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Anne2345
09-19-2011, 05:12 PM
Life can be difficult, confusing, and very much painful at times. Despair and depression can wreak emotional havoc, take an extreme physical toll, and leave a person vacuous, detached, and devoid of joy. Once darkness unequivocally takes root, it relentlessly seeks to further obscure and extinguish the safety, comfort, and warmth of the light through cold, ruthless precision and indifference. The encompassing gloom and melancholy that invariably follows is a cimmerian shade, whispering lies, deceptions, and falsehoods that run counter to and in opposition of the true beauty of life, and all that such beauty represents.

I have struggled much over the past couple of years against the forces of depression, and battled against the ever increasing darkness festering within my psyche and soul. It is a battle that I had been losing for some time, as more and more of myself fell victim to despair, and its insatiable, lurid, and pernicious appetite. I began to shut down and withdraw. I ceased caring about those things that previously held meaning to me. I became lost to myself, and those around me, including my lovely wife and beautiful daughter.

And it did not really matter.

Apathy, after all, may be quite the alluring enchantress and bedfellow. Although only but a fool’s gold illusion born out of deeply rooted desperation, apathy does allow for the dulling of emotions and the cessation of interest, resulting in an evanescent abatement of the pain. Yet apathy is an imperfect elixir. Its walls are fickle, false, and weak. In the end, apathy is unable to withstand the lurid onslaught of self-imposed loneliness, of feeling alone, of being alone, and of simply being.

As such, apathy is not the answer. It never is, despite the sweet taste of the nectar of its false promises and temporary mitigation of pain. Indeed, in truth, the sweet nectar of apathy is but merely a vile poison, and quite devious in its disguise and design. Apathy serves only to strip away the importance and beauty of all that is around and within us, leaving only but a barren, emotionless, and tragic existence behind.

Thankfully, I have no desire to continue down this bleak, self-defeating and deflating road any further. I have travelled down it for much too long as it is. I am tired, ragged, and exhausted, but I am now ready to turn back, reverse course, and re-enter the light. I greatly desire and need to frolic among the flowers and dance with the butterflies.

With regularly scheduled professional therapy sessions supplemented by surprisingly effective anti-depressants, I have spent much time over the past couple of months reevaluating my life, figuring things out, and simply getting to know myself better. I have learned much through the sessions I have had, and have much more to learn and consider. I have been brutally honest about everything, and have held nothing back. In particular, I have discussed my feelings surrounding the illnesses of my father and sister, family issues, work issues, and crossdressing/gender issues.

Although I still have far to go, I have come a long way as it is. Despite some potholes here and there on the new path I now travel, I am filled with hope, and am beginning to see and appreciate beauty again. I am reinventing myself based upon what I have learned, and the needs I have. My vision is far from perfect, but I believe I see more clearly now than perhaps I ever have. The depression is not easy to overcome, and I am far from over it, but the prospect of travelling down this road, potholes and all, fills me with tremendous anticipation, excitement, and motivation.

So does it really matter?

Yes. It does matter. It matters a great deal. It is everything, and everything is it. What we do, who we are, how we live our lives, and those we spend our lives with – it is all that we have, and it is precious, beautiful, irreplaceable, and to be treasured and valued above all else. Beauty is to be enjoyed, experienced, and sought. We can take much from life if we but allow ourselves the opportunity.

And in this, we all have an advantage over those who have not been blessed with our particular and exceptional gift – we are crossdressers! By and through this blessed gift, we are inherently beautiful and magical unto ourselves, if we but merely take the time to truly reflect upon it. It is this beauty and magic, the beauty and magic of Anne, that kept me company down the dark, morose, dreary road I travelled, persistently pleading with me to come back home to myself, and to proactively seek out and acknowledge the beauty of life again. I owe much to Anne for her love, kindness, and companionship, when I otherwise did not love or appreciate the remainder of myself or my circumstances. Of course, I am Anne and she is me. We are one and the same. In this, I would have it no other way. For the kindness, love, and companionship she has gifted me, however, Anne is being rewarded. Although this is a story for another time and another post, it is a story of evolution, progression, and acceptance of the previously unknown and unacknowledged within me. Some of you may even find it a bit surprising. I certainly know I have . . . .

So it does matter. More than I could ever have imagined. And that means everything to me!

I hope it matters to you, too . . . .



And to all of you that sent me PMs and well wishes - again, I really appreciate all of you! I apologize that I have not responded, but I shall . . . . :)

Kathi Lake
09-19-2011, 05:25 PM
Anne,

It is so, so good to see you not only back, but healthier and happier than you have been in awhile. Whatever you are doing, keep it up, girl!

Life, quite plainly, rocks! Our gift? It is a wonderful, incredible thing capable of bringing us to heights mere mortal males rarely get to go. Does that gift sometimes bring us sorrow? Yes. I choose to not dwell on those times, but instead to remember the good times. Call me Pollyanna, but that's just how oddly I'm wired.

Again, welcome back!

Kathi

kimdl93
09-19-2011, 05:27 PM
Anne, I've dealt with a very deep depression, thankfully a number of years ago. I experienced the same dark despair and at times detachment that left me feeling so incredibly alone. My path out of depression came with the help of a talented and compassionate psychologist who helped me learn rediscover the beauty of life and a basis for hope. Among other things she helped me begin to accept myself as a crossdresser. (I was so surprised that I could talk about it, at last, witouth shame and embarrassment.)

All these years later, I can attest to the fact that it can be overcome. And from the tone of your message, it seems you're on your way.

Amanda22
09-19-2011, 05:36 PM
Welcome back, Anne. Seeing a therapist last year was one of the best choices I've ever made. In a way, I started over, but the key is that I did it with full honor to my whole self. Since then, my life has blossomed. The same will happen for you.

Annaliese
09-19-2011, 05:47 PM
Thank you for this post, if it helps one you have done a lot.

Terri Andrews
09-19-2011, 06:02 PM
Thank You for sharing Your journey with us .

cdwithplay36b
09-19-2011, 06:10 PM
Beautifully expressed and beautifully written. Good luck to you.

Julie Denier
09-19-2011, 06:18 PM
Thanks for sharing, and love the new avatar ...

rachaelsloane
09-19-2011, 06:28 PM
Anne,
Apologizes are not needed as I (we) only wish the best for you and your family. Over the past few months, we have shared a lot and know that you are truly a friend that I for one will never forget.
Always,
Rachael

sissystephanie
09-19-2011, 06:30 PM
Anne, until you have lost that which is more dear to you than anything else you have no idea what apathy and depression can be. 6 years ago I lost my dear wife, whom I had known for over 60 years and had been married to for almost 50. She developed cancer and was gone in about 3 months!! You talk about apathy and depression.............I was ready to commit suicide, even though I do have 2 wonderful children!! A dear friend in Scotland talked me out of suicide, and I did decide that LIFE IS WORTH LIVING!!

You have been Blessed to discover how valuable life is, and I hope you have a happy and full one!!

Debglam
09-19-2011, 07:57 PM
I am SOOOO happy to see you back! Different circumstances (I will PM you girlfriend!) but I know exactly what you mean! And it is oh so hard in the face of depressing circumstances to remember that life is beautiful! It is a constant battle to not let the negatives infect you like a virus and bring you down! I find that what helps me is to remember how short this life is. It is too short not to see the joy in everyday things. We need to constantly strive to love ourselves, our family and our friends!

Debby

TGMarla
09-19-2011, 08:35 PM
Hi Anne! Good to see you again.

Like so many others, and so much like yourself, I have travelled those roads. I have been up and back on them, and travelled them to places I will never forget. One of those places is a chasm where the road ends. It is dark and misty, without warmth, where only a cold wind blows. I have looked over the edge, and felt it beckon to me. I saw no bottom there, no promise of any resolution to anything I was seeking. I have a memory of that place that keeps me from seeking it out anymore. The road there was fraught with potholes and crumbling asphault, poorly maintained pathways that are overgrown with thorny weeds.

In the end, I decided not to travel these roads anymore. It's bad for my tires, and it leads me nowhere. The only destination on these roads is that dark and cold chasm. I made a concious decision to never go there again. And this decision led me to more decisions, one of which was self-acceptance. Since that time, I have been a happier person, more at peace with myself. I invite you to roll on smoother and brighter roads as well. It's better here. Leave those dark places behind you. There is no future there.

And your new avatar rocks, sister!

Anne2345
09-20-2011, 03:11 PM
I appreciate all of your kind words, and it is good to be back. Although I do think I am going to take my participation here nice and slow for a while, sit back more and relax, and just enjoy the moments and the fantastic company the forum offers. At least until I get my focus and inspiration back, that is. Then all bets are off, and I will return to writing and submitting unnecessarily and excrutiatingly long posts. :)

Kathi Lake
09-20-2011, 11:36 PM
and I will return to writing and submitting unnecessarily and excrutiatingly long posts.Promise?

:)

Kathi

SweetIonis
09-21-2011, 04:16 AM
By and through this blessed gift, we are inherently beautiful and magical unto ourselves, if we but merely take the time to truly reflect upon it.

This is sentiment is something that I can relate to. Actually about a year ago I came to the realization that the feelings I have regarding my gender and sexuality were something that were part of my life, they were not going to go away, and that I should accept that. I thought at that time that actually I keep engaging in such activity because deep down inside I really enjoy it. Therefore I should be happy to have something that gives me pleasure and that I should not regard such a thing as something that is ugly, but rather something that is beautiful. Since then I have been able to be at peace with myself over it. And the far out thing is that I have discovered that examining it closely and not hiding from it gives a satisfaction to that part of me that likes to examine things and learn things. So long story short, we should accept what we have and regard it as something beautiful. At least those things which do not involve vindictiveness and malice towards others.

Frédérique
09-21-2011, 06:25 AM
Although I do think I am going to take my participation here nice and slow for a while, sit back more and relax, and just enjoy the moments and the fantastic company the forum offers. At least until I get my focus and inspiration back, that is. Then all bets are off, and I will return to writing and submitting unnecessarily and excrutiatingly long posts.

Welcome back, Anne, but please leave the unnecessary, excruciatingly long posts to me – I have a few “burners” available for such excessive discourse, all in good fun of course! Here’s an excellent topic for discussion – “Do you have the cojones, Monongahelas, manjigglies or Cracker Jacks to go out in the world dressed?” or how about “It takes a real MAN to be a woman!”(?) Of course, I’ll be in my closet, perfecting precious sissiness at all costs…

When you say “What does it matter*?” what are you referring to? Life? This site? The act of wearing clothing not meant to be worn by you, or me, or us? Getting out of bed in the morning? Getting back into bed at night? Thinking about things? Wondering why you’re doing something? Acting as if you’re wondering or thinking about something that isn’t worth wondering or thinking about? If life is what you make it, or make of it, then it follows that it DOES matter and it also doesn’t matter (in the great "scheme" of things), both at the same time – you’re responsible for making something matter, and you’re also responsible for questioning your own responsibility. If the answer is, ultimately, nothing really matters, then you are free to experiment with this opportunity of life and find out if you have something within to express. This MAY involve choosing which color panties to wear, so get ready for some really difficult choices…
:doh:

*Rest assured I read the OP, but I'm going off on a tangent (as usual)...

BLUE ORCHID
09-21-2011, 06:49 AM
Hi Anne, I too have traveled a few dark and twisted roads into despair then I came upon a fork in the road
it was then that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and it wasn't just a train coming the other way
it was truly a brighter day as in a new begining.
I can now enjoy my dual roll in life being all guy or all woman I'm in control now.

Orchid

PS> It's aways great reading the two wordsmiths Anne2345 and Frederique

Inna
09-21-2011, 07:26 AM
YEY! How else but to celebrate the instant of awakening! Happy birthday Anne :)

Sara Jessica
09-21-2011, 08:57 AM
I'm glad you're back Anne, I've missed both your excruciatingly long prose ;) along with the wonderment of discovery that you have shared with us. Please stick around, taking it at your own pace, and most importantly find that balance in your life that can enable you to stay happy. I can tell you from experience that it can happen.

Torrey
09-21-2011, 09:27 PM
Anne-

I am so happy to see you back & feeling better. I'm also glad you took the time to share with us. You are an intelligent, beautiful girl as well as an inspiration.

most importantly find that balance in your life that can enable you to stay happy.

Ah, such a simple and noble suggestion that we should all remember!

Hugs,
Torrey