Outed By a Pair of Shoes: The Saga of How I Finally came Out to My Daughter

[Piora]

As many of you are aware, I am closeted. My daughter lives with me, and so I had to be very careful of what I left lying around, and especially anything that came to my residence that might give away the fact that I crossdress.

Some may also have read the thread that I posted in the Shopping Forum about my placing an order for some shoes, and being told by the vendor later that, no - it is not shipped by Canada Post, it is being sent by courier. In that thread, I debated how I could avoid having her being the one to receive the shoes, by having them be held at the local depot so that I could pick them up. A few suggestions were made about what I could do about the situation, when the shoes did arrive.

Well, as it turns out, the decision was made for me since (a) my daughter was the one to receive my shoe package and (b) what was in the box was described in perfect detail on the outside: the kind of shoe, that they were women's, and the size. My daughter phoned me at work to ask me about something else, and said, "Some shoes arrived for you. Um.....they're women's. They're...uh....heels. Is there something we need to talk about?" :eek: I told her that yes we would indeed talk about it when I came home, and she maintained her usual happy manner, and was not upset or anything negative. And of course I....and all of YOU....know perfectly well that 2 plus 2 does indeed make 4 and yes, a bear DOES *!@# in the woods! :straightface: So obviously....yes, she knew.

So tonight when I got home, we talked about all of it for a couple of hours, and I just told her everything. How long I had been dressing, how no one else knew, what I liked to wear and my fears about how I thought it might alienate us, or cause a rift between us. She and I are extremely close, and I wasn't sure about how she might look at the whole thing. She was absolutely wonderful and supportive in every way, and I was so pleased it had gone so well. I had dreamed of it being that way when I imagined telling her in my mind. We hugged at the end of it all, and I am feeling very good about the whole thing and finally not having to hide anything anymore.

Once she found out what everything was all about, the fact that I do this only in private and wasn't interested in being dressed around her, or going out that way, then she was perfectly comfortable with it. It was SUCH a huge relief to finally have it known to someone else, after all these years.

Oh....and the shoes? After all that? A PERFECT fit! Thanks for reading, everyone.

[AllieSF]

A happy ending to a potential tragic tale. I will definitely be looking for the sequel when it comes out. Thanks for sharing.

[Jenny Beth]

That turned out well didn't it.:D

[Danni Renee]

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

I can only hope when I tell my daughters they will be as understanding.

Danni

[Evie08]

I waited till my daughters were grown - 26 & 30. They wanted to go to the Seattle Pride Parade this year. So I went with them. During the parade I commented on all the people I knew in the parade. After the parade, I explained how I knew so many. That we frequent the same clubs. Then I shared some of my photos. Asked if they knew who was in the photos - which they didn't. Then I said - that's your dad. Their response... "That's so cool". Now they are even friends on Evie's Facebook page. What a relief. No more hiding things at home when they visit.

[Wendae]

What a wonderful out come! Don't think mine would be so understanding but then they are adults in their 40's.

[Marissa]

Yes, its great that she was understanding..in all aspects, to include your privacy to not flaunt it around her :) but I'm sure she would be okay with and even want to assist when you need it.

My ex (wife at the time but pending divorce) decided to share my desires with my two daughters (ages 17/24 at the time but living with us) to draw a bad view of me on them. It didn't work, as I decided to have 'the talk' with them after the big D. One was very open to it and the other is okay but limits seeing. Oldest will help with makeup and taking pics if I need it. And I do respect the younger on not seeing it if preventable.

Still, the best feeling is a mutual understanding of our desires. So good on you for being outed :)

[Staci G]

That is a wonderful thing, I am so happy for you.

[Sara Jessica]

Very nice story just goes to show that sometimes the best laid plans...well, you know.

I'm very curious though, your "2+2=4" comment suggests she kind of knew what was up already. Can you expand on this? I think that backstory will be of help to those of us who have children who we think are unaware of this TG thing.

[DeniseNJ]

I think the saga will continue:) She will wonder and think about dad and how he looks dressed up. You will start to feel a little more comfortable if you leave some heels in the closet or lipstick in the medicine cabinet. Hey you might even start going around with polish on your toes. It is a matter of time shen she is going to want to see you dressed and deep down inside I feel it would be like a dream come true for you.. Good luck

[Cynthia Anne]

I beleive I'll agree with Denise on this! it's only a matter of time! Great story! Thanks for sharing! Hugs!

[sissystephanie]

I am very glad it turned out so well for you!! My 2 children did not learn that I was a CD'er until last year, when my daughter was in her 50's and my son was almost 50. They both took it very well and don't care if I dress as long as I don't do it around them!! Maybe one of these days you will get the courage to go out in public in your pretty clothes!!

[Alice B]

An excellent result. Less stress for you and most likely more freedom. I'm sure this story will continue and look forward to later reports.

[Natasha's Gal]

That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!
~Lisa

[TxKimberly]

Phew - it's a joy to read about a happy ending! Good for you !

[Kathi Lake]

I'm with Sara. Although I suck at math (except figuring our sale discounts), I also wonder just what some of the '2s' were in the whole 2 + 2 equation.

Did you talk about it? Did you mention 'a friend' that had this hobby? Were there telltale signs around the house, or quick scurrying into a room when she came in suddenly? I have two out of three that know for sure, but my 16 year-old son? Haven't the faintest idea.

Glad the shoes fit, by the way.

:)

Kathi

[Kittyagain]

That is indeed a wonderfully, warm story. I know a relief to you.

Might I suggest you be careful of her boundaries with her friends of who knows and who does not.. A young person's world can be so fragile assuming she is adolescent. if she is an adult then no problem.

Kitty

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Piora, It's aways great to hear a story with a happy ending.

Orchid

[Piora]

Thanks, everyone for the kind words and thoughts.


I'm with Sara. Although I suck at math (except figuring our sale discounts), I also wonder just what some of the '2s' were in the whole 2 + 2 equation.

Did you talk about it? Did you mention 'a friend' that had this hobby? Were there telltale signs around the house, or quick scurrying into a room when she came in suddenly? I have two out of three that know for sure, but my 16 year-old son? Haven't the faintest idea.
No, not really. Never did the "friend" thing. I thought about that, but decided against it. About 8 months ago, I started shaving my legs. When summer came and I was wearing shorts, she remarked to me one day, "are you shaving your legs? You have no hair on them." I mumbled some excuse about "yes, I did because I don't like having hairy legs" and she seemed fine with that answer. But to answer your other question - since I never did it outside of my bedroom - even when she was out of the apartment - I never had to worry about being discovered. Receiving my shoes was something that I couldn't explain away, so I didn't even make an attempt. Really glad I did it that way now.

Are your two other children close with your 16-year old son? Chances are, if they're older siblings, they may already have talked to him about it. I tend to think that females (children, spouses, sisters, wives) are much better at picking up those feminine traits and little "give-aways" that their male counterparts wouldn't have the faintest clue about.


Glad the shoes fit, by the way.
Thanks. Me too. Also, you may or may not know - these are the first pair of women's shoes that I have ever owned in all the years I have been dressing, and it was a real thrill to actually be standing in a pair of high heels. It just felt so right - as if this is something that I should have done a long, long time ago. I only guessed at my size, and I was so pleased that I had got it bang on. It's like they were custom made for me. And they certainly won't be the last pair, now that I have got my taste of feminine footwear!


That is indeed a wonderfully, warm story. I know a relief to you.
Thanks....yes, it really is a relief. I don't have to worry anymore about anything that I would order online. Let it come by courier, I don't care!!! LoL!


Might I suggest you be careful of her boundaries with her friends of who knows and who does not.. A young person's world can be so fragile assuming she is adolescent. if she is an adult then no problem.
Certainly good advice, but she is 24 and is completely trustworthy. I know that she will tell no one else. She knows that I don't want anyone else to ever find out.

[Kathi Lake]

Are your two other children close with your 16-year old son? Chances are, if they're older siblings, they may already have talked to him about it.It's possible, but I'm not sure. Knowing him, I'm sure thnat by now he would have tried to use it or hold it against me. He's kind of surly little twit. :)

My oldest son found out the hard way (you can see what happened here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?117371-Oh-Crap!) and here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?118787-Oh-Crap-The-Finale)), and my daughter (11) kinda always knew. Must've been that shopping trip to DSW where I taught her how to walk in heels. :)

Kathi

[siennacd]

That is great to hear. I hope you will have an even stonger bond with her now.