Man, kids are nosy.

[Loretta]

My little cousins were over at my house today (oldest is 7, second is 5, third is 3, and youngest is 2). Their mom dropped them off because the youngest (the only boy in the bunch) got his toenails painted by the 3 year old, and she was out of nail polish remover.
Fast forward about 7 hours. All of the other adults (including their mom, but not my uncle, because he was at work) are tired, so I get babysitting duty. They follow me back to my room.
The oldest then proclaims "I'M BORED!" and start rummaging through my closet.
This prompts the rest of them to join in.
They pull out all of my femme clothes, my wig, and my shoes, along with my personal journal that I've kept for the last 7 years (inside the journal was a few photos of me dressed from a school event 5 years ago, called opposite sex day, along with a few... more recent photos ).
Then they put on an outfit apiece, and a pair of shoes apiece, and of course they gave their little brother a wig. I was in the kitchen.

Imagine my horror when all of them march out there. Their mom (also my cousin, and my aunt's daughter) asked them where they got the clothes from.
Cue the oldest saying "We got them from cousin's closet!" and handing over the photos of me dressed to their mom.
Now their mom thinks I'm a gigantic pervert, and refuses to let me watch her kids.

That makes two out of two unaccepting people that my aunt gave birth to.
To top it off, they're all coming over again, along with my other cousin, who found her pumps in my closet (She was unaccepting, to say the least.), because it's the latter's birthday.
I'm already having enough trouble keeping all of this from my uncle, who is as unaccepting of alternate lifestyles as they come.

What should I do?:cry:

[Toni Citara]

You have so much negativity and drama to deal with. Sorry to come across as harsh, but why the hell did you let anybody into your sanctuary?

That was just way too accommodating to your family members. You need to "man up" and tell people to stay the hell out of your bedroom. It is YOUR PLACE not theirs.

Seriously, why the hell let anybody, young or old, snoop through your closets? Sure, your female cousin went batshitcrazy, but you need to become more assertive!

I realize you are younger than many of us here, but one day you will look back and realize you were too willing to make other people happy at the risk of your own personal growth.

Again, be more assertive, more direct, and despite your femme desires, become a total ass and/or bitch to protect yourself. You should have went apeshit angry with your cousin, she moved out, your room was NO LONGER her room. You may be a bit naive to recognize the move she pulled, but she was snooping, not actually looking for her "lost" whatever. She does NOT like you. Can you understand that? If she did like you, respect you, love you, she would have never behaved like that.

Dood... you are screwed nine ways 'til sunday until you take control of your life.

Again, I'm not trying to come across as harsh, but damn bro... you're allowing yourself to be played. Only you can stop the insanity!

[Loretta]

You have so much negativity and drama to deal with. Sorry to come across as harsh, but why the hell did you let anybody into your sanctuary?

That was just way too accommodating to your family members. You need to "man up" and tell people to stay the hell out of your bedroom. It is YOUR PLACE not theirs.

Seriously, why the hell let anybody, young or old, snoop through your closets? Sure, your female cousin went batshitcrazy, but you need to become more assertive!

I realize you are younger than many of us here, but one day you will look back and realize you were too willing to make other people happy at the risk of your own personal growth.

Again, be more assertive, more direct, and despite your femme desires, become a total ass and/or bitch to protect yourself. You should have went apeshit angry with your cousin, she moved out, your room was NO LONGER her room. You may be a bit naive to recognize the move she pulled, but she was snooping, not actually looking for her "lost" whatever. She does NOT like you. Can you understand that? If she did like you, respect you, love you, she would have never behaved like that.

Dood... you are screwed nine ways 'til sunday until you take control of your life.

Again, I'm not trying to come across as harsh, but damn bro... you're allowing yourself to be played. Only you can stop the insanity!

Different cousin. The other one didn't have kids.

[Toni Citara]

You are diverting and avoiding. Who cares if it was a different cousin. You still allowed yourself to become a victim. For some reason many CD guys think that being femme means being a doormat to the world. Stop making excuses and stand up for yourself, seek your level of assertiveness and stand up for your life. If you don't do it now, when will you do it?


Different cousin. The other one didn't have kids.

[CarlaWestin]

Gee, no more noisy mannerless nose pickers to deal with? Sounds like a good deal to me. I've raised kids, that is children with manners and respect.

[Nicole Erin]

Well first, at least you don't have to watch the damned kinds anymore. big_girl_too hilarified that one good :D But she should have said, "mannerless nose-miners"

Second, you really do need to start standing up for yourself. If you are going to be a CD/TS, you need to really grow a set. CD/TS do not survive this life without learning to "man-up". Funny I guess cause "man" is the very thing we are trying to escape but if nothing else, learn to be a strong woman.

Also, so some family members don't accept, what business of it is theirs? Are you gonna ask their permission to live as you see fit to be happy?

You are an "out" TG person now. The closet no longer guards your life.

In fairness, alright you are probably new to being "out" and you do have a lot of hassles and ego-blows coming your way, you need to stand up for yourself. To hell with those who don't accept.

So what are my sources of this? Well, I am full-time TS. Whether or not people "accept" or "approve" is no longer a concern. Sure some don't approve but I don't give a damn. You too will get to this point.

[VioletJourney]

Dude, confront their mom about it. Ask why she thinks you're a pervert. At least, that's what I would do. I love making people realize horrible things about themselves :devil:

[Cynthia Anne]

My answer is in my signature! Loretta life is too short to let a couple of people mess with it! Smile! It looks great on you!:):hugs:

[TGMarla]

Geez, what a mess! Thanks for nothing, kids.

I think I'd have a face to face with the kids' mom, who you say thinks you're a pervert and refuses to allow you to watch the kids any more. I'd tell her that first of all, you're NOT some pervert, and that you just engage in a PRIVATE activity that many, many people do on their own, that it doesn't make you a bad person, and that were they your kids, you'd have taught them that one NEVER starts rummaging through other people's belongings without permission. I'd let her know that you are upset with her for this having happened, and that as the parent, you hold her responsible for it. Then let her know that your little diversion is no one's business but your own, but that you're willing to forgive her for her kids' transgressions, provided she talk to them about leaving other people's things alone.

Stand your ground. You're the injured party here, not her.

[RADER]

Kids are suppose to be nosy, the nosier the better, It is when they get quiet is when you start
to shudder as to what are they doing. This is true.:2c::)
Rader

[tiffanyjo89]

Um, she thinks you're a pervert, but it was her kids that went digging in YOUR closet.

Seems a bit like a double standard. "My kids are allowed to be nosy and go through your closet and other private things without getting punished, but since you like wearing women's clothing...you are weird and cannot be around them anymore."

[bridgetta]

bummer... knowledge is power... if everyone told the truth the world would be a much better place.

[ReineD]

OMG ... I am so sorry this happened.

What type of damage control can you do? I love Marla's answer.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Defiantly have a calm shit down talk with your cousin and find out why she thinks the way she does and inform her way she is wrong about you. In a loving manner of coarse. Also don't let people rummage through your things!

Hugs

[kimdl93]

What a mess. Well, you've gotten a lot of good advice here. My thought is to visit with your aunt and see if she can help you come up with a strategy to preserve your rights and dignity, and at the same time put to rest the conflict with your cousins.

[BRANDYJ]

I have a different take on what happened. You said the kids followed you back to your room. One says he's bored and you tell us he started rummaging through your closet. STOP right there. Why in the world didn't you stop him before he got started? Knowing my personal things that I don't want found are in there, I would have stopped this kid the minute he stuck his nose into my closet. There is no way I would have gone to the kitchen leaving 3 little kids alone in my room long enough to find and dress in 3 outfits! That is unless I wanted to be found out by them. Are you not telling us something? Something like you wanted the kids to out you?
Sorry Loretta, I'd refuse to let you watch my kids too if you were careless enough to leave them alone long enough to find 3 outfits and decide to dress in them and walk out to show off their find to other family ,members. (what...20-30 minutes alone?) Quite simply, it sounds like you did a poor job of watching them. Kids ages 3,5, 7 should not have been left unattended long enough to put on clothes and go through your things as they did. I'm glad you did not have a gun or two in that same closet.
It does sound like you wanted the kids to out you this way. Not good.

[Joanna41]

I was gonna write almost word for word what Marla already posted. She us correct. They invaded your privacy.

Joanna

[larry]

Move get your own place with double locks.

[VioletJourney]

I don't like Marla's answer. It sounds very defensive. Tell her if she hates you for it then she should hate her own kids for it because I don't think anyone's mentioned yet that those kids were crossdressing too.

[Rachael Ray]

One thing I need to ask. Is this at your house or your aunt and uncle's, where you are the live-in housekeeper?

[donnatracey]

I have a different take on what happened. You said the kids followed you back to your room. One says he's bored and you tell us he started rummaging through your closet. STOP right there. Why in the world didn't you stop him before he got started? Knowing my personal things that I don't want found are in there, I would have stopped this kid the minute he stuck his nose into my closet. There is no way I would have gone to the kitchen leaving 3 little kids alone in my room long enough to find and dress in 3 outfits! That is unless I wanted to be found out by them. Are you not telling us something? Something like you wanted the kids to out you?
Sorry Loretta, I'd refuse to let you watch my kids too if you were careless enough to leave them alone long enough to find 3 outfits and decide to dress in them and walk out to show off their find to other family ,members. (what...20-30 minutes alone?) Quite simply, it sounds like you did a poor job of watching them. Kids ages 3,5, 7 should not have been left unattended long enough to put on clothes and go through your things as they did. I'm glad you did not have a gun or two in that same closet.
It does sound like you wanted the kids to out you this way. Not good.

You have my vote, Brandy!........:thumbsup:

[darla_g]

Totally unacceptable! they cannot go into your room and pull stuff out.

[BRANDYJ]

You have my vote, Brandy!........:thumbsup:

Thank you donnatracy.I was beginning to think I was the only one that felt this way about keeping kids (or anyone) looking through my room without permission. No way in he double hockey sticks would I allow this behavior unless I wanted my secret and private life exposed this way. Totally irresponsible to not keep an eye on the kids and stop them from dressing in someone else's clothes without permission. so I stand by what I said... I would not let Loretta watch my kids either. I side with his Aunt. Not because he is a CD, but because it's obvious he was not watching the kids. Or as I suggested, he wanted to be outed. If that's the case, it was a very bad way to out himself. Worse then if Loretta put on an outfit and paraded out in front of the other adults.
Kids 3,5,and 7 may not know better, but Loretta is old enough to know this was not acceptable to let them do what they did. No excuse for it to have happened. Sorry Loretta, but you were the one in the wrong here in my opinion.

[CarlaWestin]

It seems like it's OK for the crumb-snatchers to play dress up, so why are you a pervert?

[Toni Citara]

Okay, this really bugs me. Why would a mother allow a 3 year old to polish the toes of a 2 year old? Totally not going to happen. A 3 year old? Sorry, gotta call bu11sh!t on this one. I've been around kids too much of my life to believe this happened. Not with my family, cousins and not with my kids. Not possible. It is possible, however, to have a little kid paint polish all over the place, dump out baby powder, smear lipstick all over walls and doors, etc. But kids that young are not going to paint the toes of a kid the way described. Loretta, not saying things didn't happen, but I want to give you the benefit and give you the "bad historian" out. Things happen, not always as we remember them happening. Again, I and the others have all given you a strong dose of reality and "sisterly love" and hope you can rise above the drama in your life right now and become the person you will be proud of in the future.


...My little cousins were over at my house today (oldest is 7, second is 5, third is 3, and youngest is 2). Their mom dropped them off because the youngest (the only boy in the bunch) got his toenails painted by the 3 year old, and she was out of nail polish remover. ...

[Stacey Summer]

Thank you donnatracy.I was beginning to think I was the only one that felt this way about keeping kids (or anyone) looking through my room without permission. No way in he double hockey sticks would I allow this behavior unless I wanted my secret and private life exposed this way. Totally irresponsible to not keep an eye on the kids and stop them from dressing in someone else's clothes without permission. so I stand by what I said... I would not let Loretta watch my kids either. I side with his Aunt. Not because he is a CD, but because it's obvious he was not watching the kids. Or as I suggested, he wanted to be outed. If that's the case, it was a very bad way to out himself. Worse then if Loretta put on an outfit and paraded out in front of the other adults.
Kids 3,5,and 7 may not know better, but Loretta is old enough to know this was not acceptable to let them do what they did. No excuse for it to have happened. Sorry Loretta, but you were the one in the wrong here in my opinion.

It is one thing to suggest that Donna wanted to be outed, it is another thing entirely to do so in such a harsh and judgemental way. You cannot keep your eye on children 24/7 and I do not thinkg Donna was being irresponsible here. I wonder if you would have this attitude had the children been in bed before all this happened. My daughter is frequently in a different room to us, be it her bedroom or ours (we live in a flat) We keep all things that could harm her out of her sight/reach and even at 2 1/2 she knows where she's not allowed to nose around. She knows this because we have taught her. If you want to blame someone here, blame the mother for not teaching her kids to respect others belongings.

[BRANDYJ]

It is one thing to suggest that Donna wanted to be outed, it is another thing entirely to do so in such a harsh and judgemental way. You cannot keep your eye on children 24/7 and I do not thinkg Donna was being irresponsible here. I wonder if you would have this attitude had the children been in bed before all this happened. My daughter is frequently in a different room to us, be it her bedroom or ours (we live in a flat) We keep all things that could harm her out of her sight/reach and even at 2 1/2 she knows where she's not allowed to nose around. She knows this because we have taught her. If you want to blame someone here, blame the mother for not teaching her kids to respect others belongings.

I the first place, the OP is not Donna, it is Loretta. So I assume you have not read this thread enough to grasp what was said. Loretta said the boy said he was bored, so she was in the room at that time. She then said they entered her closet, again must have been in the room and could have stopped the rummaging of her closet. I was not being harsh or judgemental, just suggesting some things that should have and could have been handled differently. If the kids were in bed, got up and did this while those responsible for looking after them were elsewhere in the house, of course my response would have been totally different. I responded to exactly what Loretta said happened.

[eluuzion]

The face of a child always seems to say so much...
Especially the mouth part of the face...:D


How about this ..try them in this order..

First ...DENY
then...LIE
then...CRY

see, now this is why I never give advice...I am just not that good at it....:sad:


Look at the bright side...you have learned that undercover work or being a spy would not be good career choices for you! Maybe something along the lines of a family reality TV show or something might have potential?

Living or living close to relatives always creates potential for chaos.
and...
Well, Kids are a just handful, even on their best days.
Hey, I like kids alot.
But I've never been able to eat a whole one.:D:heehee::D

It sounds like a case of the inmates running your asylum.
It appears to be time to stand up for yourself, or be trampled to death by the stampede.

Good Luck...:hugs:

:love:

[PretzelGirl]

Fast forward about 7 hours. All of the other adults (including their mom, but not my uncle, because he was at work) are tired, so I get babysitting duty. They follow me back to my room.
The oldest then proclaims "I'M BORED!" and start rummaging through my closet.
This prompts the rest of them to join in.

I am going to have to go with Brandy here. You were babysitting. They went into the closet and you didn't stop them. You might have something more to add here, but it does sound like you not only had every opportunity to stop them, but you were the one responsible for them at the time.

When I had all my stuff hidden, there would be occassion that someone dropped by unexpectedly and might wander near my room. I would tell them that it was off-limits. I just can't see how you can allow them in your stuff and not be happy with the results. :strugglin

But thinking about this a little further, you have had a pretty good run. I know how that feels. I have experienced acceptance across the board. It has put me in the frame of mind where I just don't mind telling anyone. But I did talk with some folks more sane than I and got back to being cautious. Do you think that maybe you are expecting a lot of acceptance and may be throwing caution into the wind because of that?

[Loretta]

I am going to have to go with Brandy here. You were babysitting. They went into the closet and you didn't stop them. You might have something more to add here, but it does sound like you not only had every opportunity to stop them, but you were the one responsible for them at the time.

When I had all my stuff hidden, there would be occassion that someone dropped by unexpectedly and might wander near my room. I would tell them that it was off-limits. I just can't see how you can allow them in your stuff and not be happy with the results. :strugglin

But thinking about this a little further, you have had a pretty good run. I know how that feels. I have experienced acceptance across the board. It has put me in the frame of mind where I just don't mind telling anyone. But I did talk with some folks more sane than I and got back to being cautious. Do you think that maybe you are expecting a lot of acceptance and may be throwing caution into the wind because of that?
Well, it's not like I was watching them.
Those kids are NOT my responsibility. Their mom should have been watching them.
That, and the fact that, even though I acknowledged their presence in my room, I had my back turned to them, on my computer, with headphones blasting Metallica's Master of Puppets at full volume.
At first, I thought them going through my closet was fine, as I keep a couple of toys from my childhood in there, as momentos of days gone by.
Then, by the time I remembered what ELSE was in my closet, and turned around to investigate, they were already decked out in my clothes, running out of my room giggling.

And to the poster who said that a 3 year old painting a 2 year old's toenails was infeasible, I never said that she painted them WELL, now did I? After all, it was the entire reason why they were there to begin with.

And yes, I currently live with my aunt and uncle, along with my parents, and my little brother.
Things have worked out with both of my cousins. Today was the birthday of the cousin who called me a faggot after finding her pumps (that my aunt gave me) in my closet, along with a dress that my aunt had given me. She called, and apologized profusely, saying that such a reaction was out of shock, and hurt that she wasn't one of the first ones I told.
My other cousin (mother of the fearsome foursome) also stopped by today, and apologized for both her and her children's behavior, no doubt at the behest of my aunt. Still, an apology is an apology, no matter what. She sounded sincere, so I took it as such. At the moment, we are on good terms, but the subject of my dressing has been relegated to a position of silence (AKA, we don't talk about it, and we're good.)

Just because they were in my room, doesn't mean it's my job to watch her kids.
Not in the slightest. That said, I've taken it upon myself to play with them more when they come over, so the feeling of tiredness from playing too much discourages them from going through my things again.

For those of you with short attention spans, I will provide a shortened version of the above-stated message-

It's allllllllllll good.