what keeps you back?

[bridgetta]

for me.. I do not want to complicate the lives of everyone I know by coming out..
I have a fantasy to go out.. but my beard only stays hidden for an hour or so.. and I cant imagine being in public that way.

[Cynthia Anne]

I guess nothing really holds me back anymore, sense I learned to except myself for who I am! I go where I want, when I want! Hugs!

[Karren H]

You assume that I'm held back? My life has become a balancing act and for me its nice to realize that you can keep all the balls in the air and are happy where you are, doing what your doing. :)

[AndreaCD1963]

For me - it's an agreement with my S/O. When we got together, she didn't care what I did but her only rule was to not let her kids know. Not that they would have had a problem (a family friend is a "boy with boobs" according to her son who is 11). The issue for her was more around her ex who WOULD use my uniqueness against her regarding custody. He is a bit chauvinistic homophobic and controlling - so he would definitely try to use me against her if he knew. So we compromised - and Andrea is somewhat closet-bound much of the time.

All that said - I suspect her 17 yr old daughter suspects anyway. She has called me Andrea on more than one occasion. So maybe one day my dream to dress freely will become reality

[kimdl93]

I would concur with Karren - I'm not constrained and life is a balance. I dress nearly 24/7 at home, and in recent months have made regular forays out into the public. Otherwise, I prefer to maintain my male persona for the benefit of extended family and business associates.

[Staci G]

Keeps me back from what? Coming out to all i know?? hmmmm I wish I knew I have no idea. I guess it is fear of my family and old friends. Otherwise I would be crazy wide open.

[missmillie]

I too don't have any issues on being who I am. All the people I work with and work for know all about me it depends on the start of my day how I feel,I go to work Male sometimes, but more female. Either way I am still called Millie MorF, I do my job and do it well that is all any employer asks in this day.

[TGMarla]

I really don't want to be "that relative who crossdresses all the time", even if in reality, that's what I really am. So I keep it to myself. I don't want to be some kind of gender warrior, and I'm not a crusader for the rights of the transgendered. I do my best in my own small way to always put my best foot forward whenever these issues come up. But my family, while aware that I have crossdressed on occasion, does not know me as Marla, and I think I want to keep it that way.

As for going out, well, I do that on occasion, but not all that often. What holds me back on that is mostly time. I usually only crossdress for an hour or two at a time, which isn't really a lot of time to actually go out and do anything. But every now and again, I do venture out, and I enjoy myself when I do. But it's not an all the time thing.

[RADER]

My deal with my Wife is I do not embarrass her. I dress at home any time I want to, But with
a Mustache, Huge arms, Extra large frame, Lots of chest hair, I would never pass no matter what I do.
So I enjoy my closet, Made it bigger about 10 years ago by adding almost 1,200 sq ft to the place.
It was once you start, why not go for it. LOL
Rader

[VanessaJCD]

For me, I would prefer to stay in the closet and dress when I'm alone. I don't look at is as holding me back, but that I take care of business most days and on the days I can, it is a treat to myself. I would only go out dressed with other CD's at a safe place. No need for anyone else to know.

[Kittyagain]

Unwarranted fear I would say if I dug down to the absolute bottom of this question

Kitty

[MissMarcie]

What keeps me back?
Probably my own variation of the same story you've all heard a thousand times. Not feeling I'm passable in public, some shame, guilt, fear, etc. I'm working on it, but will I ever be completely comfortable dressed and accept my desires 100%? Honestly, probably not.

[sarah kay]

I agree with Rader, I am too hairy, and too large at 6'4" and 240 to ever pass out and about. My concern that keeps my in the closet is no so much guilt as it is a worry about being selfish. In that I mean is it fair for me to expect my wife to "accept" this part of me? To me it seems selfish to change the balance. Maybe some day I will get over that but at 64 there are not all that many days left. Sure would hate to screw up a 42 year marriage at this point, so I do what I can when I can and leave it at that. Underdressing for me works fine in that I can be discrete.

[sissystephanie]

What keeps me back from what?? I dress enfemme every day and I go out in public dressed enfemme! There is a difference in how I look, now that my wife has passed on! She always did my makeup and fixed my wig! Now I just go out as a man dressed enfemme!! Haven't had any problems and don't expect to!! I am a man who has no desire to actually be a woman, so as long as I can dress like one I am happy. I guess maybe the only thing that could hold me back would be my health! At my age, 79, one never knows what is going to happen!!

[Danni Renee]

My job and my kids are the last things holding me back and I am working slowly but surely on the kids. The job - well I have about 3 years until I can retire but the minute I do retire, look out!

Danni

[Natalie D]

For me its quite simple really. I don't want my close family especially my Son to know. Also I'm afraid of the possibility of losing them and my close friends. Work would also be extremely hard.
Add to this at the moment I just wouldn't pass and I'm very happy as I am. I live alone and spend almost all my time dressed while there. I'm happy with that.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Respect for my wife it's ok if I dress but shedon't want to be a part of it.

Orchid

[Anna Maria]

Same as Karen and Kim for me. I have the freedom to do as I wish, however for the sake of my extended family and friends I "hold myself back" so to speak.

[nancy58]

The main thing is that I don't want my parents to feel hurt that their son turned out "that way". By every other measure, I've turned out all right: I have a good job, I'm faithful to my wife, and my wife and daughter are my first priorities, but I know from another experience that a deviation from normal -- particularly in sexual matters -- would really upset them. A secondary issue is my wife. She is afraid of what people would think about her for staying with me, and she has said that if I ever transitioned, that would be the end of our relationship. The third thing is that I am generally pretty happy being my male self. Crossdressing and the desire to become a woman seem mainly to stem from my being dissatisfied with my actual life.

[AnitaH]

For me it is two things. First is my wife is not yet entirely comfortable with my dressing but is working on it. The other is I work in an environment where even a hint of something like crossdressing would be a career killer.

AnitaH

[Cindy.]

I'm not passable. The wife is'nt ready to go out like that. I like having a private life, I have no reason for my family/neighbors to know what I do. I wont go out until I think I can pass, even then it'll be at night and probably to a movie.

[Sarasometimes]

You assume that I'm held back? My life has become a balancing act and for me its nice to realize that you can keep all the balls in the air and are happy where you are, doing what your doing. :)

Wow, that is so profound, I hope you don't mind that I copied it. Ditto for me! Now, would it be a bit nicer if society didn't have all their issues with CDing sure, but as the quote above says I'm still able to juggle all the balls and the challenge is part of the fun.