Finding a room mate

[Jill]

I recently made a job change and in fact, today was the first day that I started, I just went in to fill out paper work and such. The gals in my local Tri -ess group know all about the difficulties I had at the old job, I just had to get out of it, it was severely compromising my happiness. I'm excited for the new job and a new opportunity but it pays significantly less than my previous job which means that in order to keep from going totally bankrupt, I need to get a room mate to help me split the cost of living.

I'm quite unhappy about this, not only because I've had a lot of room mates over the years and rejoiced at the opportunity I've had to live completely on my own. But also because when I did have room mates, I had was constantly on edge about hiding my crossdressing. Sneaking around, diving into half bathrooms, nearly getting caught. I really don't want to go back to that but I have little choice at this point.

What I would really like to do is get a room mate who doesn't care about my crossdressing and is open minded and non judgmental about it but I have no idea as to how to find this kind of room mate. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to do this? I know there's always the option of just putting it in the ad but I would prefer to not go that route. So outside of that, does anyone have any ideas?

[Donna1]

I would room with you, If I lived in UTAH! LOL...hugs girl!:)


I recently made a job change and in fact, today was the first day that I started, I just went in to fill out paper work and such. The gals in my local Tri -ess group know all about the difficulties I had at the old job, I just had to get out of it, it was severely compromising my happiness. I'm excited for the new job and a new opportunity but it pays significantly less than my previous job which means that in order to keep from going totally bankrupt, I need to get a room mate to help me split the cost of living.

I'm quite unhappy about this, not only because I've had a lot of room mates over the years and rejoiced at the opportunity I've had to live completely on my own. But also because when I did have room mates, I had was constantly on edge about hiding my crossdressing. Sneaking around, diving into half bathrooms, nearly getting caught. I really don't want to go back to that but I have little choice at this point.

What I would really like to do is get a room mate who doesn't care about my crossdressing and is open minded and non judgmental about it but I have no idea as to how to find this kind of room mate. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to do this? I know there's always the option of just putting it in the ad but I would prefer to not go that route. So outside of that, does anyone have any ideas?

[abigailf]

Well, I assume you will interview all potentials, right. Bring it up during the interview.

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Jill, I was in your position a year ago next month. In my case I needed a roommate that already had a place or go in together to find a place. I am in what is now a long distance relationship, so I had to ask my SO if it was OK for me to seek either a GG or another CD since I know I would not want a male as a roommate for various reasons. She trusts me 100% and is not the jealous type that would worry. She also knows how I feel about most men. Guys are OK at work, out fishing, playing golf, or out for a drink or beer. But other then another CD, a male would not work for me as a roommate. I much prefer the company of women. I was very lucky to find a 42 year old GG that is considerate, friendly and not looking for anything more then a casual friend to split the cost of living. I like her and she seems to like me, but we stay out of each other's life while we maintain separate lives. Another words, we are friendly but not close/ Sure I wish I could tell her I am a CD, but not sure how she's feel about it. So I rarely dress at home. Which means I don't dress much at all lately. I lent her my laptop and maybe she saw this or other sites and now knows. If so, she has not said a word or acted differently toward me.
But I put an ad on Craig's List. I did explain that I wanted a female roommate and that I was in a serious LD relationship. That's the add my roommate responded to. In another ad I said I was a CD and that I was looking for another CD for a roommate. I did not get any responses from that one other then a few gay and a few bi guys...but no CD's. Yes it could be better if I could openly dress at home, but I can deal with it not being the case.
You did not say if you wanted a female, male or another CD as a roommate. But I suggest you do several ads for whatever type of roommate you are looking for. I did use a couple of the roommate sites available too. Not much luck there either. But I do suggest you state what gender, age range, and sexuality you are comfortable with. I also expressed that I don't get along with drug or alcohol abusers.
I even did an ad of sorts on this site. Again, no luck. Not many of us in this area. At least single and looking for a roommate.
To sum it up, you are going to have to advertise what you seek. I wish you luck.

[*Vanessa*]

Hi Jill
Well, I think this may workout just fine. What size are you again? Your favorite color?

D'oh Utah?! Darn sweetie, I'm in Canada. Come up and look for work here if that job doesn't pan out ;) :heehee:

PS: Trust your instincts Jill. Online Ads are not always a scary place but be careful. How about a blind Ad at the university? I think woman are better rommie personally.

[sterling12]

People in your Tri-Ess Group are probably "plugged-in" to the rest of the community in your area. Let them know your looking for a roommate. Also, next time your at a local club, be telling other gurls that your trying to find someone looking for a Trans Roommate. Bet you get some nibbles very quickly!

But, understand that T-people aren't much different from other roommates. Problems you have experienced with others are just as likely with some members of our community. So "hassle-wise," it's probably a wash. Chances of problems are about equal, but with a T-Roomie you won't have to fret about discovery, and won't have to sneak around.

peace and Love, Joanie

[PretzelGirl]

I am one of those that can't think about being roommates with someone I don't know. Just crosses my threshold for comfort. My home is where I should feel the most secure and not dealing with an out of control roomie which is always a possibility. So if you have any friends that need a place, you could test the waters but the risk is them telling everyone. Not an easy decision at all. But if you are going to look for a roommate from the general public, what is the harm of asking them if they care? Will you ever see them again? Something that can be a possibility if you can find that you will be okay with asking that question.

[Stephenie S]

Whether you crossdress or not should have little to do with who you pick for a roomie.

I am a landlady, and believe me, there are FAR more important issues when you plan on living with someone else. How clean are they? How quiet are they? How friendly and polite are they? Will they pay the rent on time? ALL these are absolutely far more important.

Remember, it's YOUR house. You set the rules. If one of the rules is that you crossdress then so be it. Make it part of the house rules.

Want me to be sympathetic? OK. I am. I know just what you mean. I rent rooms. I have three other women living with me. When I masturbate I make LOTS of noise. No really! I make LOTS of noise. I am SO self conscious about this that I only masturbate when I am totally alone in the house.

There. Feel better?

Stephie