Shops that aren't accepting of TGs

[wighornskp]

Disclaimer: This site is not a gripe site, so keep it safe, decent and legal [sorry for this notice, had to be said!]

I'm 25, like crossdressing, but don't really have that much chance to be en femme.
However, what I do know from a fellow CD'er is that some stores are not accepting of it over here in the United Kingdom [well, England anyway].

It's mainly the chain stores which aren't, and small single-owner clubwear-type shops, if my friend's experience was anything to go by - threatened with being banned, despite having an accepting female friend with him! No, he's not gay, he's heterosexual as most CD'ers are, but the shop owner didn't seem to like it. Eventually... to cut the long story short, it was resolved.

Charity shops seem a bit more openminded though.

However, it's only really in Manchester, Wigan, Bolton, Preston, Liverpool, Southport and Warrington that I've noticed CD'ers/tgirls are treated as some kind of "freak".

Not naming shops at all, but I'll say that, basically, those towns don't seem to take CD'ers too well - Liverpool and Southport especially, Manchester is maybe a bit more tolerant, but I'm from Preston so it's a bit less often I go there than the other towns mentioned.

Anyway, what's your experiences been like

[sorry, I'm only really a lurker here]

[Stephenie S]

Well, I have NEVER been in a store (shop) that didn't want my money.

Maybe the economy is worse in the States.

[Karren H]

Likewise. Never had an issue in any store large or small... Obviously results may vary. Not available in all states. Void where prohibited.....

[Cynthia Anne]

I have to agree! All they want is my money! And MORE of it! Hugs!

[Jodi]

I've shopped in hundreds of stores, and have never been turned down or been treated badly. No store will turn away a serious shopper.

When a post is placed about a cd having trouble in a store, none of us know what attitude the cd displayed, or what negative body language was displayed. This is always a factor when a negative response is received from store staff.

A positive, honest and courteous approach will have store staff falling all over you. Showing you are serious about spending money doesn't hurt either.

Jodi

[Cindy.]

My step daughter used to work for a retail shop and they were trained to make dressers and gay men feel uncomfortable until they left. I guess they thought having GM's in the store ruined the vision of everything being for women. Guess where I DON'T shop......

[Tina B.]

I've shopped in drab for years, and once, just once, I had a middle age women SA give me a dirty little look, when I stepped up and laid a waist cincher on the counter, I smiled politely, said good afternoon, and she rang it up, without a word, the only time, no one said thank you for shopping with ......., here, it's all about the bucks. You stand a better chance of some other shopper saying something, and that seldom ever happens. Most of the time they will say something like, " your wife is a lucky women, you have such good taste, and at times, they must know my wife is never going to wear that.
Tina B.

[Intertwined]

Never had a problem myself, on an interesting side note, was shopping in a Lowe's hardware store, in my 50/50, mens shirt, long tierd skirt, high heels, and I noticed at least 1 male shopper spot me, put his stuff down and left the store, when I went to check out, I appologized to the cashier, saying "sorry, I think I scared off some of you more Manly shoppers", with a big grin on her face she said "not a problem, your money is just as green as theirs, and if they really need the stuff, they will be back".

[wighornskp]

I should add that my friend was polite and courteous, and I am too.
Charity shops seem to be my only outlet for this.

I'm trying to look as passable as I can, but haven't yet ventured out in public en femme (need to look as passable as I can without stubble etc.)

I suppose being where I am, in Preston, Lancashire, UK, the idea of CD'ers is treated as something of either a joke here, or in shops, total abhorrence - especially in chainstores [don't know how many of you UK members go to either Preston, Southport, Liverpool, Manchester, Wigan or Bolton].

I'm surprised to see how different things are across the pond...

[BillieJoEllen]

I've had a few issues with certain sales clerks. Most are fine with what ever you buy but there are a few out there that once they realize that what you are buying is for you they become very cold and indifferent. Some make comments, some become embarrassed. I bought about twenty pair of panties one time and the sales clerk became very flustered and couldn't speak very well at all. It all depends.....

[Kaitlyn26]

In the united states, if you carry money or plastic, they want you! Has nothing to do with the current state of the economy. Retail stores in the united states would sell their employees if they could, and they don't care who buys either.

[lauren.h100]

Since you're in the UK I'd follow the example of Chris/Crystal Dale who died earlier this year of cancer. He was clearly a great character and there's a wonderful obituary of him at:
<http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/sport-obituaries/8346303/Chris-Dale.html>
which is well worth the read, but the important part as far as this conversation is concerned is:


Friends joked that they did not want to meet the woman he bought the clothes from. In fact, they were purchased openly, which led to one unfortunate incident in a Scottish branch of Asda. Thrown out for acting suspiciously, Dale complained in writing, citing the sexual discrimination act, and received a grovelling apology and a substantial voucher. It was with no little pleasure that he returned to the store to try on some clothes, soliciting the help of the manager who had evicted him.

Anybody given similar problems by a shop salesperson should follow Chris' example (the writing to management part, not the crazy mountaineering thing).

[flic]

I have to say, i shop in Manchester all the time and so far i've never had anything worse than a raised eyebrow really. I keep my head up high and hand over the money the shops need right now,,, although i'm not always at my most confident i just try to remember that i've every right to be there and to buy whatever i feel like. I honestly don't think there's anything to worry about in Manchester, i can't speak for the other towns, i've not shopped there. Just remember that nobody has the right to make you feel crappy for being you!
x Flic x

[Kaitlyn26]

Oh wait I remember a shop I found that was not accepting. It was a small novelty/BDSM shop that was locally owned by an Asian family (nothing against Asians). They actually did not want me shopping there. Meh, their loss.

[susan54]

I have been shopping in male and female mode (and as man in skirt)for 15years in that alleged narrow minded country Scotland and in hundreds of times in shops only encountered about 3 that were sniffy about me trying things on. They are far outnumbered by those who are lovely - I have met some wonderful people when shopping that I would never otherwise have met. Enjoy shopping.There is NOTHING to fear.

[SweetTransvestite]

Closest I've ever had was a Tampa Victoria's Secret. Mainly because I have no choice but to shop the way I look right now:Full beard male mode. Just some weird/uncomfortable facial expressions from the SA though-nothing actually said-which by the end of the day, if I've bought what I want what does it matter. :-)

And I definitely hated that, "staff closely observing me like I'm a shoplifter" vibe I recently got from Marshall's. Whatever. My faves have been Wal-Mart, Rue 21, lingerie stores, and Goodwill.

[jemima_bates]

I'm also in the UK, but have never experienced any negative attitudes. London-based, which I guess helps?

Most people are lovely - I've had some particularly nice experiences with charity shop staff.

Jemima
x

[Cheryl T]

My cash and credit cards don't have a sex so I've never encountered a store that was prejudiced against them. I've been welcomed everywhere and thanked for my business....maybe it's a U.K. thing that they don't want your money???

[Emma England]

Expensive stores in the UK have asked me whether I would like to try skirts on (and that was in male mode!)

Debenhams and John Lewis are t-friendly.

There was one snobbish bitch in M&S, who shouted out "THAT'S A MAN!!" at the top of her voice.

[Jean Marie]

In many years of shopping only had one negative experience, The way we cure this is if you have a negative reception make sure to tell everyone you know to NOT shop there.