Discussion or CONFESSION?

[Frédérique]

Pardon me, but I’m a little confused – is this a discussion forum or a confessional?

First of all, let’s start with this basic premise – IT’S OK TO CROSSDRESS!!! It’s perfectly OK to be a crossdresser, it’s OK to wear the “wrong” clothes, and it’s OK to be YOU, whatever, or whoever, “you” happen to be (and you are the only expert who knows who you are). For many of us, this place may seem like the Promised Land, where you can finally give “voice” to your innermost feelings and be welcomed by your sister-peers. I understand how you feel, since I originally came to sites like this to DISCUSS the desire to crossdress, compare our mutual means to an end, and write about the attendant feelings one has while they are dressing, or in the state of being dressed. Within this scenario, certain topics are discussed over and over again...

During the past few months, the situation of being “in the closet,” as opposed to being “out,” has been endlessly discussed, and probably will continue to do so. This one topic has led to myriad discussions about the nature of fear, society’s view of the transgendered, the crossdressers’ view of society, and, eventually, why you are not allowed to engage in gender confusion. Someone will inevitably say (quite rightly), “SO WHAT?” and the discussion laps itself, becoming an endless loop that goes nowhere – this qualifies as a true “discussion,” since a topic for consideration has been discussed from several different viewpoints. If that’s not enough, we can always extricate the word GAY from our grab-bag of juicy over-discussed topics and engage in another session of give-and-take. On and on it goes (whatever “it” is), but this is what I came here for – let’s “talk” about these divisive things...

Now, if an individual comes here and confesses something, or lets loose a torrent of emotional baggage that has been building up over time and searching for an outlet, what, pray tell, is there to discuss? I mean, I can’t fully understand how YOU feel about things if you don’t give me something to hang on to, or an opening to step through – was there a question amongst the personal outpourings? Do I really need to be here, or carefully read what you have to say? Would you like to be part of a discussion at all? If the answer to any of these questions is a meek “no,” then I would suggest keeping a secret journal, and sticking it in the closet, right next to your femme finery. I did that for a long time, before I slowly began to participate in forums like this one, leaving my lurking behind and learning how to discuss things with other, more successful crossdressers from all walks of life. I feel at home in a discussive atmosphere, but when these self-same people start to confess their “sins” of commission or omission, I feel ill at ease...

For instance, I wouldn’t think of, or even consider, starting a thread about how I feel TODAY. I mean, who cares? Let’s say I don’t feel like dressing-up today, and I’m off doing other things, purposely leaving my crossdressing in the lurch and trying to distance myself from those special feelings I’ve had ever since I was a little boy. Fine, but when I realize my mistake and eventually re-incorporate my “self,” feeling all pretty and self-assured again, do I rush to this site and tell all? What if I got overly depressed about something, and my crossdressing suffers to the point of adding to my overall depression, causing a downward spiral that I cannot explain, let alone deal with? Do I confess my state of mind here, and hope someone’s kind words can help me, or do I just write for myself and dump it here for no good reason? If the source of my depression has nothing to do with crossdressing, I don’t see how this can be a meaningful topic for discussion...

Of course, if one’s crossdressing assuages their mental state, or confused mindset, this can be a useful topic for discussion, especially in a place like this, where I (amongst my sisters) enjoy reading a positive, reinforcing tale of personal triumph – I thus help myself by reading your words of comfort, but was there a question imbedded in your discourse? In other words, am I allowed to participate? Are you waiting for me to say “I agree,” or “Good post?” I guess what I’m asking is this – what do you get out of this forum, this site, or this board? Do you come here to discharge, or pick through what others have dumped in an effort to better understand your own life (or circumstances)? Since crossdressing is a highly personal undertaking, and your life is very much unlike mine, I fail to see how relevant my life is to yours, or vice versa. That being said, MtF crossdressers who can write about their feelings are rare, and we are drawn together as a result. If you are fearful of going “out,” you can confess your fear within the context of a discussion, and make a useful contribution to the latter, even though you may reveal yourself in the process. We all make confessions of one sort or another, but I would rather see them woven into the fabric of discourse and not isolated...

I see this place like a pub, or a casual meeting-place. We’re all sitting around tables, and yours truly is sitting in the corner with another shy member or two. I picture myself calmly viewing the proceedings from a distance, writing a few pertinent notes, sticking them on the nearby bulletin board, and then leaving the premises abruptly, maybe to walk around and think about something, or perhaps to just let the air circulate around my exposed knees for a time. I return, just as abruptly, and the process continues. If this was a weekly confessional meeting, with a solitary microphone perched on a stand, sitting on a raised platform, begging for a cathartic self-diatribe, I wouldn’t be there. If someone wants to begrudgingly acknowledge that they are a crossdresser, or they are declaring themselves to be a CD of a certain “level” of expertise, do they really need my support? If you are comfortable with your crossdressing, I’m tuned in to your wavelength, but if you’re having problems with the need to crossdress, or your "self" in general, I’m searching for a signal...

Case in point - I haven’t done any writing for a week or so (can you tell?), but I have nothing to say about that. It’s a completely meaningless topic, after all – why would you care how I feel? Sometimes I feel like writing, and sometimes I don’t, but it isn’t BECAUSE of something. Could I be any more detached from the proceedings (i.e. real life) by being on a discussion forum like this? I mean, you can’t SEE me, and I can’t see you, but I’m supposed to treat you, an ephemeral presence at best, as a confidant of some sort? I want to, but I hold back, keeping my “cards” close to my fake bosom, since I’ve been burned on occasion. For this reason I steer clear of confessions and stick to the topics at hand, namely why I, a male, can’t wear this dress for fear of censure, nor can I even reveal my painted toenails here in the Land of Nod. Why is that? Well, THAT is a topic for discussion, my friends. The truth is I have nothing to confess, other than my love of crossdressing – can you relate to that?

Here’s the punch line, for all you fans of punch lines – are you here to read people’s confessions, engage in discussions, or perhaps try to discuss someone’s confession? In the case of the latter, I don’t think it’s possible – please don’t tell me how YOU feel, tell me how you FEEL instead (in the proper context, of course)...

This post is dedicated to suzy1, who insists I take life too seriously. I confess I don’t, so THERE...:hmph:

PS – I still keep a diary of my innermost thoughts, but it is impossible for others to read (by choice)...:eek:

[Sarasometimes]

Let's continue with your Pub analogy. Many people go to a Pub because of the way they "FEEL" that day. Maybe happy, so let me go have a pint and share my happiness with some other blokes or maybe they "FEEL" sad do to something in their lives like a job loss. No one there can get them their job back. So why would they go there and talk about what happened and how they "FEEL"? Because maybe someone there has been down that same road and can share some insight with them. This insight may help them work through those "FEELINGS". Wait aminute i think your pub analogy is right on!
So the reason you see what you see here is because you are at an online pub. Sometimes pub talk has hard and clear content and sometimes it doesn't. I think it may be time for you to take another walk to let air circulate around your ankles and come back refreshed.
I closing, the one nice thing about our "Pub" is that if you don't want to hear a certain story or tale of woe you just don't click on that thread. I a real pub you would have to excuse yourself or move to a new stool. For me I like the diverse, relatively unrestricted nature of the posts here. I think our moderators do a find job.
I hate to have to say this but I think your post is all about how you FEEL which I think is a violation of what your own posting policy is?? Hey I'm outta here, i got to go and read some other posts about "FEELINGS".

[Karren H]

More entertainment than anything else!

[TGMarla]

I'm sitting at the table, and I put in my two cents....I usually don't get up and leave right away. Rather, I go get another pint, since the more of them I drink, the smarter I get on any given topic.

Yeah, a lot of the ladies here do use this place as a confessional. But it's not simply a discussion forum, is it? It's supposed to be for support as well. If someone has a "feeling" that is so overwhelming for them that they feel a need to spew it all over these boards, well, then they may derive some kind of support or validation for that feeling by doing so. Others can either choose to chime in their own thoughts about those feelings, or choose to ignore it all together.

Anyone up for another panty thread?

I need another pint. Anyone?

[kimdl93]

It seems to me that this place can be a confessional, a discussion board, a group therapy session or a friendly tavern, depending on the preferences of each individual.

[Cynthia Anne]

Gee! All this time I thought I was enjoying reading about discussions on confessions! Go figure! Shame on me!

[Joanna41]

It is what is to the readers and writers of the posts. I don't always write replies to others postings. Sometimes my thoughts to someone's post are better left unsaid. I'm here because I enjoy the stories and the advice. I look for ways to be more passable, so I look for posts that can help with that. If someone wants to confess something what the heck do I care. I don't have to read it. So my 2 cents is finished...was this a confession or a discussion post...lol

Joanna

[Sarah Doepner]

It may be something for the rest of us to pay attention to. It could be a person posts a confession because they honestly are so confused about something in their life that they don't know what question to ask, or possibly how to ask it. As we read these confessional posts it might be reasonable to try and tease out the topic or question buried under all that emotion. There's where the support comes in, helping someone actually see they have questions and can deal with the crazy in their life. But drawing people out and counseling them is hard work and something people go to school and study for years to do well.

Maybe the rest of us (myself included), who don't really have that skill or the interest in becoming involved in someone elses swirling emotional life, can sit back, watch and be entertained.

[Vieja]

This is a great place to come no matter the reason. You can express your feelings, state your opinions and agree or disagree with others as long as you respect their

right to think as they please.


Vieja

[*Vanessa*]

Seems that this post is treading...

First off I want to tell you I have nothing against you. I do however have a few things to say about your post and most of that is a response for those that would rather just move to that next post then feel they have to defend their rights as individuals to a post so written.

How about this for discussion is it not your confession? Or should I ask how you are really feeling?

There are those that come here to get reflection on topic for self help make it through the day, including myself. Where Else? I will write here as a lightning rod for anyone. So be it, as this is supposed to be a community where we all respect one another (right). I write here representing a per centage of the members and not necessarily only my point of view.

The reason I use this platform has nothing to do with guilt or confession. I do not agree with all that reply to what I post all the time as their feelings are from their respective perspectives. How they see life. There is one individual that uses a more clinical approach to replying, giving help so-to-speak so one can get good information or at least where that information maybe found. If you analyze the answers offered sometime there is valid help for a community member that needs it at that time.

To reply to lesser interesting thread; not everyone want some heady conversation to do with their tea. What kind of panties are you wearing today gets a lot of feed back because it's simply fun! And quite frankly I hate them all for having them in the air at me. <humour to lighten this up a little>

Crossdressing is highly personal? What else would it be other than totally personal? I agree with you on this point as well as I to find what you are saying, here, of little value. Once a person gets past the self-diffraction there seems to be no conversation at all kind a like a confessional I’d say.
Woven into the fabric of discussion? What does this even mean? So you mean side-stepping a problem that I might be having somehow so I don't offend you? Well who knew?

Nice of you to tell me how I should see you in your "club" however I see a girl with her panties twisted ranting about things that everyone else is quite easy with.

I have seen other posts of your and reply before. In general, I find anyone using a smaller font is trying to make themselves look more important by forcing people, that maybe interested in what you are say to look closer, to pay more attention than is normally needed to get through your post. But that's just me.
You never write 'because' of something? Please, this post is all about the 'because' and nothing more.

Showing your cards? Your cards have more holes then Spanish Lace girl. So where is the conversation, the engagement, the rapier, the warmth of friendship, the kindred spirit? It is in the exact same place as the posts and people you are trying to say have no rights.

You have nothing to confess? This post is your confession; from start to end you confess not liking the majority of crossdressers here that like to talk on about nothing at times. Kind a like going to that pub and talking about the hockey game and using a small ’t’ while doing it.
As I say at the top. I have nothing against you so don’t take it personal but I did have something to say about the post.

– love Vanessa

[Kittyagain]

What ever you want to call it, i find myself reading a bunch of post. From my view point, I have gotten a lot more back from the forum than I have given.

I have smiled reading one post then cried at another.

Always interesting.

Kitty

[Miss Maxine]

This is why I rarely get involved in threads that deal with issues such as coming out. It's way too sensitive, way too personal, and I would be way too opinionated, if I shared my thoughts. I'm not here to pick a fight or to tell people whether they are right or wrong about how they choose to live their lives. I am here for casual discussion with others who have mutual interests.

[Danni Renee]

I think the "confessional" platform is one of the most important aspects of the forum. I know that for me, I had to get past the confessional stage before I felt ready, or even qualified, to enter a real discussion. The reason is simple: before I could truly discuss a topic I felt I needed to be accepted. When I made my confessions the one most important thing that was said to me, whether directly or indirectly, was:

"You are not alone"

That sentiment is what gave me the courage and willingness to become a participant in the discussions that have followed.

Danni

[jennCD]

For instance, I wouldn’t think of, or even consider, starting a thread about how I feel TODAY.

I'm confused too.

Isn't this thread about just that? How you feel TODAY? (even if you still happen to feel the same way tomorrow, of course.)
Discussion or confession? Maybe a combination... we can call it a uh,.. discfession?... or maybe a concussion?....

:)
jenn

[Miss Maxine]

Discfession...I think I have some of that under my sink. Not too sure, though...when I went searching for it I hit my head on the bottom of the sink and got a meaningful concussion.

[Sweet Sabrina]

I'm going to go along with the majority and agree that this is what this forum is for. Much like most of the topics discussed here, if you don't like them don't read them. If I wish to share my feelings on a given topic and hope that I get some meaningful replies that benefit my situation then great. If not then at least I have gotten whatever it was off my chest. Not everything on this site has to turn into a deep existential debate/discussion. I read your entire post and came away with the distinct impression you were sharing your feelings on a topic that bothered you. How is this any different then the posts you are complaining about or are annoyed with? From my vantage point there is no distinguishing characteristics. Or is it because your post has enough "air" to it that it validates itself? The point is, until moderators choose to block posts that are either non-sensical or lack substance then you can either read them or ignore them. I am honestly not trying to be antagonistic but damn. Everyone one here has the right to talk about whatever bothers them.

[Frédérique]

I hate to have to say this but I think your post is all about how you FEEL which I think is a violation of what your own posting policy is??

There is no "policy." I hate to say (write) THIS, but how do you know it’s about how I feel, since you don’t really know me at all? I’m not stating that feelings are inadequate fodder for discussion, but when somebody vents their feelings for no good reason, with no actual discussion forthcoming, I just don’t see the point of it. I think I explained this thoroughly in the OP, if you care to read it…


Maybe the rest of us (myself included), who don't really have that skill or the interest in becoming involved in someone elses swirling emotional life, can sit back, watch and be entertained.

Well, I do that on occasion, in fact I have gotten involved in other members’ emotional lives against my better judgment. I could easily write a big, long thing about how I’m feeling at any given moment (like right now), but I assume nobody on this board would be interested. For instance, I was working on these responses several hours ago, and I got an unexpected call from my long-lost childhood friend (actually my female cousin). This changed the whole tone of my being to the point of mollifying my “stance” about confessions masquerading as discussions. I guess I come from a family that does not express their emotional problems (or encounters) verbally, and this carries over to whatever I write – the same with my cousin, as it turns out. BTW, I wish my stuff was more "entertaining."
:sad:


Woven into the fabric of discussion? What does this even mean? You have nothing to confess? This post is your confession; from start to end you confess not liking the majority of crossdressers here that like to talk on about nothing at times. I have nothing against you so don’t take it personal but I did have something to say about the post.

I submit you DO have something against me, just like many others on this board (the ones who like to “talk” about nothing, for instance). I, on the other hand, like ALL crossdressers, so you may have to re-think your theory. “Woven into the fabric of discussion” was explained in the OP. You should think about what you write before you write it, and not offer knee-jerk reactions to something you do not (or cannot) fully understand – I’m sure a few individuals will call me “arrogant” for writing that, but they, like you, have already made up their minds about me…

The OP is not in any way a confession. If you can’t tell the difference, I don’t know what to say, but at least I got you to BEGIN discussing something. If you got that far, you may notice that I placed a question or two at the end of the original post, INVITING responses. I’m pleased that (so far) nobody has written “Good post” as a reply – the latter is appropriate for a confession…

PS - Don't take this reply the wrong way. Obviously, I have nothing against you...:straightface:


Isn't this thread about just that? How you feel TODAY?

In case you’re wondering, I wrote the original post based on something I read HERE several days ago, so it most assuredly was NOT about how I feel today – these ideas, or the written pieces that follow, often simmer for awhile before seeing the (brief) light of day. Naturally, I’ve written a few confessions in my time, but I at least try to generate some discussion by inviting other members’ opinions – the piece in question that I read offered no such invitation, which prompted me to write in a rather unsympathetic tone. The fact that the post that inspired MY post was authored by a dear friend of mine is somewhat disappointing, but it did happen to trigger my response. I see a lot of this here, so pardon me if I have to couch my words in confession-speak to be noticed…


????????????????????????????????????????????

Sorry, darling – I can’t see anything you write. Let me guess – you’re trying to steal my tiara again? :heehee:

[Sophie86]

I don't see an inherent problem with confessional type posts, although they're not my thing. I enjoy discussions and relating anecdotes, but I save "outpourings of emotional baggage" for my nearest and dearest. The danger of indulging in them here is that people often don't know the best way to respond. In my view, the proper way to respond is to either offer what moral support you can, or remain silent. Too often, people see them as an invitation to debate the OPs moral shortcomings. It's unlikely that most of us would respond in that manner to a friend who was looking for a shoulder to cry on, but when it's a stranger on the internet, who cares?

[*Vanessa*]

Why so nasty? I wrote to your post -and you retort with a personal slam? Shame on you !
I rest my case.

[Rachel Mari]

I tend to read almost all the posts and sometimes I'll reply. I think that the rants, confessions, discussions, stories...... is what this forum is all about.
Sometimes people just want to say something, to give it a voice so it's not all bottled up inside.... so they don't feel so alone. Isn't that what friends are for, to give support, or advice or just to listen to what they have to say? In or out of the closet, confession, discussion, etc., doesn't matter.
And thrown into the mix are a few stories, or activities, that'll leave you feeling positive to some of the possiblities of different paths taken.

[Sweet Sabrina]

Steal your tiara? That would imply that something you have is worth the taking. Just from that line, I can see that you believe you are some self appointed person of importance? Wow! I have always read your posts with a grain of salt but even my salt shaker is not that big.

[sissystephanie]

Freddy,you obviously were having a really bad day when you wrote this thread. And whether you admit it or not is is a confession type of post!! Your responses to some of the posts show quite clearly that it was a bad day for you!! This Thread is on a Forum, and on a Forum the members have a right to ask questions and talk about their feelings. Those feelings can be discussions, confessions, or whatever! The forum moderators are the only ones who can change those rights!! I would reccomend that you sit down by yourself and a long talk with yourself about your mood!! You obviously are really a nice person, but this thread does not indicate that!!

[Sarasometimes]

Originally Posted by Sarasometimes
I hate to have to say this but I think your post is all about how you FEEL which I think is a violation of what your own posting policy is??

There is no "policy." I hate to say (write) THIS, but how do you know it’s about how I feel, since you don’t really know me at all? I’m not stating that feelings are inadequate fodder for discussion, but when somebody vents their feelings for no good reason, with no actual discussion forthcoming, I just don’t see the point of it. I think I explained this thoroughly in the OP, if you care to read it… Fredirique's reply.

Your diatribe by virtue of its length is an emotional response to something here that bothers you. That is a writing about your feelings! You can certainly choose to deny this but i'm not the only one here who has made that observation. I don't need to know you to know your feelings! All i needed to do was read your post about how you feel about confessions yada yada yada.

For your edification a link to Websters definition
http://www.learnersdictionary.com/search/feeling

An excerp

3 a [count] : an opinion or belief
▪ What's your feeling on/about this subject? = What are your feelings on/about this subject? ▪ I can see that you have strong feelings about this subject. ▪ I get the feeling [=impression] that you think I don't know what I'm doing. ▪ My feeling is that we need to hire more people. ▪ She shared her feelings with us on a variety of subjects.

You can now choose to learn from this or not, but I'm feel I'm done with this topic and I suggest in the future you might simply skip the posts that bother you and you will feel better.

[Tina B.]

I for one am interested in how people feel about things, intellect has it's place, but people do what the do because of feelings. You come from a family that does not talk about things like that, to personal. Well a lot of us are trying to get away from those old Stoic ways, and caring about feelings, is part of that.
Tina B.

[Frédérique]

Freddy,you obviously were having a really bad day when you wrote this thread. And whether you admit it or not is is a confession type of post!! Your responses to some of the posts show quite clearly that it was a bad day for you!!

Yes, Stephanie, you have a point, but when I wrote the OP I did not see it as a confession of some sort, rather it was meant to be a plea for meaningful discussion. However, it’s true that I was not having the best of days when I submitted the piece. I was aware of the “tone” I was projecting, and I expected some yeas and nays, but I have read some original posts that are not constructed or designed to generate discussion. Rather than search for something WORTH discussing, I thought I would write about the difference between “discussion” and “confession,” a wordplay exercise, since both words end in “-ssion.” However, I didn’t expect to get a CONCUSSION* from the attempted discussion – one more of these, and I’ll have to hang up my skates…

*Thanks to Anne2345 for the concussive inspiration! :heehee:


Definition of Feeling enclosed (very educational)

There’s no need to provide links to definitions – I have a HUGE dictionary, I read it, and I know how to use it. If you don’t believe me, look at some of my other threads for verification…


Your diatribe by virtue of its length is an emotional response to something here that bothers you. That is a writing about your feelings! You can certainly choose to deny this but i'm not the only one here who has made that observation. I don't need to know you to know your feelings! All i needed to do was read your post about how you feel about confessions yada yada yada.

I was just attempting to put the words discussion and confession together, and use them as a springboard for collected observations, hopefully leading to some meaningful discussion. On a topic like this, where your initial reaction may depend on your personal relationship to this site, or your variation of crossdressing, you may agree or disagree with me. No matter how carefully I word (or state) the premise, someone is bound to be offended, but this is not my intention. You should view this exercise as a thinly veiled attempt to create some discussion, nothing more, nothing less, and not take it so seriously – since this is a “discussion forum,” shouldn’t we have some of that going on? I have nothing against feelings, or confessions, but I would prefer them in the form of discussions, and not merely expressions of emotion. Do you CARE that I’m crying right now? Would you like to discuss that? How can you possibly understand how I feel? If you’re at a loss for words, I know how YOU feel…

My piece is not a diatribe, since it is neither bitter nor abusive. You may want to consult your dictionary and discover the difference between diatribe and discourse. I see these things as casual essays, and you are free to NOT read them if you wish. You can safely dispense with the non-word "yada" as well...
:straightface:

[Presh GG]

I for one care that you're crying,I'm very sorry you feel bad, but you were the one responding to posters with venum.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow... And don't bother slinging arrows at me, I won't see them.

Presh GG

[Sarasometimes]

If the answer to any of these questions is a meek “no,” then I would suggest keeping a secret journal, and sticking it in the closet, right next to your femme finery.

"My piece is not a diatribe, since it is neither bitter nor abusive."

I assert above quote clearly comes from someone who is bitter and some here would say it is abusive.


"There’s no need to provide links to definitions – I have a HUGE dictionary, I read it, and I know how to use it. If you don’t believe me, look at some of my other threads for verification…"

I included the definition of "feelings" because your responses in this thread show a misunderstanding on your part, of its definition. Or is it a refusal on your part to admit to your misunderstanding? Could you smply explain how that definition doesn't apply to your OP?

It is true I don't know you beyond how you behave when posting here but based on this thread I don't have any interest in getting to know you better. Your proclaimed mastery of the English language is over rated since you can't see that the definitions of feelings and diatribe are present in your OP. If you didn't wish to write an OP which comes across as angry (anger is a feeling) you failed in your mission.

As for reading your other posts, I will use that time more wisely. This thread will be the last time I discuss any topics with you.


http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/yada-yada-yada

I know you don't fel happy to see links to definitions but I think you will like this one. Granted it isn't a Merriam Webster definition but it isn't A "non-word", it is slang.

[AllieSF]

Freddy, just because you write so elegantly and correctly, which I enjoy when I have the time and eyesight to read that smaller font in your long posts, does not mean that when someone shares something here in very few simple words it is not obvious that the OP is asking for feedback. Just like you, they (the OP's) can read what is written by others, digest it, reject it and/or use what they want as they deem appropriate.

You indicate that you want direct questions, or maybe just requests for input, in threads. I personally do not need them and try my best to read between the lines, words or lack thereof. I am here to read, learn, be entertained, share my experiences, advise when I think that I have something of value (and even when I don't), hear myself pontificate on whatever, and just enjoy myself while I am here. If I didn't enjoy myself, I wouldn't be here at least twice a day. If someone confesses, shares, tells a joke, posts a pic (I like pics), whatever, I then make my own personal decision to respond and participate in that specific thread or not. Over the time I have been here I have progressed from welcoming everyone new here to seldom doing that, from inserting me, myself and I in a lot of people's threads to sometimes doing that, from occasionally losing control to hopefully controlling that previous tendency, I have matured on this site like a lot of others have, in my own way.

One final thing. I do not understand this completely. Can you please state it another way? "In the case of the latter, I don’t think it’s possible – please don’t tell me how YOU feel, tell me how you FEEL instead (in the proper context, of course)..." Though you may not believe it, I can discuss someone's confession, with them or with others, or with everyone. I just don't understand your "feel" versus "FEEL" point.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

If you post a condescending OP that is filled with judgement and sloppy ideas..this is what you get...a sloppy, judgement filled thread..with bad punctuation!!

There are as many reasons to post as there are posters...more reasons actually... why do you even care?

one thing about being a crossdresser or transsexual is that it can be very lonely.. i love to respond with kindness to a post that requires no response.. sometimes just saying something, even just typing to the crowd is empowering or maybe provides immense relief....a simple "i hear you" has made my night when i was down...

[Frédérique]

If the answer to any of these questions is a meek “no,” then I would suggest keeping a secret journal, and sticking it in the closet, right next to your femme finery. "My piece is not a diatribe, since it is neither bitter nor abusive."
I assert above quote clearly comes from someone who is bitter and some here would say it is abusive.

I assert that maybe someday you should learn how to wrap “quote” tags around selected text, so that your posts will be easier to read and understand. I was merely trying to make a point about secrecy, with a nod to closeted crossdressers, who are abused on this site (from all sides) quite often. I’m TELLING you that my OP was not meant to be bitter or abusive – is there a better authority on the subject than the author?
:idontknow:


I included the definition of "feelings" because your responses in this thread show a misunderstanding on your part, of its definition. Or is it a refusal on your part to admit to your misunderstanding? Could you simply explain how that definition doesn't apply to your OP?

I will admit to a misunderstanding if the situation warrants it. In this case, a lengthy discussion about feelings was not my intention – you keep trying to derail the topic, and I keep trying to keep it on the tracks. Why don’t YOU admit to this ongoing misunderstanding? If you wish to discuss the definition of feelings, why not start your own thread on the subject?


As for reading your other posts, I will use that time more wisely. This thread will be the last time I discuss any topics with you.

I’m sorry you feel that way, but you should congratulate yourself for participating in an actual discussion. See? I’m still trying to keep the topic on the rails. If you wish to continue “having something against me,” then you should dis me via a PM, and not in the main body of the forum. BTW, I use the Urban Dictionary for slang terms, so please don’t assume I’m stupid…


You indicate that you want direct questions, or maybe just requests for input, in threads. I personally do not need them and try my best to read between the lines, words or lack thereof. I am here to read, learn, be entertained, share my experiences, advise when I think that I have something of value (and even when I don't), hear myself pontificate on whatever, and just enjoy myself while I am here. If I didn't enjoy myself, I wouldn't be here at least twice a day.

It was just a thought, just an idea, just an innocent thread topic that doesn’t really require this level of dissection. Some people dismiss the topic out of hand, and some decry my venomous "techniques" in no uncertain terms. Your relationship to the site reflects my own, and I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t enjoy the place – perhaps we should discuss “maturity” in a CD context…


One final thing. I do not understand this completely. Can you please state it another way? "In the case of the latter, I don’t think it’s possible – please don’t tell me how YOU feel, tell me how you FEEL instead (in the proper context, of course)..." Though you may not believe it, I can discuss someone's confession, with them or with others, or with everyone. I just don't understand your "feel" versus "FEEL" point.

Well, I originally wrote, “Please don’t tell me how YOU feel, tell me what you THINK instead*,” but I thought that might generate too much of an anti-intellectual backlash, so I made it “read” better (in my mind), but it doesn't hold up to close scrutiny. In the event, just trying to discuss discussion (for the umpteenth time) was enough of an irritant, it seems. I’m glad to hear that you can discuss a confession – thank you for reading so far along, and not getting tangled up in my “poor judgment and sloppy ideas.”

*WHAT? These things are composed, considered, and edited before being submitted? Yep, I’m very old-fashioned, my darlings…


one thing about being a crossdresser or transsexual is that it can be very lonely.. i love to respond with kindness to a post that requires no response.. sometimes just saying something, even just typing to the crowd is empowering or maybe provides immense relief....a simple "i hear you" has made my night when i was down...

I hear you, I love you, and I’m lonely, too… :sad:

[Sweet Sabrina]

I think maybe we all might be a little less lonely if we all stopped bickering over all of this. Everyone is entitled to post what they feel, what they think, or what they desire. If one only wants to post pictures and ask for feedback then let them. If they only want to ramble about a bad day or experience then let them. If they want to post about what kind of underwear we wear, then let them. We all pick and choose what we read here. If it doesn't appeal to us then we skip it. This "discussion" is another example of how we get caught up in the heat of the moment and either misinterpret or misunderstand the original intent. Instead of lashing out maybe we should simply have said " sorry you seem to be having a bad day, would you like to discuss it?". Maybe that might have saved a few people from getting offended It seems both sides have done some offending here. For my part, I will offer my apology. As much as we all seek and desire understanding, maybe we should have offered a little more here to begin with

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I didnt say poor judgement..
I said judgement. Meaning your judgement of others

When i say sloppy ideas, i mean it, you are engaging in the kind of posting that you are apparently criticizing. talk about an endless loop...If you want to be the court intellectual, go for it..
but please do better next time

If you start a thread with a sarcastic and unfriendly comment, what are you trying to do? Agitate? show off? provoke unfriendly responses?
Your continuing use of sarcasm is even more unfriendly and underscores your intentions, and overusing it makes it difficult to tell if your comments are sarcastic or not, which in turn makes it difficult to read ...

i don't get it..why do want to scare away people that are afraid of getting caught in the crosshairs of people that judge..

[LeaP]

I see a few topics in the original post.

The first reminds me of a conversation had with my father years ago. I had read Ecclesiastes and wondered aloud to him that there seemed no point in life - everything had been done, discussed. etc, over and over a billion times through the ages, that truly there was nothing new under the sun. His immediate response? "Well, YOU havent done it!". That put an end to that particular bit of existential angst. Truly, though, while repetition can be tiresome, much is new to many and I've also learned to be more patient with myself. When I am (patient), I often find subtleties I've missed, as I read more carefully, and I've learned the hard way that my understanding changes with time and experience besides. There are few things more vain than thinking you really know something.

On discussion, whether feeling or thinking, I'm in it for a mix of self-understanding (eg, on the nature of TG identity), intellectual curiosity, and support (regardless of direction). The last may sometimes fall least, alas - it seems so painfully MALE to so minimize, but there you have it. I detect a bit of that in your post - forgive me if I've misread.

On confessions and such: don't be so sure that things are always as they appear. I'm as likely to post a story to elicit a thoughtful intellectual response as I am a straightforward question.

Lea

[Sarasometimes]

Here is my recap:
You didn't mean to be sarcastic but your wrote a sarcastic OP.
You have an insatiable need to correct grammer and the vocabulary of others but see no need to acknowledge when you make such errors.
You fail to consider that when numerous posts interpert your writng one way, that they may be correct in how you have come acrossed.
By your own replies, you have admitted to the barbed nature of your OP and replies has derailed your intent.
I have not portrayed myself as an english major but even i have been able to on at least two occasions found errors in your such vast vocabulary diatribe and feelings. Granted one is a kinda (previous word, (kinda) put in to annoy you) big word but feelings?
I must say that you have evoked me to feel a bit sad for you. Consequently I will try to skip your posts aince i tend to tell it like it is and you don't seem to like that. I know yada yada yada...
To all those who prompted her thread, I like what you write!!!!!