"Busted" at the Senior Citizen's Center

[AKADonna]

I've been crossdressing for about 30 years and enjoy wearing a nice bra and breastforms under my drab clothes every day. I purposely wear some flatter breastforms so that my little underdressing 'secret' won't be exposed. This has not presented a problem for me and I have done it almost every day for several years.

Once a week, I play bridge with a mixed group of Seniors at our Senior Citizen Center. Of course, I am always 'packing' so to speak! Older people would not be very open minded concerning my crossdressing, IMHO.

Today, as we took a break for refreshments, one of the ladies came over to our table and engaged in some conversation. Standing behind me, she rested her hand on my shoulder as we all spoke. When she retreated to her table, her hand gently slid down my back and I am almost sure that she felt my bra clasp as she did. Her hand just seemed to stop there! Nothing was said, but after we resumed playing cards, I looked over in her direction and she gave me the most knowing glance and then winked at me! (She happens to be one of the hottest looking of the senior ladies at the center!)

Now, I don't know what to do! I dare not say something for fear that I will expose something that need not be exposed. I feel certain that, if she tells the other ladies about it, I will be getting lots of looks and maybe a few pat downs next week. I hope that she will simply keep her suspicions to herself, but I just don't know.

This provides mixed emotions. The thrill of being 'busted' is always there. The excitement of being found out by such a pretty lady is really fun. But the threat of being exposed and ridiculed by these older friends remains.

I'm just going to remain quiet and see what happens. I may not wear a bra there next week in case some people want to casually 'feel me up'! I frankly had never though of my little secret coming out by way of a casual touch to my back!

[sissystephanie]

If it becomes necessary, you could always say that you wear a back brace! Lots of men do wear them, and I understand that the clasps are just about like those of a bra. I do not wear one myself, since I am usually wearing my own bra. I have been wearing one almost every day since I was 9 years old and I am now 79!! I do not wear forms since I have natural 40 B's!!

I have had my back "stroked" like yours was, and wondered if my bra was felt! But on one has ever said anything to me about it! Does make you wonder though!!

[celeste26]

Unless something is said to you no response is needed. Even then honesty is always best and any ridicule is in your own mind. Unless there is some movement to throw you out of this club nothing is really needed anyway. Dont worry about it anyway.

[Kittyagain]

If you are not married then a date may follow.

Kitty

[Phoebe]

I don't know what the laws are where you live. Here in Minnesota we have one of the first Transgender laws. That bascily states that there should not be any discrimination based on our appearance if we choose to appear female. From the Minnesota Department of Human Rights.

Minnesota Statutes 1996, Chapter 363, sec. 10. Minnesota
Statutes, section 363.03. subdivision 3. PUBLIC
ACCOMODATIONS, (A.1) It is unfair discriminatory
practice: to deny any person the full and equal enjoyment of
the goods services facilities, privileges, advantages, and
accommodations of a place of public accommodation because of
race, color, creed, religion, disability, national origin, sexual
orientation, or sex.

From the Sate of Minnesota - Department of Human Rights
Transgender, is a broad term used to encompass all manifestations of crossing gender barriers. The transgender community includes all who cross dress or otherwise gender norms. The Minnesota Human Rights Act defines transgendered people as:*..having or being perceived as having a self-image or
identity not traditionally associated with one's biological maleness or femaleness*

Therefore if someone wanted to bar me from activities at my senior facility I would file a discrimination complaint with the management.

[GeorgiaHall]

The not knowing if she did or didn't know would drive me nuts!!! I might leave the bra off and present the opportunity to be one on one and see if SHE says something.... I think if she was going to out you in an embarrassing way it would have already happened or you would get a call from her complaint. Keep us posted!!!!

[AKADonna]

I've never even thought of the possibility of being barred from the Senior Center; just the embarassment of the situation. You know, older people can be pretty conservative and hard nosed. I think that if such a barring came up, I would simply withdraw since I go there to play cards and have fun and I would no longer be able to enjoy the situation anyway.

[Nancy (PA)]

My take on this is that if you have any interest in this woman, then wear your best bra and panties and see if she follows up on her "explorations". And then monitor what reaction you get from her. She might just like this, and you. If you're outed, then find another card game.

[Stacey Summer]

The fact that she winked at you suggests to me that she knows and has no problem with it at all. A knowing look on its own would be ambiguous and leave me wondering what was going to happen but the wink seals the deal on her not caring. As for whether she will tell the other old ladies, well that's something you'll just have to discover next week. Also you'll find that people generally mellow as the get older and remember, you're not some random stranger that came in one week and was found out, you've been playing cards with them for a while and they will see you as a friend.

[Stephenie S]

I am going to repeat myself AGAIN on this subject.

You can't wear a bra in public and NOT have somebody notice. You just can't. SOMEONE will notice. All those who THINK you are getting away with this - you aren't! It's just that A. people don't care or B. They are too polite to call the nice gentleman on his rather odd dressing habits.

That's ALL it is.

A bra is just too distinctive a garment (half the world's population wears one) to hide on a man. And good luck with that "back brace foolishness. All women, and any dude that's dated in high school, knows what a bra feels like.

Most people just don't care WHAT you wear. Your lady friend was just checking. She saw it and moved in for the feel. Don't read ANY ulterior motive here. Women are curious. If you're single, ask HER out. Don't assume that she wants your bod just 'cause she felt your bra. That would be quite presumptuous, don't ya think?. But ask. At least she already knows your underwear preference.

Stephie

[SmileS12]

I don't know, and I'm kind of new here, and that probably didn't need to be said. Honestly, the wink in my mind is like saying, "Hey, your secret is safe with me". As if she figured you were trying to keep it a secret, she wasn't going to tell. I mean that is how I would of read that.

[ReineD]

You could be wearing a back support .....

http://www.riversidepapercompany.com/main_files/whse_misc/safety_back_belts.html

[Jorja]

Well my dear, it was bound to be discovered sometime. I am surprised you went so long without discovery. Yes, tell her it's a back support. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!:heehee:

[donnatracey]

I use to wear 1 of those back supports when I worked at Sears - a job requirement. Don't know of too many people who would wear one otherwise, esp to a Senior Citizen's Center!...unless you are helping some of them to move some heavy items.....:heehee:

[Raychel Torn]

OK you got a wink, sounds good to me. But she may not really know if your a man dressing as a women or a women dressing as a man. Either way she seemed to be interested.

[Rachel Morley]

I may not wear a bra there next week in case some people want to casually 'feel me up'!
If I was you, that is exactly what I would do. Go bra-less for a few weeks until it dies down.


If it becomes necessary, you could always say that you wear a back brace! Lots of men do wear them, and I understand that the clasps are just about like those of a bra. That is exactly what my wife said to me when I said "but what if people see the outline of bra under my t-shirts" when we were first going out. She says no one will notice that it is a bra, and if they do say anything tell them its a back brace.

[Michelle Charles]

You've worn a bra for years, because you enjoy it and want to. people can see when you are wearing a bra, this is not the first to notice , nor will she be the last, wear it proudly. If you are ridiculled, find other "friends' to hang out with. If nothing is said, you are in good company and maybe a blouse and slacks are soon coming.
Michelle

[Chickhe]

Well...hey, if she is the good looking one and she winked at you its all good.

[donnalee]

She likely will have the wisdom to keep it to herself; she has nothing to gain from distributing this information and something to lose (your friendship). Age has a high attrition rate as far as friends and loved ones go; you learn to treasure the ones still around, so I think you're pretty safe.

[PretzelGirl]

I am with Stephenie. Unless you are wearing multiple layers, bra straps and the adjustment clips just stick out. And back braces have wider straps over the shoulders. Stop wearing it for a while and see where you stand, then you will know where to go from there. But it sounds like she won't be an issue.

[lingerieLiz]

Why stop? Are you both single? If so ask her out. She may like to have a shopping partner. I suspect that others already know. Bra lines show. When you play cards you bend forward which pulls the shirt forward and will make the fabric on your back tight and show your bra lines.

At her age she knows what bras feel like through clothes. I had an airline attendant put her hand on my back as I was putting a woman’s bag in the overhead bin for her. She instantly knew she had touched a bra clasp. She apologized profusely, but I told her not to worry it didn’t bother me. It doesn’t bother all women!

[Stephenie S]

I have said this over and over and over again. You can't hide a bra. Want to wear one in public? That's fine. As I said, half the world's population does too. But PLEASE don't succumb to the fantasy that no one will notice. It's just that, a fantasy.

Hide panties? Much easier. But unless you wear a suit jacket eventually someone will notice that too. A corset? Come ON! impossible to hide. Panty hose? Someone will notice them at your ankle. Put some socks over them. Stockings and garter belt? Sorry. They stand right out on a guy. A girdle? Same answer.

Oh, I have an idea. A burka! That should take care of all your problems. And it's a quite distinctive female garment. You will feel SO feminine.

S

[Joanna41]

Donna...if you wear your bra each time there don't stop. That woman that winked at you knows what you are wearing and its uncertain if she would whisper in someone's ear about it. However since she winked at you...I'm betting your secret is safe with her. Next time drop her a wink and let it go...she knows about it and a wink back from you is an acknowledgement that you know she knows but its a secret. Enjoy it...but I would still wear it next week!

Joanna

[Inna]

Hi Lovely Donna, I may be forward, I often am, and offer my two cents which as you know...........used to be worth something back in the day ;) Getting outed by some hottie, who obviously smiled to ya, and seems to be in friendly demeanor, is one of those situations worth living fer!
And isn't it time............secrets, guilt, all the stuff of regret, isn't it time to finally get arid of the weight? I know, such truth may lead to disappointment in friends and even loved ones, but what is life without disappointment.....................darn wrong example! :facepalm:

What I mean or at least try to, is that life isn't life if not true and wholesome, you are you and no one should ever have any power to tell you otherwise.
My own experience , besides few disappointments, was full of joy and disbelief of how many have embraced me with even deeper love after my reveal.

I am transsexual woman so the heft of my reveal was rather heavy but I am not saying anyone's reveal gets any easier.

That's my two cents......................or even a dollar.......still can't buy much with

LOve Ya, B U always!

[Lorileah]

Part of the fun of dressing is little things like getting felt up or flashing a bi of stocking. i would wear what you want to wear. Life is too short to worry about what others think. If you are happy and you are not harming anyone be yourself.

[part-time-amanda]

I would love for that to happen to me, I'm so jealous! Guess I need to actually wear it out of the house first though. I agree though if you've worn what you want when you wanted the whole time why stop now? Or ever.

[Sam-antha]

I have the feelling that you have been given more than a wink. Possibly it is a challenge, but whether it is a public or a private one I have no idea. That is for you to discover. Don't go shy, go find out. Challenges - or dares - do not happen that often in my life. Go and find out. How ? that is up to you.

~Samm

[Ellyn]

If she brings it up, and if you have boobs, tell her you wear it for comfort because you have a condition called "gynomastica". Let her seek out just what that is. It is a very common condition comedians call "manboobs".

[kimdl93]

The not knowing if she did or didn't know would drive me nuts!!! I might leave the bra off and present the opportunity to be one on one and see if SHE says something.... I think if she was going to out you in an embarrassing way it would have already happened or you would get a call from her complaint. Keep us posted!!!!

On the contrary, I'd suggest wearing the bra again, next time and see if she happens to touch your shoulder again. With the knowing look and life experience, she'd probably be disappointed if you didn't. As for embarrassment I wouldn't let it bother me - its too late in life...don't live to avoid regrets...live.

Or just read what Lori said - Amen, Sister!

[Maria 60]

I was in a mall with my wife a while ago and i was wearing a bra and we meet a friend of hers, she put her arm around me and i could feel she had her hand on my bra and at one point she even put her fingers under the bra. Though all of that she was just talking and not even knowing what she was doing. She let go of the bra and said goodbye and no funny look or anything.

[donnatracey]

Maria...she knew...she def knew.....:)