curious and confused

[guitarmy21b]

so I'm what I would consider a masculine straight male and have no attraction to other men, nor do I consider myself a woman trapped in a man's body. I'm a manly man that enjoys fishing and hunting and other stuff like that. But lately I've had this fantasy of dressing up like a woman and having sex with a guy. I've also thought about having sex with transexuals but being the bottom. Does this make me gay or a future CD. Like I said I'm not feminine at all and I don't find men attractive at all so I'm confused why I'm having fantasies like this.

[Karren H]

Welcome!!! Being attracted to femininity in what ever form it presents itself as..... doesn't make you a crossdresser or gay... Imho. I'm straight and married and I find some TG folk very appealing. Though my wife would kick my ass if I ever said that out loud. Lol.

[Vanessa Storrs]

You are completely normal. Most people have fantasies that they may find confusing or even disturbing. Very few of us are totally heterosexual or homosexual, having a fantasy about a sexual encounter does not make one gay just as having a fantasy about winning the lottery does not make one rich.

[suzy1]

It just makes you you. Stop worrying and have fun.


SUZY

[DebbieL]

Just in general, sexual fantasies can be very confusing. We often fantasize things we would never actually want to do.

If your fantasy had you wearing a dress and a girl wearing a dress and the two of you hugging, kissing, betting, and then having sex with each other, would that make you a lesbian?

I consider my fantasies to be lesbian fantasies and often they don't include intercourse.

The fantasy of being a woman and having sex with a man is also pretty normal. It may actually be a way for us to feel more "normal" about wanted to be women or wanting to dress like women.

As for whether you are a future CD, that may just be up to you? There are many who only dress in the privacy of their own home and only when nobody is around. Others try to dress to be beautiful and sexy women, and others want to be able to pass, to be able to go out in public without people knowing that they are actually males.

Being transgendered isn't black or white, nor is being gay. And when you combine the two together, just on a rating of 1-6 for identity and preference, there are 36 possible combinations. When you consider actual gender and sexual identity of your partner, it jumps to 72. And you might fall into several different and completely unconnected blocks in that grid.

When you think about it, the "perversion" is assuming that we should only be one spot on the spectrum (totally masculine) and should only be attracted to one gender with one spot on the spectrum (a genetic girl aka GG who is totally feminine).

Very often, fantasy messes up all of those roles. We want a dominatrix - a woman who may appear very feminine, yet acts very masculine, controlling, and powerful. We may even want her to put on a strap-on. Conversely, we might find that we want to be very submissive in the bedroom even though we have great responsibilities and power in the workplace and/or the community.

What's really perverse is that we let all those fantasies boil and stew for about 10-15 years then we aren't supposed to tell anybody about them, and then let them fix us up with someone who is supposed to be a "perfect match".

Imagine going into the grocery store, completely blind-folded, and having to shop for cans and jars of food, and cleaning products. Furthermore, we had to fix dinner while still blind, with nobody to tell us what's in each container. We could very easily end up fixing ourselves a string-bean and pear sandwich, with a little draino sprinkled on top.

But this is the American mating ritual.

[MJ]

nothing wrong with being who you are, you get to play dress up for free end of next month. go have fun, not sure about sex with a guy part. but becoming one of the girls for a night is fun.... careful once you start you might not be able to stop

[Toni Citara]

While this wasn't in Atlanta I thought I would share it anyway. Several years ago in Madison, Wisconsin, after a bunch of protester types complained area nightclubs stopped having "ladies" night and changed the special night to "skirt night". A lot of guys wore skirts just to drink free or cheap. Would love to see more clubs like that around today.

[deebra]

Buy some fem clothes, put them on, if they turn you on then see where it takes you.

[ReineD]

Like I said I'm not feminine at all and I don't find men attractive at all so I'm confused why I'm having fantasies like this.

I'm assuming this is not coming out of the blue? Have you ever engaged in autoeroticism while wearing some articles of women's clothing (panties, or nylons, etc) even if it all comes off when you're done? If so, then you are experiencing the next level of imagining yourself to be a woman or submissive sexually. It's not about an attraction to a guy so much as a sexual need to experience femininity or submission. In your description, the guy is just a prop.

It could be just a kink for you. Or, it could develop into a need to express femininity without having it be sexual. Only time and introspection will tell.

But whatever it does turn out to be for you, it's OK. :hugs: