I told my date last nite. And, she kept saying--------------------------

[docrobbysherry]

"I don't know what to say." And, "U should stop. If u wanted to, u could!":straightface:
At least 4 or 5 times during the evening.

I've been dating her randomly for a couple of months. I decided to tell her because she wanted to hear all about the "conference" I attended. (The SCC).

I thot I should tell her the truth because I think we've been quite honest with each other so far. No one else pinned me down about the SCC like her. She asked for very few details after I told her. About the conference or anything else RE my dressing. So, I volunteered few. She finished the evening by saying, "You're a nice guy, I hope we can continue to see each other?" :)

We'll see what happens after she's had some time to think about it!:brolleyes:

[ReineD]

Good luck, Sherry! Hope it works out. She ended the evening on a positive note and this is encouraging. :)

[Donna1]

Well at least you were honest with her!!! I am thankful that my GF is so accepting...

[larry]

I am in no way qualified to give you any advice. You have embraced your position and seem to be very good at it. "That" conversation did not seem like it was going the way it should have. "You should stop" hehehehe Good Luck.

[Ann Thomas]

Oh wow, um, I really don't think you could stop, Sherry. You put far too much into your dressing than I think she realizes. It's too much a part of who you are to 'stop'. I respect you for being true to yourself in that way. I also applaud you for being honest at this point with your date. I think you're better off in the long run if it turns out she can't handle even what little you've told her so far. All the best!

Hugs,
Ann

[VioletJourney]

Ask her why she thinks you should stop.

[SusanLCD]

Should she stop, too?

[eluuzion]

Uh Oh...

That "you're a nice guy" comment sounds very close to that "I consider you to be a great friend" comment that women make when they are informing you nicely that your application has just been moved from the "maybe" stack into the "NO" stack.

Hey, you usually cannot make any real interpretations at the time the play is in motion. You usually find out what they really think in the next interaction with her, where she is not in face-to-face mode.

I would consult my 8 ball and give you the results, but about a year ago something went wrong...and now all I can see is the little black triangle and a bunch of white ink blobs floating at the top of the window, blocking out the little advice responses. Shaking it just makes it worse. :sad: So, I guess you are on your own...:hugs:

Good Luck...we still luv u...:hugs: :D

:love:

[Rogina B]

You should have asked her WHY she thinks you should stop having fun...She doesn't seem right for you...glad we support your fun!

[Amanda22]

I don't interpret her response as positive at all. I'm hearing, "If you stop CDing, we can keep seeing each other". Sherry, do you really want to beinvolved with someone who clearly disapproves? I may be all wrong here, but it sure sounds like she's bargaining with you as if to say, if you "stop" we can continue. That's manipulative, disrespectful, and not worth your investment of time. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Please.

[Karren H]

Except in the movies.... "Nice guys" rarely get the girl!! Good luck!!

[xristy]

I didn't tell my wife until we had been together for a while. It may be a little uncomfortable with this person now, but it makes it much easier for you to deal with it now rather than much later.

You are doing the right thing and being up front with her. That will make less heart ache down the line...

[Emily Ann Brown]

Sherry,

The ball is in her court now. Take your time. Let her weigh the "fors" and "againsts".

My love interest (of 2 years). On our first date her JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR when I told her . After a week she called and asked my out on a picnic. After the picnic she say "We can have something READY SPECIAL. I feel a contact with you. I can learn to love you as you are!" I didn't push her, and she went baby steps to total accepting.

Wait and see what her next step is...and....and then....


Em

[MJ]

Except in the movies.... "Nice guys" rarely get the girl!! Good luck!!

well my friend there's always hope. continue to be open and honest with her. i wish you all the best may you find happiness

[Amanda22]

My love interest (of 2 years). On our first date her JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR when I told her . After a week she called and asked my out on a picnic. After the picnic she say "We can have something READY SPECIAL. I feel a contact with you. I can learn to love you as you are!" I didn't push her, and she went baby steps to total accepting.Em

That's really beautiful. I'm happy for you!

[NicoleScott]

Ask her why she thinks you should stop.

AND...

Ask her why she thinks you COULD stop.

[Jenny Beth]

When she says "I hope we can continue seeing each other" that tells me she has already made up her mind and is being polite. Time will tell when she's had time to think but it was worth the try, it was the only way to find out how she feels about it all. 10 out of 10 for being up front.

[suchacutie]

I'm sorry to say that I also think the comments from her are very cautious. She was trying to be tactful from my read. I hope she responds positively the next time you see her, and I would NOT wait long before there is a next time!

tina

[JulieK1980]

Any time in my life a girl told me I was a "nice guy" I was usually single within a week. I hope it works out for you!

[kimdl93]

I really don't believe in mind reading. It seems that she is reacting to a surprise and probably needs to process what she's heard. Let's assume for the moment, she was actually saying what she meant. The "you could stop" probably reflects her understanding CDing as a choice. To some degree it is - we can all stop...to paraphrase Mark Twain, I've done it hundreds of times. Similarly, I would take the comment that "you're a really nice guy" at face value. And, the statement that "I hope we can continue seeing each other" as an honest expression of her thoughts as well. Assume nothing and accept her at face value.

[Marie-Elise]

Uh Oh...

That "you're a nice guy" comment sounds very close to that "I consider you to be a great friend" comment that women make when they are informing you nicely that your application has just been moved from the "maybe" stack into the "NO" stack.

Hey, you usually cannot make any real interpretations at the time the play is in motion. You usually find out what they really think in the next interaction with her, where she is not in face-to-face mode.

I would consult my 8 ball and give you the results, but about a year ago something went wrong...and now all I can see is the little black triangle and a bunch of white ink blobs floating at the top of the window, blocking out the little advice responses. Shaking it just makes it worse. :sad: So, I guess you are on your own...:hugs:

Good Luck...we still luv u...:hugs: :D

:love:

I agree about the friend thing. I would move on...but I have a low tolerance for the "friend zone".

[sissystephanie]

I do have to disagree with others who have answered your Thread. You can stop if YOU WANT TO!! The idea to crossdress is a built in mental thing which is in your mind only!! You are not being forced to dress, so you can stop. As one who did stop for 5 years, I can say that it is not easy!! Because that mindset is always there to tell you to put on the pretty clothes. BTW, as many of you know, I started dressing again only because my late wife begged me to do so. She missed Stephanie in her life!!

All that said, you seem to have a very smart girlfriend and I think she is a keeper!! I think she will stay with you. Maybe with more talking, to get more answers!!

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you are looking for a romantic relationship I wouldn't hold my breath. She clearly indicates she doesn't like it and does not approve ("why don't you stop?") and probably never will. She may indeed want to remain close, but I think she gave you the equivalent of the old "let's just be friends" line.

I am sorry this is probably the case, I know what it feels like :(

[Tara D. Rose]

Yes Sherry the moment she said "you can stop if you want to', means she doesn't approve.

[LilSissyStevie]

"You're a nice guy, I hope we can continue to see each other?" :)

Translation: "Don't call me, I'll call you!":sad:

[Marlana]

That's too bad. Good luck though. I hope it works out for you. :)

[sometimes_miss]

If she didn't end the date with a hug and a kiss for you, I'd say any chance for romance is completely gone. So sorry. But you might have a nice friend now, and if you can teach her more about it, she may become more accepting of your crossdressing. But from her comments so far, it doesn't seem like she wants to deal with it at all, otherwise she wouldn't have told you that you should stop doing it.

[RADER]

I think the comment about you being a nice guy thing is a way of saying......
Don't call me, I will call you. I hope I am wrong, And I wish you the best of luck
with her. If you do get back together, take it slow, do not approach the subject unless she brings it
up first. Then short answers at first, testing the waters to see if she will accept or not.
Rader

[BRANDYJ]

She finished the evening by saying, "You're a nice guy, I hope we can continue to see each other?

That does sound like you were put into the "friend's zone" the NICE GUY comment. That was followed by HOPE we can continue to see each other. That to me sounds like you "might" see each other as friends. But the I HOPE part means you are not going to be friends unless you stop crossdressing. I hope you were not having serious feelings for her hoping to end up in a committed relationship. That could hurt. I'm sorry this happened.
For this one rare occasion I disagree with ReineD's opinion about it ending on a positive note. I don't think it did. But I'd be happy if it turns out I'm wrong.

[DonniDarkness]

Well Doc Have you spoken with her again?!

Im dying to know!

I think the whole conversation could be taken either way. I truly hope the best for you no matter the outcome.

And im not sure if anyone has mentioned this yet....I commend you for being upfront with her! Its tough and awkward in those beginning times of dating.

-Donni-

ps: Maybe you could bribe her with Sherry's extensive wardrobe!!! -Giggles-

[Cynthia Anne]

Had a girlfriend once to tell me to stop or she was going to leave! I helped her pack! Hugs!

[wanagione]

I think Sherry that she will not be to excepting, I could be wrong and maybe she needs some time, who knows.

[IMkrystal]

Uh Oh...

That "you're a nice guy" comment sounds very close to that "I consider you to be a great friend" comment that women make when they are informing you nicely that your application has just been moved from the "maybe" stack into the "NO" stack.



I learned this a long time ago, "nice guys" always finish last. I am sorry to say women do not want nice guys!:eek:

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u, all. Your comments r all insightful and helpful. Let me add a few things here:

I had already ASSUMED, ( u know the old, "That makes an ASS out of U and ME?"), that we were in a "friends" catagory with each other. I'm just not sure whether it is going to be a "friends with benefits" situation or not. I was leaving that to her.

Because she said, "U could quit", so often, I told her that; "At the present time, I can't! That it seemed to be a compulsion. The only one I've ever experienced."

[JenniferR771]

I think she is having some second thoughts and a moment of indecision. Help her get over it by mentioning how wealthy your family is. You paid cash for your car, right?

[Sophie86]

I learned this a long time ago, "nice guys" always finish last. I am sorry to say women do not want nice guys!:eek:

I wouldn't say it that way. I would say that there are lots of things that women look for in a guy, and 'nice' isn't necessarily at the top of the list.

'Dresses up like a girl' is somewhere near the bottom. :/

[Stephenie S]

OMG!! I beg to differ!

Women do TO want nice guys. That macho crap is a myth invented to excuse being a bad boy. It's absolutely NOT true that women prefer men who misbehave. Get real! It's not women that make guys misbehave.

Stephenie

[Debb]

Sherry, I don't think reading much into this will do anybody any good.

If you're in the "friend zone", hell, at least you're in the friend zone. If you're altogether out of the picture, kudos to you for being honest early.

... and if you're in the friend zone, with benefits, awesome!

[cassandra54]

next time you go to pick her up for a date, get one of those hello kitty bmw 3 series and show up dressed like a las vegas show girl.

[docrobbysherry]

next time you go to pick her up for a date, get one of those hello kitty bmw 3 series and show up dressed like a las vegas show girl.

Something like THIS, Cassi? I'm SURE she'd be thrilled to see me! ROFL!!!:devil:

165828

[Aprilrain]

I started dressing again only because my late wife begged me to do so. She missed Stephanie in her life!!

Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps your wife thought you were unbearable to be around because you were white knuckling your way through not CDing?

If I think someone's breath stinks I don't say "hey you stink" I offer them some gum!

[Aprilrain]

I learned this a long time ago, "nice guys" always finish last. I am sorry to say women do not want nice guys!:eek:

I have had this discussion with my ex. the father of her first child was her attempt at a "nice guy" he ended up being physically abusive. her take on the "nice guy" thing was that these men are hiding something (CDing perhaps).

Personally I want a man who is confident and knows what he wants, that doesn't mean I want him to be a jerk or treat me badly, but if he is a spineless yes man that will get pretty old pretty fast too!

[Pythos]

Do you recall the scene in Top GUN when Maverick and Goose pulled those yellow and black handles above their heads as their ship flat spinned? Yea, I think you need to do that same thing when it comes to this relationship.

[MJ]

Something like THIS, Cassi? I'm SURE she'd be thrilled to see me! ROFL!!!:devil:

165828

i'll pay BIG bucks to see her reaction lol

[pinto]

I learned this a long time ago, "nice guys" always finish last. I am sorry to say women do not want nice guys!:eek:

I think Krystal is right. Women like nice guys but deep inside they want and adore machos. They make them melt. In my experiences to be called a "nice guy" is about the worst what can happen to a man who is interested in a woman.

[Inna]

She finished the evening by saying, "You're a nice guy, I hope we can continue to see each other?" :)

I hate to be the reality check checker but, you can always blame it on me hon ;) I hope we can stated by her, when you have not put any doubt on your part as to liking her and continuing to see her, what she realy is saying: I hope I can deal with this.................maybe

At least it is what I am seeing, I hope I am wrong in reading into this :)

[Frédérique]

I told my date last nite. And, she kept saying-------------------------- "I don't know what to say." And, "U should stop. If u wanted to, u could!" At least 4 or 5 times during the evening. I've been dating her randomly for a couple of months. I decided to tell her because she wanted to hear all about the "conference" I attended. (The SCC). I thot I should tell her the truth because I think we've been quite honest with each other so far. No one else pinned me down about the SCC like her. She asked for very few details after I told her. About the conference or anything else RE my dressing. So, I volunteered few. She finished the evening by saying, "You're a nice guy, I hope we can continue to see each other?" We'll see what happens after she's had some time to think about it.

She’s telling you in no uncertain terms that your crossdressing is WRONG, that she doesn’t understand it, and “Why on Earth a male would do such a thing(?)” In her mind, there’s something very wrong with you, and you can stop if you wanted to? She wants you to stop, and mold yourself into her idea of a man, or male, or masculine human being – why bother?
:idontknow:

This begs the question why TELL anyone? I mean, no matter where you live, or how sophisticated the woman you’re dating allegedly is, you run into the same old prejudices. If you are a male, and you dress in women’s clothing, you are most decidedly NOT a male in the eyes of society. Nowadays, a male not being a male is a bad thing, and GAY just happens to mean “bad" at the present time. It’s a pity, but your little story just reinforces this hideous ignorance that is prevalent out in the real world…

Why date at all? What do you need a woman for if you can dress up and BE the woman you wish to meet (or be with)? Why not be your own girlfriend and skip the one-sided conversations about your little “hobby,” or, if you’re such a nice guy, why not avoid these foundation-quaking incidents altogether? I, also, don’t know what to say, but at least I know something about MtF crossdressing, unlike your date. Honesty may be the best policy, but isn’t it better to be truthful with yourself? Oh, BTW – nice mask…


I would say that there are lots of things that women look for in a guy, and 'nice' isn't necessarily at the top of the list. 'Dresses up like a girl' is somewhere near the bottom.

Well said… :clap:

[SamanthaS]

I so wish you the best with her Sherry.

[kristinacd55]

Sherry,
I get the feeling that she would want to date if you stopped cding, which there's no way your gonna! Just my :2c: I hope I'm wrong! :)

[CynthiaD]

Personally, I think you've been dumped and it doesn't matter one bit whether you give up crossdressing or not.

[t-girlxsophie]

Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps your wife thought you were unbearable to be around because you were white knuckling your way through not CDing?

If I think someone's breath stinks I don't say "hey you stink" I offer them some gum!

Sorry,but I think your being very disrespectful to Stephanie with your words.to make such a comment to someone such as Stephanie who from my first time on this site,has talked in such glowing terms about her dearly departed wife,and their loving relationship of 50 years is out of order IMO

I think maybe nice guys is the the wrong expression,A decent Man is perhaps what most Ladies are after,as opossed to "nice"

Sophie

[prene]

Except in the movies.... "Nice guys" rarely get the girl!! Good luck!!

Karren is funny and sometimes a great comedian but here I think right on.

I have told 2 gg gf's who I told and they both said about the same thing.

They slowly broke it off.

I mean we are still friends ... kind of.

thought I should tell cause I was getting serious.

GOOD LUCK

[JanetHarper]

Doc, 10 out of 10 for being upfront and honest. Even if you 'lose' this one you are going the right way about finding an accepting partner.

[Amanduhrob]

"You're a nice guy, I hope we can continue to see each other?"
Translation... Call me when you decide to stop acting foolish... Move on, she's not worthy

[jillleanne]

Only way you'll know for sure is if you ever hear from her again. If so, that would be a perfect time to start educating her with links like this site, tri-ess, etc. and if she shows for a third get together, put a checkmark by her name in your Blackberry.

[docrobbysherry]

Only way you'll know for sure is if you ever hear from her again. If so, that would be a perfect time to start educating her with links like this site, tri-ess, etc. and if she shows for a third get together, put a checkmark by her name in your Blackberry.

After about 10 days, she called me! Among other things, we discussed my dressing and what she thot about it. She's, "Not very interested", in it! But hopes, "I can get over it". :straightface:

She also confirmed she wants to continue seeing me, would rather not discuss my dressing, and repeated SEVERAL TIMES again what a, "Nice guy", I am!:brolleyes:

[suchacutie]

Sherry, she really doesn't understand. She likes you, but wants you to stop this "silly hobby", as if she would prefer you to wear a different style of socks, or that you would stop rooting for the Phillies (or whatever team you root for!). I think you have a long up-hill struggle to educate her, and her refusal to continue the conversation indicates to me that education is something that does not interest her in this area.

Good luck, Sherry.

tina

[Karren H]

That's too bad Sherry!

[Marie-Elise]

I would consider moving on unless you are looking for a platonic friend who is a little but close minded. She may be a nice person but doesn't sound like someone I would want to pursue any intimacy with...but that is me.

[Presh GG]

I so disagree , but I've never been a guy... and it's been a while sinse I've dated.

But when I told a guy I hope we could see each other again I ment I hope you call me.
When I said " You're such a nice guy " hear .. " compared to the sobs I've met, I like Nice Guys !"

OK so she's not " interested " in your dressing ,, how does she know [ at this point does she know what it's all about?]

I had a million points I wanted to make but I have to go to work

Sherry, If you like her, invite her here with us.

Best,
bye..
Presh

[kimdl93]

Sherry, I would take it as it is and let things move along. Hey, there's nothing wrong with just going out and enjoying the company of the opposite sex. Given time, she might even decide to look farther into CDing. But to quote Lovell in Apollo 13: "... there's a thousand things that have to happen in order. We are on number eight. You're talking about number six hundred and ninety-two." Let this evolve on its own and don't get ahead of yourself.

[Leslie Langford]

Let her go, sherry...

The signals couldn't be any clearer that while your new friend likes you, the crossdressing part is a big deal to her and is always going to be the elephant in the room. Stay with her, and you'll be doomed to a lifetime of "don't ask, don't tell" at best - the same as many of the rest of us CDer's who didn't tell our SO's before we got married in the hope that this "quirk" would go away after we settled down, and then found out to both of our dismays that it didn't. We were then condemned for marrying our SO's under false pretences, and have continued to pay the price ever since.

I'm also assuming that your gf is middle-aged like yourself, so she would have been raised in a different time from today and when gender roles and expectations were very much more clearly defined and "men were men, and women were women". It's pretty hard to change such entrenched mindsets once people get to a certain age.

Let her go for both your sakes and spare yourselves a ton of grief in the process. You're only early on into this budding relationship, so the break up won't be overly hard on either one of you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and if you look hard enough, you'll eventually find a gal who has the same great attributes, but won't be as freaked out by your crossdressing need as the present one is.

Just my $0.02 worth from someone with only about 40 years of DADT experience under their belt. If I had to do it over again, would I have done things differently? You betcha...! :sad:

[KrazyKat]

Doc
My heart is broken, I thought you were saving yourself for me!!:lovestruck:

That being said, may I add, without reading anything but the very first post:

You are a wonderful person who always has supportive, kind, funny things to add to all subjects on this forum.

Who, in their right mind, wouldn't be able to understand that about you?! You must be looking in the wrong caves, Doc!?

[bridgetta]

i dont know why everyone is being so down on this girl.. it sounds just like a typical reaction... the fact that she called 10 days later is a good sign.. how can she possibly know automatically how to react to this.. seems normal to me..

[rosetyler]

Yeah. Cut her some slack. It took me a while before I was willing to learn about cd'ing, and a long time to come around to the idea. Be patient, don't force cd related discussions on her, and see what happens.

[Jenny Beth]

It's not my place to say you shouldn't give it a shot. I suppose it all depends on how serious any relationship with her gets, she's hoping you'll change and you know you can't. If neither of you talk about it things may work for a while but neither of you will be fully happy. If you are both prepared that someday you might part company and hopefully with no one getting hurt then it's worth seeing where it will lead. I see nothing wrong with another date.

[RADER]

Sherry:
Their are a lot more fish in the sea, In short find a new spot to go fishing.
You are who you are, and to change to please her would be hard on you.
You do not need that trouble when there are GG's out their that would at
least meet you half way...... Good luck.
Rader

[Elizabeth Ann]

Hey Doc,
Unless you are planning on making this woman your life partner, soul mate, or whatever the current term is, why not just enjoy the company and the relationship. If she called you back, she obviously is interested in continuing it. You have been clear about who you are, so just let the two of you enjoy the male aspect of your personality. Just be clear to her (and to yourself) that this is a "self limiting" relationship.

One thing was not clear. You said:


After about 10 days, she called me! Among other things, we discussed my dressing and what she thot about it. She's, "Not very interested", in it! But hopes, "I can get over it". :straightface:

She also confirmed she wants to continue seeing me, would rather not discuss my dressing, and repeated SEVERAL TIMES again what a, "Nice guy", I am!:brolleyes:

The wording confused me. Was she saying that she hopes that she herself can "get over it" or that she hopes you can "get over it." The first would be great. The second, not so much.

Liz

[Amy Hepker]

Hi Doc,
I am afraid she is in the Category of "Ewwww You are one of Those" It is to bad that Ladies cannot see past what others think and make up their own mind. I am sure she has had friends, that made fun of guys that dress up in female clothes and maybe she has before. It is really to bad they give us such low status. Like you I have heard the "you are such a nice guy but why do you want to dress as a female." line. You know what I tell them, I tell them I would not be who I am without Amy, I would probably just some Prick out there wanting to molest and degrade all Females. Instead I would love to be one and I want all Female friends and I want a Lady that will accept me for who I am, ALL OF ME!!! The inside and the Outside. The Person I am and the person I have to be.

[bridgetta]

well.. my girlfriend is in that category.. and were fine.. so it could work.. ..im just saying.. all of us here are climbing up a mountain of adversity with this damn thing.. i thought the consensus was that gg that are "into" this are very very rare...

[S. Lisa Smith]

It is hard to give advice over the inter web since I only know you by what you post here and don't know her at all. I'd just play it by ear. If you enjoy her and she enjoys you, why not give it a shot?

[Stephanie47]

Frankly, if I were a GG on a casual date with no experience with cross dressing and my date told me he was a cross dresser, I'd tell him he was a nice guy and drop him. It is only when a GG truly knows the positive qualities of a guy that she MAY get past the issue of cross dressing. I think she just blew you off in a tasteful manner.

[BRANDYJ]

After about 10 days, she called me! Among other things, we discussed my dressing and what she thot about it. She's, "Not very interested", in it! But hopes, "I can get over it". :straightface:

She also confirmed she wants to continue seeing me, would rather not discuss my dressing, and repeated SEVERAL TIMES again what a, "Nice guy", I am!:brolleyes:

With the limpted information Doc is giving us, it's hard to say what this woman is thinking. But here's another thought based on the fact she at least confirmed she wants to keep seeing Doc. it's possible she is doing her own on-line education about crossdressing and other gender related topics. Right now she does not want to talk about it. Perhaps because she is uncomfortable and would rather not discuss the crossdressing since she is not knowledgable uncomfortable with, for lack of education on the topic. Of course she's not very interested in it. Very few women are. It's the man she might be interested in! Interested enough to want to still see each other and maybe...just maybe do her own research on the topic before she wants to talk about it. That is IF she is interested enough to want more then a casual dating type of relationship. If the chemistry is right with both parties, she may come around. So if Doc has long term romantic hopes for this to work out, He needs to just let her lead when it comes to any conversations about crossdressing. So if I was in this situation, I'd have to weigh just how strong my desire for this woman is and continue to see her but perhaps prepare myself for the worst if she does not grow stronger feelings toward me and I see it going no where. But I think it's to early to tell. But again, we don't know how serious Doc wants this to go. Nor do we know if this woman is wanting a serious relationship. But so long as each enjoy each other, I say continue to see each other and see where it goes.

[ReineD]

After about 10 days, she called me! Among other things, we discussed my dressing and what she thot about it. She's, "Not very interested", in it! But hopes, "I can get over it". :straightface:

She also confirmed she wants to continue seeing me, would rather not discuss my dressing, and repeated SEVERAL TIMES again what a, "Nice guy", I am!:brolleyes:

Hmm. Sounds as if she thinks this is a hobby that you can choose to not engage in. She probably has no idea what's involved with the CDing. But, she did call you, so that's a good sign! :)

Are you attracted to her? Putting the CDing aside for a moment, is she someone that you enjoy spending time with? If so, how do you see your relationship growing?

And my last question, or rather comment is not promising. Let's just say that things do develop between the two of you, and through some leap of faith she eventually realizes that CDing is more than a hobby, and she further comes to acknowledge that you need to express yourself. Would you like to eventually involve her (or any other potential gf) with Sherry, meaning would you like to dress in front of a girlfriend if she was accepting? And if so, I hate to bring this up but you yourself said that even many people in the CDing community have a hard time with femme skins. Does this woman know that you wear one, or was your discussion about the CDing more general?

[Presh GG]

Sherry,

You made this lady wait 10 days without calling her, till she had to call you ?

I'd say she's interested and probably sat by the phone hopeing you would call her !

And lastly she is right , You are a nice person... what in the world is wrong with that ?!

Presh GG

[BRANDYJ]

I have some of the same questions as ReineD does. I also like what Presh said. If feelings grow and the chemistry, trust and appreciation for you is there, she may end up accepting you for you...all of you. Funny how love can do that for us.

[docrobbysherry]

Ok, time to give all of u some more info to think about!


With the limpted information Doc is giving us, it's hard to say what this woman is thinking. But here's another thought based on the fact she at least confirmed she wants to keep seeing Doc. it's possible she is doing her own on-line education about crossdressing and other gender related topics. Right now she does not want to talk about it. Perhaps because she is uncomfortable and would rather not discuss the crossdressing since she is not knowledgable uncomfortable with, for lack of education on the topic. Of course she's not very interested in it. Very few women are. It's the man she might be interested in! Interested enough to want to still see each other and maybe...just maybe do her own research on the topic before she wants to talk about it. That is IF she is interested enough to want more then a casual dating type of relationship. If the chemistry is right with both parties, she may come around. So if Doc has long term romantic hopes for this to work out, He needs to just let her lead when it comes to any conversations about crossdressing. So if I was in this situation, I'd have to weigh just how strong my desire for this woman is and continue to see her but perhaps prepare myself for the worst if she does not grow stronger feelings toward me and I see it going no where. But I think it's to early to tell. But again, we don't know how serious Doc wants this to go. Nor do we know if this woman is wanting a serious relationship. But so long as each enjoy each other, I say continue to see each other and see where it goes.
Very incisive post, Brandy! I purposely haven't posted much info, because I didn't want to inject MY opinions of what she's thinking in here YET! Or my thots/feelings, for that matter. Also, I wasn't sure WHERE this thread would go. Or, even where I wanted it to go! Here's what else she said in our last discussion:
"I thot about researching about CDs on line. But then, I'm not really that interested in knowing more about them/it. Everyone our age has their issues, I guess that's just one of yours!"


Hmm. Sounds as if she thinks this is a hobby that you can choose to not engage in. She probably has no idea what's involved with the CDing. But, she did call you, so that's a good sign! :)

Are you attracted to her? Putting the CDing aside for a moment, is she someone that you enjoy spending time with? If so, how do you see your relationship growing?

And my last question, or rather comment is not promising. Let's just say that things do develop between the two of you, and through some leap of faith she eventually realizes that CDing is more than a hobby, and she further comes to acknowledge that you need to express yourself. Would you like to eventually involve her (or any other potential gf) with Sherry, meaning would you like to dress in front of a girlfriend if she was accepting? And if so, I hate to bring this up but you yourself said that even many people in the CDing community have a hard time with femme skins. Does this woman know that you wear one, or was your discussion about the CDing more general?
Ok, u r really pinning me down here, Reine! Finally ASKING me what I think, rather than speculating on what me and my GG friend think!
Yes, I'm attracted to her. But, on my scale of 1 to 10, I'd say about a 5. We've fooled around enuff for me to think that neither of us will see stars and rainbows if we sleep together. I don't see her as a long term GF. However, I've been WRONG about such things before! In BOTH directions, way better and way worse.

And, your LAST point is my worst CD nitemare! A date asking what I get out of dressing and/or wanting to see pics of Sherry! I imagine that would be the kiss of death, after seeing the response of my old college girlfriend who's carried a candle for me ever since then. She finally blew me off after seeing pics of Sherry!



Sherry,

You made this lady wait 10 days without calling her, till she had to call you ?

I'd say she's interested and probably sat by the phone hopeing you would call her !

And lastly she is right , You are a nice person... what in the world is wrong with that ?!

Presh GG

U may be rite, Presh! I think she would have liked to see me last weekend. But, I was working and dressing. And, I told her so.
Here's something she's said a number of times: "I could tell u weren't emotionally available rite away." She said that for the first time rite after I told her about my dressing and she repeated it on the phone recently. She added, "Because you're still dealing with your ex and your daughter". And, now she knows I also have a secret life! I don't know if she's rite or wrong. Maybe rite as for my feelings for her? But, what did she mean by that?

She mite mean many things by that remark. I haven't asked her why she thinks/says that because I guess I'm not ready to find out where she stands if I WERE "available"!

I enjoy her company. But, she's a woman of few words. Not a great conversationalist. That's not so good when I'm not sure what she means. And, she tends to repeat things over and over!
I guess I'll keep seeing her unless I find someone whose company I like better. Hey! I never said I was a, "Nice guy". She's the one that keeps saying that. I've warned her that maybe I'm NOT! I try to be as honest as possible with dates. And, I am with her. If I start seriously dating someone else, I'll tell her. However unlikely that scenario is!

[CarlaWestin]

Yea, move her into the <maybe pile. She sounds like she thinks your CD stuff might interfere with her boring droning. If you do decide to stop dressing, wait till after post 8000.

[ReineD]

So, how'd you meet her, Doc?

[Presh GG]

Sherry
Why don't you ask her " what do you mean ? "
when she says something that could be taken more ways than one ?

And like Reine I want to know too,How did you meet her ?

Presh

[docrobbysherry]

Sherry
Why don't you ask her " what do you mean ? "
when she says something that could be taken more ways than one ?

And like Reine I want to know too,How did you meet her ?

Presh

I think I answered your question as well as I can already, Presh. Maybe I thot we were falling into a "friends" relationship. I've NEVER had a meaningful "friends" relationship with a GG unless it was also physical in some way. I thot maybe telling her about my dressing mite stir the pot for both of us! Or, maybe it would not. "Not" meaning in MY experience, we'll probably drift apart. Because I don't think we have enuff interests in common, or care enuff for each other to become "habit forming"!
But, at this point, I really don't know.


I don't meet many new people thru my work. I don't hang out in bars or coffee stores. Don't drink much of either. So, WHERE am I going to meet women? Online, of course!