Why So Serious?

[VioletJourney]

http://johnnywho.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/joker-1.jpg
I was just thinking about this and wondering what your perspective is.

If you get caught, or if you're coming out to someone, is it better to play it off as harmless fun and have a laugh about it, or give them a serious talk about self expression and gender identity?

I would say the former. Any serious talks I've had about CDing felt awkward and I'm sure they made the other person uncomfortable. I've had far better luck getting people to accept me by joking around and being fun about it.

[cassandra54]

i would agree with you, you're like me, "your wrong in all the right ways, so raise your glass"

[Cynthia Anne]

Sorry! I'm a take it or leave it girl! This is who I am! Hate me if you want to or love me if you can! Hugs!

[Lorileah]

You don't have to be either. If the situation warrants a soapbox stand then climb up but usually it is just idle curiosity. So you just say "Yes, I am" and go on. Why joke about it?

[KellyJameson]

A cheerful frame of mind, reinforced by relaxation... is the medicine that puts all ghosts of fear on the run. ~George Matthew Adams

And sometimes those fears are in other people who fear what they do not understand and resent what they cannot use. There is always a danger when we seek to explain ourselves to others that the effort will be viewed as an apology tinged with guilt or shame and will invite an attack. This may be a cold shoulder, cruel words, condescending words, ect... but make no mistake it is an attack against your right to be, to exist. They want to define you so you have value to them regardless of what the cost is to you.

Personal acceptance is only possible when we move beyond the need for approval from those who are filled with moral prejudice based on ignorance and fear.

[VioletJourney]

You don't have to be either. If the situation warrants a soapbox stand then climb up but usually it is just idle curiosity. So you just say "Yes, I am" and go on. Why joke about it?
Because if you can make them smile while they're thinking about CDing, you've started them on the path to acceptance.

[frax24]

off topic : i love you for creating a dark knight joker remark ^_^ hugs

[Tina B.]

Hey if it works for you, that's cool, but I just don't see anything funny about it. Unless you are close, I'm not talking about it at all, and if you are that close, it's no time for laughter, we have serious things to talk about. Oh, and I don't think real acceptance is that easy, they all laughed at Milton Byrle, and Red Skeleton, and Benny Hill, and the Monty Python group, but when they stopped laughing, nothing had changed, because if you find it funny, you don't have to take it serious.
Tina B.

[danielle.cd]

hers what i think . if u get to deep with it people will go whoooo to much into it and kinda push u away . if u laugh to much about it they may just take it as a joke . soo what i see is most people , i say most , will say what u do what and then if u act like its no big deal and give a little explaination then move on they just go ok an move on or they may just ask a question or two then move on them selves , thats what happened to me when i was caught by my best friend and cusin wereing girls under ware, i gave them a short explanation , ( it was laundry day an i ran out so i had to use the wifes) and they said theyl never forget it but i think it was a thing of the past and i aslo acted like it was no big deal . his coment was why didnt i were a dirty pair anouther day , i said oh hell no thats sick . he never said anouther word about it

[Joanne f]

I agree with Lorileah that it can be ether, some people will respond in a serious way and some will respond in a joking sort of way , it will no doubt depend on whether they want to know why you do it or just find it fun .

[noeleena]

Hi,

Haveing a captive group of people say over 130 & they have been told whats it like for a transfemale to live as a woman & then talking to them & interacting as well . for over an hour, with two different groups,
you can show the serious side & have fun as well. i have talked with many 100's of people, & spent time going over how would i handle a lot of info.

so i told my story in a way kids can understand & add more of how would an adult like to hear, & even that can very with people , some only can take so much in others wont the nut's & bolts ,

so i listen to thier ?'s then explain it so they can understand, kids are good as iv had Dejarn tell them as well. shes 8 y 10 m. grandchild,

I have allso interacted with the groups in a way with my body langauge that means as in one case, a guy asked about hair, his wife was next to him so i went up to them & pulled my sleeve up & took his hand so he could feel if i had hair on my arm. soft as a babys bum. he he . then asked do i have a head of hair , i said no ,.

So when you have others with you or on your side you both can interact & its fun as well as showing others you are quite normal, ( well im not & thats beside the point. ) it allows for the whole group to enter in to the spirit of the time to gether.

I enjoy my self & was quite at home with what i do & others made nice comments to me after.

Depends on you as a speaker & as a person in how comfortble you are about your self being in front of people .

...noeleena...

[Kittyagain]

I typed out a answer then deleted it after realizing, I don't know how I would react. I hope I would handle it like Lori and just say, " Yes I am."

Kitty

[bridgetta]

yes.. they will look at it. in accordance to how you present it.. and probably the people with the extreme bad reactions will go home and fantazise about it.. men particular all have something thats goin on in there heads that they keep to themselves...

[kimdl93]

It hasn't immediatly been amusing to those I came out to. I suppose in some situations it may be, but that hasn't been my experience. That's not to say that you can't lighten up the conversation. When I recently came out to my step daughter, it was pretty serious to begin with, but by the end of our conversation, we were both chuckling a little.

[NathalieX66]

Serious or not serious, the word is going to get out some how sooner or later.....for me anyway.
I honestly don't kow what theright answer is.

"wanna know how I got these scars? One night my father goes of crazier thasn unusual......."

[VioletJourney]

"wanna know how I got these scars? One night my father goes of crazier thasn unusual......."
LOL I'm imagining suzy in that scenario.