Recent feelings

[heatherCD8772]

When I first started dressing I was just a little kid, around the age of 5. Well over there years I have continued to dress and all but here recently since I have been able to dress almost everyday I have been having these strong feelings that I just want to be a girl and be done with my male self. I mean I have always questioned my gender but now everytime I look in the mirror I try to imagin looking at a women, not a man and everytime I look down I just want that to be gone.

Here lies the problem. I have a wonderful SO and we plan to get married, she knows about my dressing and has since day one. I would never do anything to put our relationship in danger but this feeling just keeps getting more intense the more and more I dress. AHHHHHHHH, why cant life just come with an instruction booklet, lol.

[Kimberly]

lol. I can sympathise with your situation: I sit here at least once a week, and think about all the implications of my gender and my appearance on the outside and just think, "why, oh, why can't I just be a girl??" Well... I don't know why. But I'm getting by okay. :)

You've got to look at both sides of yourself here, Heather. We all must feel more complete and content when dressing en femme, otherwise we wouldn't do this... but my life exists on an equalibrium. I am both male and female, and therefore express myself as both genders. More openly, I'm bi sexual, and so I can express interest in both men and women. So, I ask you to look at your male side, and see what joy you get from it already. You already mentioned your SO - what else is there you like about your male self??

I'm sure if we all really push ourselves, we can find it within us, things which we like about both genders. The male sense of adventure and fun would be one for me. :)

Before doing away with "him", try seeing what's good about "him" .... then you may even keep "him." But keep your options open, hunny, and remember we're only a click and a few taps away :p

xx

[urban gypsy]

I think you are feeling like this because of whats in your life at the momment. strong relationship with the possiblilty of marriage.
I have one question for you whats the rest of your current situation like i.e work social life etc.?
If all this is alright as well, just stop fretting as when every thing has been A OK for me I sometimes feel like this to make me question who I am and the answers usually the same a very happy cross dresser with a good life.

[TVG]

Heather,

I can truly sympathize with your feelings. It is probably a good thing you have these feel that at your age and this point in your life. I didn’t feel that way till my late thirties. By then I was well into marriage, kids, house, pets etc. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on the view, my marriage fell apart just before I turned 42. Alone for the first time in 20 years I realized that unless I figure out if I really wanted to be a girl or all the years of secretly crossdressing created the fantasy of living my alternate lifestyle, I would most likely end up in another failed relationship. I decided that for my sanity and caring not to screw up someone else’s life, I was going to find out. I moved near a large city so the hassle of coming out wouldn’t complicate my problems and lived in women’s clothes. I hooked up with the TG community, went to the meetings, the clubs and left myself open for new experiences. Although I couldn’t ever pass, it was quite clear where my head was. It took about 6 months before I had the answer. I believe for long term happiness you must somehow find your answer.


:) tvg

[Billijo49504]

Sounds like you are a candidate for some professional gender counciling. When you are totally confused, it's time for the first team, the pros. I wondered, then I found out I'm just a crossdresser, and really don't want to be a GG. I just want to play at being one on occasion. When I do, I really work at trying to pass. But when I'm done, a bra and panties are enough to keep me happy.