High Anxiety

[Diana Bain]

High anxiety After two twilight walks it was time to hit the departments store's as Diana. With encouragement from my wife and the great advice I'd received here I said to myself I can do this (not so fast bucky a little voice in my head said.) Nerves I said...everything will be fine, but looking for away out I told my wife "I'll get ready but if its not right I'm not going." Well to my surprise everything went right...I don't think I could have done the makeup any better...shoes, jeans and top looked good and my wife said I looked great. I looked at her and said "let's do this before I change my mind." Here I was going out in the afternoon, years of thinking what this would be like...months of work...learning to walk in heels....learning female mannerisms...practicing makeup...all the things to try and pass the best I could. I grabbed my purse and wife and out the door we went. Walking down 3 flights of stairs in heels (2 3/4") not to bad, no neighbors in sight and then my heels hit the asphalt and I felt I'd never walked in heels before, it was hard and unforgiving not like the soft carpet I'd practiced on. We made it to the car and off we went. Now I'm thinking to myself don't do anything dumb while your driving( past three police cars on a 3 mile drive.) Now I'm in the parking lot...time to walk into the department store...I looked at my wife and said "I'm really nervous, this is not quite what I expected", she reassured me everything would be ok and through to doors we went. Now my anxiety level is rising, I felt like everyone was looking at me (but they weren't)...a quick look in the mirror for confidence helped...my walking felt fine, I just couldn't get over the feeling everyone was looking at me. My wife later told me she was watching for reactions from the people I passed...some glanced and smiled...most were busy shopping. We looked at clothes together for about an hour but I didn't enjoy the experience I needed the sanctuary of home. Returning home was uneventful. My wife and I talked about my trip and she thought I did great (though she said she did see how nervous I was.) As I thought about it all my fears were self imposed...did people care, probably not. Next weekend I'll try again...

[Karren H]

Yeah!!! A successful outing is one you survive!! And learn. Repetition allows you to train yourself to not worry about passing or being nervous. After all as you found out.. No one else cares!! So get back out there and have fun and smile!! Its what happy girls do best! :)

[Vieja]

It sounds like a great accomplishment. I have all of the equipment but lack the determination (Guts) to try it although from what I have read on the forum nobody notices or cares.

Vieja

[Intertwined]

Congratulations on a successful outing, just remember, you have just as much right to be in that store as anyone else, and as far as the store is concerned, you money is just as green as anyone elses.

[Nesreen]

Congratulations Diana!

I also agree that most of your fears (if not all) are self imposed!!

I would attempt to get out en-femme but here in Kuwait I would get arrested, humiliated, violated, persecuted and end up being a community's out cast. Still debating whether it's worth all these possible disasters... HAH! :heehee:

[kimdl93]

Sounds like everything went pretty well. I'm curious, what did you expect as you approached the mall?

[Staci G]

I am thrilled for you, I know it is a very nervous experience but well worth it. The only bad experience I have ever had were in malls, kids hanging out are a**holes. Department stores are great, strip malls have always been my friend. Next week will be easier and the next will be even better etc... Enjoy and thank your wife for all of us and be happy in your skin. XOXOXOXOXO

[Debra Russell]

After your done----- ain't no biggy - was fun and deserves a do-over and more fun...........Debra

[SusanCACD]

Yeah!!!! I am so happy for you!!! I wish I had the nerve, or the....well, you know,,,
Susan

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Diana, Everybody is so wrapped up in their own little world that they couldn't care less about you.

Orchid

[Diana Bain]

Orchid...I'll take that... as a compliment, thank you

[carhill2mn]

I understand being a bit nervous about going out in public but having your wife assist you and encourage you would be a dream come true for many of us.

[Nikki A.]

You had your wife with you for support and no one tarred and feathered you. I consider that a great outting.
Seriously, it does get easier the more you do it. The stores want your money, and most people don't even really notice. I go out for brunch after church with a few TG friends. Every time I look around for reactions, but with in a few minutes I really don't care and don't bother, the waitresses are all very friendly and some even sit with us for a minute or two to chat. I've gone shopping alone and have found most SAs are very willing to help, if asked (funny thing even more so when I'm dressed).

[Sophie86]

That was very brave, Diana. Congrats! :)

[Cynthia Anne]

Hey, the hard one is out of the way! Great job! It wont be long now when you are 'dressed' waiting in the car, blowing the horn to get your wife to hurry up so you can go shopping! Hugs!

[PretzelGirl]

Very nice Diana! Now that the first one is out of the way, it just gets easier. And you can also safely ignore those other people that aren't talking to you. They are there whether you look or not. Save the looks for the ones that want to talk with you (usually SAs).

[marlaNYC]

soon you will look back and wonder just why you were so nervous! you're very fortunate to have such a supportive wife and i know you'll take each ensuing trip with a little more ease and enjoyment