Just suppose, think about this

[JenniferR771]

Just suppose the shoe were on the other foot. Its really hard for a wife to find out her masculine man she married--has hidden feminine tendencies.

Does your wife wear jeans a lot? Does she have short hair? Can she swear like a pirate? Does she have to remove hairs in funny places? Can she operate a screwdriver? Understand a quarterback draw play?

Well imagine if--she were actually born a boy--but happens to be a very clever, post-op transexual?

Now do you understand her point of view? Would it make a difference?

Wait! My wife just called--for real--she needed help changing tire. I feel better, but is she pretending? Could she have done it herself?

Wait, she called again from Discount Tire shop. Ouch! She is buying four new tires. That puts a hole in the budget.

[Karren H]

One word. Divorce!! Just like she didn't marry a woman. I didn't marry a man... Just how I feel. The same way she feels. Kind of why I wouldn't blame her one bit for kicking me to the curb....

[J'lyn GG]

One word. Divorce!! Just like she didn't marry a woman. I didn't marry a man... Just how I feel. The same way she feels. Kind of why I wouldn't blame her one bit for kicking me to the curb....

Thanks for the honesty, Karren. I posed this question to my hubs a long time ago. His knee jerk response was, of course, I would love you anyway. I said, back up a minute. Think about it as if you weren't a cder and you didn't understand all the things that go along with being a cder. He understood and things turned the corner FOR US. Just him thinking of it in a different manner helped him treat the whole situation a little differently and I didn't feel on the defensive all the time.

[Karren H]

Yeah Grace... Honesty sucks sometimes. Lol. I think if its known ahead of time before getting married then that's way different.. My mistake for not telling her but I know for a fact that she wouldn't have married a pervert.... Not many women would have especially 35 years ago.

[linda allen]

Well yes, if my wife cut her hair in a crewcut (this seems to be in style in the USA for some black women), started wearing men's clothes, walking like a man, and bound her breasts, I would be pretty upset. The difference between me (us) and most people though, is being a crossdresser and wanting to look like a female from time to time, I think I (we) would have a different perspective on it.

In general, females are different than males in some ways. Females like to dress up their dolls, their daughters, and some, even their little dogs. Ever see a guy walking a poodle or yorkie that's wearing an outfit? How about a woman? I'll bet you have. So - I suspect many of the supportive females are actually doing this - dressing us up. In a way, it's a sign of ownership.

[Karren H]

Quite right Karren. Women's understanding and tolerance of perverts has come a long way since the internet. :)

That's for sure! Tabloids and TV shows like "I'm pregnant and my husband wants to be a woman" haven't hurt! Lol.

[susmitha]

if you are a normal non-CDer but your wife is somewhat masculine as explained here, it is a problem. but if you are a CD, you choose to dress as a female and she chooses to dress as a male in private, and you can enjoy complete role reversal.

[Raychel]

I am usually pretty careful about just how far I go with CDing around my wife. Always testing the watres of course. :heehee:
But if she were to go all butch, all bets would be off.

[Katie83]

My wife and i had a similar conversation recently. She accepts my cding but doesnt want to see it. She has short hair, never wears make up or jewelery, only wears jeans and fairly shapeless tops, never dresses or skirts and hates heels. She also likes cars and is happy to work on them, change the oil etc. I dont have any issues with any of this, but when we discussed the fact that she portrayed a very tomboy/masculine image the majority of the time and that was ok, why was i different or wrong for me to portray a feminine image sometimes?
The only answer i got was it was completely different. I fail to see why.
Katie

[brassieres]

Funny that you should ask this, I was thinking of this very question the other day.

The short answer is no, however I do have a fantasy of a women wearing mens clothes while I am dressed enfemme though.

[Suzie S.]

Well imagine if--she were actually born a boy--but happens to be a very clever, post-op transexual?

Now do you understand her point of view? Would it make a difference?

IF that was the case, it meant dishonesty from the beginning. I know I'm an open-minded person, but not sure if I can wrap my head around that. Maybe, but maybe not. I truly understand the shoe on the other foot concept, It's been mentioned on the forum before. It's given me plenty of helpful insight about how my wife feels about me. As Raychel said, I don't push boundarys. She accepts me as I am, but at the end of the day, I am her MAN and her HUSBAND. :thumbsup:

By the way, my wife has super long hair, wears jeans alot, loves sports, not afraid to get dirt under her nails, and curses like a sailor! :devil: ...and she is the most feminine and wonderful woman I've ever met. :daydreaming:

[Gocaps14]

I did tell my wife.....20 years ago.....but I guess she had different expectations because she recently began telling me,"Had I known, I never woulds have married you".

[DebbieL]

Both of my wives turned into boys after I married them :-).

When we first started dating, they would dress up and be cute and feminine, but it didn't take long after the wedding to reach that point where they were wearing baggy pants, flat comfortable shoes, and baggy shirts nearly all the time. They realized that I liked dressing like a girl, but that I was able to enjoy theme.

My current wife also sings tenor in the church choir and her speaking voice is lower than mine. She also wears larger clothes than I do, and steals most of my boy clothes, and my old larger casual girl clothes. We can tell our tennis shoes apart (mine are pink, hers are blue), and she wears the cotton undies and I wear the silky and spandex ones.

She'll wear pink sweaters to work, and once in a while she'll wear a cotton nightie, but more often, she wears the men's T-shirt and I wear the satin or chiffon nightie.

Marrying her was the best thing I've ever done. I'm not about to let her go.

[Cynthia Anne]

Well, you got me to wondering on this one! I've always been for the underdog and except people for who they are! If I were not a crossdresser would I understand and except a woman that was a MAB! I truely DON'T KNOW! I would like to think so! But????????????????? Hugs!

[cassandra54]

i may be going out on a limb here, but if you married a woman that was not born a woman, i think you would have figured it out by the time you were married. surgery might be really good, but i think there's some things that are still not there and some things that do not happen

[prettytoes]

[QUOTE

In general, females are different than males in some ways. Females like to dress up their dolls, their daughters, and some, even their little dogs. Ever see a guy walking a poodle or yorkie that's wearing an outfit? How about a woman? I'll bet you have. So - I suspect many of the supportive females are actually doing this - dressing us up. In a way, it's a sign of ownership.[/QUOTE]

My neighbor is a widower and his little poodle has more outfits than I do. Skirts, dresses, coats, hats, Halloween costumes, even a bikini! So yes, I have seen a man dress up his little dog!

[Tina B.]

Prettytoes, but does he have matching outfits? I would like to think that if I didn't know, until after the wedding that she was a transsexual, but then I would love the person I know, history is just that, but the person that you have had fun with, cried with, and shared so much of life with, I might have to think about it for a while, but she is the same person that she was before I knew, and I would like to think, that is the important part. Oh, my wife knows next to nothing about football, and triple A is there for that flat, but she's got the rest of it down cold. She wears the pants in our family, and I don't care, it keeps her out of my skirts. Debbie, that's how I feel about my wife too, I love her just the way she is, and she is wonderful enough to return the same to me.
Tina B.

[Sarah Doepner]

My wife recently suggested that I didn't marry the person I thought I did and she would understand if I left her. The person I married didn't have multiple serious medical problems and she didn't want to adopt 4 children that would have problems she would feel obliged to help with. Nor did she have grandchildren that would grab so much of her attention. Except for knowing about my crossdressing I'm pretty much the same person she married. I found out about all this little by little but love the person behind it all anyway. At this point I don't think something simple like a change in her gender would cause much of a ripple in our life.