Guilt, the enemy of the crossdresser.

[suzy1]

I know from reading some of the posts here that guilt over crossdressing affects some of the members here [purging?]
If you where born on a deserted island [With a big stash of dresses, lingerie and heels] and you never came into contact with another human and you liked to dress as a women you would never think anything of it. It would be just a normal part of your life.

But we do come into contact with others and then some of us get brainwashed by them into believing we are odd or immoral or weird or something. We are not. Who are they to tell us we are? They are not exactly experts on the subject are they!
We are just as normal as everybody else. But just like everybody else we have our differences. Our likes, dislikes, and needs.

Guilt sucks. And worst of all, it robs us of happiness.
Why should we feel guilty for doing something that is not wrong?
Don’t let guilt effect you. It’s illogical and unnecessary.

I understand some feel guilt because of there religious beliefs. But I think that’s a subject for the Religious Discussion group.

So, do you feel guilty? If you do then why? Tell me.


SUZY

[kimdl93]

Oh, the "why" is easy, Suzy. Most of us were born in western countries, like the US, where there has been a perpetual stigma attached to any gender-related deviation from the apparent 'norm'. We're taught from an early age that boys and girls are different, and that boys who like girls clothes or "act like girls" are very different - and in a bad way. having been one of those boys, I know how it works. Teasing by siblings, kindly parents trying to redirect me from inappropriate behavior. By the time we're teens, we've learned very well, that what we do is wrong and the easiest way to get through life is to repress and deny. Of couse, guilt seems to automatically with repression and denial. And more guilt comes when as a teen you snatch a pair of your sister's stockings or panties just for the feel of the garment. It goes on until someone finally helps us learn that, 1) its not a crime, 2) its more common than you'd think, 3) being a Cdr and a good person are not mutually exclusive, and 4) you're happier being yourself.

[Jay Cee]

I think the strongest emotion I have related to crossdressing and being transgendered is shame (defined by Webster's as: a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety)

I think one of the basic premises of guilt in relation to CD'ing is that we are somehow hurting, embarassing, or causing discomfort to others. Their emotional reaction, however, is their own choice. We harm no one by crossdressing. They only harm themselves.

So, ladies and gentlemen, don't feel guilt over a harmless activity. Feel proud for having the courage to show the world your true selves.

[carhill2mn]

Hi Suzy,

You list some very good points!

[Karren H]

Yea! I do feel guilty!! According to my wife... Everything's always my fault so I guess I'm guilty as charged! And she's not above letting me know it too! Lol.

[MissMarcie]

Why should we feel guilty for doing something that is not wrong?


Whether it's illogical or not, the majority of society believes that Crossdressing is wrong.

[Kittyagain]

Suzy, I just cannot remember ever feeling guilty. Well, not for dressing in woman's clothes anyway.

The only guilt I have ever felt from years ago was not being dressed but who's clothes I dressed in at that time in my life.

Kitty

[Alice Torn]

Guilt has dogged my every breath my whole life, even without the crossdressing.

[sissystephanie]

Whether it's illogical or not, the majority of society believes that Crossdressing is wrong.

Does that make what we as CD'ers do be wrong? Those who would answer yes are totally wrong themselves!! Do you dress to satisfy the public, or do you dress to satisfy yourself? I dress to satisfy myself, not the general public!! So there is no reason for me to feel guilty!! If the majority of society believes that crossdressing is wrong, that is their belief, not mine!! That should not bring guilt to any crossdresser, because what he is doing is his own business and not that of the general public!! As a rule, you are not breaking the law by crossdressing, so don't let public opinion stop you. You are an individual, and have your own likes and dislikes and you should exercise them!! Go get dressed and step out into the public arena!!

[Ressie]

I would say my guilt is related to my religious beliefs. Funny, as the years go by and I dress more often, the guilt (and fear) decreases.

[VioletJourney]

I feel guilty for ever denying myself things which I enjoy.

[Ashliegh]

Yes. I feel guilt all the time. Not from dressing directly but from the cost of it. Any time I buy something for myself, the Ashliegh self, I feel as though I'm wasting money on something that isn't "needed". Money isn't exactly free flowing as it is right now so I've pretty much decided to give it a rest for a while. Back to "male" clothes, even given up shaving at the moment. I just don't see the point ... Hopefully someday I can get back to it but for now ... Just not seeming worth it :(

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I no longer feel guilty for crossdressing because I am accepting me and desire now to go HRT. Just I need a Doctor's referral and that is the stopping point.

I do feel guilty when I look at my wardrobe, I have more nice clothes and shoes than the male part of me.

Oh well, such is life.

[brassieres]

I have guilt on how others will perceive me. Even doing something such as taking a ballet class has a stigma attached to it.

And I'm afraid yo buy psntyhose or walk into Victoria's secret lest I be labeled a pervert ss well.

[*Vanessa*]

Do I feel guilt from dressing - nope.
Have I in the past? - sure when I didn't understand what cross-dressing was

Note: Guilt is a man made emotion
and: Feeling guilty about anything feeds the addiction (or need) to repeat the activity.

It's a repetitive situation, some call it samsara. I don't know where it falls under 'the unspoken institutions' but it would be a great way to try control the masses me thinks :)

[Danni Renee]

I am not sure I feel guilty at all any more (over dressing). I know I used to feel guilty, like I was doing something wrong or shameful. Since I accepted myself and found this website, I cannot really say I feel guilty at all anymore. Even though I am still not ready to step out into the world as my true self, I certainly no longer feel guilty for being who I am.

Danni

[Leslie Iz]

When I first started cding I would feel such guilt that I would go through the cycle every year of buying stuff and then throwing that same stuff out. I attribute most if not all of it to my Catholic upbringing and society in general. After quite a few years of this emotional see saw I decided to give up the fight and accept my wants and desires of being who I am and trusting how I feel. I will continue to be Leslie in my private life only but my fear and regret has been replaced with happiness and joy.

[Debb]

I am guilty of feeling guilt over cross-dressing. I was raised in a strict religion, and that alone has given me quite the bath of guilt ... for nearly everything.

Now that I've grown up (and out), I've got other things to feel guilty about .. but not cross-dressing.

[MissMarcie]

Go get dressed and step out into the public arena!!
Maybe you have nothing to lose. That's not the case for me. So No, I won't be going public in the forseeable future.

[missmillie]

I have NEVER felt guilty about wearing womens or girls clothes as I started this thing very young at about age 8or9 I think my mother was a very permissive person and let me do want I wanted, although she hung Milly on me at that time.
My Father if I knew him he left when I was 2 years old never wanted anything to do with me or my sis.
That is the only thing I feel guilty not knowing him but the years have healed that part of me.
If you read my other posts you may know where this comes from.
NO I am not guilty!
Love Milly

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Suzy, I don't feel guilty when I'm Dressing but when I'm putting my things away I feel guilty.

Orchid

[Maria 60]

I would like to say that i don't feel guilt but just belonging to a Italian family guilt comes with it. My cousin came out years ago that he is gay and now almost 3 years later they are still talking about it, imagine if they found out about me. As my dad used to say, everybody has a skeleton in there closet, we all have our own bad habits.

[AnitaH]

I have spent my entire life running afoul of what society and my peers have said was normal from my male clothing to my choice of music. But nothing has brought me the feelings of guilt that crossdressing has. Much of it (but not all) is due to my strict religious upbringing. But also the need to hide what I was doing. Only within the last month or so have I begun to see that I shouldn't feel guilty for being myself.

AnitaH

[Emme]

Embarrasment is a handicap. A man made way to"get to" others. I can not be embarrased. I practice Dental Medicine...if someone does not wantmy help......then so be it!
At age 55, I told everyone in the family. No one has said a word. My grand children see my pained toes and very little was said...except my oldest ocassionally says....nice toes!
YOUNG CDers, DO NOT LET GUILT OR EMBARASSSMENT GET TO YOU! MOST PEOPLE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO!!!

[nancy58]

Guilt is pretty much shoved into the trunk where it belongs. It's OK to be TG. It helps that I came out to my wife and bought my own clothes. As for everyone else, what's under my dress is no more their business than what's under their clothing is my business. It took years of therapy to get to the point that I won't take responsibility for how people feel about me for just being. Learning and believing that one thing has helped me in many more things than crossdressing.

[desa ray]

Not guilt so much as foolish. I'm kinda of a big person and no matter what I do I'll never pass. so once in a while I feel a little silly even trying.
Desa.

[Jenny B]

for me it comes from my religious beliefs

[Kaitlyn26]

Whether it's illogical or not, the majority of society believes that Crossdressing is wrong.

Yep, 9 of 10 negative responses will be "That ain't right". It often comes from a pathetic human being that has no right to judge anyone. When all the other sheep follow the lead though, it can make it hurt.

[Annette Anderson]

I know there will be opposing viewpoints to this.But for some ,what if this was not our doing?...I have just read an article on Diethylstilbestrol (DES).The prevalence of tg,ts,gay male,bi male.was very significantly increased. they are still tracking this through the third generations,after it was given to pregnant woman from about 1940 to 1971.It is a potent synthetic estrogen given to these woman to prevent adverse pregnancy outcomes.It did not even work by the way.Makes you wonder why they used it all that time

[Tara D. Rose]

I feel guilty everyday. I struggle with all that I am most every woken minute. I wish I could quit it all, just as well as drinking and smoking. The hardest thing to stop would me becoming Tara. But it's strange how what I feel I cannot control, still leaves me feeling so extremily guilty.
Love & Respect..........Tara

[Annette Anderson]

Oh yeah,forgot to add, that they were also putting this in the cattle feed in these years.So when i was done with my yummy DES burger ,I had no problem slipping into my pantyhose and mini with heels of course.Well maybe it was all planned that way.

[Kaitlyn26]

Oh yeah,forgot to add, that they were also putting this in the cattle feed in these years.So when i was done with my yummy DES burger ,I had no problem slipping into my pantyhose and mini with heels of course.Well maybe it was all planned that way.

Kinda side tracked but hey it's whatever. Many chemicals have been shown to raise estrogen levels in a pregnant woman's body and can cause some birth related issues. It's all around us, everywhere. That's why they say pregnant women should never be around any chemicals. So many of them cause the issue, it's just out of control. Whether or not it in anyway changes your bodies hormone or psychology remains to be proven.

[Annette Anderson]

I am sorry to hear that tara.I know for myself that when i stopped drinking altogether i was less depressed.Then, i was more able to come to terms with this.This is a life long condition,they told me that 15 years ago in a support group,and i still fought it with everything i had in me.it took me all that time to realize that they were telling me the truth.Sometimes i am not that smart,could have saved years of pain.and just listened.But something else happened.maybe i needed to go through that.I fought her for so long.I now have a love and respect for annette.we both have battle scars.I know she was always with me my whole life and she always will be until i die

[Annette Anderson]

The research studied children of mothers who were given DES.they compared this with the general population.The DES offspring showed significant rises in transgender behavior,to transexual,and bi and gay male

[Kaitlyn26]

The research studied children of mothers who were given DES.they compared this with the general population.The DES offspring showed significant rises in transgender behavior,to transexual,and bi and gay male

Could be purely coincidence, changing times, etc.

[ashleymasters]

I do feel guilt about lying to those I'm close to. Especially my best friend.

[DebbieL]

This is a great thread, and there have been some great responses.

When I first started dressing, I was about 3 or 4 years old. We put on a circus and the girls put me in a leotard and tights. All I had to do was jump off a garage roof into a bunch of mattresses. It was fun. We played together, and we dressed up. I didn't think anything of it. My friends were girls, and girls liked to dress up and play house. So did I.

Everything was fine, until I moved to a new neighborhood. At first the girls lived that this new boy in class liked to play with all the girls. I didn't fight back when they tried to kiss me, and I would sit with them on the school bus. When we got home from school, we would color, do crafts, and play Barbies. Life was good. We even got dressed up, in big dresses that were way too big, and high heels that were as big as our legs, and laugh and giggle.

But one day, the girls decided to dress me up pretty, like them. They put me in their underwear, tights, a dress that fit, and shoes that fit. I looked like a pretty girl. I loved it. I was happy. I wanted to BE a girl for the rest of my life.

But then the mother of the house came home. She freaked out, told me to get out of her daughter's dress, get back in my boy-clothes, get out of her house, and never come back. I think she even hit me. I cried the hole time I was getting dressed, and the whole time I was walking back home. I didn't know what I had done wrong, but it must have been really horrible.

When I came back to school on Monday, none of the girls would play with me. The wouldn't talk to me. They wouldn't kiss me. They wouldn't even be mean to me. They told me they weren't allowed to play with me anymore. I was so alone. I was so sad. I wanted to just go home and cry. I didn't want to go to school anymore.

On Tuesday, the teacher told me that I had to go play with the boys. When I tried to join them, they called me a "Sissy" and started hitting me. Then they started throwing dirt clods and mud-balls at me. I threw a few back, assuming this was just what boys did when they played. Then they started throwing rocks. At first they were small and they were hitting my jacket. But then they got bigger, and they started hitting my head. Finally, a fist sized rock hit me in the eye. I went to the nurses office and I didn't want to leave. I hated school now.

A day or two later, my hatred was expressing itself, and I was moved to the "Dummy" side of the class. The smart side started reading a book I had already started to read. At that point I was really upset at the teacher as well as the class. So that I didn't lose interest in reading, my mom got me a library card and I escaped into books. I liked non-fiction books. Reading fiction stories about boys or girls my age just made me sad. I wanted to be a girl, hated being a boy, and didn't know why I couldn't just grow my hair longer and become a girl.

Of course, by now I had been convinced that dressing up must be something terrible, but I really liked it. I got mom's church clothes out of the dirty clothes hamper in the bathroom, and put them on. They felt nice, but they also made me feel even more like I wanted to be a girl. I thnk even tried to tell my mom that I wanted to be a girl, that I didn't want to get a haircut, that I didn't want those scratchy jeans, that I wanted pretty clothes.

Mom was afraid that her father, a fundamentalist Christian, would do something terrible to me if he found out that I wanted to be a girl. He might have even threatened to my mother than he would but me in a Christian Boarding School if I didn't give up this notion of becoming a girl. Mom taught me to sew, crochet, knit, do bead-work, and handicrafts. She even let me help with the cooking. But I wasn't allowed to wear a dress or pretty clothes.

So I would lock myself in the bathroom, in the middle of the night, and get all dressed up in mom's church clothes. Stockings, girdle, bra, slip, and dress. I loved being pretty and would often stay up for hours. I think my mom may have suspected, because I'd be put to bed very early, usually around 7 PM, so that I could get some sleep before my 3:00 AM fashion show.

Of course, I also saw other girls wearing pretty dresses and thought about how much I'd like to be wearing that dress. I remember several occasions where I would be riding in the car with my grandfather, looking at a girl in a really pretty dress, thinking how much I wanted to wear that dress, and my grandfather saying "That girl is dressed like a ***** and she's going to hell". If she was going to hell, then I must be going someplace much worse.

Of course, with mom and grandpa acting that way, I couldn't tell them. I couldn't tell my dad either. I couldn't tell my friends at church, and I didn't have any friends at school. So I had to lie, pretend to be a boy, pretend to be something I didn't want to be, and pretend not to be what I wanted to be, just to make everybody else happy, or at least keep them from hurting me.

And so the deception went, year after year. 6, 7, 8, 9 years old. Since I didn't want to play with kids my own age, I read, alot. By the time I was in second grade, I was reading 8th grade books. By the time I was in 4th grade, I was reading at high school level, and by the end of 5th grade, I was reading at college level. I'd learned to cook, sew, do laundry, knit, crochet, do beadwork, leatherwork, and photography. I had also learned chemistry, physics, electricity, electronics, and mechanics. I had learned to make explosives and rockets, as well as model airplanes. I'd learned to fly a plane. I'd earned a general class ham radio license. At church, I had read the bible cover-to-cover about 10 times, so I could get into very interesting theological debates. I even learned to preach. I liked getting into conversations with adults about philosophy, politics, and theology. I was often intellectually brutal, and even adults often got upset when I would challenge their thinking. And I could write!

When mom decided I had to play with some kids my own age, I went outside and met the kid across the street. He had two sisters, and the younger one was more like a buddy. I liked her a lot. We went to the Baptist youth group events together, and I started to make some friends. One day I brought one of my friends from my church, which was more liberal. After he was publicly humiliated, I humiliated the youth pastor, using scripture to do it, in front of all of his kids. He banned me from the church, and every member of the youth group was forbidden to look at me or speak to me, anyone who did would suffer the same fate as me.

So of course I didn't want to tell girls how much I liked their outfits, and where could I get one just like it. In fact, when girls were allowed to wear pants in exchange for boys being able to wear jeans, I took a pair of my tightest jeans and made a pair of cut-offs that were like Daisy Dukes. I wore them to school, and at lunch I was dragged across the pavement by the jocks. first they dragged my legs and ass over the asphalt, until that was bleeding, then they rolled me over and dragged my stomach over it until that was bleeding. All under the watchful eye of the 3 gym coaches who wanted to make sure that none of the boys wore ANY kind of shorts, other than for Gym class.

Getting beat up for being a "queer" didn't help much either. And to make matters worse, I was invited for sleep-overs by 3 boys who were gay and assumed I'd be interested. They were quite upset when I wasn't.

When I found out I had a bass voice, I figured that killed any chance of a sex change. I wanted to die. I turned to booze and drugs, often drinking and drugging myself into black-outs - when my feminine side took over. I became "Dr Jeckyl and Miss Hyde". I didn't remember what "Miss Hyde" did when I blacked out. It was only years later, when I learned to meditate as Debbie, that I began to remember. "Miss Hyde" was a ****. She would flirt with the girls and give them intense pleasure, but wouldn't let them touch her "boy parts". She also had an attitude toward men that often got her in a heap of trouble. My friends often told me they would stop taking me out if I didn't stop causing trouble. On the other hand, "Miss Hyde" knew what the girls liked, and once she was nicely lit, she could fix up the boys and girls in about 10 minutes so that everybody was having a good time. I don't know if "Miss Hyde" ever told anyone about wanting to be a girl, or wanting to dress.

After nearly 20 years of hiding, lying, and pretending to be what I didn't want to be, and pretending not to be what I wanted to be, the lying, the guilt, the fear, and the shame were killing me. I finally decided to tell a 12 -step sponsor in my 5th step, and he told me I had to tell the girl I was living with. She seemed OK with it at first, but when she asked me to quit smoking and I didn't, she decided she wouldn't accept my dressing. There were rare exceptions, like when she wanted to tie me up so she could get pregnant, or when she wanted a brand new car, in her name, or when she wanted to move back to Colorado, or when she wanted a divorce. But when I quit smoking for good, she was still unwilling to have anything to do with my dressing, and didn't want me going out either.

I finally found some people I could tell, when I was about 32. I told a couple of men, and they told me they couldn't be my sponsor anymore. I told some women, who were much more supportive. One even offered to take me shopping. At the same time, I was married and had two children. I couldn't accept some of the offers being made by these other women, because I wanted to stay faithful to my wife, even though, by now, we were only room-mates.

When my wife started having an affair, and decided she wanted a divorce, I finally decided to come out of the closet. I could say that it cost me my marriage, my kids, my job, and my church (by then I was Mormon). But the reality is that it was my dishonesty that did all that. After becoming a master of deception, pretending to be what I didn't want to be and pretending not to be what I wanted to be, coming out turned everybody's life upside down.

After about 18 months, I had a whole new life that supported me. My job, my lovers, my friends, my groups, and my spiritual programs, were all structured to support me in being authentic and honest with people. My only regret is that I didn't do it 20 years earlier.


She

[Frédérique]

Why should we feel guilty for doing something that is not wrong?
Don’t let guilt effect you. It’s illogical and unnecessary.
So, do you feel guilty? If you do then why? Tell me.

No, I don’t feel guilty about the desire to wear women’s (or girl’s) clothing, nor do I feel guilty about actually dressing in clothes that weren’t designed for me, or my gender. I also do not feel guilty (at all) about emasculating myself via my choice of clothing, since I have already been mentally emasculated by years of abuse, censure, and bullying. The clothing, in these parts referred to as “feminine,” is merely a foregone conclusion, a by-product of my innate persona…

What is there to feel guilty about? That I am not the MAN I’m supposed to be, that I am not the son, husband, or father I’m expected to be, or that I am not the GG across the street’s idea of what a male must be? Why don’t others feel guilty about creating this hostile atmosphere, where all sorts of alternative beings are dismissed for lack of understanding, compassion, or a genuine feeling of community? Shouldn’t the perpetrators feel guilty for insisting that I, in some way, MUST feel guilty for my actions, even though they spring from a true appreciation of the “self?” Just asking, but you won’t get any illuminating answers in these dark times…
:straightface:

[Beth Wilde]

I no longer see the point in feeling guilty. I realised that I only had to live to one persons expectations...... MINE! As long as I live within the law with a degree of human decency, how I dress or what I do are nobodies concern except mine.

So to sum it up, be you, do it as well as you can, and be happy with what you have.... There are murderers, rapist, robbers, frauds and many others of their ilk out there.... They should feel guilty, they are committing crimes - YOU ARE NOT!!

[LeaP]

So, do you feel guilty? If you do then why? Tell me.


A very complicated question. Short answer is yes.

Long answer is not for what I am and feel but for what I inflict. I feel completely normal. All I want is to be myself and the fact that that includes expression that's outside of gender norms doesn't bother psychologically at all. What triggers my guilt is inflicting my presence on people. On my supportive, accepting wife, who was, no doubt looking for and deserving of something more conventional. On others because what they get is a lie. Often I would simply prefer not to be.

Honestly, I don't understand those who are completely out can take (ignore, not see?) the social pressure, comments, looks, ridicule even. Maybe I'm too sensitive or fearful, but even were I less so, I don't think I could do it. The closet inflicts it's own damage, including the guilt I feel over being so false, but it may be less destructive nonetheless.

Guilt the enemy of the crossdresser. And transgendered. Yes indeed.

Lea

[suzy1]

A very complicated question. Short answer is yes.

Long answer is not for what I am and feel but for what I inflict. I feel completely normal. All I want is to be myself and the fact that that includes expression that's outside of gender norms doesn't bother psychologically at all. What triggers my guilt is inflicting my presence on people. On my supportive, accepting wife, who was, no doubt looking for and deserving of something more conventional. On others because what they get is a lie. Often I would simply prefer not to be.

Honestly, I don't understand those who are completely out can take (ignore, not see?) the social pressure, comments, looks, ridicule even. Maybe I'm too sensitive or fearful, but even were I less so, I don't think I could do it. The closet inflicts it's own damage, including the guilt I feel over being so false, but it may be less destructive nonetheless.

Guilt the enemy of the crossdresser. And transgendered. Yes indeed.

Lea

A very interesting reply to my guilt thread Lea.

Should you be feeling guilt over hurting others as it’s not your fault that you are a crossdresser? Like most of us you were probably born this way. You did not choose it.

And yet I can see how you would still feel guilty for hurting others. The result of being a kind and caring person I would think.

Your other point commenting on how others can ignore the repercussions of going out is something I also do not understand. They must have very thick skins indeed. But good for them if they can do it.


a hug from, SUZY

[Cynthia Anne]

I think the main thing I'm guilty of is taking so long to come to my senses and realizing that this is who I am! For this I am ashamed! Hugs!

[Shelly67]

Guilt is such a powerful part of our nature - it's very controlling .
Think on , its used by the media in every way possible to gain control .
Bad propoganda .

[LeaP]

"Should you be feeling guilt over hurting others as it’s not your fault that you are a crossdresser? Like most of us you were probably born this way. You did not choose it."

No I should not, and I strongly believe I was born this way as the behavior extends to my earliest memories. So at some level I've accepted the guilt. Certainly I have enough understanding of it's source and nature at this point in life that I'm responsible for my own feelings and reactions. Still, guilt of this sort is exceedingly difficult to eliminate.

Lea

[Gillian Gigs]

Guilt is a very strong force in many individuals lives. It works along side of shame to create a type of one, two punch that is very crippling. Several of the girls have talked about how religion has used guilt to try to accomplish some form of control over their lives. This makes me want to cry. Within true christianity, Christ came to set us free from guilt and shame. Funny how the very institutions that are supposed to help, have become the oppressor instead. This is what happens when people get into control and enforce their own aggenda. That also makes me want to cry.

I used to be full of guilt and shame, not any more, life is to short. I have come to the point where I will not live by other peoples rules anymore. I find that just as I reach the point of living by "their rules" the rules get changed to something else. You will never win playing a "game" by anothers rules. They will make sure of that, and they will add guilt and shame to keep you playing for as long as possible.

[ArleneRaquel]

In the past guilty feelings have led me to purge 2 times. The last time was circa 2004. At this stage of my journey those guilty feelings are long gone.

[Shelly67]

Heres a thought ........ in days to come , as the years pass and we all grow old , I wonder how many of us in our age and wisdom will look back and feel guilty about the crossdressing side , and our behaviour in life ?

[SarahLynn]

Yea! I do feel guilty!! According to my wife... Everything's always my fault so I guess I'm guilty as charged! And she's not above letting me know it too! Lol.

Hummm, now Karren please to understand, you know that she is without fault, and you are guilty in everything you say and do. As a crossdresser there is but one cure: Marry yourself. :love::love: This solves all the issues; you will be guilty in everything you say and do, :devil: but without fault because you are the woman of the house.:heehee::heehee: Truely a connumdrum if there ever was one. :eek::eek:

[KellyJameson]

Words are interesting but often dangerous because they can cause confusion just as easily as they can bring clarity, guilt is one such word. Guilt is the result of having sat in judgement of oneself with the result of a GUILTY verdict. Seems obvious but the problem is we condemn ourselves unfairly so suffer self imposed guilt unjustly. To stop this we must step back because we do not see the forest for the trees. It is usually not in the interest of others to have men crossdress because this threatens to reduce their usefullness. When you reach a point where you stop using others and refuse to be used than you become free to only use yourself and the guilt vanishes. The corrupt moral teachings that have been used to enslave our minds must be thrown away by seeing the hypocrisies of those who try to control you with your guilt.Where there is fear in relationships there is exploitation and most relationships do not hold the individuals life as it's highest value but what the individuals life offers as currency. exploitation and guilt go hand in hand when relationships are about control. I may fear physical violence because I crossdress but I never feel guilt or shame because my dressing does not violate my own personal moral code, a code I developed once I understood that the right or wrong behavior imposed on me by others was self serving and hypocritical. To honor the lives of others first you must honor your own.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I feel guilty about the bad things I have done in my life. Crossdressing is not one of them. There is nothing wrong with being a crossdresser, there is nothing to feel guilty about. My only regrets are when I miss opportunities to go out dressed.