Why do some girls loose the urge?

[suzy1]

I am a simple soul. I love being Suzy. I always have.
So when I read of some girls losing the urge to dress I am genuinely puzzled?

Tell me why that happens to some of you. Suzy is always a part of me and will be till the day I die. I just know it.


SUZY

[NicoleScott]

Suzy, many women also lose the urge to get pretty. Why is that?

[Staci G]

I have always associated my urge to purge and quit with guilt. I have put that guilt on myself and when the urge came back to dress this time I said NO I am not stopping and giving up what I love to do. I dealt with the guilt and I let the crossdressing win out. I told many friends and family of my true self and said it is who I am and I wil be if you can't accept it then I guess we have nothing more to say. I think many that lose the urge simply quit to appease someone else, be it family or friend and like me let the guilt win out.

[Karren H]

I categorize mine into 3 reasons... #1 Medical... Didn't dress for 10 years due to a slow growing tumor that messed up my hormones. #2 Male Laziness.. Pretty self explanatory. And #3 Too much of a good thing... I can get burnt out after days enfemme 24/7... A bit of #2 is in #3! Lol.

[Wendy_Marie]

Suzy I don't think the answer is a simple one and strays over into that old debate over labeling and who is a crossdresser and who is TG etc....If my memory from biology class serves me correctly here....?

For some the so called "Pink Fog"could be explained medically as the bodies production of endorphins which create that eurporic feeling associated with some persons desire for dressing and experiencing the pleasure it brings to them....The act of dressing excites the hippocampus and pituatary glands to release and flood the brain with endorphins at times of excitement...sort of a Fight or flight response only at a different level... but even when medically induced the body can only produce these endorphines at an elevated rate for a specific amount of time before the glands which secrete them tire and are themselves depleted....

Then a certain rebound effect goes into play...the Higher the High was...the lower the Low is. this is one reason why certain illicit drugs such as Heroin, Methamphetamine and Cocaine are so highly addictive...they produce such a highly concentrated amount of endorphines which flood the brain...

So once said person has gone through the processes and reached a certain point the body shuts off production of this chemical and the Fog Lifts and the blues set in....that is until rested and recouped and ready for the next time.

[DebbieL]

It takes quite a bit of planning, effort, and expense to be a beautiful woman, whether you're actually a GG or a CD or a TS.

If you have to spend 2-3 hours getting ready each time you want to go out, including leg hair removal, face hair removal, manicure, pedicure, make-up, shape-wear, hosiery, corsetry, and hair/wig styling, you start to think twice about doing it for a trip to the grocery store, or some other casual event.

In addition, many CDs begin to realize that they can wear a LOT of their favorite feminine clothing without all that extra work. When you're an adult in the 21st century, people are much less likely to be rude and abusive just because you have nail polish, earrings, or your pants button right over left. You can even find women's shoes that will be accepted when you wear them as a man. I found a pair of wingtips with 2 inch heels, that I wore to church yesterday, and I even got compliments on the shoes from a couple of women.

When I got a manicure, I got the gels, but it turned out to be opaque and a bit more pink than I expected. Someone did notice and asked me about it, and I let them know I was transgendered, and this was one of my little ways of letting the inside out. From that point on it has been a non-issue for anybody.

The good thing is that I don't have to do the entire 3 hour ritual to be able to wear my hair longer, wear my earrings, keep my eyebrows shaped, and wear fingernail polish.

The more honest I am about it, the more accepting others are. They often have the usual questions, but when I answer them patiently and cheerfully, they quickly become comfortable and accepting.

[LeaP]

"Urge" is exactly the right word. Dressing always had a lot of urgency throughout my life - followed by guilt and purging. Since I've been out with my wife, the urgency is gone. Not the desire, in fact I dress more frequently than ever. So for me the urge was a symptom of repression, until I couldn't hold it back anymore. After I lost the urgency, what remained was what I know simply (now there's a loaded word) as a fundamental TG identity.

Lea

[Lynn Marie]

Personally I feel that the stress and strain of living two different lives often just gets the best of us and we pick one life or the other just to simplify things.

It's funny when you think about it, but en femme I can fully expose everything about both lives I live, but in drab I must hide all the in drag accoutrements attitudes and mannerisms!

So which life would you chose? I'm thinking it's way easier psychologically en femme, but easier socially to stick with being a boy.

[Inna]

I suspect like anything in life it grows and lessens in intensity given circumstances. I spoke about dressing for just pure fun of dressing as GGs sometimes do with my beloved sis. And she said just the same, for most of the time she throws jeans and a T and goes on about her day but then sometimes she feels like bit of sprucing up is in order.

[Miss Maxine]

I accept that fact that one inevitable day, I will lose the urge to crossdress. I will also stop paying taxes, on that day.

[suzy1]

Thanks girls, some interesting replies already.

I thought guilt would be one reason and that’s understandable.
But another thing that’s coming out here is that, as we all know there are many reasons why we are crossdressers. So there must be many deferent reasons why some loose the urge.
But I find it an interesting subject.
It also makes me just a little bit sad when I here of someone loosing the urge and the pleasure and satisfaction that comes with our lifestyle.


SUZY

Maxine. I hope you don’t mind me disagreeing with you but I don’t think loosing the urge one day is inevitable for you or anyone here.

[Miss Maxine]

Maxine. I hope you don’t mind me disagreeing with you but I don’t think loosing the urge one day is inevitable for you or anyone here.

I was being facetious. A subtle reference to the two inevitabilities in life: death and taxes. ^_^

[kimdl93]

For me, there have been ebbs, times when I dressed less often, but as the years have gone by, these episodes have grown less frequent. Maybe its because I have the liberty to dress every day and its become my routine. For me, routine equates with normal, but not boring.

[Kate Simmons]

This is one reason I change my name and looks so often. I basically evole past the previous venue to go on the bigger and better things. Sometimes a hiatus of dressing is involved as I explore and experiment as part of the new venture.It's basically more about who I am as a person rather than looks or clothing.:battingeyelashes::)

[Aprilrain]

Personally I feel that the stress and strain of living two different lives often just gets the best of us and we pick one life or the other just to simplify things.

It's funny when you think about it, but en femme I can fully expose everything about both lives I live, but in drab I must hide all the in drag accoutrements attitudes and mannerisms!

So which life would you chose? I'm thinking it's way easier psychologically en femme, but easier socially to stick with being a boy.

I like this assessment. Here Here! I would say though that for me socially being a girl is way easier, being a boy sucks!

[Kittyagain]

Dressing is very libido driven to some. Falling libido means less dressing.

Children growing old enough to know what might be going on not only slow dressing but slows intimate moments between couples.

Sex and cross dressing go hand in hand. No pun intended.

Then there are those of us who will never loose the urge like me.

Kitty

[suzy1]

Just popping back here to say I never loose the urge. And it’s not just linked to libido. It’s who I am. A part of me really is Suzy.
So I asked the question because loosing the urge is unknown to me.

[Sophie86]

Tell me why that happens to some of you.

The first time it happened was a combination of two things: First, I had hit a wall with how far I was willing to go in order to dress up. I couldn't shave, maintain my own wardrobe, or purchase a wig or shapewear, because I was in the closet with my wife at the time. Without any of that stuff, I just didn't like the way I looked dressed. There was no easy way to hide the fact that I was a man, but I was okay with that. I had reached a place where I was proud of my masculinity.

Second, this was around the same time that just the thrill of putting on the clothes wasn't really enough anymore. I would dress up, look at myself in the mirror, shrug, and take it all off. I had reached the conclusion that one way of getting off was just as good as another, so getting all dressed up just for that was pointless. If that's all it was for, then there were easier ways.

When I came back to dressing up, it was during a period of sexual experimentation that my wife and I were going through. For the first time in our marriage, she was open to new ideas, so I came out to her about being a crossdresser. She accepted it easily, and we played around with it a little. I was still in the same place as far as feeling like I couldn't present convincingly, but I did try shaving my body for the first time. Had things continued, I might have made more progress in my presentation then, but my wife and I hit a rough patch and I set the dressing aside while we worked on our marriage. The problems we were having weren't related to my crossdressing, but they were serious enough that crossdressing went to the backburner.

In neither of those periods did I have to fight any urges. There were no urges to fight.

[DameErrant]

For those of us for whom CDing is linked in whole or in part to sexual desire, the falling levels of testosterone as we age can reduce the desire to dress. Testosterone is the horomone of desire in both sexes. If you are worried about your desire to CD falling, get your T-levels checked and maybe have some supplements prescribed, if your doctor agress.

Prolonged stress can reduce T-levels as well, and who of us these days doesn't experience that!? Prayer, Meditation and Tai Chi help me manage stress, along with B vitamin supplements.

For those of us you have discovered that there is more to CDing than sex, we may slow down but we never stop, as this is more about who we are than what we do.

[AshleyCDFL]

I consider crossdressing a hobby and seem to cycle through my many hobbies. I can go months without playing guitar and then sometimes I play everyday, crossdressing is pretty similar as are all my various hobbies. I also agree with the male laziness factor too, being a woman sure is a lot of work!

[*Vanessa*]

IMHO - I think the answer lines in the degree of our self-acceptance of our female selves together with an element of how we react to our outside environment. I totally agree with the lazy replies so a point and that is, even females are lazy at dressing from time to time, so that is not particular to cross-dressers.

Even such, to the element of cross-dresser, in my mind that would only refer only to the ‘hell-no’ crowd. The more one is transitioned (both figurative and literally) the more it is just part of your day-to-day experience.

'Dano really :)
v.

[Diana Bain]

A part of me really is Suzy.

I agree with you Suzy...Diana is a part of me...she's not an urge...not someone I'm willing to give up...call her my "life partner."

[NicoleScott]

Maxine. I hope you don't mind me disagreeing with you but I don't think loosing the urge one day is inevitable for you or anyone here.

Maxine, Suzy was wearing her blonde wig when she read your post (#10).

[Carmen]

Many years ago I was indirectly outed, not by my doing but by other people, in a public setting, as if they were doing me a favor and setting my life in order.
It was like a warning shot..."stop or you will be totally exposed..." kind of thing. So I stopped dressing and purged everything, out of fear and guilt.
I tried to continue with my 'normal' life as EVERYONE ELSE saw how my life should be, (but no one asked me how I wanted to run my life).
So several years passed, I continued being hubby and daddy and the professional that I am. One day I realised that I was living under everyone else's ideals.
I realised that I was living according to how other people felt I should live...and look. I remember one wife told my wife that I needed a haircut. Now her husband always had his hairstyle like a marine jarhead cut. I was in the military and I vowed never to have my hair that short again!
People wanted me to be here and there, do this and that, I was obligated to cancel many of my favorite pastimes to be at those meetings, which turned out to be very routine, empty and boring to me. With no end in sight.
We were rushing home from vacation be be at some gathering, and if we didn't show up the phone calls would come in, "We missed you...where were you...we needed you to be there...blah blah blah..."
One fine day my wife told me that I needed to be back from a gig on time (musician) to play at this other social event on time and I absolutely flipped out!
"I cannot be in two places at the same time!!! Tell them to find someone elase as we will not be there!!!
I totally pulled my family out of that social group and set us free from everyone else and their herd mentality.
When the calls started coming in I explained to them that we won't be there, you will get along fine without us, and it's not the end of the world, find someone else.
I think my wife saw my anger of being oppressed and directed for so long, that she stepped aside and allowed me to lead us out of bondage. (She was part of that also). No we didn't completely drop out of society, we just started living for ourselves.

You wonder as to the reason for this story? I WAS NOT LIVING MY OWN LIFE! Most of my free time was spent for other peoples ideals.
All the while I would watch those GG's and their nice looks and fashions and the way they carried themselves, and I/Linsey was missing out!
Inside I wanted to scream out for release, "Please let me go!!!"
Those GG dreams never went away, my desire to again be pretty became an obsession for me. I was in pain and the only remedy for me was to let Linsey out and let her live again.
I went to a makeover specialist, we went shopping and replaced all my lingerie, make-up, hairpieces and outfits. She taught me how to dress and behave and I started enjoying life all over again.
Society tried to kill Linsey but failed.

Yes I sometimes have less desire to dress, it takes time money and effort. We CD's are high maintenance gals, it takes a lot of work to be pretty.
But when Linsey is having dinner in a resturaunt and the waitress asks me where I got my blouse or about my lip color...well that makes me feel 100% Linsey and for the time nothing will replace that.

[suchacutie]

Suzy, for me it's not losing the urge. Tina is always around, but life can be less than obliging! Tina is a high-maintenace girl and it is very hard at times to sequester the needed time to make her appearance meaningful. So, like you, I don't lose her, but I do lose the ability to bring her to life in the fullest!

And I thought life was complex BEFORE we knew Tina existed. Now it's just rediculous :)

[deborahtg42]

Never have lost the urge to crossdress, each passing year I need to crossdress more and more. When I am not dressing as a woman, I am usually dreaming about it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Suzy, I don't loose the urge sometimes I'm just too tired I'm affraid that I will fall off my stilettos and break something.
One night I fell asleep with my finger on the keeboard and had a whole page of LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLL's on the monitor.

Orchid

[catriona36]

ihave not dressed in 6months....
i had started working full time upto 16hrs behind the wheel.
ihadnt been in here for a longwhile,just pop in now and the4 wn to have a quick look.
a few weeks ago at 6am we were told that we are all out of a job as the owner had gone into liquidation.
i have been looking for work and in the meantime thought about opening my magic box and letting cat out to play.
still havnt done it and haveno real urge to do so. i prob will, but for now cat is napping. plus i finnaly got my boat to keep me busy lol

[eluuzion]

hiya S,

Hey, I am still trying to figure out what everyone is talking about with the references to an "inevitable" decline in the sexual aspects of CDing at some point. I think that is just one of those sasquatch myths type of thing. I am going to give it another 20 years to mellow out before I make any snap judgments about denying it happens...:heehee:

As to the decline in desire to dress, I believe so much in life has to do with what you choose to believe is "true" for you. I think it likely has as much to do with convenience and opportunity as anything else. Many people seem so willing to accept and apply the "declining concept of aging" to "everything"...almost like it is a gradual and unavoidable part of life they are all too eager to welcome.

The thrill of the experience of dressing becomes overshadowed by the hassles of preparation and clean-up required to achieve it and/or maintain it...for some people. Others just allow it to be displaced from the activity roster by other commitments in their lives...or lack of same.

It may also be a factor of advancing age affecting priorities. Maybe the importance of the due diligence required to maintain whatever level of secrecy or acceptance that was so important in the past...begins to fade with the "who cares what they think of me..." attitude that accompanies the aging process. Maybe this carefree attitude toward what people think of you has some effect on taking the excitement out of CDing. Maybe some of that "urge" was unconsciously powered to some degree by the "
risk" involved, instead of the actual action of dressing?

Just my thoughts,

Only our hairdresser knows for sure...:D