Imho

[Deborah]

It comes up occasionally, but when someone assumes that most of you secretly want to be a female I have to agree. However, there are a couple of die hard oh hell no members.

[Cindy.]

It comes up occasionally, but when someone assumes that most of you secretly want to be a female I have to agree. However, there are a couple of die hard oh hell no members.

Why did you use "you" instead of "us"?

[Karren H]

I secretly want to be a die hard NHL hockey player!!

[sissystephanie]

I certainly would agree with Cindy's question!! I am one of those die hard members who says hell no!! I have absolutely no desire to ever be a female!! I do love to wear feminine clothing, but that is as far as that goes!! I was born a man, and will die a man!!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Deb, I'll get in on this firestorm early, I guess that I'm one of the diehard oh hell no members.
I think that I have the best of both worlds no changes needed here.
Here comes the Tar & Feathers.

Orchid

[terrianncd]

I'm on the fem side and I should have been a girl all along. I'd give up the winkie in a heartbeat!!!! lol

[Anne Elizabeth]

For me the die hard statements were denial of who I actually am. After a couple of years of honest and very deep soul searching, I wish I were born a female and wish I could become one and live the rest of my life as my true self.

[Elizabeth Ann]

It comes up occasionally, but when someone assumes sweeping generalizations based purely on opinion I have to disagree. However, there are a couple of die hard members who insist on rational thought.

[kimdl93]

Can I put myself in the I don't know column?

[Tina B.]

Not in the Hell no group, but you can put me down for the, no not really group. I've always said I would be happy, as a girl, or as a guy, it would be nice just to be one or the other, much less confusing for kids and spouses. I have no problem being a man, love the role actually. Love playing at being a girl, never could figure out why, but I do. But I've never been interested enough to consider giving up what I have in my male life.
Tina B.

[Vieja]

If I had my druthers I would druther be younger and reasonably shaped so I could wear that LBD that I so yearn for. Being a woman for a little while would be neat but but there is a down side.

Being raped is something you always have to worry about. And more often than not it will be by someone you know and trust.


Vieja

[Alberta_Pat]

I am one of those who is not on the line.

I love my male self. I like my female self.

In nature, generally the male is the more flamboyant sex. I would be happy if it were the same with people.

[Pythos]

I just want to be that mix of male and female that my love desires as she says she does. It is that which FINALLY attracted someone very special to me.

[Miss Maxine]

I wish I had a more feminine appearance, overall. Some of my masculine features are so prominent. If I looked a little softer, I'd feel a lot more comfortable. I like being able to choose freely between the two genders.

[Stephenie S]

It comes up occasionally, but when someone assumes that most of you secretly want to be a female I have to agree. However, there are a couple of die hard oh hell no members.

Yes it does come up from time to time. But I think you are overgeneralizing. I have been here quite a while, and there are far more than a couple of men on this forum. Remember, almost this entire forum is made of crossdressers, the vast majority of whom are MEN who want to wear women's clothing. Men. Men who want the freedom to wear the clothing of the opposite sex without social condemnation. That's all. But they still want to be men.

One gives up a lot to change your gender completely. A LOT. Most men, secure in their position of male privilege, are very reluctant to rock the gender boat. Bearing and raising children? No thanks. Pregnancy? No thanks. Monthly menses? No thanks. Lower pay for the same work? No thanks. Glass ceiling? No thanks. Constant harassment during day to day activities? No thanks. Being solely responsible for running the household after a grueling 8 hour day? No thanks. Being responsible for EVERY meal eaten in the home? No thanks. Having to get dressed (in a different outfit) nicely everyday? Well, maybe a CD can handle this part. That sounds like fun. But it's not, really, once you have to do it.

So, do I agree with you? No. No I do not. i think that the vast majority on this forum are men. Men who are generally happy being men. They just want the dressing part. The fun part. And it IS fun. No question. But most here don't want the downside of your equation.

Stephie

[Debra Russell]

Not in the Hell no group, but you can put me down for the, no not really group. I've always said I would be happy, as a girl, or as a guy, it would be nice just to be one or the other, much less confusing for kids and spouses. I have no problem being a man, love the role actually. Love playing at being a girl, never could figure out why, but I do. But I've never been interested enough to consider giving up what I have in my male life.
Tina B.

Yeah! me too exactly -- one or the other would be great but I enjoy both!!

[LeaP]

"i think that ... Men are generally happy being men. They just want the dressing part. "

I can't speak to what most male crossdressers are generally happy with. I don't even like the word "men". I know that I dislike being male - but don't want to be female exactly, either. The social role aspects (cooking, cleaning, work, etc.), plus or minus, don't even enter into my thinking. Put me in the TG category.

Lea

[Anne2345]

Long, long ago, I was convinced that I wanted to be a woman. It was a very difficult period of my life. Upon emerging from the difficulties my beliefs had caused, I thought that I no longer desired to be a woman, and that the act of crossdressing would be sufficient to meet my needs. Actually, I submitted a thread about this a couple of months ago. For many, many years, however, I thought that I was completely happy as a male crossdresser. In this regard, to some small degree, I am able to have the best of both worlds. Or at least the best of both worlds as I perceive it. Lately, though, I am not so sure. I have mixed and confused feelings over the issue. Although I am a male, and I shall remain and always be a male, the thought of being a female does appeal to me. This is not to say that I do not enjoy and love my male side. For the most part, I do. But there is something in the back of my mind that I am simply having a difficult time identifying that whispers otherwise. Ideally, the pharmaceutical companies would create a pill that would allow one to change back and forth between the two genders. Now that I would really be into! But alas, it just ain't so. Stupid lazy pharmaceutical companies!

[Mistybtm]

Can I put myself in the I don't know column?

I am with you i am not sure, I guess i am in the middle on this one , I guess that is why I am BI. ;)

[suchacutie]

I want both, and I really don't see anything wrong with that at all :)

[Joanna41]

I love my male self. I like my female self.


Perfectly said for me!

Joanna

[Kittyagain]

I dare say it depends on the day. I could go either way but definitely not in the "hell no" group.


Kitty

[Nesreen]

I like being a Lady with a Ding Dong!

I'm comfortable how I am and I love what I am. A Male and Female in one person and I enjoy both worlds!

[carhill2mn]

Oh, I think that there are more than "a couple of die hard oh hell no" members.

[Marie-Elise]

You can put me in the "Hell No!" camp. I love to dress as a woman but I have no desire to be one.

[nvlady]

If there were a magic pill that would change me into a woman I would not take it unless there was another magic pill that would change me back to a man.

[Theresa_W]

I secretly want to be a die hard NHL hockey player!!

Yeah! You go Karren!!! Get 'em Girl! LOL

[BRANDYJ]

I secretly want to be a die hard NHL hockey player!!

I went to a fight one time and a hockey game broke out.:devil:

I assume you are making your assumptions based on your wanting to be a woman and the way you see this thing called cross dressing. if tha's the case, don't think most of us are like you. We come in a wide spectrum of desires and sexuality and desires about our gender. Sure many of us "might" fantasize about being a woman and wonder what it would be like. But most of us are happy being anythign from dual gendered to just fetish crossdressers. For most of us, we don't want to be any more or less then we are. That happens to be males that cross dress to various degrees and are happy that we are exactly what we are. Most of us do not want to be women. Your assumption is way off.
So sign me up on the die hard "hell no" list

[Deborah]

Why did you use "you" instead of "us"?

...because i work night shift and had just got home when i posted. Tired while posting (TWP) should be against the law. ;)


I assume you are making your assumptions based on your wanting to be a woman and the way you see this thing called cross dressing. if tha's the case, don't think most of us are like you.

Yet most here would take a vagina in a heartbeat....

[Donna June]

If someone assumes I want to be female, they are right. I wish I was female in every aspect of my life, but I am still content with my life as is. As for oh hell no members, betweeners and those like me, we are all part of a unique group who should support one another. For the most part this group / website does and it is why I like it so much............I am one of those who would take a vagina in a heartbeat.

[Jill Devine]

It comes up occasionally, but when someone assumes sweeping generalizations based purely on opinion I have to disagree. However, there are a couple of die hard members who insist on rational thought.

What a stunning answer!

[BRANDYJ]

Yet most here would take a vagina in a heartbeat....

You must be reading the wrong posts if you think that is true. In fantasy...maybe. In reality no and hell no. That is at least for us transgendered girls that are not transexual. Some of us consider ourselves dual gendered and are quit happy with the plumbing we were born with. Now if you are talkoing about those that wish to transition, then you might be right. But for those of us that are comfortable being crossdressers, you are way off base in your statement.


If someone assumes I want to be female, they are right. I wish I was female in every aspect of my life, but I am still content with my life as is. As for oh hell no members, betweeners and those like me, we are all part of a unique group who should support one another. For the most part this group / website does and it is why I like it so much............I am one of those who would take a vagina in a heartbeat.

Great answer Donna June. You are right. We are all so different yet a part of this fantastic support group that accepts a wide spectrum of gender and sexuality differences.

[Jodi]

Put me in the "hell no" category.

Jodi

[sterling12]

Just to make sure, you did understand when you originated this thread that you were going to get A Lot of "push-back?" If you didn't, you are being very naive. Even if what you are writing is true, you simply can't apply generalities to individuals. That only causes friction and invites denial from just about every person who feels like "Hell,No," or is in denial about their own feelings.

So, as long as your secure about this.....cause' so far, they have been pretty mild with their responses. It could, and possibly will get worse. I don't want you to have hurt feelings. You probably thought you were just being "topical." But often, this particular subject cuts very close to the bone, and people get very defensive about it!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[ReineD]

It comes up occasionally, but when someone assumes that most of you secretly want to be a female I have to agree. However, there are a couple of die hard oh hell no members.

It's not so black and white. There is a huge gray area that cannot be ignored or dismissed.

Do you think that some people here assume that every crossdresser wants to be a female? This is not my understanding. Someone who genuinely wants to live as a female full time with real female body parts is a transsexual, not a crossdresser.

But, there are crossdressers who identify male and who enjoy feeling feminine some of the time, and this is why they dress even if the end goal is purely sexual. So, when people talk about gender identity issues, they can refer at one end of the spectrum to an occasional wish to feel feminine (even if this is expressed sexually), all the way to the other end of the spectrum where there is a deep desire to "be" a full time female such as a transsexual experiences. The TG spectrum is very wide with infinite points in between.

To those of you die hard, "Hell NOs", are you looking at it as an either/or situation? Is it your opinion that a man is either a full-on male who never ever has any desire to express femininity at all (a CD), ... OR ... a man who is a full-on or partial internal female, or if there is an "in-between", then it is closer to the TS side? If you are experiencing this black or white outlook, it makes sense you would say, "Hell NO". But, when you do consider the full spectrum including an "in-between" that is closer to your definition of a CD, then what is your answer?

To the "Hell Nos", why do you dress?

[Josie M]

I've often felt that, while I'm ok with being male, if I were born female, I'd have adapted to that as well.

[Beth Wilde]

Definitely a hell no from me. I like my guy time and my girl time too. If I could switch between as I pleased then I would, but as I can't I'll stay a TV. If I could change anything, I would love to be more convincing when dressed to make going out easier.

[oliviapril]

if i could buy the pills i would not buy generic
i would want to feel the "real" thing

[sara.s]

I secretly want to be a butch lesbian like Ellen Degeneres but sadly i am a guy.. :)

[Sherry Lynn]

What could be better than being able to be the gender that suits you at the time. I personally like being a man that can be a woman only when I choose to be.

[Valerie1973]

Secretly I've have wished I was born a girl, but it's just the whole dressing up thing for me. If it where possible to have interchangeable genitalia then I'd do it. How about a detachable penis. But after its all put away and Valerie is turned back to a pumpkin I'm very satisfied with being a man and have no desire otherwise.

[CarlaWestin]

Sometimes I think I've been a girl all along but, since I've got this penis I've gotten really, really good at being a guy. I just touch base with my normal female self every now and then to relax from all that crossdressing and male emulating.

[Intertwined]

WAIT??? What??? are you trying to tell me I am not a girl?


I secretly want to be a die hard NHL hockey player!!

Excuse me, I thought you were...!


I just want to be that mix of male and female that my love desires as she says she does. It is that which FINALLY attracted someone very special to me.

Well said Pythos, and congratualtions...

Seriously - - My body is Male, My spirit is Female, and I wouldn't change a thing... I am the perfect blend of both

[Lucy_Bella]

I see nothing wrong with the " Die Hard Members " I for one just so happen to be one. IMHO , I think we would all have a better understanding of each other once we understand that we are all different . If others who feel the desire to become female think everyone else must think the same is just plain wrong in that thinking. Yes we are all different and no other is above anyone with any kind of feelings or desires..

[Sophie86]

Yet most here would take a vagina in a heartbeat....

No, most of the people who responded to a thread asking whether (given a magic wish) they would want breasts or a vagina said they would take the vagina. The thread selected for people who were interested in having one or the other. It didn't offer other options, like wishing for a more androgynous body type. It therefore did not get responses from all members. I don't know what the exact ratio of TSs to CDs is on the site, but that one thread doesn't provide a factual basis for saying that 'most' of the members want a vagina.



To those of you die hard, "Hell NOs", are you looking at it as an either/or situation? Is it your opinion that a man is either a full-on male who never ever has any desire to express femininity at all (a CD), ... OR ... a man who is a full-on or partial internal female, or if there is an "in-between", then it is closer to the TS side? If you are experiencing this black or white outlook, it makes sense you would say, "Hell NO". But, when you do consider the full spectrum including an "in-between" that is closer to your definition of a CD, then what is your answer?

"Hell NO" sounds too defensive to me. I can say with flat certainty that I will never have the desire to transition, but I think expressing that certainty as "Hell NO" makes it sound like I think there's something wrong with the idea of being a woman. I don't. I do think that for me, attempting to transition would be a mistake. I would lose far more than I would gain. This late in my life, no amount of hormones or surgery could make me feel like I am really a woman. For me, the desire to present as a woman is a fantasy, not a psychological craving. I enjoy creating the illusion, but I'm okay with the idea that it can never be real. I'm not driven by the need for it to be real. I would rather use shapewear to create the illusion and keep all the good things I have in my life as a man, than lose all those things by trying to create what would ultimately just be a somewhat more convincing illusion.

[Noortje]

Why do you care? Why is it important to you that we all "admit" to secretly wanting to be women? Have you considered that the diversity in this group may be too great to apply such a broad generalisation?

My personal feeling on this and many related subjects changes from day to day, and from situation to situation. If one person cannot reliably be said to secretly want to be a woman at any given time, how could we ever apply such a rule to group of hundreds of unique individuals?

Why would we want to?

[Kaz]

I just want to be ME! Not sure who that is and I have spent 50+ years trying to figure it out and haven't got there yet. Yes I want to be a woman, but I also like being a guy...So I fantasise and have a lot of fun, but deep down... I am a proud father, husband and committed 'citiizen'. I love my work, though I wish I could balance the incomings and outgoings better... and that means work and money!

I would love to be a woman... but if I was, then I suspect that I would then want to be man as well... Maybe not, and I have wondered this over the years... should I have been a woman and am I TS... The deal is that I have been in this bloke's body for so long that I am kind of used to it...and all my interpersonal relations connect with this guy... so maybe that is who I am?

I no longer see me as male or female.... I am just me. I love everything that is woman, I hate most of what is male... but I do like to dive into a problem and kick ass when my wife and daughters feel that they can't! So I still like the knight in shining armour moments!

My grand-daughter (age 4 and love her to bits!) announced this summer, as she was fighting me with a stick from a tree (don't ask!)... "I am a fighting princess!"... I like that!

[ReineD]

"Hell NO" sounds too defensive to me. I can say with flat certainty that I will never have the desire to transition, but I think expressing that certainty as "Hell NO" makes it sound like I think there's something wrong with the idea of being a woman.

I seem to have misunderstood the OP's meaning. Most people in this thread take it when he said, "it is assumed most CDs secretly want to be female", that he meant transition, as if all CDs will eventually want to transition. We all know this is not true.

But I took it he was referring to using the term "transgender" (I'm reading way too many threads in here :p), where the debate is whether or not CDs have ANY identity issues, even if occasionally. This is why I went on and on about the black/white thinking vs. the middle ground, hence my suggestion that the people who say, "Hell NO" are not being honest with themselves when they say they do not present as a woman in order to feel feminine. lol

[Samantha_Smile]

It comes up occasionally, but when someone assumes that most of you secretly want to be a female I have to agree. However, there are a couple of die hard oh hell no members.

I just wouldn't like to have to choose to be one or the other.
I enjoy both my boy and girl sides.

[noeleena]

Hi.

We have over 100.000 people world wide at the last count & i know therell be many more..

do all men wont to dress in womens clothes or do all men wont to be women.. both dont apply to me, & how many are like my self intersexed.

I would dought very much if you asked every male this ? would you get an honist answer. not from many men theyed kill ya before they tell ya, so its too well hidden .
I can see it now 1 / 2 the male world turns out dressed as women...many of those who dress have made it plain no way dressing is great to be a woman & all of what that entails. no way its not going to happen. so here out of some 30 .000 people of that some 6.618 will they all tell all.

the number of people i refered to are those who dress trans & others with in our community's, i know theres many more ,

...noeleena...

[erickka]

I'll jump on the hell no bandwagon myself. I love to dress, but I would never want to go through all of the female bodily functions or childbirth. I have the utmost respect and admiration for GG's when it comes to this aspect of life.

[Miss Marshall]

I'm with Donna June on this one. If I could turn the clock back and If I could choose to be born as either a boy or a girl I would choose to be girl. Not that I hate being male I just identify more with many aspects of being a female than being male.

Then again, the life I think I would have had if I had been born female might not fit with the reality of what my life would have been like if I had been born a girl. It can all get very confusing.

Bottom line is I'm just glad to be alive.

[kimdl93]

But I took it he was referring to using the term "transgender" (I'm reading way too many threads in here :p), where the debate is whether or not CDs have ANY identity issues, even if occasionally. This is why I went on and on about the black/white thinking vs. the middle ground, hence my suggestion that the people who say, "Hell NO" are not being honest with themselves when they say they do not present as a woman in order to feel feminine. lol

As noted above, I admit being at least unsure about my gender identification, and honestly, having often thought that I might have preferred being a woman, I was taken aback by the adamant "Hell no" this question evoked.

Its OK...I understand that many others here feel no desire to be women, and never have. It's just that I can't relate to this, because its contrary to my personal experience. But I understand that its unwise to assume that I'm representative of all CDrs, just as its unwise to make sweeping generalizations about any group.

[Debra Russell]

I think if I could just hang this thing up in the basement untill it's needed I would be happy!

[Lucy_Bella]

I seem to have misunderstood the OP's meaning. Most people in this thread take it when he said, "it is assumed most CDs secretly want to be female", that he meant transition, as if all CDs will eventually want to transition. We all know this is not true.

But I took it he was referring to using the term "transgender" (I'm reading way too many threads in here :p), where the debate is whether or not CDs have ANY identity issues, even if occasionally. This is why I went on and on about the black/white thinking vs. the middle ground, hence my suggestion that the people who say, "Hell NO" are not being honest with themselves when they say they do not present as a woman in order to feel feminine. lol

Reine,
I feel although I can not answer for anyone else with "Transgender Issues" That I am being myself in a un-acceptable social enviroment ( that's why it's hidden for me ) Feeling Feminine and the desire to become Female are in the same ,yes I agree . I act no different other than appearance in my behavior from when I dress to when I am not presenting in Fem. Its a natural feeling that if surpressed can explode and spill over into depression. I need to dress to release the tension build up. Not dress to feed the desire to become a Female,if that was the case I would be a "Transsexual ".. I am not a Transsexual due to enjoying my male counterpart .
I wish I could answer honestly on what drives me to these urges other than the desire ,need and non stop nagging urge to present in Fem from time to time . So a stab at trying to answer the question could be nothing more than being ourselves, " Transgenders" have been around for many years and have expressed being Fem in many different ways depending on fads and eras, so if there hasn't been an answer yet to why many do this. I am sure I will not hold my breath any longer waiting on answers I would explode ..

[ReineD]

I act no different other than appearance in my behavior from when I dress to when I am not presenting in Fem.

Why would you act differently when dressed? :) You can have a desire to feel feminine without changing any of your behaviors? I mean, a presentation choice is just an appearance and it is not a behavior.



Its a natural feeling that if surpressed can explode and spill over into depression. I need to dress to release the tension build up. Not dress to feed the desire to become a Female

This makes sense to me, and I suspect most CDs in this forum feel the same way.

The idea that CDs wish to become a female just because they want to feel feminine is a part of the simplistic black & white thinking that dismisses the wide spectrum of transgender.



I wish I could answer honestly on what drives me to these urges other than the desire ,need and non stop nagging urge to present in Fem from time to time . So a stab at trying to answer the question could be nothing more than being ourselves

I don't know that anyone can determine why there is a drive to dress. I guess what matters is, the drive is there.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I act no different other than appearance in my behavior from when I dress to when I am not presenting in Fem. Its a natural feeling that if surpressed can explode and spill over into depression. I need to dress to release the tension build up. Not dress to feed the desire to become a Female,if that was the case I would be a "Transsexual ".. I am not a Transsexual due to enjoying my male counterpart .
.

It's interesting because transsexuals living in the wrong gender can dress to escape too...but find that there is no escape in just dressing...

the difference is both fundamental and subtle, because both crossdressers and transsexuals feel a mix of negative emotions when the dressing part is over...but its for totally different reasons.

i remember years ago i met a group of very nice folks that were all straight cd's, i was a newbie, and they took me right into their group at Renaissance meeting..i was shocked how they say with legs spread apart, talking in deep voices, making no attempt to be feminine..i thought at the time that was incredibly odd, because that behavior made no sense to me..they dressed for a totally different reason than me, i just didnt make the connection at the time..

[ReineD]

i remember years ago i met a group of very nice folks that were all straight cd's, i was a newbie, and they took me right into their group at Renaissance meeting..i was shocked how they say with legs spread apart, talking in deep voices, making no attempt to be feminine..i thought at the time that was incredibly odd, because that behavior made no sense to me..they dressed for a totally different reason than me, i just didnt make the connection at the time..

I stand to be corrected. :)

Some behavioral modifications are necessary, in order to not present obviously as a guy in a dress, such as softening of the voice, no scratching or adjusting genitals, no sitting spread-eagled like a guy when wearing a skirt, etc. :p

But the innate person doesn't change .. the interests, the topics of conversation, the choices in restaurants, the taste in music, personality traits, etc. Although I've seen new CDs behaving overly girly, almost like a caricature of a woman in terms of the walk, too much giggling and batting eyelashes or playing with hair, limiting the conversation to makeup and fashion, etc, I think this is just newbie learning behavior and hopefully in time it abates.

[*Vanessa*]

My I repeat


no sitting spread-eagled like a guy when wearing a skirt, :p

:lol2:

[mercterr]

I am a die hard "Hell No". I think a big part of the thrill I get from dressing comes from the fact that I am not suppose to be wearing these things. I enjoy my male self and while I love women, I don't understand them (how they think, what drives them) and I don't wish to experience the world as one. I am wired like a guy. I get my little world am I am happy to go on this way. Of course I am also in the "I really wish I could stop this behavior, it's humiliating and distracting to my life" camp. I think a lot of the members here who are more comfortable with their femininity are more at peace with their cross dressing than I am.

[sometimes_miss]

Part of me will alway want to be the girl I thought I was going to be when I reached puberty. I really, really thought that because I had been good, that god was going to 'fix' me. When I went almost all the way through high school without going through puberty, I though god was punishing me. By the time I figured it all out, it was too late. There are times when I still very much want to be a girl; I want the life I thought I was going to have. But it's way past gone; there's no chance of me ever being the pretty girl I wanted so very much to be. To become a homely middle aged woman, is really not going to be any better than being a homely middle aged man. I'd have little or no chance of finding a romantic partner either way. So, why go through all the effort; all the pain; the surgery; the daily dilation that remindes me I will never have sex with anyone again; At least being a guy, a very big guy, people tend to avoid pissing me off.

[ReineD]

Part of me will alway want to be the girl I thought I was going to be when I reached puberty. I really, really thought that because I had been good, that god was going to 'fix' me.

Awww, sometimes_miss ... :sad:

You remind me of one of my sons, when he was four years old. My son wanted to be able to fly in the worst way. Unbeknownst to me, his dad told him that if he was very good, God would grow him wings. I knew something was up when I noticed him being so very good all of a sudden; he was usually a hellion on wheels. I could see him straining with effort not to fight with his brother, and eating everything on his plate that he didn't like. I couldn't figure out what had come over him until one night I saw him turn in front of the mirror and trying to look at his back. Then he asked me, "Are they growing yet?" He had such hope in his eyes! When I questioned him he told me what his dad had said and my heart broke. I was quite angry with my husband and I told him to tell my son the truth. The next day he did, and my son was just sooo heart broken. He cried and cried. This is when he learned a valuable life lesson ... adults lie to you.

Anyway, your story reminds me of my son's heartbreak and I just feel so bad for you .. for what you went through and are still going through, a disappointment that never is forgotten. :hugs:

[Sophie86]

I seem to have misunderstood the OP's meaning. Most people in this thread take it when he said, "it is assumed most CDs secretly want to be female", that he meant transition, as if all CDs will eventually want to transition. We all know this is not true.

But I took it he was referring to using the term "transgender" (I'm reading way too many threads in here :p), where the debate is whether or not CDs have ANY identity issues, even if occasionally. This is why I went on and on about the black/white thinking vs. the middle ground, hence my suggestion that the people who say, "Hell NO" are not being honest with themselves when they say they do not present as a woman in order to feel feminine. lol

If I had to give a one-sentence response to why I dress, it would be "In order to feel feminine." The answer becomes more complicated when you start to unpack what I mean by feminine, but that's the essence of it. I think my concept of femininity and the way that I enjoy it is that of someone who is on the outside looking in.... through a rose-tinted window. If a genie popped out of a bottle and offered to set me back at the beginning of my life and let me live it over as a woman, I would say no. I like my fantasy, and I think making it real would spoil it.