I think you should consider honesty. If you're dancing with the devil on getting caught, save the deer in headlights look and sit her down. I have to think that the shock should be less than her walking in and seeing you dressed cooking lunch with kesha on the radio. I might have to get my wife that book also.

[cassandra54]

it's a tough call. i feel a lot of compassion for those of us who have to keep their other half hidden. i just wonder two things.
1. how do you keep this hidden and for so long? my SO is not always the most observant person, but she would notice these things. like if i were to go out and have an affair. i wonder about that too, how so many people can have affairs and they're partners are always unaware. i've always been honest with my SO. granted it was difficult at time, but i think worth it.
2. i understand everyone has their own level of tolerance about things. but really if your partner loves you for who you are and accepts you, what's the big deal? i know this is easier said than done. my SO disapproves of some things i do and voices her opinion on a regular basis, like my smoking and some financial habits. i know she is right and she cares for me.
i guess i don't understand why SO's don't accept. i really think telling them might be best, but then again you have lives with your SO comes down to whether or not what you have is more important even though she may not be in total acceptance of who you are. tough call at best.

[cdtraveler]

As a closeted married cder who's got a very organized spouse I can relate to these stories. Closest call for me was underdressing for work then when leaving havtng her decide to give me a more than usual hug and she came close to touching my bra strap. hide my fem items well but always wonder how she'd feel finding my stuff should I meet and sudden death and she comes accross them as she goes through my belongings. Makes me question if it's worth it sometimes then of course I know I'll always dress.

[Jenny Green]

Cassandra: How do I keep this hidden for 30 years and counting??? Keep *nothing* in the house. If it's in the house, it will be found, as too many of our forum members here understand too well.

[linda allen]

Cassandra: How do I keep this hidden for 30 years and counting??? Keep *nothing* in the house. If it's in the house, it will be found, as too many of our forum members here understand too well.

If not in the house, where?