consuling male vs female help ?

[Katrina Black]

My wife and i are ready for consuling .. we are going to each get separate consulars first .. I know this is a personal decession, im leaning towards a female therapist ...any thoughts male vs female therapists for crossdressing issues any preferances??? we both know this is not something to cure ,more just how to deal with crossdressing in a marriage.

[giuseppina]

The most important things are that the therapist is qualified, licensed to provide therapy, and not try to pass judgment. If that happens, the best thing is to cancel all future appointments and break contact with the "therapist".

Nice to have is previous experience in treating gender issues without resorting to the dreaded and discredited reparative therapy.

You may not get someone you can work with the first time. If that happens, try someone else.

Counselling generally works well if you want it to work. If you can't accept the therapist's opinion, it will fail.

Good luck.

[Katrina Black]

just to expand ,, which one would you be more comfortable expressing crossdresser issues with?? being they were both equaly qualified..

[AllieSF]

I agree that finding someone qualified as a gender therapist who has the correct experience will help you both. Do a search on urnotalone.com for members close to you and as part of the results will be local contacts at support centers. Then I would call one of them for recommendations. Being in the Bay area there should be a lot of qualified people. Good luck.

[Stephenie S]

As others have said already, male or female, it matters not. What DOES matter is their expertise in treating gender confusion and crossdressing. If you don't hit it off, find another therapist. There is no rule that says you have to stay with a therapist you don't like.

[ReineD]

just to expand ,, which one would you be more comfortable expressing crossdresser issues with?? being they were both equaly qualified..

Katrina .. I think this all depends on the therapists and their level of knowledge and empathy. You might run into a male therapist who IS TG, or you could have a female who has some bias. Or vice versa.

If you're trying to decide, you should make yourself a short list of 2 men and 2 women, and interview them all first, to see which one you feel most comfortable with? I know this seems like a lot of work but I think it is worthwhile if you're choosing someone that you'll be working with for awhile. Talk to them and let your gut instincts guide you.

[Freo_kerry]

I have had both male and female, both highly qualified and recommended. But that is where it stopped being even, the female had real life experience in the TG / TS field and was able to understand me - the real me inside without using platitudes such as "lets work on getting you better" when all along I needed someone to explain the "Me" that I saw in the mirror and in my head.
Finally it was my wife that could not handle me going for counselling with an attractive female albeit one that was happily married and not interested in anything unprofessional.

Kerry - still alive after thousands of dollars of therapy.